I'm currently In my room so I began writing in my make-shift diary about what happened, and tears started to flow down my face ruining the paper, I was a sobbing mess I then sat up on my "bed" and tried calming my self down but I kept sniffling.
"Why aren't I Good enough?"
"Why does my mother hate everything I do?"
"I hate myself"
"Why do I have to be so useless?"
After a couple more sniffles I began thinking rationally and grabbed the small pocket knife that I hid under my pillow, I then rolled up my pants leg revealing my lower thigh I take a moment looking at my previous scars allowing the backstory to each individual wound to flash before my eyes allowing tears to fall to my thigh and then the floor.
I took a deep breath and placed the knife onto my thigh and added more pressure as I glided it against my rigid skin, I did this a couple more times and then I wiped away the blood from my lower thigh and placed the knife back in it's original hiding place.
After all that crying and thinking I began to get tired so I attempted to lay down however i felt a sharp pain on my thigh, after a few more attempts my thigh was stinging and aching, I finally decided to just hurry up and lay down. While I'm laying in my "bed" my mind begins to wonder about unnecessary things so I just forced myself to sleep.
ns 15.158.61.54da2
