I think I have been suffering from insomnia since the day I got to know about Phoebus being Bella’s boyfriend. It was indeed a difficult night to spend alone thinking about both the men who have asked me out but still I felt it would be better to go with Amor than to go with Phoebus since I am almost at the end of my way to get over him. That would be good for all of us, me, Bella and Phoebus. If they continue their relationship for a longer time and ever have plans to have a baby, i will definitely be a good aunt who regrets stepping back but anything for Bella. She is the most important person in my life.
I will always choose Bella before any boy, even if it is Phoebus himself.
Amor seems to be a learned dancer which I am definitely not. What if he rejects me after knowing that? How will I tell him?242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHm4B1VDvNj
I stood in front of the mirror and made myself understand that he has not asked me to dance with him yet in the language that I know. He should not know that I was that curious about knowing what he said to me last time. I might keep a copy with me and write all the words he says in Spanish, obviously the spellings won't be correct since I never paid attention in the class when they used to teach us Spanish in high school. I realised that if I ever paid attention in that class, I would be communicating to Amor in Spanish only.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeHcSQ1VTuh
I went to college, seeing Amor standing outside the college, looking again and again at his watch. I think he was waiting for someone. I tried acting like I didn't see him but he stopped me.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX1Dkvc1Iig
“You remember you wanted to do something as an apology for your behaviour that other day?”
I wish I could say no but my expression changed as if he could understand that I was lying.
“Yes, sir.” I said.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNtxwI2RlZy
“No sir. I have told you a lot of times. At least not outside the college.” He said and I nodded.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS5WcqqIHwO
“I said something in Spanish and I think you did not understand.”242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4F5cEapQ0s
I wish I could tell him that I already knew.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtGiMgb0Ce6
“It means dance with me. So, daphne I don't know why I am feeling weird but let me put it straight. Will you dance with me?” He continued after a pause, “You do not have the pressure of accepting my proposal. I will be waiting. It's just a small family function where I need you to act like my girlfriend and dance with me. Just for a few hours. Think about it.” He left after saying that.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH94WQdMQ89
He left me in deep thought. It's not just a dance but also to act like his girlfriend in front of his family. I really don't know how to dance. What if I made a bad impression on them?242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa2ulzUxgcY
I really needed time to think. I sorted things a few minutes ago and again it came back to the time when I started thinking about whom to choose.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMe339ZeLAO
All day I kept thinking about it. I do not remember anything that happened in the class or with me after entering college.
I went to Amor.
“I will come with you.” I said. I can do anything.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbIs5QXg1jd
His face brightened.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO4nM5vUzZv
“Thank you, Daphne. It means a lot to me. The party is this weekend.” He said with a wide smile.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaFEwBgBiyF
I nodded once and went back towards my home.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNoCUuZCNrT
I did accept his proposal but I need to ask for permission from my parents too. What will I tell them?242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7vPReQjLuC
I kept practising the things I needed to tell my parents.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwrP3Kq3nsS
“I need to act like a girlfriend of my professor just for an event.” I murmured.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDdqd1v0Tv6
No, this does not sound good. I need something that will make them accept it instantly. Maybe I can use Phoebus. My mother likes him but what if he comes to my home. I can't even tell him about the dance thing, he might feel bad. I can go to dance with him too someday. It's just an act. I can tell them that I have a party for a successful project in college or a birthday party for one of my friends, Bella doesn’t know.
At dinner time, I cleared my throat before speaking and gulped.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1yg7nyXoih
“Hi, my dear family.” I said with a smile.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxjQOvqNVA2
“Hi baby.” said my parents.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9zJQOyoCOa
“What do you need?” Arena said. I looked at her with anger.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4YtHFviq9v
“Obviously, you never speak this politely until you need something. Speak out.” She said.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡard7DOeTrr
“Arena, why do you think like that? Sometimes it's good to greet family unlike you.” My mother said.
I felt sad for my mother thinking like that, well she was right though.
“It is, I know but I know her too.” Arena said instantly.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoP5KdZFjMC
“You think you know me but this time you are wrong so just shut up.” I said.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUYydnkwclO
“Why do you all need to fight at the time of dining? Eat your food.” Father said, half mouth filled with food.
He doesn't like to talk while eating.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCa64YCN7VB
I could not directly ask for permission just because of Arena.
As we were about to end our dinner, I tried to ask them.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA0edJnLy8W
“I had to ask something.”242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGuEv4cZrA4
“See i knew it. I told you.” Arena popped.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ6XJn9NuCa
“Shut up!” I continued, “There is a birthday party for a successful project of one of my friends. ”242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVK7PhoDE2N
“What?” Mother asked.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8PBdqpQvlx
I realised I mixed up things.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjGStbU27UX
“I mean, I need to go to a birthday party of one of my friends this weekend. I needed your permission.” I said.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXRfK8033uY
“Sure you can go.” my father said.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAhGcleObSM
“Is Bella going there too?” Mom asked.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡreIbV9ifGe
“No. Actually you know her. She is socially weird so that girl doesn’t like her thus she won't be there and also don't tell her about it. She doesn't know. She might feel bad.” I said in one flow.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxb7hlyv6eS
Everyone was satisfied with my reason.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQhie8x3BMi
“What about Phoebus? He is going to be there, right?” Mom asked.
“I..uh- I don’t know about his bonding with her. Maybe or maybe not.” I said in a bit of shock because I was not ready for that question.
He should not be there, obviously he won’t be there, it's a family gathering.
I took all my shimmer dresses out, there was none left in the cupboard. Shimmer dresses made me look highlighted but I do not need to be in the spotlight. It's just an act so I should not wear something like that.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4PjDDd9A97
My mother entered, seeing all the mess on the bed.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZO65oHvJkW
“Can’t find something to wear?” She asked.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4e2J1z0cAo
“Uh..no. I neither want to wear something that will make people stare at me nor something very dull. It's a small gathering but with high profile people.” I told her, sitting tired on the bed.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWZQGGtP5bB
“It’s fine, dear. We have bought enough clothes for you that you haven’t worn in years. Use them. I am not going to throw them out unless you use them and they rot.” she said with her arms crossed.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKdBQoEw674
I know she was not sarcastic. I do not wear most of my clothes because I do not go to parties like others but i can't fight with her due to this.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡImCIP3ALgb
“Yes, mom. I am checking them out. What do you think about this black dress?” I asked, standing in front of the mirror. I loved that dress.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm74YKYsJRB
“I would definitely like to sell your black dresses. Don’t you have any other?”242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkXWrrGuQYW
Yes mom, I do. I do not understand her sometimes, it's irritating.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCoAvBdEqZW
I took out my dark blue net gown. This was the most simple and beautiful dress I ever had. The sleeves falling from the shoulder, simply designed with blue threads. I love it!
“You can. You have never worn this. Wear it.” She said and left.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSLLICFp3m
Who will let her know that the gown was bought by her for the wedding of my uncle a few years back which never took place and then I never got to wear it because we never went to such kind of parties.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaDHeIvKqC0
Oh dear mother of mine!242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNgbwNCnhSK
242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxIkOGZU6HI
I was as nervous about the party as I was happy for the weekend. The day had come. I really acted weird that day. My parents were amazed too. They said it was just a birthday party, not my wedding. Who will tell them the truth?
I got ready and planned to meet Amor behind the school. It definitely looked weird that I was walking in a gown that evening. I somehow increased my speed and reached the place he was waiting. For me. No one does.
He was wearing a white suit and the same shade of shirt as my gown, ironic.
“Hermosa!” he said without blinking for a few minutes, looking at me. Again a different language and I guess he has said that before too.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkfRpxDM6ka
“Huh? I am sorry but, frankly, you need to understand the language you say, I do not understand at all. I am from America and you may be from Spain like you speak Spanish most of the time.” I said.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZfgEajXkjd
“You want to know what I said?” He asked, bending a little towards me.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPO81uNe1dk
“Yes. I want to.” I said looking at him.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ04xStzMNQ9
“I said that you look beautiful, a lot. Today.” He said, looking at me, still bending towards me.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHCXsQNrL3q
I gawked a while and in a slow voice asked about him saying the same word the day he went to buy formals for me. He nodded. I blinked and stepped back.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX9YKDrhaNe
“Do I have to know something about your family too? You can teach me something in Spanish, that might help.” I said, clearing my throat.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCa8pWOA9p
“Well I can teach you Spanish a bit in the remaining minutes but my family knows English well. Let's get in the car first.” he opened the car door for me and I sat. I took a deep breath before he could enter the car.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡToSY19Ywg9
He taught me a few basic words in Spanish. I hope I can say them clearly when the time comes. We reached the place. It was huge and amazing, I never thought to visit such a place in my life. He was definitely rich.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8roZZjbyry
“You didn’t tell me about your family. I should know about your family. They might doubt me if I don't.” I said.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWrf9V2AH10
“Sure. I’ll tell you.” He said, getting out of the car.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1P6AFp7iKB
Strange.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRyCYdt7CSj
He opened the door for me and held my hand unlike the last time when I refused to take his help getting out of the car.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuO4LlHRJWF
“I lost my parents years ago. I went to Spain. I came back when my grandfather died, a few months back. I shifted here and joined the college as a professor.” he said while we entered the huge marvellous hall.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkYV8rikwlX
“I am sorry that I mentioned your family.” I said with an apologetic look.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqwzkpExZil
“It’s totally fine. You should know.” he said with a smile.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVdGoyjTLkv
He introduced me to a few of his family members and I greeted them in Spanish but they replied to me in English. I could not believe myself. They looked at me as if they didn’t know the language I spoke, maybe I said it wrong.
I was really enjoying the party. It was an amazing change for once in a while. He stood beside me the whole party.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzWSNHxbSQ0
One of his aunts came and asked, “Where is he?”242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIaozIuQk4Q
“Who?” He asked.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDsepD4qJqf
“Your brother, idiot. Did you forget about him?” She said fiercely.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTbJSldnk5g
“Oh, how would I know? You know us very well.”242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX1jllmcPLI
“I don't know what to do about you both. Why are you boring her by standing? Go dance. The floor is yours. Enjoy!” She said rubbing my back.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4bpadVRS60
He stood in front of me and asked me to dance with him in Spanish. This time even if I didn’t know the meaning, I could understand the actions.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiFph3UtQRy
“Amor. I had to tell you something.” I hesitated.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYC3YZn7nBn
“What?” he asked, concerned.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrkcTBaNAnz
“I don’t know how to dance. I am sorry for not telling you about it earlier.” I said.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWmv7UTRIM5
He laughed and grabbed my hand with both of his palms and said, “Just follow me. Everything will be fine.”242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9BW5Ut3PGi
We went to the dance floor. He told me to lose myself as much as possible. He made me feel comfortable and I was dancing like a pro. He was right. Again!242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYgVkYTpWn5
“You have a brother?” I asked him while dancing with his hands on my waist and mine on his shoulders.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPtg4gYw9N7
“Yes. A younger brother.”242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQH6Uvtyt45
“That’s nice. He stays with you?”242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjFr9wgNmiP
“Yeah but we are not on good terms. He doesn’t like me and that goes both ways. We are used to it. I do not interfere with his life and he does the same.” He said, looking away.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡujt4lP33kC
I nodded slightly and continued to dance.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxr6Phtq4wU
We were really enjoying the dance until I saw him.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE7qiZCXIcH
“Phoebus!” I shockingly said, pushing Amor back.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEgIS6SNp24
Phoebus was there. Looking at me. He was far but I could see the pain in his eyes. I stepped towards him but Amor stopped me.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUgQGg3GGu
“What are you doing?” he asked.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiS54OKDpbl
“Amor, I saw Phoebus. He’s here.” I said.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3Pfu9qpDo
“Yes, he is my brother. He has to be here.” He said.
“He’s your brother? Is this a joke?” I frowned.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHjFDo6vxMj
“You are saying as if it’s a big deal.” He said.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpXoSHpDkjq
“Amor, do you understand what you are saying right now? He is your brother and you didn’t tell me about this earlier. Why?” I shouted.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWIMcfF8kDK
Everyone was looking at us.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDsmlZI0MR4
“What are you doing Daphne? Everyone is looking at us.” he said, coming near me.
I pushed him back.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcoS3jHVRh5
“I don’t care.” I said and ran from that hall, following Phoebus.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZv17y2KNOw
The pain I saw in his eyes was not explainable. He might be sad because I didn’t tell him about me coming with Amor or maybe because I didn’t reply to him about his dance proposal but went with Amor instead. I don’t know but all I know was I had hurt him. I ran in the heels just to find him.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡflwhmMcL3B
Sequence of questions kept running in my mind.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe9y2Oo0k1d
How can Phoebus be the brother of Amor? They are related this close yet no one let others know about it, why?242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfpCjf4ZxP1
He was sitting, facing down near the footpath, in the dark just like he did in the park the other day. He was hurt about something then too.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4nCGex34QW
I went near him.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO6a8jGev5s
“Phoebus, I am sorry. I know I have hurt you. I didn't know he was your brother. Sorry.” I hugged him as he started sobbing.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJh4zs58gol
The man who always made me smile in any form was crying because of me that day.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3FRW2JExMD
“I am sorry.” I cupped his face, wiping his tears.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡROcvLri4E2
“Why him?” He asked and I had no answer to that question.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWBtZBWjuMK
“His name is not even Amor.” He said.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡewPxznuwDN
I asked his real name.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNolkwVoWg
He said, “Ares. His name is Ares. He had to run far from home because he was involved in drug peddling. He ran to Spain and years after he found out that I shifted here so even he came back to the country. All I wanted was to start a simple peaceful life but I can’t just because of him Daphne.”242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqnJZS33AV6
Ares? The boy who made my sister’s life miserable? The man due to whom we had to leave our home?242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTEnT3zRPuJ
“But you said you were from Delaware, right? You are from there then- then how…how?” I held both of his shoulders, showering the questions altogether at him.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOmAIJgHe75
“Yes, we are from Delaware. Our father worked in New Jersey, we lived there. After my parents’ death, I found Ares was involved in drug peddling. I complained about it to the police. He and others involved in it were arrested. I heard Ares ran to Spain after some days. I lived in Delaware with my grandfather until he died a few months back. I wanted to start a new life so I came here but he came back in my life, bringing all the terrors I had in the past. Since then he has wanted to hurt me.” he cried holding me tight.
Phoebus is the brother of someone who has messed up with my sister’s life, my family’s life.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4kTeroyudw
He continued, “Don’t you understand all he did was just to hurt me. He is using you.”242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTDOdhXIPNG
I was blanked. Whatever he was saying was incomprehensible to me.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqfjoTCC8Z7
“Why me?” I asked him.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzFSNM8I0FB
“Because I love you. I love you.” He said.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI4IXPT2gti
Everything stopped for me at that moment. I didn’t know the way to process the thing I have been waiting to hear for months. He loves me?242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ETZZJTWgk
“What the hell Phoebus? You are the boyfriend of my best friend. Did you get that? Stop saying such things.” I pushed him back.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiC9Mov6mpW
“Daphne, listen to me. I fell in love with you at first sight.” He said.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDSYLz5TvH9
“Stop it, I said. You are Bella’s boyfriend.” I kept walking back.242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwoi2Co6lC1
He said, "I could have but I found you...you, Daphne" my name from his mouth felt as soft as Bruno Mars's Just the Way You Are.
Bunch of personalities inside my head except the one I showed on my face screamed buss! I kept looking at his lips while he kept saying something until I felt warmth on my face. He was close, so so close. One could cross the ocean and travel through the forest through his eyes or could be stuck there forever if they wanted to. And I want to. Fuck! He's driving me crazy. I... I can't do this with Bella.
I pushed him back but my foot twisted and I was about to fall. I felt a force against gravity and I was surrounded with warmth, his arms. He squeezed me into his arms as if he was scared of me getting hurt.
“I can’t promise to never hurt you but I can’t let others hurt you too. I know the reason behind your denial. We’ll get out of this situation. We will. Once you know the truth.” I could feel his hot breath as he whispered into my ear.
Wait. We? Truth? What is the truth?
I looked into his eyes with a question, was he going to ditch on my friend with me? Oh god, no he can’t!
I pushed him back and ran without saying a word.
More than us, us? me and him, I was scared of losing Bella. She is my childhood friend with same ambition and more than our family gathering gossips, I am used to her stupid unstoppable talks.
242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXUTO2ltSZl
Dear Diary,242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0t4ArdCL3f
I hope you don’t but,242Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyDm394eFVW
do you feel whatever I am doing is wrong?
