Before we get started, I’ll introduce myself. My name is Peyton Delona Capone, I’m 14 years old and I live in Manhattan New York, I have an older brother named Parkland Delarosa Capone, Parker for short, and he’s 16. We aren’t normal brothers, we have a special relationship. Based on our circumstances the only way I learned love and felt safe was through my brother. If it doesn’t make sense now, it will later.
•
My day started off as all my days did. Recovering from the night before in my older brother’s arms. I’ll never understand why bad things happened to us. My brother, Parker, did everything for me, from my hair and teaching me good hygiene, all the way to buying me school clothes and school shoes. Our parents treated me like I was non existent until my dad needed someone to hit, and my mom needed someone to touch. If they weren’t doing those things to me I was invisible. This included all holidays, anytime they ate, anytime for anything outside of abuse.
•
My brother Parkland, was the school super star, him and his best friend Xzavier Bonanno, Zay for short, ran Rosevelt Highschool. Everyone loved them, they had million dollar smiles and stellar football careers. Me on the other hand, I was nobody. I was the freshman emo kid, we’re mixed and my parents never took interest in taking care of me. I’ve never had my hair cut so my jet black curls touch my lower back. If you didn’t know me, you’d assume I was a girl. I always wore joggers and my older brothers football or school event hoodie or shirt, with chucks or houseshoes and my hair stayed in a messy bun or French braids. After all it’s all Parker knew how to do. I never questioned how my brother or Zay made money. I always assumed it was from football.
We grew up speaking nothing but Spanish. My parents kept me out of school until this school year, so speaking English and sitting in a classroom were extremely new to me. Parker convinced them to stop homeschooling me and to let me go to school with him. It didn’t take much convincing, they washed their hands with me a long time ago. After they agreed to let me go to public school Parker spent the whole summer catching me up on 8 years of school. I was still relatively new to speaking English but I was book smart so it helped me out in the long run, you only had to teach me something once. Parker had his hookups due to him being a football star, instead of me being in regular classes I was I was in a class that focused on teaching me better English and teaching the subjects in the way I learned best.
•
I walked in the first day of school completely terrified. Rosevelt High was huge. I adjusted my backpack and stayed glued to Parker’s side. I gripped him as people ran up to him, cooed at me, shook his hand, and gave him high fives. My brother had managed to get me AirPods and the new iPhone, downloaded all my favorite music and plugged their numbers in for me to always reach them. It all sounded like an awesome idea, until now.
“Ok kitten, we’re here, this is your class. Remember I told you it’s to help you catch up, and make you feel safe?”
I nodded my head answering his question, instantly feeling safe at the use of my nickname. I felt him rub my back and I sank into his touch, he always made me feel safe.
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Being his little brother is the best thing in the world.
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I heard him chuckle to himself as I read the name on the door.
Mr. Maverick Milion, PsyD -Communication Specialist
I scrunched my nose up at the long title that followed his name. I felt Parker move me in front of him as he pushed open the door.
“Ah, Mr. Capone how are you this morning?” I didn’t have to look at Parker to know he was flashing that million dollar smirk he’s mastered oh so well.
“I’m doing ight. How about yourself?” I pushed my body weight into my older brother not to fond of the exchange taking place in front of me.
I didn’t like when people talked to my brother.. he was my bubba. I didn’t like the idea of other people smiling at him.
“I’m pretty good. You ready for the season?”
“Ha! Ready as I’ve ever been Mr. M you know better than anyone that’s the only reason I show up to this hell hole” Parker snorted out.
I was starting to grow annoyed with this conversation. I turned around and put my face in Parker’s side and wrapped my arms around his waist and started playing with the hem of his jacket. I didn’t want to be here. I didn’t like the fact this Mr.M thought he knew my brother. Nobody knows us. Except for Zay. I let my mind wonder off as Parker slid my Naurto backpack off my back. He was still talking to Mr.M but I knew he knew I wasn’t happy about this arrangement. I moved so I was standing behind him and wrapped my arms back around around him and slid my hands in his pockets.
I just wanted to be near him.
I watched as he set up my school supplies, laughing and socializing with Mr.M when my backpack was empty he slumped in on the hook behind us, he pulled my matching Naurto lunchbox out the front of it and handed it to Mr.M. Without thinking I snatched it back and held it to my chest. I looked up at Parker and felt my eyes fill with tears.
I know we talked about me going to school, and being separated from him. But being separated from him and talking about it are two different things. I didn’t want him to leave.
I saw his facial expression soften at my emotions. He was significantly taller than me, he wrapped his arms around me and rubbed my back, this was all it took, the tears of frustration I had been holding in came flooding out of me.
“Bubba” I choked out
I felt him rub my back as he placed his hand around the back of my neck and made me look at him.
“Hey hey hey, we talked about this remember? What did bubba tell you?”
“That - you were gonna come see me at lunch and before practice” I sobbed out. He reached up and wiped my tears as he smiled softly at me.
“Thats right baby. Has bubba ever left you? Have I ever not come back for you?”
I shook my head no, he had a point after all. He’s always kept his word.
“Exactly kitten so why would that change now? I brought you here so you’d be closer to me during the day. Plus you have a phone, you can text me when you finish your work and on your breaks baby. I’m not going anywhere. Here.”
I watched as he reached in my backpack and handed me my stuffed kitten we’d made at build-a-bear the weekend before.
I held my hands out and pulled Paprika to my chest. Parker pulled me back into his arms and continued rubbing my back.
“You’ll be okay kitten. Bubba is coming back. Okay?”
Nodding my head in agreement I let Parker wipe the rest of my tears. He turned me around with his arm still around my chest.
“Can you say hi to Mr.M?” I felt my face get hot as I looked the man infront of me over.
He was gorgeous. He had a knowing look on his face, almost as if he could read me and my brothers relationship.
I waved quickly and turned back into Parker.
I heard them both chuckle as I blushed profusely.
“Do you want to take a seat love? That way Parker can get to class?”
I looked up and saw Mr.M had his hand extended, I finally took the time to look at my surroundings. There was only one desk, in front of his. There were tons of books, and two bean bags, a futon and TV. It looked nothing like the classrooms I saw online.
I took his hand and let him lead me to the desk. I gripped Paprika and slid into the desk.
“See? Wasn’t so bad was it?” He smiled out.
I felt my blush return and I looked back at my brother. He walked over to me and kissed me on the forehead.
”I’ll see you at lunch babyboy. I love you so much and I’m so proud of you.” I let out a soft purr loving the praise I was getting as I leaned into his touch. He crouched down and hugged me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed it gently as he stood up.
“I love you kitten.”
“Love you bubba” I responded.
I watched as Parker walked out the door and I turned to catch Mr.M already looking at me.
I instantly looked down feeling inferior to his eyes that were locked on me.
“It’s just me and you okay love? I heard your situation and offered to help you through your school journey okay? So I’ll be here every step of the way. How about you tell me a little bit about yourself?”
I nodded as I finally worked up the courage to look at him.
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