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秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。她慢步於公園大道，有意無意踏在枯葉上。沙沙沙，聽來已然粉身碎骨，看來完好無缺。128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmobzEpP01U
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS9Dr2uTG60
「完好？」現在的她問。128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9EkqVqWmKW
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4fS37G2M8U
「無缺？」曾經的他問。128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYaO3uiWe4f
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdsrIumTZV2
很多人說他生活美滿。家境富裕，頭腦聰明，五官英氣，身材高大。聞言他總是假笑，笑對方客氣得過份。奈何對方從未察覺他的笑容雖假，情感卻是真實而強烈的：他的確認為對方很過份。他想要的從不是這種生活，可惜每次對此表示厭棄時，總有人批評他不知足。128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0eJV2E5k0u
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQ7qjCl7Mk
輕嘆一聲，繼續前行。踏踏踏，沙沙沙，聲聲撕心裂肺。像父母的哭罵，令人痛，也令人愧疚不安。無論他們如何呼天搶地，他終究永遠不會回來。128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc5bWKrNony
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH7mxPHuC87
遷入新居，展開新生。吃力，困難。已然表達得很清楚，對方還是假裝不知該使用哪個稱謂。有人說不介意，有人說很平常，話題和目光卻只停留在胯下之物。128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6ZlIbhTXr
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWEW6rLTbe
無處訴說的孤獨日夜縈繞不散。曾發誓永不後悔，曾以為自己是多麼堅毅勇敢，曾相信世界其實不是那麼單一而絕情……128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzYcrZNJM3j
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaQf61DFMjp
步出公園，拐了幾個街口，來到醫院門前。128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ24yZbT2VnE
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFmDsfHytYd
「醫生，早晨。」128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1xZK1Co4NV
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOspDfH1HkM
「早晨。近來身體好嗎？」128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc6dvGF4Ylp
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68neVu0yEg
「好……不過……」128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZdfGv1QFCX
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjFXcvEB5oV
「不過甚麼？」128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV8eN1AXKzg
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlbcFXf3qBI
「我想再做手術。」128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXIij0ycc2h
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvIKB7Jz0Lw
「為甚麼？」128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgGBShx9ZV3
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6BnuArFfG7
「不適應現在的生活。」128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOeSUhXw8Xi
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjvr6Bj4Ja
「不適應身體的變化或是有其他困難？」128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmtRYJkcOG9
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzK6SmNx3FC
「是生活上的困難……其實我很滿意現在的身體，我覺得這才是真正的自己！過往的我根本不是我！可惜旁人都不是這麼認為……」128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpwukusNl45
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzzz9UaizJE
「所以你想要回以前的性別？」128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8uCPld63Hz
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdlSyFlUEH7
「不——我是不想要任何性別。」128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiHCXEj2QUG
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1mTEuVHQVu
「噢……抱歉我還未能捕捉到你的思路。」128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV3agdJeEX4
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhxNRh3QyZ6
「這些日子，我遇到的問題大都源於旁人無法定徹底認同我是男或女。如果我沒有特定性別，可以在『男』、『女』、『跨性別』、『無性別』幾個類別之間遊走，可能會更自由！」128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdpRcBkuxbG
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMDOG4AKpdd
「依我看來，你再次做手術之後，將要面對的問題會更多更嚴重。」128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn7IRZlkOIw
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHWvxoNUdbt
「我理解你的意思，但我還是想要放手一搏——我堅信每次改變都會帶來新的可能、新的希望。」128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9jyzqes7Hy
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNXqgWkrs9z
「既然你堅持，我會按程序寫信轉介你去心理輔導部門作專業評估。」128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkcyPPGX2JX
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBUAk2rvFu
「謝謝你。」128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48xGDCF21o
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhyghetnKTx
跟醫生多聊一會後，她步出醫院，再次走經公園。128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAtpgx52xfC
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7tRdvrzvgm
秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。她慢步於公園大道，有意無意踏在枯葉上。沙沙沙，聽來已然粉身碎骨，看來完好無缺。128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDubQeGYC8p
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡANoG49HuZY
「以前未完好。」現在的她說。128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOczoX134i5
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnKPYe7P427
「將來會無缺。」曾經的他說。128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4VRnF2mLk
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1qiZpABh7N
她笑了，笑自己傻，笑自己依然沉浸在幻想世界當中，相信自己的人生將來一定會變得完好無缺。128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaJDA2f4esK
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6U9uMp71tp
明知無人能斷言明天一定會更好。128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYsdczEBCG4
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSvroZVBhbd
奈何人總需要一個努力的原因、一個繼續活下去的原因。128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1z2C7IwWcj
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzUNb1ALLDr
那個原因名為「希望」。128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmGGn5QAXm
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIY1n5Q4ne9
「我定要繼續努力。」現在的她說。128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIKDoqsPie
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrSBro1vmHb
「好好活下去吧。」曾經的他說。128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP877QA291M
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2JKlFL80Ho
秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ3KtMnzdf1
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhWLgtsBoSH
她慢步於公園大道，放眼欣賞沿路風景，不再留意地上的枯葉。
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》
ns 15.158.61.6da2
