Chapter 13~ Win the Battle…
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There was a thumping sound all around us. No, not thumping…pounding. The hiss of the wind against the thick, wooden walls rattled each nail and splinter till I thought they might burst free. It happened in an instant—quicker than an instant! A massive force hit the ship and rocked us to the right side. I stumbled to the floor and scurried back to my feet. But, Kidd had taken the opportunity to swat my gun away and fly to his feet. He snatched up a sword from a nearby spot on the wall. I tore out Reyes’s dagger I kept hidden in the waist of my trousers. When Kidd saw, he chuckled and pointed the sword to my face.
“You’ll never find her—”
“Like hell! You’re going to lead me straight to her, you snake!”
I caught his first attack with a sudden fire in my right arm. I pushed him back with sudden strength. I could feel myself breathing flames. I dodged his next hit and fought him back towards his desk. Then, there came another pounding from the outside. We were shot suddenly to the left. I glanced around for my gun, but it was nowhere in sight.
Kidd lunged at me with a hideous grunt and raised arms. I leapt to the side and caught his next blow across the hand. My palm stung furiously and blood began filling in the clean cut. I couldn’t lose focus.
I struck him back but only hit the steel of the medals on his coat. Kidd shoved me back as we were both knocked to the right. This time, I lunged back at Kidd and landed a blow to his shoulder. He howled in pain. A dark patch appeared on his arm and he dropped his sword. I kicked it to the side and held the authority once again.
“You’re done, Kidd.”
I knew the way this was destined to end. But, I couldn’t—we had a plan, remember? I could carry this on no longer.
“I won’t kill you,” I continued, “Not today, at least.”
“I have fifty men out there now who’d readily slit your throat in your sleep if I so asked,” he hissed back.
He was right. There was no reason to entertain this fight any longer. Yet, I still held the dagger strong.
“In that case, I propose a little arrangement. When we arrive to Madagascar, you will give me Gretchen’s location. In exchange, I’ll let you live. Agreed?”
Kidd grit his teeth. I knew he was just hoping for another rocking of the ship.
Then, he said something I hadn’t quite expected, “I’m not a monster.”
At the time—I’m certain—I’d merely brushed off the comment as some weak form of begging. But, I’d be lying to say I hadn’t seen something. I couldn’t tell—was this weakness or his way of manipulation? Or perhaps something else? Whatever it was was no concern to me whilst deciding the fate of this scoundrel.
“Agreed?” I said louder.
He paused but finally relented. I ushered him to stand and he did. I moved back towards the door with my dagger still pointed at his chest.
“I will leave here. Then, we’re done. I’m no longer your apprentice or companion or whatever the hell this all was. You were dead to me the second you stole my ship. And you mean nothin’ to me now. Do not try to speak to me in any sense. I want no part of your future. I want my fuckin’ sister, and that’s it, you deluded son-of-a-bitch.”
I spat at his feet and left the cabin, slamming the door behind me.
All at once, I began to realize the attachment I’d formed with Kidd—not on purpose, obviously. He’s a snake, I kept repeating back to myself. But, most of all, I could not believe how ignorant I’d become. I was blinded by the sense that maybe he was just gruesome on the outside of his shell. I bought every single story—his drunkard father, his happy wife and home, his friendship with Gretchen. I let myself feed straight into it.
I slammed my foot into the railing besides me and cursed at myself.
“Such a fool,” I grumbled.
I could hardly imagine what the next few weeks would be like. One thing was for certain—we’d never find peace. There would always be some disaster, adventure, or battle pulling bits of us apart until we’d been spread across every continent, every inch of the sea. I couldn’t understand it—what was so wrong with settling and staying happy? Why couldn’t we get that?
A pulling on my arm shook my thoughts away. I yanked back my arm and turned. Reyes. He was worried. Something was wrong.
“Come now,” he rushed, pulling my arm again, “Constantine. She fell.”
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I pushed past the onlookers to reach her. From what Reyes tried desperately to explain, often falling back in his native tongue, Constantine had been pulling rigging with the others. She’d been turning paler and paler by the minute but assured Reyes she was fine. I didn’t need the rest of the story. We found her near the middle of the deck, hunched over and coughing up the last bits of vomit. Reyes moved everyone back, bringing his voice to an ungodly level of alarm. But, I only saw her. Constantine was pale, as before, and clutching her stomach. Her hands trembled and tears trickled down her cheeks. I wasted no time hauling her into my arms. A path was cleared, and we retreated back to her bed. Reyes rushed to her side and quickly whispered something in her ear. I didn’t understand this—any of it.
“What can I do?” was all I could say. But, we both knew the answer.
She shook her head and wiped away a tear.
“It’s not what you can do. It’s what you’ve done already.”
What? I shook my head. What could I have done?
“I haven’t had my blood for two months.”
I stared back, still lost.
“Edmund,” she said, softly. She took my hands. “I think I’m pregnant.”
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“Pregnant?”
What did she say? Why was there a loud buzzing in my left ear?
She nodded and looked at Reyes. “Reyes has been helping me with the sickness and the thirst. I couldn’t have gotten this far on my own.”
Reyes tried to smile but saw my face and shied away.
“Pregnant…”
“Yes, I know it’s—”
“Pregnant?”
“Edmund…”
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She took ahold of my face and pulled my eyes to meet hers. But, I backed away. My chest kept rising and falling. I couldn’t breathe…
“How—how? Pregnant? How?”
Constantine tried standing a bit then—nauseated—slowly went back down. Reyes held tight onto the blanket beside her. I had to help. But, I couldn’t hear anything but this goddamned buzzing! Constantine kept her eyes to the floor.
“Cochin. It must’ve been in Cochin. I didn’t know…I should’ve…”
I suddenly found myself at her side, taking her hands. She cried softly, to herself.
“Constantine…please don’t cry. Please.”
But she did. She struggled over heaving sobs and a tightening throat. How could she breathe? What was happening to us?
“What the hell are we going to do, Edmund? I can’t raise a babe, especially not here.”
As she said all these things, I knew—deep down—I knew this wasn’t to be a curse upon our already miserable lives. This was how the story went. This was new, untrodden territory. It would be scary, unknown, dangerous, and beautiful.
I squeezed her hands just a bit tighter and wiped away a tear. She blinked away tears to see me underneath it all.
“This isn’t the end, Constantine. This is exactly what we’ve wanted since we first met. A new beginnin’…A new life. Maybe it didn’t come in the way we imagined it, but what then? Just because somethin’ is new doesn’t mean it’s scary. And this—” I placed a hand over her stomach and held her soft gaze. “This is an adventure waitin' for us. And,” I held back my tongue trying to twist my words, “I couldn’t be more excited.”
“I can’t be a mother, Edmund. I know nothing about taking care of another person. I’m reckless and irresponsible—”
“Which is exactly what would make you an incredible mother. You have so much love to give. You’re nurturin’, kind, and patient.”
But, she shook her head. She didn’t believe me.
“Constantine,” I ground out, louder, fiercer than before. She noticed with dewdrop lashes and melting eyes. “Everythin’, from The Amity to Bombay, from Cape Town to Cochin, every bit of it has just been leadin’ up to now. To this moment when we face our biggest test. All the pain, sufferin', and fear has molded us into tougher, more resilient versions of us that we didn’t even know could be possible.”
I smiled and touched her cheek. “I am who I am today because of you, just as you are because of me. We have never truly walked alone. And, neither will this child. Because, this child will have grown up with parents who fought for each other and with each other, every step of the way. There is no fear for us anymore—because we give each other courage. There is no loneliness, no heartache, no want. We are for each other, till the very end.”
Constantine smiled and wrapped her hand around mine. She was still crying, only now from a different place. I was scared, I admitted it to myself. But, there was no doubt in my mind of a single word I’d said. Life becomes more difficult just as it becomes more interesting and adventurous. Sometimes we lose a battle; Other times we win a war. And happiness would not just fall into our laps one day. It was our job—now, our responsibility—to carve it out of the sky. It doesn’t get easier. It never does. We’d both been set up for failure from the very start. Nevertheless, to say we’d gotten as far as we had was triumphant in a way. Win a battle…
It doesn’t get easier. But, we were up for the challenge.
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