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Chapter 7~ Home
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We had to move stealthily until we’d find privacy. The air quickly turned cold and the darkness was growing quite intense. However, none of that seemed to bother Constantine. She moved like a shadow, creeping around every corner as if she was hunting an animal half her size. The only noise was the gentle creaks of our footsteps and the raunchy carousing in the brothel next door. In the quiet, all these new questions came to me. I needed them answered. Last I saw of Constantine, she could hardly stand, yet, there she was walking around as if she’d never experienced Thomas Tew’s torture at all. And why the bloody hell was she there in the first place? Cochin was such a small village and so far from Bombay. And why was she dressed so…nice? Nicer than what we were provided with before. These questions burned in the back of my head as well as some other…uncomfortable aching in other places. I needed a moment of peace and sense.
“Love,” I said quietly.
“What?”
“There’s no one here, let’s go back. I—”
The front door of the shop opened, and the bell above the door tinkled. We held silent and still. Large feet marched around the front of the store. Someone was here. The person rattled around in shelves and drawers, searching for something. Constantine slid her hand back over her blade. Like a lion, she was ready to pounce.
“Wait,” I whispered. But, I was too late.
Constantine burst out from behind a shelf, pointing the dagger, and shouting, “Stop there.”
A yelp and a hard bang came from behind a desk. And a fat, old man appeared, rubbing the back of his head in pain. He had aged white skin and peppery hair balding on his head but sprouting nicely from his beard and mustache. He wore round spectacles high on his face that reflected back moony, dark eyes. The man dressed in a clean shirt, waistcoat, and firm trousers. He kept softly smacking his lips and blinking through the pain.
“What the devil, Margaret?! You could’ve killed me, you know,” he grumbled.
Constantine hid away her dagger. “Oh, Mr. Fellows, I had no idea it was you. Forgive me, please.” She rushed over to his side, helping him out from behind the desk.
“No need for apologies. I’m not dead yet,” he chuckled. He smiled kindly at Constantine then noticed me. He paused to adjust his glasses.
“Why, Margaret, who is this young man?”
She returned to my side, trying to convey some unspoken message with just her eyes. “Oh, this is…Laurence…Woolstone. He’s an old friend of mine who's come to visit—just for a few days. Then, he’ll be gone.”
I squinted at her. “We will?” A hard, nasty pinch struck the back of my arm, and I squealed, “I will! Mr. Fellows, is it? A pleasure to meet you, sir.” I shook his hand and he nodded.
“That sounds quite nice. Will you be staying with us, Laurence?”
“No,” Constantine butted in, “He’ll be staying with a relative of his on the other side of the village. His aunt.”
“Well, it is nice to see Margaret with friends, especially with your kind. I’ll be upstairs reading if you need anything. Goodnight, Margaret.”
“Goodnight, sir.”
As soon as the man was out of sight, I spoke up. “What was that all about? What did he mean by ‘my kind’?”
“He means because you’re a man. I haven’t exactly been making friends with other men like he expects me to, for obvious reasons.”
“I see. Just one more question, what the bloody hell is going on?”
Constantine smiled and took my hand. “Follow me.”
I was led up a staircase to the upstairs above the bookshop. I quickly discovered this was less of a home and more of a nest. Hundreds of books occupied the empty spaces of nearly every room. Old Indian tapestries hung from the walls as well as framed drawings and maps. This place wasn’t in near shambles like the rest of the village. In fact, it was rather quaint. I was led away from the walls and into a small nook of a room. There, books piled in every corner and atop every surface. A small but neatly-made bed stood in the corner and a long, moth-eaten quilt draped off the side of it. Chests and shelves sat along the walls. Some spilled out clothes. The room was alive with warm candlelight. And across from the bed was a large window overlooking the ocean. The stars spilled out across the sky, the moon as large as God himself. But, the sea…it was a whole different universe out there. I’d never seen it like this before.
Constantine moved to the window and touched the glass, right where the waves lapped upon the docks.
“I used to just stand here all night sometimes. I dreamed I might see you again, sailing back here to take me away.”
Gently, I touched her shoulder and took her hand from the window. “What happened, love? Why are you here?”
She slipped away towards an open chest and dug out an old, crinkled letter. Written there were threats all directed at Constantine herself.
“A few months after you’d gone, after I’d stopped hearing from you, I got letters like these. Almost every week. Someone in Bombay had figured out who I really was—someone my father had royally pissed off. I got scared. I was having to sell off things in the house to make ends meet. I had no clue if you were dead or alive, and I couldn’t stay to find a knife to my throat one night. So, I took what money was left and bought transportation to Kolhapur where I heard I might find work. But, I was being followed. I tried Huballi, Mangaluru, and Mysuru, but they all knew who I was and forced me out. Then, I found Cochin. Work was good and not hard to find. And no one knew of my father’s parenthood.”
She looked down and straightened out her dress. Some sort of shame had suddenly crossed her face.
“I—um, was viciously terrorized for awhile by this woman in town, Madam Uttam. She’s one of the most powerful members of the community.”
Constantine pointed to the whorehouse just beside us.
“She runs the brothel over there. A feisty woman she is. When I came here, I had no knowledge of her or how she welcomed outsiders. But, I soon learned. She cornered me every opportunity she could get, telling me I wasn’t safe around here and that she could protect me. I only had to…” She shook her head low, starting to lose herself in the story.
“It’s alright, love. Hush,” I hummed, hugging her into me.
She took up both my hands and held them close to her heart.
“I refused every time, but I was starting to get worried. The innkeeper at the inn I stayed at was becoming cruel and impatient with my rent. Madam Uttam used to send these large men to stalk me around wherever I went. I was constantly scared for my life. Every hour of every day. One night when I was walking home, the men came out from nowhere, smashed my crutch, and tried to…tried to attack me. Then, all of a sudden, I saw a light shine from a nearby shop and a man yell from behind. A pistol shot off, and the next thing I knew, the men were gone. It was him, Mr. Fellows, who saved me.”
She smiled and threw off her cloak onto a pile of books. She continued, “He owns the shop. Been running it for ten years now. He was so kind to me, took me in, and gave me my own room. All he asked for in return was a helping hand around the shop, my company, and the truth.”
“The truth?” I asked.
“Well, of course, I couldn’t tell him everything. So, I told him my name was Margaret, like in Bombay, remember? I said I’d ran away from home to escape my terrible father, and I was penniless and all alone. So, I guess I hadn’t lied too much. Anyway, Mr. Fellows is a kind man who became widowed long ago and inherited a great deal of money from his wife and her family. He opened this shop and has lived quite carelessly for years. I took his offer, and he treated me like the daughter he’d never had. Look!”
She lifted her skirt to her knees. I stared. Her leg—it was fixed! Constantine glowed with joy like I hadn’t seen in years.
“I can walk again! Not perfectly, but well enough. I can run a little and even dance and swim! Edmund, isn’t that amazing?”
“It’s a miracle,” I cried, taking her face in my hands, “Couldn’t be happier for you, love.”
Then, she rested her hands on top of my own and pecked my lips with a small kiss.
“I just felt in control again. He paid for the surgery—everything! And for my ribs, too! There was nothing I could ever do to repay him so.”
“Sounds like you’ve had quite the adventure.”
“Oh, not only that,” she continued, scurrying over to a desk and retrieving a stack of paper, scribbled on in messy, black handwriting, “I’m telling my story.”
I took the manuscript and read the title, “The Bastard Girl?”
“It’s an autobiography. I’ll publish under a false name, of course. I just felt I had gone through too much—seen too much—to keep quiet. Mr. Fellows taught me all he knew about writing and publishing. He thinks I could become a writer.”
She looked so happy and hopeful. Yet, it caused a dark pit to form in my stomach. Why did I feel so upset?
“That’s wonderful news. I didn’t know you were so happy in my absence.”
Her smile fell and her gaze narrowed. With all the seriousness in the world, she said, “I was far from happy, Edmund. Don’t misunderstand me. I was burdened constantly. A dark cloud hung over my head. I had to find a good reason to climb out of that bed every morning. I felt empty every single moment of the day, and I figured if you were dead then I should be too. But, I could never bring myself to actually do it. I hated you, and, at the same time, needed you more than anything. I thought I was nothing without my legs. I was wrong, Edmund. I’m nothing without you.”
I brought my face down and pressed my forehead to hers. Her hands clutched mine tight and lovingly. She pulled me down to a kiss, nothing like before. This was tender, gentle. Her lips lingered, barely brushing mine, and sent rigid tingles down my spine.
“I never want to lose this,” I said, nearly engulfed entirely in her, “I won’t ever let you go again.”
She smiled through closed eyes and brushed her thumbs against my cheekbones. I felt my eyes fall shut, and, all of a sudden, I was lost completely. But, one thought rang in the back of my mind like a warming childhood memory.
I was home.
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Soft, slow, warm. Rebirth.
Thick, rich quilts draped across my chest. Fat, cushioned mattress underneath me. A warm body right there. Black-rooted curls in hillsides of white. Light streaming across blankets and warming my eyelids. Toes, moving. Legs, wrapped around mine. Drifting me closer in. Lavender and soap perfuming from the left side of my world. A soft hiss as things begin to appear again. Sunlight. Rebirth.
She spoke soft, in a voice that I hadn’t heard in years. Her eyes stared up at the ceiling—no, through it. I wondered if she was watching God.
“Sometimes, I think I might already be dead and this is all just some vision of my afterlife, of what might’ve been.”
She raised up her naked, silky white arms and held two fingers toward the heavens, holding onto something. “Only, I can’t decide if I’m in heaven or hell.”
I suddenly found the energy coursing through my muscles and I climbed on top of her frame, letting my free hand snatch both of hers and hold them back above her head. Her breath froze and her inviting eyes were stitched to mine.
She sucked in a quick breath before whispering, “Heaven it is.”
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The morning turned amber. We walked down the stairs. She was very quiet for a while. And, I began to remember all that had happened that night.
“What time is it?”
“Half-past six.”
“Bloody hell, Kidd will be awake any minute.”
“They’ll keep him occupied a little while longer.”
I had told her everything. Of the journey, the capture of the ship, Kidd, and exactly why I was here in the first place. But, most importantly, the things Kidd knew about my family.
No one was home downstairs. Constantine said Mr. Fellows must still be sleeping. At the front of the shop, she went behind the counter and removed a small wooden chest. From a key hidden above the door frame, she unlocked it and lifted the lid. But her hands refused to move any further. I peered inside. It was gold. A lot of gold.
“What are you doin’?” I said, keeping a careful eye on her hands.
“I…I don’t know.” She just stared at the contents, frozen stiff, “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do anymore. What’s supposed to happen now?”
I took her hands in mine and pulled her face away from the chest.272Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8PH9tlihXx
“I’m not leavin’ you, remember? I promised you.”
She shook her head. “It’s not that simple, Edmund. Kidd knows you’re here. He knows you’re in town. You can’t just stay here. Besides, if he knows you’ve escaped, he’ll burn this village to the ground. You have to go—”
“No. There’s no way in hell I’m gettin’ back on that bloody ship. If I leave you again, lass, I’m not sure I’ll ever see you again.”
She forcefully took my face in her hands. “There is nothing else keeping you here. You need to find out about your family. I can’t give you that, Edmund. Not here.”
Just then, a brilliant idea struck me.
“Come with me,” I said.
“What?”
“Come with me, Constantine. I can’t leave you. Not again. I’d rather Kidd fire a bullet into my skull. Come with me and we can find some way off together.
She looked down at the floorboards. Something held her back. And, suddenly, this became my greatest wish.
“I can’t just leave—”
“Yes, you can!”
“Mr. Fellows has given me so much already, Edmund. It would be wrong. And, I don’t know if I can go back to pirates.”
“What choice do we have?! I go back to that monster, alone, and find out information on a part of my life I left behind years ago. You stay here, miserable and alone for god knows how long. I can’t do that.”
I sighed and held her trembling hands. I could feel my throat clenching. Her eyes fell to the floor yet again.
“We weren’t meant to be apart, love. From the moment I knew you, I never wanted to be without you. Everywhere we go, life seems to royally fuck us. And it won’t get easier. I don’t know if it ever will. We’ve both lost so much, so fast. But…I can’t lose you again.”
Constantine looked at me, eyes wet and tired. But her hands had stopped shaking. She kissed me softly. Her fingers brushed the soft on my cheek. And when she pulled away, she seemed stronger, ready.
“Okay,” she replied with a small, secret smile. “Let’s do this.”
I grinned and latched my hand in hers. I felt the band of her engagement ring through the fingers and suddenly remembered why I was fighting. Why we were fighting.
“Together.”
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