*This is an excerpt from a book I'm rewriting/working on, so there's obviously gonna be context missing, which is fine in this case. It's also still in its first draft phase, just as a heads-up.*
"M'kay…" The cop nodded slowly. "Do you have any idea why your ability went out of control?"
"Oh, you can call them outbursts. Like, when my power goes haywire, I call them outbursts. Sorry, off-topic. But, uh, anyway" — I gulped, my voice suddenly catching and suddenly starting to quiver all over again — "I think it's like… I – I – I just… I get…"
"You get….? Go on," said the cop.
"I get mad," I said. Why was I tearing up? "B-but I don't wanna use my p-power." The first tear was this close to rolling down my face. I looked directly down, but it didn't help. "I… I wanna…. I wanted to… I wanted to just… run. Break free. B-b-but no, no that didn't happen."
"You okay?" He leaned forward. "Everything alright?"
I let out a whimper, and that's when the first tear fell. It hit the fabric of my green pants.
"I - I… My vision got blurry back there" — I took a short, shallow breath in, unable to control myself anymore — "and I literally couldn't see anything or move or hear or feel or… or… I just couldn't do anything!" Another whimper, and shame filled my shipwrecked heart. "And now all of this horrible shit happened and I don't even know how to fix it or make things better and I was just so out of control but I wanted to be in control but I just… I JUST COULDN'T!"
I was full-blown in tears now. My head was racing and lightheaded at the same time. The tears were flowing just as free as the guilt that ravaged in my soul — the guilt that took the physical form of a heavy weight in my throat, in my heart, in my entire body. The guilt that seemed to weigh me down for my entire goddamn life — the one thing I could never, ever seem to get rid of.
And now I was here, in a police interrogation room, spilling all of that emotional weight out at the worst time.
What was wrong with me? Why was it so hard to fix myself?
That was all I wanted to know!
ns 15.158.61.20da2
