I say you're stupid for not packing sooner, but I guess I should be thanking you. I hadn't realized that when your clothes were piled on your bed, and your room was unnaturally clean, I'd feel my heart drag on the ground with every step. The slowly filling suit case is slowly emptying my heart and I'm scared the memories won't be enough to keep it beating.829Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7cFcSvB1Zw
Your room is next to mind, I can knock on the wall and you can hear it, but it's never felt so loud when I kick the wall with my foot accidentally as I try to move around my desk. Your bookshelf has always been there to muffle the hit, and now it lingers in your room, unwelcome and a stranger. 829Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmst82PPgIq
The slightly ajar door temps the dog to wonder in and see you, but it's met with dusty floor and a well-made bed, not the room you slept in, not your room. Not anymore. The heavily packed suitcases make me look away, and I swear I stopped breathing for a moment when it moved to the doorway.
I didn't like it when it moved to the back of your car, along with your longboards and laptop. I didn't like it, but I sat in the passenger side, with you beside me, all the long drive anyway. When you stopped to get gas, I moved it, sliding it to the back of your seat so I wouldn't see it when my eyes landed on the drivers mirror. I didn't want to see it.
We listen to music, we talk about games, and it seemed you were excited for this new adventure. I watched you hug our parents goodbye when it was the last moment. I watched as your twisted your face so you wouldn't cry. I guess I couldn't see it loosen when your arms wrapped around me and I whispered a last goodbye, because I stepped back, your tall frame hovering me still, and your cheeks were red, your eyes wet. Strong for our parents, I thought, but for me...
I remember when you smiled a smile I didn't want to see, longing and forced, but it was real. Dad tugged my arm as you turned away, explaining that long goodbyes were always tougher. I didn't even say anything to you, only a muffled and quiet "bye" when we molded together, but I didn't look at you long. Because longer goodbyes were always tougher.
I keep my feet still by my desk now, I make sure your door is shut tight, I try not to look out front where your car used to always sit- under the tree, under the leaves. 829Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyfpCV2GiTi
I never use the suitcase, now empty, thrown in the middle of your room. Instead I climb up the crooked ladder into the attic and grab the old cobweb-covered duffel bag.
829Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZu40J6wpVV
