會議在 4 樓的大禮堂舉行,由盧炳茂院長主持,禁絕外人參與。
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「Dear ALL, this meeting is very important, it will be short but crucial. In order not to affect the normal operation of our business, this meeting must be ended in 30 minutes. (親愛的同工們,這次會議十分重要,它會很簡短但非常關鍵,為了不影響我們業務的正常運作,本次會議必須在 30 分鐘內結束。) 」
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「There is only one agenda for the meeting, and this item will be very decisional. Therefore, the content of the discussion must be carefully recorded. Anna C, you only need to record down the conclusions we adopt, and I will ask Chairman Wu to endorse it at the EC meeting tomorrow night. OK, Doctor Ng, you can start now. (會議只有一個議程,這個議題將非常具有決定性。因此,討論的內容一定要很小心的紀錄。 Anna C,你只需要記錄下我們通過的結論,我會在明天晚上的管理委員會會議上請巫主席批准。好了,吳醫生,請你開始吧。) 」
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「Thank you Dean Lo. My dear colleagues, as a matter of fact, this meeting was convened by me. Well, time is precious, let's get straight to the point, I propose to relocate all the laboratories and offices in Floor 8 to Floor 7. The eighth floor will be converted into four super deluxe convalescent single bed wards, and I propose to name them "Chaiwenmen", "Solomon", "Tiananmen", and "Arc de Triomphe". Compared to the "Chongwenmen", "Zhengyangmen" and "Xuanwumen" of Floor 9, "Chaiwenmen", "Solomon", "Tiananmen", and "Arc de Triomphe" are more grand and splendor, they will charge 35% more than those three on the ninth floor. As you all know, status of the "Chongwenmen", "Zhengyangmen" and "Xuanwumen" are so unique and important in our income source, they are fully booked all the year 365 days round and the waiting list is longer than my remaining life. Without any doubt, the addition of one luxury ward is a must-earn profit, and it is also essential for us to be strong and continue to stay at local preeminent status. As for those double rooms and single rooms of Floor 7, the average occupation rate is only 97.2046%, which is still under the target of our business. I am dead sure the new "Chaiwenmen", "Solomon", "Tiananmen", and "Arc de Triomphe" must become the new advanced bench mark of world’s medical and hospital services. Ladies and Gentlemen, It's a wishful thinking, a real business. (謝謝盧院長。各位同事,這次會議是我要求院長召開的。時間寶貴關係,我直入主題吧,我提議把 8 樓的實驗室和辦公室全部搬遷到 7 樓,8 樓改建為 4 間超豪華單人療養病房,命名為日本風格的「柴文門」、中東風格的「所羅門」、祖國風格的「天安門」,和法式風格的「凱旋門」。與 9 樓的「崇文門」、「正陽門」和「宣武門」相比,「柴文門」、「所羅門」、「天安門」,和「凱旋門」更加宏偉壯觀,兩倍氣勢磅礴,收費會比 9 樓的「崇文門」、「正陽門」和「宣武門」高 35%。眾所周知,「崇文門」、「正陽門」和「宣武門」的地位在我們的收入來源中是如此獨特和重要,全年 365 天都被訂滿,候補名單比你和我的餘生還要長。毫無疑問,增加一個超豪病房是必賺取的利潤,也是本院執牛耳並繼續保持領先地位的必要條件。至於 7 樓的那些雙人病房和單人病房,平均入住率只有 97.2046%,仍未達到我們的業務目標。各位,我堅信,新的「柴文門」、「所羅門」、「天安門」,和「凱旋門」,一定會成為世界醫療和醫院服務的最新先進標杆,這是個真正的生意,如意的算盤。) 」
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「Doctor Ng, from the administrative and managerial viewpoints, I agree with your proposal, it is feasible, and also beautiful. However, is it rational and practical? Moving all the facilities of the eighth floor to the sixth floor, renovating the sixth and eighth floors, and resulting with no increase but decrease in the number of wards. In the long run we may win, but in short term we must lose. (吳醫生,從行政和管理的角度來說,我同意你的建議,可行也很漂亮。然而,它合理和實用嗎? 將 8 樓的設施全部移去 7 樓,7 樓和 8 樓重新裝修又進行改造,病房數量沒有增多反而減少了。從長遠來講,我們可能會贏,但以短期來看,我們一定會輸。)」 另一個副院長楊銘強提出質疑。
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也只有副院長夠胆質疑副院長,楊銘強副院長繼續質疑: 「Moreover, the occupancy rates of "Yemen", "Humen", "Chengmen", "Cammen", "Shimen", and "Manmen" on the seventh floor are increasing. It is really not difficult to meet the percent occupation rate target of 99.9988. (況且,7 樓的「也門」、「虎門」、「城門」、「卡門」、「石門」,和「名門」的入住率正在上升,要達到使用率 99.9988 這個目標,實在沒有什麼困難。) 」
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「Thank you for your reminding, Doctor Yeung, your worry and concern are reasonable and understandable, but I tell you actually, besides the above considerations, there lay a dead real and sharp urgent need to redesign the 7th floor’s facilities pattern. (謝謝你的提醒,楊副院長,你的擔心是合理的,可以理解的,但是,我實在告訴你,除了以上考慮之外,重新設計 7 樓的格局和設施,還有一個非常現實的情況和迫切的需要。) 」
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「What kind of real and how sharp is the urgency? (什麼的情況,如何的緊迫。) 」
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「really real and sharply sharp,because the "Manmen" has ghosts. (非常情況,非常緊迫,因為「名門」有鬼。) 」
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「!!!」
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「???」
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「!?!」
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「?!?」
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「———」
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副院長吳念祖醫生的說話引起一陣嘩然,嘩然之中竟有不少人點頭讚同。
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院長盧炳茂博士板起一張臉,舉起一隻手指,嘩然很快便平靜下來。
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