The night comes and i wear a black t shirt with a black teouser, o go outside and see Vasil at the gate going inside a white car, seeing Joanna at the back seat and Ellie beaide the drivers seat and a man a bit older our age with curly hair, i go and close the gate and he open the door, i say hi and the man gives me his hand "hey man, alex" "Lawrence" he takes a slip of water from the bottle next to him And he look at me "i have another bottle if you want to drink" "no im fine" he look infront of him and starts driving, with me and Vasil looking outside and Joanna and ellie on their phones, we park outised and as i open the door i see a wooden buidling with lights flashing bright fron the large windows above and besides the door that show the interior, seeing people drinking and dancing, we walk inside hearing loud rap music along with men and women shouting, Alex goes on the bar talking to many people and to the bartender, he comes at us and says "it has a small table left" we nod our heads and he guides us at it, having a square table and four chairs and view outside, Alex bring more chairs and we all sit, the bartender bring a large bottle of vodka and small cups, i say "sorry we didn't ordered it" Alex says "its okay, i ordered it, today i will treat you well" me and Vasil say one after the other "you don't have to" he raise his hand and says "do not say that, you are friends with my brother and the rest, besides you seem like good guyd" we open our kouths but quickly close them, sitting down and looking at each other,
Joanna says "do not feel bad, Alex does this to everyone" I sigh and with the edge of my eye I see the door opening.
Jenny and the others come and sit with us, Alex saying to dane "our father wants to speak with you tomorrow " Dane nods his head pensively looking at the table before he sits" They all sit and we open the bottle and Vasil fills everyone cups except mine, he then looks at me in the eyes and as I look at the cup felling a knob in my stomach and chest and say "fill it until the middle" he fill it and after a while Vasil raise the cup and the rest of us mimic him.
He starts speaking in Russian and he drinks the cup in one slip and lets it to the table making a knock, the others drink with Alan only touching it to his lips and the rest of us drinking it in one slip, swiftly putting the cup down and drinking water or breathing heavy.
I let the cup down feeling almost ready to vomit from the taste of the alcohol but after a cup of water the nausea starts fleeting,after a while gelsida says "lets go dance" Vasil agrees and the others also agree, they get up and Vasil give me his hand and pulls me up and start dancing, feeling my head blurring but still having full consciousness, we dance for many minutes and I go back to the table and fill the cup ready to engorge, I fill it one more time and drink it in an instant feeling again the need to vomit but in a less degree.
I fill the cup again and
go back to the others and start dancing, raising arms and shouting, Vasil comes to me and says "are you feeling good?" My eyes trying to focus on his face, I say swiftly "Yeah, better than ever" he looks at the table and then back to me "how many have you drink?" "I don't know 4, 5? It could be more" "but you will not drink more right?" " "Of course, now let's dance, maybe even find a cute girl to pass on Alan"
He looked at me with a bit of worry but soon he starts dancing, I go back to the table and drink one more cup and later Ellie and the others go and see the bottle half
empty, they look at me and Ellie comes close to my face "Lawrence you should calm down with the drinking"
"nonsense I'm fine" I turn my body and look back at them with Joanna passing the people and getting closer, she talk to them and then look at me with her wide eyes, I lean towards her and whisper "won't you dance with an asshole like this?" Joanna stare at me for a second and I reply "do I look so hilarious to you?" She comes and grabs my hand and makes me sit on the chair, I turn my eyes at her and try to focus on her "wait here for a while, I will come back soon" I nod my head and lay my hands on the table and place my head, feeling the taste of alcohol in my tongue and a small headache, and the time pass fast, feeling dizzy and smiling, sometimes laughing for no reason, I look up and go to the bartender and order.
Bringing another bottle and drinking two cups, Vasil comes and gently touches my back and I look at him, stepping a foot back and holding my balance, Vasil look me in the eyes and says "its enough for today" I start laughing loud and I grab his shoulder "it's not enough" Vasil goes to the table and place the bottle at the corner and takes me to the center and start dancing again, having his eyes locked on me, Joanna soon comes and look at me with her wide eyes and whisper at Vasil, he nod his head and she takes my hand and we dance "Lawrence will you do me a favor" "whatever you want"
"Will you stay with me for the rest of the night?" "But I want to drink a bit more" she gaze into my eyes "please" I sigh massively "I will do my best" she smile and we dance, after countless songs She look around and says as she place her arm on my shoulder
"wait here" I nod my head and she starts walking away, I gaze around seeing the empty table with another bottle of vodka half empty, I walk towards the table crossing my legs and almost falling many times, leaning my head left and right, I place my hands at the table and after looking at the bottle for a breath I take it, filling a cup as some of the alcohol falls outside, I hold the cup above my shoulder and drink it in one slip and dropping it down with force it breaks into moderate pieces, i take one and ask a man for a lighter.
I look at the chair beside me for a moment and as I hold it to sit I fall, growing a smile for a moment before it gets replaced by half closed cold eyes, taking deep breaths and letting them out massively and
staring at the floor, suddenly I see Joanna's legs and I look at her eyes with the same half closed eyes, she squat and says "let's go out to get some air"
I stare a heartbeat more before I answer her "I'm alright, let's just go back and get more drunk, oh like a pile of shit I am, a drunk pile of shit" I laugh out loud and she grab my shoulder looking with worry "let's go" she gives me her hand and with a bit of force manage to get me up, we walk towards the center and I start laughing.
She look at me and asks "what is so funny?" I laugh loud "the fact you hang out with me, a sack of meat with no future" Joanna comes forward slowly with her eyes narrow and extends her arm, I back down "I don't wish to sit down again" Joanna calmly responds "then let's go dance" she pulls me at her side, dancing and slowly making small steps behind, I laugh loud with some eyes watching me for a second and I say "wait here I need some more alcohol" Joanna grabs my shoulder "you have already drink enough" I laugh out loud "I can drink more, besides why do you care about me? Just let me drink and maybe fall from a hill" Joanna grabs me and I pull my hand intensely towards me, revealing a fresh cut "it smells like is burning"
"just leave me for god's sake, you don't have any reason to try and stop me" I feel my strength leaving my body and Joanna manage to pull me at her side and she opens the door, pushing me with her hand and making me sit on a bench "what is bothering you?" I laugh out loud and I say "nothing, kets go back and dance" I get up and she pulls me down again with little effort "please Lawrence, don't do this to yourself" I look at her worrying eyes and her lowered eyebrows and I sigh and then look up to the sky at the ocean of stars "I just want to forget for a moment this useless existence" Joanna look me in the eyes "what do you mean?" "Everyone I know has accomplished something so far, but I am still far behind, what have I accomplished? everything I created was a pile of garbage and still is, almost every relationship I tried to fix broke again, i tried to pass the exams and failed, trying to find a reasonable job when i graduated but failed even in that, hell even my relationship is going downhill I'm just a mess on my own" she lean her head close to me "no you are not, I may not know you too long but I know you are supportive, funny and hard working"
"And still achieved nothing" a long silence surrounds the conversation, after several minutes Joanna says "Lawrence, I cannot promise you will find what you looking for, but in the end it would be better to know you have given everything than die with the regret and the doubt of how your life would it be" "but I would still be a failure" "you don't know that" I sigh "I know my limits very well, I cannot be any better" Joanna raise her voice "just try, if you belive you have nothing to lose then its a reason to try to find something, and if you never become anything you dream i would still be here for you but please try" i look at her eyes, shinning brigh, a warmth grow to my chest and i reply calmly "i will try, but i cant promise anything" "that enough for me to hear" she lean on my shoulder And i lean on her, whispering "thank you" with her eyes closed laughs and we both stay silent ,hearing our breaths and slowly feeling my heart calming, closing my eyes and feeling a warmth building inside my chest.
After a while seeing two cars coming one behind the other, I open my eyes and get up clearing my face and with a smile I give her my hand "let's go dance" Joanna at first look hesitant
But then she grabs it and follows me inside.
We dance and the others look at me from time to time, I grew a smile, feeling dizzy and sometimes laughing for no reason, Vasil comes to me first with fret on his face and then grew a forced smile and says "you drunk the half bottle" I shout "and I feel great "But it was the last cuo right?" I nod my head and he let a sigh of relief and we continue dancing.
As everyone starts feeling lethargic and sitting on the tables Alex says "that's enough for today, come on get up and let me drive you home" I open my half closed eyes and see Ellie and Joanna getting up and abruptly Vasil's hand in front of my eyes, I grab it and lift me and we go to the car.
As Alex drives us home and Joanna fall to my shoulder, and Ellie look at me with a smile and I reply with a shrug and half close eyes, the car stops, I carefully place Joanna on the other side of the seat and I get out and close the door
We go inside and wave at them and Vasil they leave,
I close the door and Vasil says "Lawrence, do you want to sit a bit more?" I nod my head as I close my eyes and go at him and stand beside him, he sigh "It was a nice night if you forget the whole thing with the drinks" I let an awkward laugh and Vasil say with a loud voice "but it could be worse, ay least you weren't like me that I fall to the ground vomiting" I wide open my eyes "what?" He looked at me with a smile "It was my first time drinking and I drank half a bottle of vodka" I laugh hysterically loud "it's a little ironic" "why is that?" I say as i laugh "You are a russian and you got knocked by vodka" he burst out laughing and me going a step further crossing my legs
and place his hand on his head "i haven't though it like that" i yawn loud enough for Vasil to draw his eyes immediately at me and he says "i better leabe you to get some sleep" i say with a loud voice "nonsense, i am full of energy" "but you better stop shouting before the neighbours come out" i look at the houses "oh right we are back" Vasil smirk but his cold eyes still look at me "better lets go sleep" i give him my hand and walk at the house crossing my legs many times and reacjing the door and opening it with the fifth try and sleep immediately.
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I wake up the next day, feeling like new and soon thinking about the last night with many times stumbling on chairs lr the furnitures, i eat and as i get ready the doorbell ring, I open it and see Vasil looking at me wtih a smile "good morning" i yawn "good morning" Vasil draws a bottle of water from his left hand behind his back "Lets go for a workout?" "Yes just wait a minute" he nod his head and I close the door get ready and going outside, seeing him laying his back on the iron bars and looking at me "let's go" we talk on the way laughing and talking about the times in our school, he then look in front of him and says "when we go back I will meet you my friends"
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