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秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。她慢步於公園大道，有意無意踏在枯葉上。沙沙沙，聽來已然粉身碎骨，看來完好無缺。129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCGkMLRlDE7
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD2JjurZvCY
「完好？」現在的她問。129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKfdgimIQ5P
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbcFbwzpa2W
「無缺？」曾經的他問。129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZJx740ywIB
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiMJnmugSAf
很多人說他生活美滿。家境富裕，頭腦聰明，五官英氣，身材高大。聞言他總是假笑，笑對方客氣得過份。奈何對方從未察覺他的笑容雖假，情感卻是真實而強烈的：他的確認為對方很過份。他想要的從不是這種生活，可惜每次對此表示厭棄時，總有人批評他不知足。129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcCe2WjvxTu
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAqm82eMzhA
輕嘆一聲，繼續前行。踏踏踏，沙沙沙，聲聲撕心裂肺。像父母的哭罵，令人痛，也令人愧疚不安。無論他們如何呼天搶地，他終究永遠不會回來。129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvpkHXQ4oV1
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8SnSE1s50A
遷入新居，展開新生。吃力，困難。已然表達得很清楚，對方還是假裝不知該使用哪個稱謂。有人說不介意，有人說很平常，話題和目光卻只停留在胯下之物。129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5PhagGlpGF
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMkJxvPvvSi
無處訴說的孤獨日夜縈繞不散。曾發誓永不後悔，曾以為自己是多麼堅毅勇敢，曾相信世界其實不是那麼單一而絕情……129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrpJvPtzFJf
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡckvE1I8unF
步出公園，拐了幾個街口，來到醫院門前。129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU7YE4Tlapv
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGHnsnx7PGp
「醫生，早晨。」129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjzQ4HJZOc
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbBW0VjzwZx
「早晨。近來身體好嗎？」129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHgKL3BhlpU
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmdvOI1ZpXR
「好……不過……」129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3f0WDnnA6
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQzwxF5UqW
「不過甚麼？」129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfCLJQbTzUz
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfK9GwhWv3p
「我想再做手術。」129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtAUPlKm20h
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2osaKQGIgu
「為甚麼？」129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0PdrsqUNdj
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB2VFCz26f9
「不適應現在的生活。」129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEfTuauZ1JH
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtbmtQhkCvz
「不適應身體的變化或是有其他困難？」129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ejRrhtCx4
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0sDuj3d8Fm
「是生活上的困難……其實我很滿意現在的身體，我覺得這才是真正的自己！過往的我根本不是我！可惜旁人都不是這麼認為……」129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgfTdgYd2mU
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIWRNmvGffG
「所以你想要回以前的性別？」129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkBWrVDiG5V
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjjRjDqFRfF
「不——我是不想要任何性別。」129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKkOUxtLMIx
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJfqMfibLDX
「噢……抱歉我還未能捕捉到你的思路。」129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDrH1Qdgal2
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡka9Q4hCkUx
「這些日子，我遇到的問題大都源於旁人無法定徹底認同我是男或女。如果我沒有特定性別，可以在『男』、『女』、『跨性別』、『無性別』幾個類別之間遊走，可能會更自由！」129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS5rDZA0g0r
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLcuC9cLUUF
「依我看來，你再次做手術之後，將要面對的問題會更多更嚴重。」129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUJjLrIfFxX
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG8EnrJqAMI
「我理解你的意思，但我還是想要放手一搏——我堅信每次改變都會帶來新的可能、新的希望。」129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ518u7UnJbQ
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbdQy3fuKrN
「既然你堅持，我會按程序寫信轉介你去心理輔導部門作專業評估。」129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrqxOni5G7W
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ynlq04QAJ
「謝謝你。」129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkTDmD0wUV8
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJaCXXOuYmT
跟醫生多聊一會後，她步出醫院，再次走經公園。129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9KwmSi36QY
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdRXRbVNEXv
秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。她慢步於公園大道，有意無意踏在枯葉上。沙沙沙，聽來已然粉身碎骨，看來完好無缺。129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP6VBBTalCj
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrVmmTfTg3V
「以前未完好。」現在的她說。129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ91rdWNGf9W
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe02cpRGH0L
「將來會無缺。」曾經的他說。129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwRpPHO0A3m
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYFnjavYy1a
她笑了，笑自己傻，笑自己依然沉浸在幻想世界當中，相信自己的人生將來一定會變得完好無缺。129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbDa4qLHqYY
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHbP2FYwv7R
明知無人能斷言明天一定會更好。129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSV4dD7z08U
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbHZN1jIep9
奈何人總需要一個努力的原因、一個繼續活下去的原因。129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsXaYmlwQ20
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmDwEPXvqYq
那個原因名為「希望」。129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhGQfyBL1O
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRgz5uYWDVL
「我定要繼續努力。」現在的她說。129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp2NZfji1JH
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNV0bCoBQtl
「好好活下去吧。」曾經的他說。129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW6RnnRGHtn
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgLF9ZZ4buo
秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGXHrAke7Tr
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW1pxtqaUgy
她慢步於公園大道，放眼欣賞沿路風景，不再留意地上的枯葉。
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》
ns 15.158.61.37da2
