x
秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。她慢步於公園大道，有意無意踏在枯葉上。沙沙沙，聽來已然粉身碎骨，看來完好無缺。116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZvKG9ShWhj
116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTew5DaaBMm
「完好？」現在的她問。116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxdXx2WVjcj
116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuDadAOElKF
「無缺？」曾經的他問。116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJV2yJ7SyeB
116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRr0G5cSVCk
很多人說他生活美滿。家境富裕，頭腦聰明，五官英氣，身材高大。聞言他總是假笑，笑對方客氣得過份。奈何對方從未察覺他的笑容雖假，情感卻是真實而強烈的：他的確認為對方很過份。他想要的從不是這種生活，可惜每次對此表示厭棄時，總有人批評他不知足。116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg8g83myuMQ
116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqZi1NyUzNC
輕嘆一聲，繼續前行。踏踏踏，沙沙沙，聲聲撕心裂肺。像父母的哭罵，令人痛，也令人愧疚不安。無論他們如何呼天搶地，他終究永遠不會回來。116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR9MZjv8MtC
116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNTDTTyIvYi
遷入新居，展開新生。吃力，困難。已然表達得很清楚，對方還是假裝不知該使用哪個稱謂。有人說不介意，有人說很平常，話題和目光卻只停留在胯下之物。116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsE5rOLXfj7
116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDcVSYSnjJs
無處訴說的孤獨日夜縈繞不散。曾發誓永不後悔，曾以為自己是多麼堅毅勇敢，曾相信世界其實不是那麼單一而絕情……116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmQfJfDf9nl
116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBdHDhH4aDt
步出公園，拐了幾個街口，來到醫院門前。116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2iTjxz96Bv
116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyWJ9hJNh2C
「醫生，早晨。」116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdNgpyzpsw3
116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Q0BG2gwA6
「早晨。近來身體好嗎？」116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR6Xkw0SARs
116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGYUy3ZnR7A
「好……不過……」116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGYyZnDvroj
116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaEBnEVN4ny
「不過甚麼？」116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwH05LOmrJq
116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJVunzBM8P3
「我想再做手術。」116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBYRDsIm70Z
116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyLeLRaNUWT
「為甚麼？」116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3HwVI4C8AU
116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuWYVPOUtgQ
「不適應現在的生活。」116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbTVacwBKXf
116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA54aHyhIrp
「不適應身體的變化或是有其他困難？」116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5nHgEJt5qr
116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVK6LKS7DyS
「是生活上的困難……其實我很滿意現在的身體，我覺得這才是真正的自己！過往的我根本不是我！可惜旁人都不是這麼認為……」116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8x9CYXBb7V
116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9xU0sfHqR8
「所以你想要回以前的性別？」116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu81IsgAukn
116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwZHP2re7SB
「不——我是不想要任何性別。」116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Is0Frh0Ns
116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpbTRdhQatO
「噢……抱歉我還未能捕捉到你的思路。」116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKUKMtGjXI
116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Tmrqi3uUN
「這些日子，我遇到的問題大都源於旁人無法定徹底認同我是男或女。如果我沒有特定性別，可以在『男』、『女』、『跨性別』、『無性別』幾個類別之間遊走，可能會更自由！」116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRXgHC0Ev9I
116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmQ4gF67A2u
「依我看來，你再次做手術之後，將要面對的問題會更多更嚴重。」116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6NOqWdpRCf
116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWAa3aoPQn2
「我理解你的意思，但我還是想要放手一搏——我堅信每次改變都會帶來新的可能、新的希望。」116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvSYJbPV5CG
116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLnIhrKK9zT
「既然你堅持，我會按程序寫信轉介你去心理輔導部門作專業評估。」116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkUOknuCSEo
116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTD66CLuOPN
「謝謝你。」116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcHUn0tcxut
116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfKDBxbvtEH
跟醫生多聊一會後，她步出醫院，再次走經公園。116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3XzUo1k8z5
116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd4ZXAF5Uwz
秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。她慢步於公園大道，有意無意踏在枯葉上。沙沙沙，聽來已然粉身碎骨，看來完好無缺。116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcjCgZARdyS
116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡANsnWbdEWW
「以前未完好。」現在的她說。116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXCdoRdAR8U
116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk1w5rcRQEY
「將來會無缺。」曾經的他說。116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwmb3EWZ3ye
116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBTD610jJrH
她笑了，笑自己傻，笑自己依然沉浸在幻想世界當中，相信自己的人生將來一定會變得完好無缺。116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxwgr3puuva
116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn5GLlADa0c
明知無人能斷言明天一定會更好。116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE1fwuCCu55
116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhzl0n1FEOP
奈何人總需要一個努力的原因、一個繼續活下去的原因。116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWQLSFBUkFE
116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEneJz4yHHA
那個原因名為「希望」。116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSfFlYbbNUg
116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrUSyuZ1lWq
「我定要繼續努力。」現在的她說。116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiidHmE2PBS
116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjdxuBUgZli
「好好活下去吧。」曾經的他說。116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLguR5jsND5
116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUYfWpCZxAp
秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPn9yVg5UHd
116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8fxroZayrC
她慢步於公園大道，放眼欣賞沿路風景，不再留意地上的枯葉。
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》
ns 15.158.61.6da2
