POV: Raven
Bam! Bam! Bam! I knock on the door of Lola's apartment, desperate to talk to her about everything that happened tonight.
Seeing Hugh for the first time in over two years, and having him issue ultimatums about my life, and then having his lips on mine... left me unbalanced the entire night. I imagine that was Hugh's plan all along when he kissed me. Greg noticed my distracted behavior and suspected that Hugh's presence at the restaurant had more of an impact on me than I was letting on.
Greg and I have only been dating for 4 months, and our being together is more of an arrangement than an affair. He felt threatened enough to interrogate me about my affections for Hugh. He wanted to know what our connection was. Greg admitted that he had genuine feelings for me, but he did not want to come between me and Hugh if we were a “thing.”
After convincing him on the ride to the dance club, that there is nothing between me and Hugh and that he had nobody to worry about, I thought we were in a good place when we arrived at the bar. We stayed for a while and danced and everything was fine, until my preoccupation with thoughts of Hugh's hands all over me, his lips on mine and the way his erection felt when I wrapped my legs around his waist, gave me away.
Mistakenly, I whispered Hugh's name when my eyes were closed on the dance floor while Greg cupped my ass. At that moment, Greg conceded to defeat and agreed to take me home. He said that he was tired of competing with my subconscious thoughts and to call him if I still wanted to see him. I apologized and explained that this thing with Hugh was part of my past and confessed that we had some unfinished business. But I assured him that this will not affect my decision on Friday. It relieved him to hear that, but I could tell that some damage has been done.
As soon as he dropped me off, I took an Uber to Lola's for some much-needed girlfriend therapy, but I didn't bother to call to confirm whether she is at home. I hope that she did not spend the night with some random boy toy because I need her.
“Lola, are you here?! Open up!” I whisper with my cheek to the door, before knocking again, urgent this time.... Still no answer.
Dammit!” I curse aloud as I twist my body against the door until my back rest on the hinged wooden barrier that is separating us. I close my stinging eyes shut to stifle the tears as I reach in my purse for my phone.
“Please, Lola, be home...” I beg as the sound of the deadbolt unlocking on the other side, rending instant relief. I lean forward, turning around as Lola appears in the doorway with an irritated expression plastered on her face. When she sees the state that I’m in, her demeanor transforms from annoyance to one of compassion and empathy.
“Raven? What's wrong, honey? I thought you were out with Greg.”
I hurry past her without saying a word and rush into her kitchen to open the refrigerator. She shuts the door and follows behind me in a line of procession. I take out a bottle of silver wine, and she shadows my intentions by fetching two flute glasses from the cabinet before setting them on the island.
“Raven what's wrong? Why aren't you on your date?” Lola asks again with caution coating her voice. She looks at the clock on the wall while I pour white liquor in both flutes. She tries to be patient while I guzzle the Chardonnay in one long sip, but a repressed sigh betrays her. When I reach for the second glass, Lola raises her eyebrows in scrutiny as I drink all of its contents too.
“Okay. Ra-v-en... honey? Did Greg do something I have to kick his ass for? Or did that bastard Dexter hurt you? What the hell happened? You are scaring me.”
I shake my head as tears roll down my face... emotions I’ve been holding back all night because I didn't want Greg to know that Hugh affected me so much. But if I’m being honest with myself, these cracks have been on hiatus ever since Hugh left me years ago.
I ease the glass on the table, taking paced breaths, before answering Lola's questions. “Hugh happened,” I blurt out as her jaw drops in surprise.
“Hugh? I thought you were supposed to be meeting Dexter?” She lets out a labored breath and rolls her eyes, now understanding why I darkened her doorstep at this late hour.
“Well according to Hugh, Dexter was too angry about the launch and about the hidden message in #6 to come and see me. So, he urged Dexter to stay behind, and he came in his place...”
“Humph...” she grunts before pouring some wine in a cup for herself. “But Hugh wasn't supposed to—” She cuts her sentence off before bringing her drink to her mouth, silencing the statement she was about to make. She looks away from me, deep in thought about something before staring at me with veiled eyes over the brim of the cup. She opens her mouth like she wants to say something but thinks better of it.
Before I can interrogate her about her restricted words, she places the glass on the peninsula, licks her lips and asks me the one query that I’m not prepared to answer.
“How did you feel when you saw him, Raven?”
“I swallow hard, before pulling a stool from underneath the kitchen island to sit down. I fidget with my fingers because I have never spoken to Lola about depths of my feelings for Hugh, hell, I just discovered these emotions when he kissed me the night of the divorce.
“When I first met Hugh, our spirits connected, and I soon recognized that something inside me was searching for him... always needing him and I couldn't quantify it or explain it. I didn't feel like we had to. But when he left me, I understood that he took a piece of me with him and I never felt whole again. Every day without him was a constant confirmation of the emotions I tried so hard to deny, and I observed that the feeling that I couldn't describe was passion. There was an ache and a desolation that I never could give an account for, and it tortured me daily until I saw him again tonight. The moment that I laid eyes on him again, the emptiness disappeared and was replaced by another throbbing... one of hope and desire, and it scared the hell out of me, Lola.”
I watch Lola's face as heat rise to my cheeks. Tears stream with my confession. I told Lola we kissed two years ago, but everything else has been a secret kept between me and my heart... until now.
“Why didn't you tell me all of this before sweetheart? I always noticed that he felt something deeper than friendship for you, but I never realized how much you cared for him. So, you have feelings for him.... Is that dreadful?'
“YES! It is a terrible thing! He abandoned me. The fairy tale your imagining does not exist. He doesn't care about me, or he would have never done that to me!” I yell through my tears as she rushes to my side. “And now, he might have ruined my chances with Greg.”
“How so?” Lola asks.
“Greg felt that there was something between me and Hugh at the restaurant, but I convinced him otherwise, that is until we danced at the club... I kind of whispered Hugh's name while he held me in his arms.”
I squint my eyes closed preparing for whatever backlash I’m about to receive.
“Oh my God, Raven. You didn't,” Lola gasps as I squeeze my eyes tighter and nod my head, too ashamed to glance at her.
“Exactly. That is why I won’t let him inside my brain again... I can't trust him after the way he left me the last time.”
“Are you sure? Maybe he had a moral reason for leaving. I think he cares for you more than you know.”
“Are you defending him?” I stare at her in shock, pushing away from the table, standing to my feet. “He doesn't get to move back into my heart and tell me what I can and cannot do. I despise him for what he did to me and I loathe that he has returned just to turn my life upside down in one night. To hell with Hugh and his reasons.” I sink into the embrace as she cradles me while I cry.
“Shh. It's okay honey. I’m so sorry. I didn't mean to push.” Lola rocks me back and forth in her arms until I settle down. She hands me a Kleenex and kisses the top of my head.
“Thanks for listening, Lola, but I have to get home. I need to be at the office early tomorrow to do some damage control. I hope, I haven't scared Greg away. He was the one I wanted to complete this bucket list with. And if Hugh ruined this for me—”
Lola places her hands on my shoulder as she looks into my eyes. “Nope. You are in no condition to be alone tonight; you are staying with me.”
I swing my head in opposition. “Oh no I’m not. I don't wish to think about Hugh anymore and you seem adamant about taking his side tonight. What gives?”
“She ignores my question and takes my hand. “We don't have to explore your connection with Hugh anymore if you don't want to. I didn't realize how much he hurt you,” Lola whispers as she walks me to the sofa. “I will get some blankets, pop some popcorn, and we will talk about anything and everything... if it doesn't have to do with Hugh or Dexter. Okay?”
“Deal.” I nod in agreement, flopping down on the couch to cuddle with pillows while she leaves to hunt down supplies.
“What I wouldn't do for some pizza and beer right about now,” I murmur to myself as a fresh set of tears emerge.
“After about an hour of mindless gossip, I feel myself drifting to sleep as Lola's phone rings. “Mm... are you going to get that?' I stammer, between slow breaths before submitting to the exhaustions that has been plaguing me since I arrived.
“Go to sleep sweetie... I'll be right back.” I nod in compliance as she spreads a blanket over me. My body’s surrender is swift, giving in to the dragging sleep that closes my eyelids...
******************
I’m drifting in and out of my hibernation when I feel Hugh's warm hands massaging my entire body. My eyes are still closed, but I remember how he touched me at the restaurant. I will recognize his touch anywhere. I don't know how he got into Lola's apartment or what he thinks he’s doing, but all I’m sure of is that I don't want him to stop.
“The way you looked in that red mini dress and those heels, drove me crazy baby girl. I could not sleep thinking about all the things I wanted to do to you in because of that damn outfit. I want to know how it feels to be inside you. This is all your fault. You left me no choice but to come to you,” Hugh whispers, trailing his soft lips along my shoulders.... until the light butterfly kisses traveled down my back.
My brain is telling me to stop him, but my heart just sends a low wail to my throat, giving Hugh the permission that he needs. I feel his smile on my spine as he continues his erotic assault. He turns me over, before removing my lace bra and panties, and that's when I know he means business. He doesn't waste time after my moan of submission.
My body shivers, responding to the urgency in his eyes, and in reaction to my desire. My innocence and vulnerability seem to please him as his hand plays with my erect nipples.
“Good Girl... I want to savor every part of you, but I need to taste you first... is that okay, baby girl?” I hear him declare as I nod my head in consent, unable to speak. The intensity of his eyes have compelled me and locked me into agreement... I cannot say no, even if I wanted to.
“You look so beautiful baby girl,” Hugh groans as he places small kisses on my ankles, moving upward to my legs, sucking and nibbling his way to my thighs, until his mouth reaches my clit.
I draw in a breath and shift my hips, expecting his lips on my nub. He licks my clit in a circular motion as I push my pelvis deeper into his tongue, so he can taste all of me. I whimper and twist in pleasure as he grabs my ass, pulling me closer as he caresses me quicker.
I scream in ecstasy as he places my legs on his shoulders, so he can suck me harder. My body vibrates and trembles as Hugh pulls my clit into his mouth, applying pressure with his tongue. I can barely hold in my screams as I explode into a million pieces while his tongue returns to its torture. He tries to keep me still as he nibbles at my clit with his teeth, propelling me into a second orgasm.
As I'm basking in the beauty and expectancy of the moment, I’m startled by a beeping noise that infiltrates my calm. My eyes pop open and my heart races as I swivel my head around the apartment in bewilderment.
“What the...?” I ask myself as the beeping gets louder. I sit up, breathing erratically, searching for the commotion that interrupted my salacious dream, and to make sure I’m alone. I realize that the beeping sound is coming from my phone alarm.
“What in the world? Now you are taking over my dreams, Hugh?” I whisper to myself, wiping the perspiration from my forehead, only to notice that my entire body is wet. I reach over and grab some Kleenex from the coffee table to dry myself a little before walking around Lola's condo to gather my things, so I can go home, shower and head into the office.
When I get to the exit of the residence, I turn toward Lola's bedroom door, thinking that maybe I should wake her before I take off. But I think better of it because I don't want her to psychoanalyze this entire situation. I need to understand what’s happening before Lola puts her spin on things. Once I figure out what I’m feeling, then I’ll talk to Lola about it.
So, I open the door and leave without saying a word.
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