我是季妍，出版界筆耕多年的小小插畫家一枚。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWQAPNURWPc
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWtmGgezgJ
我熱愛我的工作，作畫迅速從不拖稿的我，筆耕之餘還在家裡開了繪畫教室騙騙小朋友，幾年下來，事業小成的我有了幾個足以讓我膨脹的稱號---出版界稱我“季快手”，學生叫我季老師…418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOy6Pyytvt3
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCvvkYlVmU
但，這些，都不及我另一個稱號來得“響亮”。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWfhgB1ccvq
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUKYIGAcAFY
這個稱號是婆婆取的，她叫我~~“無~蛋~雞”~~~418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWwTCrwVQgX
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaypJXjJHsp
是的，你沒聽錯，因為在她眼中，我就是隻生不出蛋的老母雞。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfaT1kSAV0Z
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRtYpaI8toz
也許是怕我日子太無聊了吧，老天爺給了我一個全世界最棒的老公，卻又買一送一的附贈了個機車婆婆，結婚三年來，生不出半顆蛋的我早已被她嫌到十八層地獄，偏偏她老人家想盡辦法就是無法把我從“楊昕然老婆”的位置踢下來，因為她兒子超疼老婆…418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg7VJN9459Z
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡACpDKGoIlq
呵~~~你看她煩不煩哪！418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGS53rb3K5g
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaibxe7BaAk
媳婦的肚子沒動靜，兒子又越來越“老”（明明才32歲），眼看楊家就要斷子絕孫了，婆婆的焦慮越來越嚴重，於是她開始檢討我敷不出蛋的可能原因……418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGgYefLeUKZ
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc2javKICAu
吃冰、吹冷氣……好，我改。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvh2q94CffO
熬夜……對，我的錯。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr8SmMy9X8C
使用便宜水彩顏料……便宜？一盒幾千418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3i0dMarGi7
的“林布蘭特”？418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUblCRe04Gj
呼吸的空氣有毒……好吧，我可以不呼418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX6qzGdqQBb
吸了……418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkOIW2WUwMU
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGlmZ0qWKFF
總而言之，親愛的婆婆把所有生不出孩子的原因都歸到我身上，偏偏怪東怪西就是不怪她兒子…有一次她親愛的兒子終於看不下去了…418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhEGWgrlgPd
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGMzGfsd2RA
「搞不好是我的精子有問題啊」，楊昕然先生說。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZYANISYlKR
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnE9JTfmbxY
「胡說，我們楊家的精子怎麼會有問題」，婆婆嚴厲否認。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkX3RL0y6ad
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4G9x5PpxAl
噢，對了，說到精子，我老公是窩在手機堆裡寫APP程式的程式設計師。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDycKeKB5D9
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfuGiDMhNaB
所以他的精子“絕對”沒問題。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡieiT1m7xBN
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBiHJuJEKfK
唉~寶貝兒子沒有錯，生不出蛋的媳婦趕不走，婆婆的日子簡直沒法過了。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3jpZOgZh1r
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhVabYkl1TY
怎麼辦？418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeVrZBL9SJD
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7STRyO4C13
能怎麼辦？…只好叫媳婦多多“努力”囉！418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrIZXpdJzfj
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnpy59zfvpm
於是，親愛的婆婆天天督促我，天天督促我，電台賣的成藥我當飯吃、全臺灣的乩童都成了婆婆的FB好友，對婆婆來說，乩童的話就是聖旨，乩童叫我做什麼我都得照做……為此我吞了香灰、喝了符水、嚐遍了你想像不到的噁心東西…418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡag9bklIJGJ
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRw5rZu9QOd
但，這麼“乖巧”的我，那天還是爆發了…418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3jqzoMUVId
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZSMETXkN3m
因為婆婆叫我去跪“她娘家”的祖先！418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHjh2A220VT
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6wydLkEXmA
「為什麼我得去跪妳媽的（ps:這不是髒話）祖先」？…我心頭一驚。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHOGfZ37b4i
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8GfMzsiJF6
「大師說妳祖先得罪我娘家祖先，所以祖先不要妳的種」，婆婆舒適的窩在客廳沙發上削著我剛買回來的西洋梨，「除非你向我娘家祖先下跪道歉，不然」…418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpbYJr9wOJw
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLOzIy8AB3
「下跪道歉」？418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAqDxOGIr9m
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNXBK8B3n6t
「沒錯」，婆婆繼續削梨子，「所以明天妳跟我回」…418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMngmFerq2t
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9VPmsWczAw
「~！…、☆○＞□＾」…418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRdz58YsRYZ
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjcdSklzSwu
不知是不是方才喝的水果啤酒太上頭了，明明早已對婆婆的刻薄言語“免疫”的我，竟然被區區幾句話惹火了，於是，當婆婆終於消滅了難纏的梨子皮，準備享受她的勞動成果…的前一秒，我突然伸手搶走她的梨子…418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJAK4oPD71
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrXxNJNBBpf
「接下來還有什麼」？我紅著眼問。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzObv9Uuejl
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjfpBw1bfT8
「蛤」？這是我嫁入楊家以來第一次對婆婆發飆，可能是不習慣這樣的我吧，婆婆完全愣住了。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1QLki0Uuz6
　　418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKViThIgWB3
「我說…接下來妳還要怎麼“玩”我」？418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOg75KM4KYz
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNl482ac9s6
「什麼“玩”妳」？婆婆盯著被我搶走的梨子，一臉的莫名，「我還不是為妳好」…418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR3PM2GDc9o
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLRACvena8D
「為我好」？我氣笑了，「原來逼我喝符水吃香灰吃到拉肚子是為我好」…我咬牙切齒的用梨子指著婆婆…的鼻子，「摸摸良心吧！如果今天安然生不出來妳會這樣對她嗎」？418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ktdjETRwk
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIiZ6v5u7EH
PS:楊安然---昕然的妹妹，某私立大學夜間部學生，楊家的寶貝，也是婆婆絕不能踩的大地雷…418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvs8pmXK271
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0nf7Oy49Gm
但此刻氣瘋的我竟然踩下去了！418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfrHDtqIJbY
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg3CDlHgwVD
「妳…妳這隻無蛋雞」！婆婆果不其然的…炸了，她憤然站起，把我手中的梨子搶去狠砸在地，「妳敢詛咒我女兒跟妳一樣沒蛋！妳…妳給我滾出去」！418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoWaeT60RwD
　　418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Pr08nPyxY
「為什麼我要滾」？我叉腰繼續做死，「這裡是我家耶」！418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIXU5QQftmN
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgYHuSkp2D
是的，這間位於碧潭河畔三房一廳的小屋是我和老公浪漫的家，我的婆家“遠”在五十公尺外，但我忘了婆婆是老公最親愛的老媽，更忘了婆婆是個多麼愛演的老太太。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0e05oJ9Zyz
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe3DgDdNg9v
「妳…」…罵著罵著，婆婆竟然一屁股坐在地上嚎啕大哭起來~「嗚嗚~~我是造了什麼孽啊！年輕的時候為楊家做牛做馬，好不容易當了婆婆，還要被媳婦糟蹋」…418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNZWvFwtmZ0
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBYlhfNjQvn
「媽」…唉…又來了…418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡow3PacBQAD
　　418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJbdhPUTPA0
我無奈的揉揉眉心，一邊讚嘆婆婆的“演技”，只是……這裡只有我和婆婆，她能演給誰看？418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa5d3uQoT4D
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Mhr7X6UVr
咦…不對……418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEljir3mmDT
　　418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdds80BWGwO
我看了看電視上方的大圓鐘…418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1d6J5F1Jxr
　　418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhhlwJpedzR
呵…果然…老公接安然放學快到家了。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkR5FpuB2HC
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxWMXrQfMY0
「我的命怎麼這麼苦啊…嗚嗚嗚」…418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxs4ejCbMvm
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbyo6aUvb4V
我無奈的看著眼前演得興起的婆婆，孝順的兒女快回來了，而苦命的母親還坐在地板上哭天搶地，可想而知，幾分鐘後這個家會有多“熱鬧”。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡptdPvrTA8A
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Q90ll9xtj
「唉」…我忍不住歎氣…唉…又是這樣…418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEHD3ySBMag
　　418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9vnrjjbZFk
我很清楚如何避免即將到來的衝突…418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGAAqp2588I
　　418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqLAKEvjI9M
不就是答應去跟“她媽的”祖先下跪道歉嗎？418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ0M5XI8bO9
　　418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4XAmYsmEN
下跪，簡單，但接下來呢？418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEEcmzle65m
　　418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDzW4CliMUj
只要我變不出孩子，婆婆永遠有新的花招等著我…418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDrXthngq6J
　　418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpzuerWGjcA
我已經陪婆婆玩兩年了，這樣的日子我還得熬多久？418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0zuUbAVKfW
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Ju8ozi73G
　　　　我 受 夠 了！！！418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1y06jdlcaP
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡymk3RNBJza
「妳慢慢哭吧」，婆婆的哭聲幾乎穿透了天際，但我已經不在乎了…在一片空白的思緒中，我恍惚的握住了大門門把…「我~~不幹了」！418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkdl1zcqr3O
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqzcBAvgsnj
“ 砰”！！~~的一聲…婆婆的哭嚎聲被留在了門後。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcuqA2M3YAO
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRsGKIKImm1
我走出門外，迎接我的是愁煞人的秋雨，十月的碧潭剛迎來入秋第一道寒流，冰冷的雨絲一根根扎入我毫無防護的雙臂，我知道我該回頭，但我無路可退。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNVWPQb7Pxf
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyeOiWb3SJz
退不得，那就跑吧！418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQiFQhKPY2t
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8y2aTgF8YN
於是我開始拼命奔跑、拼命奔跑……418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1bPbOeriUD
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgO4KDLZtqY
萬萬想不到，這一跑，竟跑出了我的第一個孩子，還有那短暫卻一生難忘的姐妹情誼……418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4HWm11PFfm
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ31GXrRWvQk
這是一個很短、很短的故事，如果您允許的話，請容我用旁觀者的角度，向您娓娓道來吧。