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"SURPRISE ROOMIE!!!" I was woken up by a loud voice screaming in my face and something that sounded like an airhorn. I let out a shrill shriek, and shot outta the bed, grabbing a red-haired girl's arm, twisting it behind her back, and pinning her to the ground, sitting on top of her.
"Who are you, and how did you find my location?" I snarl, my mini-knife held against her neck, touching it, but not digging into it yet. "Woah woah woah, calm the FUCK DOWN!" The girl panics, struggling to get free.
"Who are you, and how the FUCK did you compromise my location?!" I ask louder, holding the knife closer to her now. "I'm sorry jeez! I didn't know you'd be that grumpy." She exclaimed. "I'm just your new roommate." She answers.
"I do not have a roommate." I twist her arm a little. "No no no seriously, you do. I moved here all the way from Canada, so that's why I'm late." She explains desperately, trying to get free. "You work for the Critters?" I ask, thinking about all the assassin communities there.
"The what?!" She asks, breathing heavily. "Lady, I have no idea why you're torturing me like this right now, but I swear I won't wake you up like that again." She says. "So you really don't know who I am, huh?" I question.
"Bro all I know is that we're dormmates. I didn't think you'd be asleep at 2 pm!" She coughs a little. "Hmm." I pull the knife away, not really getting off of her yet though. After thinking about it for a minute, I was pretty convinced, and finally got off of her.
"What did you say we were again?" I ask her, standing up now. "R-roomies." She stutters, her forest green eyes widened with fear, and she slowly began crawling away from me, not breaking eye contact however.
"Oh... Well then, roomie, it's great to meet you." I smile sweetly, offering her my hand, which she hesitantly took. With one swift tug, I pulled her up to her feet, and shook her hand. "Pheonyx Parker." I introduced myself.
Of course it wasn't my real name. How dumb would that be?
"Amelia MacGuffin." She stuttered, shaking my hand weakly. "That is a garbage handshake. Hold firmer." I snap, holding her hand firmer, and she did the same, extremely confused. "Much better." I comment, letting go of her hand, and walking to my bed, tidying up a little.
"So... you're new here too?" The girl, Amelia, then asks. "Yeah, came here from Russia." I tell her. "Oh, so you're Russian?" She asks. "No. I went there for uh... Vacations." I tell her the partial truth. "Oh, that sounds cool." She mumbles.
"So where are you actually from?" She asks, "Colorado." I reply, stacking my files up neatly and placing them in the safe I invested in. "Oh..." She mutters. "How about you?" I ask her. "I moved here from Ontario. My brother already goes here.
He's a year older." She answers.
Welp, that's a lotta information I didn't ask for, but okay. I guess this is how conversations work.
"So... How long have you been here?" She asks me after 5 minutes of silence, as she unpacked, and I was lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling. "Hmm?" I look at her. "Oh, like a week now." I answer her question.
"Were there a lotta dorm burglaries?" She questions. "Huh?" I gave her a perplexed look. "Oh um, it's just the way you reacted earlier today... I couldn't help but wonder what must've happened to make you so... Vicious?" She rambles a little.
"No, there were no dorm burglaries. You just caught me off guard, you see." I mumble. "Besides, even if there was a dorm burglary, I wouldn't be too worried about it." I shrugged it off.
"Because you'd know how to take care of the assholes?" She grins. "No, because I have nothing worth stealing." I roll my eyes, and she lets out a laugh.
Hmm. I didn't realize I was a funny person.
"You're crazy, you know that." She chuckles some more. "Yeah, I get that a lot." I crack a smile too. She had a really magnetic laugh. "Haven't you finished unpacking yet? Classes start tomorrow." She reminds. "I have unpacked." I tell her.
"But... Your side of the bed... It's just so empty!" She notices. "Like I said, I have nothing worth stealing." I sigh, scrolling through my phone lazily. "Didn't realize that you were being serious..." She mumbles.
"Well, don't you wanna decorate things?" She raises her brows at me. "Why would I want to? I don't own this place." I reply, confused. "Oh c'mon dude, don't be like that." She groans. "Be like what?" I ask.
"So... I don't know. Lifeless?" She scoffs. "How am I lifeless?" I ask, getting annoyed now. "No offence, miss, but your side of the bet legit looks like a coffin." She raises her brows at me. "Body bags are a lot more convenient." I blurt out, quickly shutting up.
"What?" She laughs some more. "You know, I think we're gonna get along just fine." She grins at me. "You mean like, friends?" I ask, not very familiar with the whole concept of human interactions. "More like, best friends." She chuckles.
"Interesting..." I mumble, getting out a notepad and a pencil. "And based on what grounds are you making that bizarre judgement?" I sorta interview her, but she just laughs at me again. Wait, does she think I'm joking?
I really don't remember being funny with her.
"Why are you laughing?!" I ask, making her laugh some more. I just let out a groan, and tap my pen impatiently, waiting for her to shut up so that I can note down her feedback. And before I could go on with my interview, another person barged into the room.
"Yo Kweenz here bitches!" A very bombastic voice exclaimed, making me jump up again. "Pheonyx- No!" I felt Amelia's arms hold me back by my waist, preventing me from charging at the new person. "Ahhh- What the fuck?!" The girl yelped, seeing what was going on.
"Pheonyx, she's just our roomie!"
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