聽到洛青的名字,如老母親走走停停,四處打聽,好不容易聽聞外地求學的兒女消息,老嫗倏的抬頭,期盼的朝向陽看去。95Please respect copyright.PENANAoL1hmmO1P3
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向陽又啞了。95Please respect copyright.PENANAGSmclDhkDJ
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期待沉甸甸的砸在肩上,壓的他喘不過氣。以為自己做足了準備,卻在真正開口時又停了下來。95Please respect copyright.PENANAI3NgyOxL6a
95Please respect copyright.PENANACtyQ6iZi02
雨還在變大,周圍的景象在燈光和雨水的加持下模糊暈開。向陽握緊拳頭,半天憋不出一句話。過往的記憶被死亡與盼望打亂,要在其中挑揀出一張當作開頭,實在太過為難。95Please respect copyright.PENANAKNxnNRcBka
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許是從向陽的臉色中看出端倪,又或著數十年來經驗燽造的直覺,老嫗將手上的煤油燈遞給女孩,開口道:「幽幽,你先去那自己玩一會,奶奶等等再去找你。」95Please respect copyright.PENANAWLYrYMTrwG
95Please respect copyright.PENANAZBzpSrN0yy
聞言,幽幽重重點頭,抱起放在一邊的小傘,如一隻逃離挨罵現場的小狗,歡快的衝進雨中。95Please respect copyright.PENANACmTHCEzU6U
95Please respect copyright.PENANAneXzXUG8Ar
向陽轉頭望著她的背影被雨滴打散,還逃避似的不肯轉回去,只是承受著身後熾熱的目光。95Please respect copyright.PENANAlzFsfMhxzF
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這次,老嫗先開口道:「洛青,去世了對吧。」95Please respect copyright.PENANArtDr9xBAv7
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按耐住內心莫名出現的浮躁,向陽還是回首答道:「是。他──」95Please respect copyright.PENANAPIV99lQ7HP
95Please respect copyright.PENANAy9BuP7XlsC
預感到即將出現的長篇大論,老嫗有些蹣跚地轉身,擺了擺手,示意向陽跟上:「別淋雨了,進屋再說。」95Please respect copyright.PENANAtt56kAGKUj
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看著由門口散溢出的光,向陽頓在原地。95Please respect copyright.PENANAX3kZWoy9pk
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自從洛青在懷中死去後,他一直在質疑自己。95Please respect copyright.PENANABMaoKNgDR1
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明知事實不會改變,明知這麼做洛青定會傷心,還是忍不住一次又一次的以殺人兇手自稱。95Please respect copyright.PENANAZ0UIXMo9B7
95Please respect copyright.PENANAtYKbS5MpDd
飄忽不定的心在無罪與有罪間游離,每夜夢中都有無數聲音,說著「如果你在努力一點,他就不會死了」「都是你的錯,沒有發現他的計畫」......95Please respect copyright.PENANAfNFsDOa78Z
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「如果你沒有出現在世上,一切都不會發生」。95Please respect copyright.PENANAiUmdYh4OWO
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向陽想要贖罪,打一頓也好,罵一場也行,在需要做的事做完之後,被幾刀砍死也沒關係,可能到對岸還會被洛青說上幾句,痛一點,狠一點。95Please respect copyright.PENANA9MYvdhDMVE
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但陰影中的人,還是渴望光。95Please respect copyright.PENANAy3SqCTX9pr
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一束光照在眼前,小心翼翼地伸出手,害怕身上的黑暗汙染光源,百般測試後才畏畏縮縮的走進光照。95Please respect copyright.PENANARXuPopGpZo
95Please respect copyright.PENANA7v7HllmAdd
「快點進來,愣在那想什麼呢?」95Please respect copyright.PENANAb9z6tXMh5q
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耳邊響起老嫗不耐煩的催促聲,輕輕將向陽推向門。未來得及拒絕,鬼使神差的,回過神來人已經一腳踏進門內。95Please respect copyright.PENANAbKsFGNsDdz
95Please respect copyright.PENANAkm1LDgQX0N
屋內沒有窗戶,照明全靠兩盞煤油燈。邊上擺放著許多雜物,諸如兩人的衣物、餐具、摺疊桌椅等,隨處可見真實至極的生活痕跡。頂上另一盞燈晃晃悠悠,恰恰好涵蓋了整個屋子。房內雨滴打在鐵皮的聲響與外頭截然不同,如鈴鐺一般,陣陣撞擊心臟。95Please respect copyright.PENANAH8NtRHt8Hy
95Please respect copyright.PENANAH6IcSckcZC
眼見老嫗顫顫巍巍的去取凳子,死機的腦袋勉強運轉,趕緊上前幫忙。95Please respect copyright.PENANA9vawznwKJl
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聽洛青說,這樣似乎比較討人喜歡。95Please respect copyright.PENANAXBTv1y3HnQ
95Please respect copyright.PENANApJfrZ0kO44
邊想著邊將手上的折疊椅張開,放置於地面。椅子上有些鐵鏽,椅腳的螺絲鬆脫了幾個,帆布椅面經過多次使用清洗後,也漸漸退色。95Please respect copyright.PENANA67B5FQnPTC
95Please respect copyright.PENANASR0OEd3n6p
待到老嫗撐著拐杖坐穩,抬頭望著向陽,他才坐下。95Please respect copyright.PENANAChynJYjWPY
95Please respect copyright.PENANAWO3pSx9M2M
還不等向陽開口,老嫗就先說道:「我是陳桂栗,那孩子楊幽幽,也不知怎麼回事,把一陌生人帶回家裡,我之後定會教訓她。先談正事吧。你說,小青去世了?什麼時候?怎麼走的?」95Please respect copyright.PENANAr8gxNzsyhC
95Please respect copyright.PENANA7ciFqIovW2
老嫗的臉色從頭到尾都顯得風平浪靜,直到現在,急躁的漩渦才顯露頭腳。壓抑的眉毛忍不住緊緊皺成一坨,眼睛死死瞪著向陽,恨不得直接闖進記憶中窺看答案。95Please respect copyright.PENANA3LcszjEbt2
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在殘酷的真相與平和的說法間猶疑不定,最後才斟酌的開口道:「是在七天前,那場大戰中。他......在我懷裡,離開時臉上都帶著笑,大概是很安詳的吧。」95Please respect copyright.PENANAJTsHf3tl5v
95Please respect copyright.PENANAtMVt0unYoY
如X光般的銳利視線掃過,似是在驗證話語的真實性。半晌後,老嫗才道:「你是他進『遊戲』後交的朋友吧。跟我說說,他過得好嗎?」95Please respect copyright.PENANANyuKkYod2a
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「......過的很好,交到了不少朋友,還做了以前沒做過的事......」向陽猛地抬頭:「他的告別式在七天後,如果不介意,可以來參加。」95Please respect copyright.PENANAvtjsL3O7bO
95Please respect copyright.PENANAnlA9DabetN
「是嗎,到時候我定會去看的。」老嫗停頓了下,嘆口氣繼續說道:「你現在有時間嗎?有的話就聽我這老太婆嘮叨一下吧。有些話在心裡憋太久,就越發恐懼往後會遺忘,我也這麼大歲數了,也不想帶著這些入土。」95Please respect copyright.PENANA3iesIbnNGP
95Please respect copyright.PENANA4bAHEjSEwg
見向陽點頭道了聲「是」,老嫗閉上眼,似是將記憶深處的相冊挖出,讓它第一次攤開在陽光下。95Please respect copyright.PENANAVwawctwaVR
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「我和洛青的奶奶是朋友,那孩子從小身體就不太好,是個藥罐子,要不是他比常人聰明許多,他奶奶也十分堅持,恐怕早早就被放棄,選為『猴子』。他父母也是,什麼都好,就是人品差,明明娌鳶一生安貧樂道,怎麼就生出這不肖子呢?早些時候還好,娌鳶勉強管得住,可小青五歲時,她就過世了。那時候恰好是上學的年紀,可能因為智力差距,小青他從小就不太合群,三步五時往我這跑,也漸漸把我當成他奶奶了吧。」95Please respect copyright.PENANAPJLznfi9fg
95Please respect copyright.PENANAfwc4Esyngw
講到這,老嫗停了下,伸手去掏桌上的水壺,仰頭灌了幾口。95Please respect copyright.PENANA6x5HmrY4tE
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「他是個溫柔的孩子。」老嫗的聲音有些顫抖:「明明是那麼好的人,為什麼他們要這樣對他呢?」95Please respect copyright.PENANA9TqhlBI97o
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接著是一段漫長的沉默。95Please respect copyright.PENANAQQ8RheTQBU
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久到向陽以為自己需要回答問題。95Please respect copyright.PENANAfNY7vYtT2b
95Please respect copyright.PENANAGG3ZfRXInx
正想抬頭回應時,老嫗才開口,嘮嘮叨叨,將相片一張張拿出,指著每一處細節,講了很多、很久。兩盞昏暗燈光卻將房子照得通明,雨不曾停歇,「滴滴答答」的響,沙啞的聲音緩緩訴說往日時光。95Please respect copyright.PENANAdMnNQEaMm0
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時間流逝的很慢,向陽循著過往足跡一步步攀登向上,成了洛青一生的第二名見證者。95Please respect copyright.PENANAYwVMH5tJjJ
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最後,幽幽歡快的腳步聲打斷老人的回憶。95Please respect copyright.PENANAlCIisc2FL7
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「已經過這麼久了嗎......」看了眼時鐘,老嫗道:「謝謝你,年輕人,聽我講那麼多。」95Please respect copyright.PENANAY1UBSyvkwU
95Please respect copyright.PENANA8tHL9dONa8
向陽抬頭望著老嫗的臉道:「......不會。」95Please respect copyright.PENANAtvAkCXqpOy
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短短幾個小時間,老嫗彷彿蒼老了好幾十歲。時間長河中向後拉扯她的力量消失無蹤,水流迅速侵蝕變得柔軟的岩石,加深紋路。95Please respect copyright.PENANAej8eydjpJW
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然而她又好像輕鬆許多,肩上重擔隨著相簿的複製卸下,緊皺的眉頭也向外延展。95Please respect copyright.PENANA8GFieOORqX
95Please respect copyright.PENANAiQoX2p0HKL
蒼老卻帶著輕鬆笑意的聲音說道:「老婆子我活得挺長,自認看人也挺準,可能不久後就要走啦,幽幽就交給你了。」95Please respect copyright.PENANAAxw691qBIK
95Please respect copyright.PENANA7EZW2L4LhP
向陽一愣,連忙道:「可是......」95Please respect copyright.PENANAFlLgGatn8F
95Please respect copyright.PENANAdX35BnNjQY
飽經風霜的眼微微彎起,老嫗轉過頭說:「不用說了,我知道自己的身體。而且,我相信洛青是不會看錯人的。」95Please respect copyright.PENANAP0G9Wyen7m
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這次還未等向陽反駁,幽幽便提著那盞煤油燈走進來。95Please respect copyright.PENANAfm8weumK6z
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門外的世界已投入黑夜,見此,向陽連忙站起:「那個,我先回去了。」95Please respect copyright.PENANAIxNVuRbQT6
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老嫗微笑道:「如果想再來,隨時歡迎。需要燈嗎?」95Please respect copyright.PENANA2LKY3OEWUi
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向陽搖頭:「不用,我看得清。」95Please respect copyright.PENANAC3T18mwVcg
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說完便走向門口,關門前還和幽幽道聲再見。95Please respect copyright.PENANAmoWDzFvmJQ
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打開傘,天空與傘面融為一體。95Please respect copyright.PENANApfIhgAqacc
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在這雨夜中,身後小房子內不斷傳來幽幽興奮和奶奶分享所見所聞和老嫗的附和聲,煤油燈的微弱燈光還殘留在肌膚上,點亮漆黑的夜晚。95Please respect copyright.PENANA4RNQqImtwu
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「真是一個溫暖的雨夜呢。」95Please respect copyright.PENANAQmhSLY5y4r