Prologue
POV: Raven
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Hugh, pick up. Please pick up, please pickup... I repeat to myself. Rivers of tears stream down my face onto the Manila envelope I’m strangling in my hand. The return address is Dexter's attorney's office, and the envelope's contents promise heartache and pain. I have been dreading this for the last six months. I called Hugh, so I wouldn’t have to endure it alone.
When he answers the call, his soothing voice interrupts my pacing.
“Hey, baby girl. Miss me already?” I can feel him smiling through the phone. "I’m in a meeting now, so I can't talk. But are we still on for drinks when I get back to town tomorrow night, right? I can't wait to—” Hugh pauses mid-sentence when the whimpers I’ve been trying to suppress, come tumbling forward in a mutiny I can't explain or control.
“What's wrong, baby girl?” Hugh asks.
Unable to respond, I can only cry. His muffled voice excuses himself and announces that he will be back after he accepts my call.
“Breathe, Raven. Honey, inhale.” He draws deep breaths himself, encouraging me to mimic him. “Hang on, I’m heading to another room, so we can talk. Keep breathing.”
I take air into my lungs and expel it in synchrony with him, and I walk over to the couch to sit down.
“That's it sweetie, good girl,” he champions.
I hear a door close on the other end of the phone. When all the other noise deadens around him, he speaks again.
“Tell me what happened?” he demands.
“This sounds like a terrible time. I didn't mean to interrupt something significant. I can call back —
Before I can continue my blubbering apology, he interrupts me. “Sweetheart there is nothing more essential to me than you...” He pauses for a moment, giving me an opportunity to calm down and absorb the sincerity of his words. “Tell me.”
“I got the papers today,” I sniffle through my reason for calling. He curses under his breath.
I throw the envelope on the coffee table and grab the Kleenex box before placing the phone between my shoulder and my cheek. I sob, crossing my legs Indian style on the lounge.
“What can I do for you, honey, how can I make this better?”
His husky voice takes me off guard. I stiffen in surprise at my body's carnal reaction to it. The low pitch and hoarse sound of his words vibrate in-between my thighs. I squirm a little on the uttering, trying to adjust to this unfamiliar sensation. I take a few unsolicited breaths, grateful that he can't see me. Not only am I a sniveling mess, but I’m also confused why my entire body is tingling.
What is happening? Hugh is my friend. One of my best friends. There is no way there’s something more. I think to myself, concluding that this unknown emotion must be an aftershock to the finality of my relationship with Dexter. I have lost all perspective.
I shake my head into compliance. Whatever rational thinking I have left, needs to evict all impure thoughts from my subconscious. They are not welcome.
Hugh clears his throat to mask the uncomfortable silence now plaguing our conversation. "Are you still there?” he asks.
“Yes. I mean, No...” I take a deep breath, sighing my frustration. I stumble through my answers to his questions.
“Yes, I’m here, and No, there is nothing you can do. I just needed to hear your voice,” I whisper, wiping remaining tears from my eyes.
“Are you sure, sweetie? I will do anything...”
His words are so full of promise. My heart bangs against my chest, and the butterflies in my stomach dance. Hugh always knows how to make me feel better, how to take my mind off things. He’s been my rock during the arduous times in my marriage. And even afterwards when Dexter and I got a divorce. Whenever I felt down or alone, pizza and a case of beer was the cure. We would sit for hours and talk until I fell asleep in his arms. I wouldn’t have made it through this without him.
“Yes, I’m sure. Stay in Los Angeles and finish up your business. I should be able to survive today on my own”.
I try sounding convincing. If he knew how much I needed him, he would take the first flight back because that is who he is, but I don't need that. He loves conquering the world and making deals, and I don't wish to interfere with that.
Hugh takes a minute to respond. “Promise me you will call your sister and have her stay with you.”
I roll my eyes when he mentions Vivian because all she will do is tell me I’m better off without Dexter, I can hear her condescending voice now. “You shouldn't have married that prick anyway... and you better not be crying over his ungrateful ass either!” I smile a little thinking about her undying loyalty, however, that is the last thing that I need today.
“Maybe I will call Lola instead,” I lie. Although my best friend Lola is the only other person in my life that can cheer me up, I would much rather be at home alone drinking a glass of wine with my heartache.
He laughs. “I understand... I just don't want you to be alone.”
“I know Hugh, but I guess alone is my new reality... “I will have to get used to it,” I respond, looking at the divorce papers on the coffee table.
“As long as I’m alive you will never be alone, Raven. I've got you, baby girl.” Strong and controllable emotions saturate his response.
“I love the way you take care of me, Hugh. In fact, you’ve already made me feel a little better.” I smile.
He sighs in relief. “Really?”
“Yes. I will be cool, I promise. Finish up there and I will see you tomorrow night.”
My heart hurts with my deception because I am nowhere near fine, but I don't want him to worry.
“Okay...” He consents before taking a staggered breath. “And Raven?”
“Yes, Hugh?”
“You are an extraordinary woman and any man would be lucky to have you.... it's his loss.”
With those words, fresh tears fall because his validation means everything. “If you were here, Hugh Daniels, I would give you a big fat kiss,” I whisper through my teardrops.
“Hmm.... huh. Well now, that’s something to hope for,” He responds in a soft, confident tone.
Before I question his last statement, I hear a hushed voice on his end, reminding him he has people waiting.
He clears his throat. “Duty calls, baby girl. I will call you soon.”
“See you tomorrow, Hugh... and stop calling me baby girl!” I giggle, before hanging up the phone.
I spend the rest of my day with my attorney, going over the papers again before signing on the dotted line. And just like that, all the time that Dexter and I spent together, and all the dreams we shared are dissolved into a pile of nothingness... all with the stroke of a pen.
After I leave my attorney’s office, I stand on the corner of Madison Avenue feeling lost, and dare I say it? All alone. I pull out my phone and call Lola, because despite my bold thoughts earlier about being by myself, the last event I want right now is to be drinking solo in my apartment tonight. So, if I can't have Hugh, Lola is the next best option.
