當季妍和昕然在楊家老宅溫暖的被窩裡“相親相愛”時,五十公尺外的季妍婆家正熱鬧著。245Please respect copyright.PENANAcx6MUPvyOm
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楊媽到家了,而她關上門後做的第一件事,就是叫老公“起床”。245Please respect copyright.PENANArEfni1DPEx
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PS:早在昕然出生前,楊家公婆就已經分房了,並不是因為楊爸擔心尚未出生的小Baby打擾他的睡眠,而是因為楊爸需要專心“做股票”。245Please respect copyright.PENANAaFDGAFOR96
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是的,楊爸是個無藥可救的“股癌”患者。245Please respect copyright.PENANANAH4iCJgWn
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從學會寫股票二字的那天起,楊爸就開始玩股票了,他一直幻想著能靠股票賺大錢,無奈夢想很美,現實很殘酷~~~楊爸不僅沒發財,還越玩越窮、越玩越窮…幸好楊媽嫁妝夠多,不然昕然出生時喝的就不是牛奶而是西北風了!245Please respect copyright.PENANAsn3sPtN8mD
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可能是楊媽“錢太多”了吧,幾十年來楊爸就這樣放心地把每一塊收入都投入浩瀚無際的股海之中,對這個家庭則是一張衛生紙都沒有付出過,也因為如此,昕然的奶奶才會越過兒子,直接把老宅過戶給昕然…拜託,如果把房子過戶給楊爸,保證第二天房子就能變成楊爸的股本賠光光!245Please respect copyright.PENANAEDk4x4LhkD
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喔喔,好像離題了…回題回題。245Please respect copyright.PENANAddEEf6QSao
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因為家裡養了二隻大麻雀(楊媽和安然),為了專心研究股票,楊爸不惜鉅資在他的房裡裝了四面隔音牆外加120分貝的噪音都穿不透的隔音門,而楊爸又是九點半準時入睡的乖寶寶(早睡早起才有精神研究股票嘛),所以,在這接近午夜的時刻想要叫醒楊爸,幾乎是不可能的任務。245Please respect copyright.PENANAZzwba1oSWU
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只是,再好的裝備也抵擋不住楊媽心中的怒火。245Please respect copyright.PENANANa3xX21uk6
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“砰砰砰”~~245Please respect copyright.PENANANAVhefUJJd
「喂~~開門啊」~~!!!245Please respect copyright.PENANALkIJxZuu9j
“砰砰砰砰”~~245Please respect copyright.PENANAvkoSsl8sGQ
「喂~~」~~~「喂~~」~~~245Please respect copyright.PENANAlXncw3VXTM
“砰砰砰”!245Please respect copyright.PENANAzE4Bv2PVqs
“砰砰砰”!245Please respect copyright.PENANAFrc7v8hGgS
“砰砰砰砰”!245Please respect copyright.PENANADqLeaQWpI9
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楊媽就這樣死命的敲啊敲~敲啊敲…245Please respect copyright.PENANApkHaolIzYh
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皇天不負苦心人,就在楊媽的手快敲斷之際,楊爸的房門終於“吱”~~一聲打開了…245Please respect copyright.PENANAUQXFMdx3c6
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就在房門打開的同一刻,一個留著長久未修的地中海髮型、大大的酒糟鼻卻配了雙瞇瞇眼、下巴長滿了長短不一的鬍渣的瘦老頭,就這樣從視線昏暗的房間裡冒了出來。245Please respect copyright.PENANAj9vcnd0nAY
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一直以來,楊爸的房間都維持著陰暗昏沉的色調,為了省錢買股票,楊爸可是連燈管壞了都捨不得換呢!昏黃的小夜燈是五坪的房間唯一的光源,可能是房間養人吧,楊爸的臉色總是一貫的晦暗陰沉,但今天的楊爸顯然要比平日陰沈許多。245Please respect copyright.PENANAhdNFeVxiHe
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知夫莫若妻…245Please respect copyright.PENANAeuHduAcyRd
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「喂」,在楊爸開門的第一秒,楊媽就看穿了楊爸的“心事”,於是楊媽就更不爽了,「你股票又賠啦」?245Please respect copyright.PENANAOFGftbMBVn
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「關妳屁事啊」,楊爸陰著臉回道,「哈囉」。245Please respect copyright.PENANAVAGnNGDzIt
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噢,忘了說,楊爸和楊媽對彼此的稱呼如下:楊媽叫楊爸“喂”、楊爸叫楊媽“哈囉”……別問我為什麼,我也不知道。245Please respect copyright.PENANAeoFhzBjWHb
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夫妻兩人的對話充滿火藥味,偏偏惟一的潤滑劑(安然妹妹是也)又到便利商店“狩獵”去了,如果是平時這對活寶夫妻肯定又要吵翻天,但今天楊媽可沒心情跟這個糟老頭吵架…245Please respect copyright.PENANAJMVjn9Ur0X
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別忘了,那個大肚婆還在兒子家窩著呢!245Please respect copyright.PENANAGIpY7YVjoR
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「喂~你出來」,為了兒子,楊媽告訴自己千萬要忍耐、忍耐、忍耐,於是她用力做了幾次深呼吸,努力憋下一口氣後,終於用她肥白的手指著客廳沙發,女王似的對楊爸命令道,「有事找你」。245Please respect copyright.PENANAeKZTtqrVpq
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「什麼事啊」?楊爸這輩子最恨老婆那副高高再上的模樣了,如果是平時楊爸早就跟老婆鬧開了,但今天的楊媽臉色反常的凝重,這讓楊爸感覺事態嚴重,於是他難得的乖乖就範…245Please respect copyright.PENANAyLQINp68MK
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楊爸邊打著呵欠,一邊慢吞吞的走向沙發,但,不知是楊媽太興奮還是怎樣,楊爸還來不及坐定呢,楊媽突然像Youtube影片不小心調到2倍速撥放一樣,揪著楊爸裂了好幾個洞的上衣衣角,劈哩啪啦的把在兒子家與未婚媽媽“交手”的前因後果毫不保留的對楊爸倒了個乾淨,然後…然後…245Please respect copyright.PENANACwT8YkvsDM
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楊爸就笑了…245Please respect copyright.PENANALzVuU1yB2u
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「唷~~瞧你緊張的,我還以為出了什麼大事咧」!楊爸一邊取笑楊媽,一邊抬起衣角擦拭方才被楊媽嚇出的一肚子冷汗,「不是我說你,你真是越活越回去了,一點小事也把你嚇成這樣」……245Please respect copyright.PENANAybCbyqiCMU
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「不就是兒子撿了個未婚媽媽回來嗎?那有什麼難的,通知她爸媽把人領回去不就得了」!245Please respect copyright.PENANAQ8mlURuCQQ
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「你說得倒簡單」,看到老公一副無關緊要的模樣,楊媽的火氣更大了,「如果她爸媽那麼好找,那你去把他爸媽找出來啊」!245Please respect copyright.PENANAUT3xndY6PU
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「拜託…誰知道她爸媽住哪?我又不認識她」!說著說著,楊爸又打了個大呵欠…「Hello~~不是我說你,你這麼晚折騰這個,還讓不讓人睡啊」!245Please respect copyright.PENANAXRWDlvq1UU
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「喂~你認真點好不好」,楊爸的死樣子終於惹惱了楊媽,只見她氣得抄起茶几上的報紙揉成一團後直接砸到楊爸臉上,「你兒子都出大事了你還只想著睡睡睡,你…你還有沒有良心啊」!245Please respect copyright.PENANAczpf12QPJy
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「欸~~妳幹嘛打人」!楊媽的怒火來得太突然,楊爸嚇得差點從沙發上跌下來~~「不過是一個未婚媽媽而已,妳有必要發神經嗎」…245Please respect copyright.PENANAhiGyFa2gWb
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「我發神經」?好吧,這下楊媽更生氣了,「喂~你的腦子裡除了股票還裝了什麼?裝屎嗎?你懂不懂什麼叫“防人之心不可無”啊?像她那種不知從哪兒冒出來的人,我能不小心提防嗎?誰知道她是不是騙子啊?好吧,就算她不是騙子,但她可是挺了個大肚子跑來我們家耶,如果她那顆肚子有個三七二十一的,你要負責啊」?245Please respect copyright.PENANAOHhlYO5Fit
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「告訴你,那個未婚媽媽就是個大麻煩~大麻煩啊」!245Please respect copyright.PENANAvp1Rr20xTC
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想到那個還窩在兒子家的麻煩和那個連人都撿的蠢蛋媳婦,楊媽的心裡就忍不住冒煙。245Please respect copyright.PENANAfWI1eUme8G
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「我不管啦」,在心裡把媳婦咒罵了一百遍後,楊媽終於下定決心,「反正你明天跟我一起去兒子家一趟」…楊媽冷哼,「這次不把那個女的趕出去我就不姓楊」!245Please respect copyright.PENANAmpv6WLx3Vy
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就在楊媽熬夜和楊爸熬夜商討趕人大計的同時,季妍,起床了…245Please respect copyright.PENANARlWP0NotGf
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話說季妍從小就是個夜貓子,早上七點起床對她來說簡直是不可能的任務,但今天季妍偏偏就這麼早起…原因無他,因為她想親自為小雨做頓營養豐盛的早餐咩!245Please respect copyright.PENANAClUtLzUHK8
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只是,才打開冰箱,季妍就難住了。245Please respect copyright.PENANAVWlmTmHXnZ
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因為,冰箱裡除了幾包現成的零食餅乾、幾罐飲料和二盒沒拆的雞蛋外,根本連半顆菜都沒有呀!245Please respect copyright.PENANAwVYAn30tyc
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唉,季妍的冰箱之所以沒半顆青菜,是因為~~~季妍根本不會做菜。245Please respect copyright.PENANAm1j5RWoBh2
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是的,雖然已經當了三年的楊太太,但季妍根本沒下過幾次廚房,結婚三年來,夫婦倆的三餐不是外食,就是到50公尺外的婆家蹭飯,奇怪的是,對於媳婦這致命的缺點,身為婆婆的楊媽卻選擇視而不見。245Please respect copyright.PENANAZs0gwVk6PQ
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唉~~不是楊媽不想管,實在是因為---季妍的廚藝實在太“精彩”了!245Please respect copyright.PENANA87A3RbcmxT
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海藍色的紫薯肉絲粥、黑漆漆黏乎乎的高麗菜海苔豆皮炒蛋、五臟俱全外焦內生的紅燒魚(內臟沒清)……245Please respect copyright.PENANApBoRSg9GWo
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唉~~~唉~~~唉~~~245Please respect copyright.PENANAFdlm1zn3dn
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幸好季妍廚藝爛歸爛,簡單的白煮蛋她還是會的。245Please respect copyright.PENANA8lLa61gKmA
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所以,小雨的早餐就多了10顆白煮蛋。245Please respect copyright.PENANAldNqkVRMzv
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「這…麽多」?小雨“受寵若驚”的盯著餐盤…即使懷孕,小雨的胃口還是一樣的小(所以除了那顆肚子外,小雨苗條得根本不像孕婦好嗎)她從來沒有一次吃過這麽多蛋…這…她一個人吞得完嗎?245Please respect copyright.PENANAoYGTBC3x7S
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而且,一次吞那麼多顆蛋,會不會蛋中毒啊?245Please respect copyright.PENANAWqBI4SgXlR
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「別客氣啊,不夠還有」,季妍熱情的招呼小雨,一邊為小雨奉上一大杯牛奶,她完全沒搞懂小雨的為難之處,還以為小雨在跟她客氣呢!245Please respect copyright.PENANAyzjYamz1JM
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「噢…謝謝」,小雨實在無法拒絕季妍的“好意”,只好硬著頭皮道謝。245Please respect copyright.PENANAe8Q7vmuGlO
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當小雨埋頭啃蛋的同時,昕然也起來了,和小雨“豐盛”的早餐相比,他的早餐只有簡單的果醬吐司配牛奶,連一顆荷包蛋都沒有(季妍不會煎荷包蛋),但昕然並不在意。245Please respect copyright.PENANAQhv1DiBSsw
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「妳今天要畫畫嗎」?昕然邊挖果醬,邊詢問季妍。245Please respect copyright.PENANACxVx3ZM1zz
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「不畫」,季妍笑咪咪的把牛奶遞給了昕然,「我今天休息」。245Please respect copyright.PENANAU1w5qMyTmh
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「畫畫」?小雨好奇的抬頭,「季妍姐妳是畫家嗎」?245Please respect copyright.PENANA9IjZOt9xr7
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「不是啦」,昕然把牛奶還給季妍,季妍不急不徐的幫自己倒了一杯,「我只是畫點插畫」。245Please respect copyright.PENANAUmG3iUJnuP
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「哇~妳會畫插畫呀」~小雨崇拜的看著季妍,「好厲害呦」~~245Please respect copyright.PENANAVX2agzswWB
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「沒有啦」…季妍呵呵笑,「賺點小錢而已」…245Please respect copyright.PENANArIDxNxkjaj
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「對呀」~昕然點頭贊成,「真的只有一點錢」…245Please respect copyright.PENANA4tAeLomqOC
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昕然話才說完,小雨差點把叉子戳進鼻孔裡…245Please respect copyright.PENANA814EISnp1L
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「哇」~小雨暗自驚歎…季妍姐的老公也太…“誠實”了吧…245Please respect copyright.PENANAJRL8mEFqdX
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小雨以為季妍姐肯定被氣死,但…並沒有。245Please respect copyright.PENANAM0EuYsQxxb
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「我是很窮啊」~對於老公的“毒舌”,季妍竟然只是嘻嘻一笑~「所以你得努力賺錢養我~知道嗎」?245Please respect copyright.PENANAulXHGfnj0I
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「知道知道」,昕然挑挑眉,「不然還要老公幹嘛」?245Please respect copyright.PENANAvQw0YgMkjx
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說完,兩人竟超有默契的相視一笑。245Please respect copyright.PENANALY0Yb5tmHL
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小雨在旁邊看得都懵了。245Please respect copyright.PENANAxclep8QlxS
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看著眼前的兩人無厘頭的“打情罵俏”,小雨突然懷疑自己是不是變笨了---不然她怎麼聽不出他們的對話有什麼好笑?245Please respect copyright.PENANAHm5kCh8cqC
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但小雨又忍不住羨慕他們…245Please respect copyright.PENANAOhvtEJijMK
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如果阿德能這樣對她…該有多好啊…245Please respect copyright.PENANA7KCH8pbSGq
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想到男友,小雨的心情瞬間又跌落到了谷底…245Please respect copyright.PENANAFmJLyazrDI
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雖然小雨極力掩飾情緒,但季妍還是看出了端倪……季妍想講點什麼讓小雨開心些,但她和小雨才認識不到八小時,能聊什麼呀?245Please respect copyright.PENANAMRwGQFl2cm
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對了,聊聊孩子吧!245Please respect copyright.PENANAFMg8Spp9AN
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「小雨,我問妳呦」~季妍指指小雨的肚子~「妳幾個月了」?245Please respect copyright.PENANAKnywOiwY1f
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「什麼幾個…噢,妳說這個呀」,小雨低頭看看肚子,「我也不知道」。245Please respect copyright.PENANAdj55kNkTeN
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「什麼」??245Please respect copyright.PENANAnoQS2MVmIQ
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「妳不知道」?!245Please respect copyright.PENANAMC4bW6NPW5
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小雨的答案震驚了季妍和昕然…245Please respect copyright.PENANAyCKUMO7KoR
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「我真的不知道啊」,看著眼前的倆人一副備受驚嚇的模樣,小雨連忙用她細糯的嗓音解釋道,「我又沒看過醫生」。245Please respect copyright.PENANARDhV6iJ182
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「妳沒看過醫生」!!!不解釋還好,一解釋,倆人直接呆了。245Please respect copyright.PENANAGgfusmI13n
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「我沒辦法看醫生啊…我又沒健保卡」,眼看倆人已接近石化,小雨只能進一步解釋,「沒健保卡看醫生很貴耶!而且阿德說產檢很浪費錢,要生的時候再去醫院就好啦」!245Please respect copyright.PENANADFMavzDQ3J
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「阿德」?…天啊~~是那個混蛋男友!245Please respect copyright.PENANALpdJk0QyGZ
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「妳」…吼~~聽著聽著,季妍突然覺得拳頭超癢~~她真得好想把“阿德”揪過來好好揍一頓啊!245Please respect copyright.PENANAul1ZOavXZI
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還有小雨,都被搞成這樣了,竟然還把那個爛男人的話奉為圭臬!245Please respect copyright.PENANAzGMHbsDxJC
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「唉」…季妍已經不知道該說什麼了……245Please respect copyright.PENANAvhdTvIVxDU
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“算了”,季妍瞥瞥小雨的肚子,暗自嘆氣,“想這幹嘛,先看醫生再說吧”!245Please respect copyright.PENANAY4ul4AyceZ
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“想做就做”是季妍一貫的原則…於是,季妍開口了。245Please respect copyright.PENANAfuOYBOweVB
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「小雨啊」,說著,季妍從容不迫的幫小雨添了第二杯牛奶,「趕快吃喔,吃完我帶妳去見一個人」。245Please respect copyright.PENANAcf32wXzl8j
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「見一個人」?小雨眨了眨眼,疑惑的接過牛奶。245Please respect copyright.PENANA9dRM1XkAHS
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「對啊,那個人妳也認識喔」!245Please respect copyright.PENANAugl3Xo6T3w
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「我認識」?好吧,這下小雨更疑惑了…「誰呀」?245Please respect copyright.PENANASSKDPNDv3o
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「就是」…245Please respect copyright.PENANA6vX4Eja0q5
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「她」~~~說著,季妍突然指著小雨的肚子,笑呵呵的回答。245Please respect copyright.PENANABOW6OG1cOn