Doctor Mary:170Please respect copyright.PENANADuyz1LUOBB
Something has been happening to Shirley that would have been unthinkable a few months ago. Shirley was mean to anyone who was different. He had no tolerance or empathy for others. He broke Logan's arm for being transgender. Yet, in the last week, he has dressed as a girl and even wore a diaper. Now the big question I have is what going on in his head. Why did he dress as a baby girl and use a pacifier and a stuffie? Is this because he has no parents to influence him with their biased views? Some readers have said it could be to get Aunty to like him. If this is true, why would he do something like this? Some readers say that maybe he was a bully as it was a way he could suppress that deep down in him, he feels he should have been born a girl. So many questions and the only answer is to see which road Shirley takes.
Austin:170Please respect copyright.PENANAfj0wePjjVY
Shirley has been acting so strange lately. He tried to act so tough and cool when he started here. That was a bit funny as he is so tiny and looks so frail like a bug could beat him up. This has all changed. He no longer has outbursts or threatens anyone. Maybe this is a good thing. Maybe he can be likeable now. At the same time, it is strange. Is he this way because he is not well, afraid, or just subdued? I have also noticed that he now sleeps with a pacifier and a stuffie. When I asked him, he just responded that he had been dreaming about a girl who wore a diaper. Then he admitted that the girl in his dreams was him. What sort of answer is this? Does he consider himself to be a girl that is a baby? That is totally weird. If Shirley thinks he is a baby girl, then he has some mental problems and needs help.
Susan:170Please respect copyright.PENANAFabdzgBkLu
Shirley wanted to play dress up once again. He wanted to be a baby girl once again. I told him that I did not want to do this. To be honest, it feels wrong. I only wore diapers because I wet the bed, but it seemed wrong that a boy Shirley's age wanted to wear one and pretend that he was a girl. I did not tell him this but just told him that I did not want to play that game. At first, Shirley was begging me to do it. He even had tears in his eyes. These tears ended in Shirley crying. He left the room and told me that he thought I understood. I did not understand him. Why would a boy beg me to let him dress as a girl and wear a diaper? I did not see Shirley for the rest of the day.
Jason:170Please respect copyright.PENANAUCyt6S4HKi
Aunty was taking me to her office as she was mad at me for something. As we were walking by Susan's room, I heard Shirley crying and begging to wear a dress. This must have been my imagination. No way would a boy who wanted to be known as a cool boy ever wear a dress. At any rate, my instinct was that Shirley was not the person I thought he was. Maybe it's the influence of Austin.
Aunty:170Please respect copyright.PENANAGtEBL4savH
I heard Shirley beg to wear a dress. This does not surprise me. I believe that the girl that he dreams about is his mind telling him that this is who he should be. Shirley may act like a macho, but deep down there was a girl trying to get out. All his life, he must have been fighting to suppress his femininity. Since he came here, he has let his true self come forth. I think that deep down, that Shirley is transgender. He wants to be considered as a girl. I had to think of how he could be supported. I do not want people to think that I have manipulated or brainwashed him. I just do not know if I should get involved or just let him find his identity himself.
Shirley:170Please respect copyright.PENANAjwZBieiZ65
I have officially gone crazy and I do not care. I am slowly becoming the girl in my dreams. It's not just so that Aunty will notice me and like me, although that is also good. When I wore a diaper and dress that day in Susan's room, I never felt as happy as I was then. When she wouldn't let me be a baby a few days ago, I felt so devastated. I started crying! I know it's crazy and not normal to want to be the girl in my dreams. But I also have learned that happiness is more important than being normal. I want to be the girl in my dreams. I am wise enough that I do so in private so no one ever finds out. I no longer even wanted Susan to see this side of me. I snuck into her room a few days ago and snuck two diapers from her bag. I suppose you can say that this was stealing, but I did not consider it bad. It's not as if Susan needs them anymore. I have been trying the diapers on alone when I was alone. Think of all the people I bullied, Like I did with Logan! What would they be saying if they could see me now?
Aunty:170Please respect copyright.PENANARP35zxYuXd
I will not push Shirley one way or the other way. But I am intrigued by him and would love to know what is going on in his head. I asked him today should get his hair cut. Shirley spent a lot of time thinking and said that he would like to try long hair. When I asked him why, his only answer was that change is good. I told him that he could hang out in my office and we could chat about things. This seemed to have surprised him as he told me that he was never allowed to hang around with him. I had to smile at this. He was right. I did not want to tell him that he was suddenly interesting. Would I have thought he was interesting if he said that we wanted short hair?
Logan:170Please respect copyright.PENANA8hYzwJm0XU
Remember me, I was the foster brother that Shirley had before he was sent to the orphanage. He terrorised me which included breaking my arm because he did not like that I am transgender. I tried to visit him a few weeks ago and he did not want me to do that. Now I received a letter from him. I had to read it a few times as it did not sound like the Shirley that I knew. In the letter, he apologized for the way that he treated me and hoped that one day I would forgive him. He invited me to visit him if I wanted. Shirley mentioned that he was changing and had no one to talk to. He knew that I could help him. This seemed interesting and made me think about what problems he is having. A part of me was also thinking if this could be a trick. Could I trust a boy that made my life a living hell at one stage?
Austin:170Please respect copyright.PENANAoGtgbdxn8l
I am still getting bullied by Jason and his friends. They accuse me of being gay. I suppose you want to know if I am gay. I will not admit if I am gay or not. I do not think that it is anyone's business what I am. Even if am gay, it does not give anyone any right to bully me. What do I do that makes people think I am that way? I will not go crying to Aunty as I am no snitch. It's hard for me and I am always worried about when I would be bullied next and how. Maybe I should start lifting weights. Shirley has been very supportive. He told me that he used to bully people like me and now he knows better. Shirley told me that if there was any way that he could support me, to let him know. I thought this was a kind gesture. There was not much he could do. Shirley is tiny for his age and has no muscle in his body. At the same time, I know he has courage and he even beat up children before he came here. His support means a lot to me. It's always nice having someone on your side.
Susan:170Please respect copyright.PENANAIuMdLOf2fv
I am very worried about my friend. Shirley has not spoken to me since I told him that I did not want to play dress up with him. I feel as if I have done the right thing. Still, I missed him. So I went to his room and knocked on the door. Shirley told me not to come in as he was getting dressed. I thought I heard him cursing on the other side of the door. When he did let me in, he was wearing shorts and a tank top. Austin was not there. Shirley was in a good mood and talked as if nothing happened a few days ago. When I asked him if he was mad at me, he smiled and assured me that we were best friends forever. I could see things were not totally back to normal. I could see the top of a diaper over the top of his shorts. At first, I thought that this was not the case until I could see how bulky his shorts were. There was no doubt that my friend was wearing a diaper. He most likely took one of mine. Was it my fault that he was acting more and more like a baby? I went back to my room and the first thing I did was throw the bag of diapers out.
Miss Hawthorne:170Please respect copyright.PENANAKgGLq4cztj
Aunty came into my office today and told me that she was worried. She thinks that Shirley is transgender and does not know if she should support him or not. I know why she was afraid. She manipulated her nephew to act and dress like a girl. In a way, she brainwashed him. She did not want people to think she found a new victim. The thing is that Aunty would love if this boy was a sissy boy. She does not like ordinary boys but has a weakness with feminine boys. I think that Aunty has to figure out how she will deal with this. I suspect that Shirley will be getting a lot of attention from Aunty. I remember that he was a troublemaker, maybe some femininity could make him more human and nicer to be with. I heard how boys get petticoated. This would have been a way of making him a sweet boy. Then again, it's easier if it's not a punishment and he decides himself.
Susan:170Please respect copyright.PENANAyryVjy2T8j
I threw out the diapers but today when I wanted to wear an old summer dress I had, I could not find it. My thoughts were that maybe I got rid of it long ago because it was getting small. My second thought was that it would fit Shirley. There is no way that a boy would sneak into my room to borrow or steal a dress. Well, he took some of my diapers that I used when I wet the bed. Shirley was not himself. He has been acting like a baby and at times a girl. What was happening to him? I felt bad as he obviously did not want to confide in me. Maybe this is because I did not want him to wear a dress. It's just not normal, is it? I know some boys are girly, but Shirley always tried to be a macho boy who had very little tolerance. Now he was acting like one of the boys he would have hated just a few weeks ago.
Aunty:170Please respect copyright.PENANANi6tCauwDW
I talked with Susan today and asked her if she noticed that Shirley was acting strange. She told me about the diaper he took and she suspects he took a dress. I told Susan that Shirley was finding out who he was. I believe that he is transgender and until now has tried to subdue these feelings. Maybe this was the reason that he was so aggressive with others. I also believe that he is regressing, as he is happier acting like he is younger. The reason could be that he feels safer or it reminds him of happier times. At any rate, it is now that Shirley needs our understanding and support.
Shirley:170Please respect copyright.PENANAX9X2npZSic
I now sleep with a pacifier and my stuffy. I know this is strange for someone my age. I like it and it makes me happy. Maybe this is why I am so small. I am not ready to act my age yet. I am wondering how far I will take this. Do I want everyone to see me as a baby? Is my happiness more important than what others think? One thing I have noticed is that Aunty seems to like me more now.
Victoria Temple:170Please respect copyright.PENANApFn3TE3eTH
Thanks for reading this part. I hope you will comment. What would you do if you were Aunty? I hope to see you in the next part of “Orphan Petal"