Sans adjusted his fuzzy blue earmuffs before he manipulated the controls of the camera crane. As the camera rose through the floor of the studio, the assembled crowds let out a roar of anticipation for the coming show. Fortunately, the earmuffs blocked out most of the outside noise, allowing Sans to listen via earpiece (attached to the side of his head via sticky putty) as a loud energetic voice said, "Live from the Underground and broadcast around the world, welcome to this exciting episode of Mettatonight!"
Lights flared around the stage, revealing a backdrop of a moonlit city and a large desk with a garishly pink top. Sans focused his camera on Mettaton as the glamorous robot strutted across the stage and gave a few poses to his audience before sitting down at the desk. To the side of the stage, a small band played his entrance theme, a snappy jazz number that even Sans admitted was quite catchy.
"Thank you, darlings!" Mettaton said, pausing momentarily to blow a kiss to the audience. "We've got a great show for you tonight. Happycat and the Niscreamers will be here a bit later playing their latest hit song, 'Rageburger', followed by the comedy duo known as DoubleDrake. After that we'll see Let's Players and internet personalities Chris and Andy Vaughn of Scumm of the Earth, who've brought a sneak preview of their new game, 'Phasmophobia III: In Search of the Wooly Booger', and finally the Ebott Buttercup dancers will be by to charm us with their delightful footwork. Before that, however, we have an extra special guest here to show us a few clips from what will no doubt be the hit movie of the year, 'Mettacrisis: Metal heroine unplugged'. Ladies, gentlemonsters, and humans, let's give a big hand to Mettatette!"
Sans shifted his camera to record the arrival of Mettatette. Once nothing more than the broken head of the Mettaton from the universe Sans found himself in after a strange force separated him and Glenda Soleil Adams in mid-shortcut, the Alphys of their current universe had rebuilt the entertainment android. It was a surprise to everyone when it turned out Mettaton requested a female body. Sans was supportive; it was her body after all.
Mettatette's curvy form strolled casually across the stage in a stunning red dress, taking time to pose just as much as her host before taking a seat beside the desk.
"Looking beautiful, darling!" Mettaton said, leaning over and giving her a kiss on the cheek.
"Oh, stop it, you." Mettatette said, her metal cheeks turning slightly gold.
To the surprise of almost no one, Mettaton and Mettatette quickly became a couple. Some were bothered, seeing as they were technically the same person, but Sans thought it was hilarious. He'd often joked about his own Mettaton only finding love in a mirror, and it seemed to him that's exactly what happened.
"Darling, you simply must tell us about your exciting new movie." Mettaton said. "After that magnificent preview, we're positively agog with excitement!"
"Well, I can't say too much, but this is a thrilling tale of adventure and excitement about a traveler from another dimension who finds herself in a world that's all too familiar. There's action, sword-fights, magic, and inter-dimensional horrors and of course a gorgeous heroine."
The studio laugh almost overpowered the pre-recorded laugh track. Most of the peoples of UNDR-Ground Studios found the antics of the two robots quite funny, and even the most jaded critic had to admit that both bots benefitted from the other's presence. Their relationship had a sort of competitiveness to it that made both constantly push themselves. Sometimes this led to fantastic ideas, other times it made them make public fools of themselves. Regardless of this, their dedication to giving their all was inspiring to humans and monsters alike.
The rest of the show went as it always did. The band was a little shaky in the middle, and DoubleDrake had to work a bit to warm up the crowd, but the Phasmophobia demo went over really well, as did the action-packed clips of Mettatette's movie. Sans couldn't help but smile as he watched the preview; there was definite influence from their own escape from the reality Glen's dimensional analyzer identified as F-83, most notably the race from Dreemurr Fortress with the ichor closing in after them, only with Mettatette helping along Wolfred rather than Sans assisting Grillby.
Sans didn't mind. The unpleasant events of that other reality were now a fading memory in comparison to the world they'd discovered in reality H-7. It was something of a shock to discover that the Underground of that dimension was in fact a massive recording studio, and that the barrier had already been destroyed following a very publicized dance battle between Frisk the Fantastic and a mysterious bossun known as 'Petalstorm'.
With the barrier gone, the UNDR-Ground was able to transmit to the entire planet. Much to their delight, the planet loved the monsters often off-beat television programs. Monstermania swept across the world, and within a few short months, UNDR-Ground was the next Hollywood. Sans glanced around the audience, noting quickly that humans made up more than half of those seated.
"Aaaand that's a wrap." Said a voice in Sans's earpiece. Nodding, Sans shut off his camera and lowered the crane. He slipped out of the chair only to find himself waiting below.
"Heya, buddy." Said ComicSans, lowering his glasses. "Good show, eh?"
"Couldn't tear my eye-sockets away." Sans replied while pulling the earpiece from his head. "You gotta hand it to Mettaton; there's nothing artificial about his success."
"Ha!" Sans said, "And some people thought he was all droid up."
They shared a chuckle at the pun for a moment before Sans asked, "I heard they had you lined up for the stand-up portion of the show. Something happen?"
"Eh, wasn't feelin' it." ComicSans said with a shrug. "Besides, I'm getting ready for a big tour on the surface. Sans's Skele-TON of laughs!"
Sans chuckled and shook his head. "You'll knock 'em dead."
"Thanks." ComicSans said. "Y'know, you could come along; I'm sure we could think of some pretty cool pranks to play, seeing as we look almost alike."
"Thanks, but no thanks." Sans said. "I'd rather stay UNDR-Ground for the time being.
"I had a feelin'." After a moment of silence, ComicSans said, "C'mon. Let me buy you lunch."
"Sure." Sans said, following his alternate self through the now-deserted audience seating.
While most of the area that was New Home in Sans's home dimension was devoted to the UNDR-Ground studios, Snowdin and Waterfall were pretty much just the same, save for the occasional billboard for shows such as Undyne's True Knight Challenge, Teatime with the King, and the ever popular Temmieworld, a gripping fantasy drama of romance, bloodshed, and adventure.
They walked through Waterfall, stopping occasionally when ComicSans was recognized by a fan. Sans was glad his alternate self was such a popular celebrity, but it always bothered him that no one ever seemed to confuse Sans and Comic Sans when they looked almost alike. Sure, ComicSans had is burgundy suit and loud polka-dot tie while Sans kept his usual blue coat and track pants, but their faces were a perfect match. They'd even traded clothes once, and still people spotted Comic Sans easily. ComicSans himself found it hilarious, and claimed it was simply odd luck.
Snowdin was always a pleasant sight to Sans's eyes. UNDR-Ground's Snowdin was larger, of course, as the humans helped expand the city. Still, it was home. The snow-covered homes and smiling townsfolk brought to mind those of Sans's home, long since dead. Sans still felt a pang of regret for the deaths in his universe, but it helped to know that those monsters he once thought lost forever still lived on in other dimensions.
Grillby's had changed as well, though just a bit; with a larger bar and expanded room for customers, the quaint little diner was now a full-sized restaurant that was everyone's favorite place to eat, so much so that several branches had been built both UNDR-Ground and on the surface in Ebott and other monster-heavy towns. Despite this, there was always a stool by the bar for Sans. In fact, there was already a Sans at the bar when Sans and ComicSans entered Grillby's.
Appearing a little heftier than either Sans or ComicSans, NegaSans wore a black coat with a fur-lined hoodie and his teeth were filed to points. In his own dimension, NegaSans was essentially a stooge for an equally unpleasant alternate version of Papyrus. Essentially cowed and bullied into helping his brother search for humans and punish monsters believed to lack loyalty to their King, NegaSans was now every bit as friendly as (if a bit more foul-mouthed than) his alternate counterparts, mostly owing to the fact that NegaPapyrus, was only a head, his body having gotten stuck and abandoned back in universe F-83. NegaPapyrus was still quite abusive, but his intimidation factor was severely diminished by the old bird cage he currently called home.
"Hey! My brothas!" NegaSans said, his pointy smile wide as he waved at Sans and ComicSans.
"Hey, Goldie." ComicSans said, referencing his alternate self's single golden tooth, "What are you up to?"
"Oh, just grabbin' a bit of lunch before heading back to the studios." NegaSans said. "We're gonna be recording a new album before the tour starts."
"Right on." Sans said, bumping knucklebones with NegaSans. NegaSans had become a successful standup as well, though he differentiated his work with a penchant for foul language and excessive dark humor. Still, he hit a niche and obviously enjoyed the popularity he received.
"You should come with." NegaSans said, but Sans shook his head.
"Sorry," he said, "Next time maybe. Say, your brother doing okay?"
NegaSans snorted before finishing off his bottle of mustard. "Same as ever. Still making threats. He's been pissed since the referendum came back."
"Well, he should hardly be surprised they rejected his request for a new body." ComicSans said, "I mean, after what happened in your dimension. You ask me, he's lucky he's here at all after all the monsters he killed."
"You mean he should quit while he's a head?"
The three Sanses laughed at this.
As the laughter faded, ComicSans said, "He's lucky you're looking out for him. I would've left him."
"No you wouldn't." Sans said.
ComicSans sighed and nodded. "Yeah, you're right. Still, it's hard to think of him as being Papyrus; he's so different from my real brother."
"Same here." Sans agreed. "Still, I think you're doin' a good thing, taking care of him. I mean, there's always a chance he'll come around."
"And until then, I'll keep him safe." NegaSans rose from his chair. "I'll see you both later, yeah?"
"Sure thing." Comic Sans said as they all shook hands.
Once NegaSans departed, ComicSans said, "Nice to see them integrating so well."
"Definitely." Sans said, nodding. "I'll admit, I was a bit worried for awhile there. You wouldn't believe just how messed up things were in their dimension."
"This from the last survivor of his own reality." ComicSans said with a grin, only for his grin to fade at the look on his other self's face. "Sorry."
"Hmm? Oh, no, you're right." Sans said, forcing a chuckle. "Still, it was a human who took out most of my universe. We weren't killing ourselves."
After a moment of silence, Sans shook his head and said, "Geez, I aughtta wear black and change my name to Reaper if I'm gonna be this Grim. It's not like there haven't been good things too."
ComicSans started to reply when his gaze turned to the entrance of the restaurant. "Ha! She musta heard you."
Sans turned to see two young women with bodies of flame, one of green and the other of light blue. They talked like best friends as they approached the bar, seemingly unaware of the skeletons. The green woman gave the blue one a hug before walking behind the counter and picking up an apron. The blue one turned as though to leave, only to stop as the bright points of her eyes caught on the two skeletons.
With only a moment's hesitation, she threw her arms around Sans. "Hi, sleepybones!"
"Hi, Fuku. You're gonna have to tell me how you do that one day, you know."
"Do what?" She asked innocently.
"Tell us apart so easily."
ComicSans chuckled as the green woman approached him. "Two bottles of Grillby's best ketchup and an order of cappuccino for your doppelganger."
"Be out in a minute." She said, flashing a smile at ComicSans as Fuku sat at the stool beside Sans, her hand holding his as the flames of her cheeks brightened.
ComicSans leaned his elbow against the counter as he watched the two share a kiss. "I see you two are getting along well."
Sans felt his cheekbones grow warm, but only squeezed Fuku's hand tighter. "What can I say? I've got a burning desire."
Fuku giggled and gave him a kiss on the cheek. For some reason, this made ComicSans chuckle again.
"Ah, I'm gonna get outta here." ComicSans said, rising from his barstool. "Tell our hostess to put it all on my tab."
"You don't have to ..." Fuku began.
"You two don't need me around dampening the mood. Besides, I gotta go get packed for the tour. So many practical jokes and just one suitcase. I'll see you when we get back, Sans ... and remember, there's always a place for you. Three skeletons touring the world telling bad jokes ... smash hit if I ever heard of one."
"I'll keep it in mind." Sans said, shaking his alternate self's hand.
"You do that. Ma'am." With a final nod at them both, ComicSans departed.
Sans and Fuku moved to an empty booth so they could sit across from each other. As always, Sans found himself unable to speak for a moment. Something about Fuku just made his voice catch, if just for a second.
"I like the dress." He finally managed to say.
"Thank you." She said. "Miss Tori helped me pick it out, and Dad bought it for me."
"No kidding? How are they doing?"
To his surprise, Fuku's cheeks blushed brightly.
"No." He said, grin widening.
"Um, well ... they spent a lot of time together while their wounds were healing." Fuku said, her hand slowly sneaking across the table to grab Sans's hand, "And it's given them a lot of time to get to know each other. It's cute the way they've been trying to keep their relationship secret, but I get the feeling Dad's about to propose."
"Oh? And what's engaged your thoughts in that direction?"
"The ring he keeps hidden in the secret drawer of his nightstand." Fuku said, a knowing smile on her face. "I know it's not mom's. Oh, but don't tell anyone, okay?"
"Cross my sternum." Sans said, giving her hand a light squeeze. "What do the kids think about it?"
"Frisk and Asriel? They seem fond of Dad. He's really been pushing himself since we left the Underground." Fuku's gaze fell. "It reminds me of how it was before Mom died."
A moment of silence passed between them in memory of Fuku's mother, one of the victims of NegaPapyrus's ambition. Sans had never met Grillby's wife even in his own dimension. Grillby went quiet the first time Sans asked, so as far as Sans was concerned, that was that.
Missus Grillby was alive in the UNDR-ground, though Sans had yet to meet the flame woman. A famous romance writer, Missus Reiko Grillby spent most of her time on book tours, sometimes with her husband, who was known as both for his restaurant franchises and as a fantasy author. A few copies of his latest book, 'Lone Flame', sat beside the cash register, adorned with the picture of a fire elemental wearing cowboy clothes and driving a train through space.
"Hey." Sans said, leaning forward to place a gentle hand on her cheek. "Why don't we go for a walk?"
The smile reappeared on Fuku's face. "Sure, sleepybones. I'd like that."
The path to the Ruins was quite peaceful, at least in the summer. Undyne ran an obstacle course along the path during the winter. Remnants of the course were still visible as Fuku and Sans walked slowly along the path: half-formed puzzles, leftover streamers and decorations, and the occasional advertisement for one of the show's sponsors.
Despite this, the snow-covered paths were still quite pleasant to traverse even for Fuku, who'd long since gotten used to wearing waterproof shoes. Sans and Fuku walked arm-in-arm through the winter wonderland, idly exchanging gossip about the goings-on of the UNDR-Ground.
Sans navigated the conversation on automatic. It wasn't that he didn't care about Fuku or her conversation. Quite the opposite, in fact; Sans cared about her a great deal. That, ironically, was what kept him preoccupied.
Hearing about Grillby's impending engagement (Toriel willing, of course) had Sans considering his own long-term relationship goals. He cared a great deal for Fuku, and would readily admit to having considered making a proposal of his own, particularly in the last month. True, they'd only been together about half a year, and had their share of small spats, but being around Fuku almost made Sans forget about his own universe and all he'd lost there.
He'd told her all about it, of course. He'd told her everything, including Glenda and Sans. She even knew his real age, something only Papyrus knew. He'd even tried to tell her about Gaster, though the knowledge seemed to slip from her mind only minutes later. No one ever remembered Gaster.
So what was stopping him? The UNDR-Ground was a nice place. His fellow Sanses did well, and he'd almost certainly be just as popular if he followed their path. He could have a life there, marry Fuku, have little flaming skeleton kids. What was stopping him?"
"Hey."
Something in Fuku's tone broke through Sans's thoughts. He glanced up at her, smiling. "Yeah, Fu?"
She leaned against his arm. "Whatchu thinkin' about?"
"The past." Sans glanced up to see the door to the Ruins. The Ruins were converted into a museum, with the occasional video tour transmitted to boost tourism. It was closed at the moment for renovations, the door as locked as it had always been back in Sans's dimension. His smile widening, he said, "Did I ever tell you how I met the queen back in my world?"
"No." Fuku said, "I don't think so. Not in detail anyway."
"C'mon, I'll show you."
They walked down the path until they were beside the great door, half buried in snow. A sign hanging on the door simply read, "Closed for renovations".
"Back in my world, Papyrus and I patrolled Snowdin for humans. Well, Papyrus did; I usually just goofed off."
"Yeah, that sound about right." She said with a giggle.
Chuckling as well, Sans approached the door and said, "I usually didn't go this far. No need; no one had seen a human in ages. Well, one day I got bored and ended up walkin' all the way down here, where I see this door. That's when I figure it would be perfect for testin' out knock-knock jokes."
"Sounds about right." Fuku said, her eyes on the door.
"So I'm here knockin' em out one after the other, when suddenly I knock and someone else answers, 'Who's there?' I tell her, 'Dishes'. She says, 'Dishes who,' and I come back with 'Dishes a very bad joke!'"
Fuku giggled and shook her head, no doubt at her boyfriend's sense of humor.
"Yeah, she laughed too." Sans said. "Just howled with laughter. I keep going, and she just keeps laughing. She was the best audience I'd ever had!"
"And that was Queen Toriel?" Fuku asked, still smiling.
Sans nodded. He approached the door and said, "I didn't know at the time of course; she was just the woman I traded knock-knock jokes with whenever I went on patrol, until one day she didn't."
Fuku's smile faded. Sans told her about possessed Frisk, and how she'd killed most of the Underground. "I'm sorry."
"Eh, don't be." Sans said, squeezing her hand. "I guess part of me still misses those days. After the kid started killin' everyone, I never made it back there. Never got to say goodbye."
A few moments of silence passed before Fuku said, "Knock-knock."
"Who's there?"
"Yukon."
"Yukon who?"
"Yukon say goodbye now." Fuku said, her tone and gaze gentle as she squeezed his hands.
Sans looked at her for a long moment before smiling and rubbing her cheek. "Yeah, I guess I can."
He approached the door and put his hand over the Delta Ruin. He thought back to every joke, every single word that passed between him and the former queen.883Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQYFFdZXalG
"Goodbye, old lady." He said before knocking twice.
Something about hearing the sound of his knocks on the door after so long had a soothing affect on Sans. Perhaps he was overthinking things; there was no reason to think Glenda would find him, not among an endless number of realities. The crystal with the imprint from his universe was gone, the one from that reality having been shattered by accident years ago during ComicSans's attempts to teach himself juggling. Maybe settling down and making a life for himself wasn't a bad idea.
He turned back to Fuku, who seemed to be waiting patiently.
"Um, Fuku," He said, rubbing the back of his skull. "I've been thinkin', maybe-"
The sound of two thuds against the door made him freeze in mid-sentence. Fuku grabbed Sans and pulled him back as the massive stone door fell forward and crashed into the snow-covered ground. They looked at the door for a moment before their gazes rose to the woman with the metal arms standing in the doorway to the Ruins.
"Who's there?" Glen asked, a crooked smile on her face.
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