The morning light shone through he leaves of the trees. Some of the beams blinded me for some time before I blocked them with my hand. The breeze that came through was comfortably cool but even so I didn’t feel comfortable. The beams that broke through the trees were warm but I didn’t feel warm. All I felt was emptiness.
I had skipped school to go to the park. I was sitting on a bench with my backpack beside me. I had changed my school attire to chino shorts and a white T-shirt. I got the idea of skipping school just this morning.
“I don’t feel like it,” I had thought the moment I woke up on my bed. I had prepared my bag for something other than school. I didn’t bring any book, but I brought some change of clothes. They don’t allow shorts at school even though it’s in the middle of summer. I’m not going to run around with long jeans in this heat.
I didn’t know what I had in mind when I skipped school. It’s just one of those days, one of those days where I don’t want to do anything social. I don’t really know why, it just happens sometime. Maybe it was because I had a bad feeling. Sometimes it happens because I had a bad day. Even so I didn’t experience anything bad yesterday. I guess it’s my social limit hitting its roof.
It’s not that I’m an antisocial person, it’s just that I don’t have the ability to keep socializing nonstop. Maybe it’s what they call being an introvert. They can socialize as much as they want but in the end they would have days where they’re drained out. Much like the day I’m having right now.
I sipped the canned grape soda, enjoying the breeze as much as I can even though it’s not very enjoyable in my current state. I had searched for something missing in my emotional state. I had already walked throughout the park and decided to just sit here in this bench. But then I decided to take another walk.
I picked my backpack up and started pacing the steps. It was empty for obvious reasons, save for the occasional joggers and cyclists. I had thought how frequent I do these escapades. Maybe once every two weeks but I don’t really think these things happen in a fixed interval. They just happen when they do happen.
I passed by a vending machine and next to it was a trash bin. I threw the empty grape soda can into the bin and turned my gaze in the display glass of the vending machine. Cola, Ginger Ale, Orange Soda, Strawberry Soda, Lemon Soda, Melon Soda, Grape Soda, and last but not least Sarsaparilla. Searching my wallet for some change I finally found an amount just enough to buy a can of soda. I didn’t want to buy juices. I picked the Sarsaparilla and pressed its button. The can in the display glass had a washed-out kind of red color with a sunset. It had an old typewriter kind of font.
A clank signaled me to get the can of soda from the vending machine, but as I searched for a can it never showed up. For a second I thought I was bamboozled but then I found a glassy slick texture. I pulled it out and found that I got a bottle of cherry-vanilla soda. For some reason I looked around, maybe someone was playing a trick on me or maybe I’m in a TV show and they were filming me. After some time I turned my gaze back to the bottle at hand. It opened with a pop and the smell of vanilla burst out and followed by the cherry. I took a sip and let the soda die out inside my mouth. The taste was pretty good, it might even be better than sarsaparilla but who knows? I never got the sarsaparilla anyways. I shrugged it off and continued my stroll.
I decided to leave the park and head towards a café for a sandwich. It was 10 AM and I haven’t eaten anything that day save for a slice of bread and butter. I didn’t have much of an appetite this morning, but oh well.
I ordered a smoked salmon sandwich and a slice of lemon pie. I don’t know why but I love the sourness of a fresh lemon pie and the saltiness of smoked salmon. Even so I don’t eat them together of course, I eat them separately. If I were to eat them together they would leave a foul taste in my mouth. Yuck.
As I was about to take a bite of my delicious sandwich somebody decided to take the seat opposite of me. The salty smoky salmon taste burst in my mouth alongside the crunchy toast and fresh salad.
“Is it any good?”
The person opposite of me asked. My gaze was still fixated on the sandwich at hand.
“Sure,”
I answered half-assed. I put the sandwich down and took a sip of the cherry vanilla. Good thing they were kind enough to let in foreign drinks. I swapped my gaze from the bottle to the person on the other end. It was the waitress that had taken my order. I didn’t bat an eye on the matter. Maybe she was bored of her job and decided to rake in some tips.
“I made it myself, the salad vinegar was my improvisation,”
She said with a proud smile. She was way older than me, I was still in high-school and she was what? 21 or something? I don’t know, I don’t really care either. I just wanted to finish my sandwich and pie and continue my solitary escapade. Even so not wanting to communicate doesn’t make me an asshole that doesn’t respond to someone who’s talking to me.
“The vinegar is pretty good, I wondered what was new about the sandwich,”
I answered her confident remark. I had just noticed that I was the only customer inside the café. So I deducted that I was her source of entertainment for the time being. Maybe until lunch time and then the café will be filled with businessmen or businesswomen from the office across the street. By then she would be too busy to do anything besides working.
“I usually see you in my shifts, especially at this hour,”
She said, supporting her head with her two arms. I looked at the clock just above her head. The time showed 10:23. Not much time was wasted in the café, but I still haven’t finished my sandwich nor have I started my pie.
“Really? I didn’t think I came here that often,”
I said, taking another bite of the sandwich. She started tapping her chin.
“Yeah, are you in college?”
She suddenly asked me. The question caught me off-guard. I had suspected that she would ask if I skipped school, not if I was in college. Maybe I look older than I should.
“Nope, still a sophomore in high-school,”
I answered her calmly after the surprise attack. This time she was the one who was surprised. She backed up for a second and then nodded.
“Oh! So that’s why you look so young,”
She exclaimed. Maybe she was guessing, maybe I didn’t look as old as a college kid.
“Why aren’t you at school?”
She asked. I shrugged and had another bite of my sandwich.
“Didn’t feel like it,”
I said, after swallowing the bite and sipping my soda bottle.
“Why so?”
“I don’t know, it’s just one of those days,”
I said, killing the conversation. I finished my sandwich and started my pie. The sourness of the vinegar and the sourness of the lemon were different. They both had something they’re good at. Just like different kinds of people.
After having a bite of the pie I said to the waitress,
“Maybe you could call me an introvert,”
“Introvert?”
She asked, her face was one of confused. Couldn’t blame her, I only knew the term a year ago.
“It means someone who can’t socialize all the time, let’s just say today is my day to recharge,”
“Ohh,”
She anwered. Now she was resting her head on her arms. She was looking at the yellow pie on the table. I cut a piece and pointed it towards her.
“Want some?”
I asked. She got up and opened her mouth. At first I didn’t know what that meant but then I just went for it and gave her a spoon of sour pie. She smiled sweetly even though she just had something sour.
“Thanks, never tried lemon pie, thought it was a waste of money but after that I think I’m gonna bring some leftover home sometime,”
She said after tasting the delicious pie. I only nodded while eating another bite. The clock now showed the time 11:00 AM. Around this time the school would be on recess.
A ring came out of my pocket followed with a vibration that disrupted my comfort. It was my phone. I scooped it out of my right pocket and picked it up without knowing who’s on the other line. I had expected my mom, who knows what the school might tell her when I’m not present. But that was not the case right now, a familiar voice called out to me,
“Yo.”
It was a voice that caught me aback. It was one of my close friends. This peculiar friend was a funny guy, curly hair, rounded nose, the eldest of us all, and he’s a very cheerful guy. From all the people who I had expected to give me a call he was one of the least on my list. Of course since I didn’t really want to communicate with anyone that doesn’t mean I won’t answer conversations.
So I answered with a simple, “Yeah?”
“Where are you?”
“In some café in some street, what’s wrong?”
“Oh, I thought you were home trying to get it on with your computer,” he joked, as I said he was a pretty funny guy. He would say almost anything flying through his head.
“Nah I already did that last night,” I sarcastically answered.
The conversation started to drift into uncharted waters. The topic was ambiguous and weird. He would say something sarcastically and I would response with the same sarcasm. There would be chuckles here and there from both lines.
He was one of my close friends that don’t know about this habit of mine. This day off was pretty much a new thing for him. Even so I didn’t have any plans on telling him now. Maybe some time in the future, or maybe when he pressed the subject on me.
After that he had hung up because recess was about to finish and he hasn’t eaten anything yet. After the call I felt refreshed, having been entertained by one of my close friends. The thing that made me feel better was that he wasn’t trying to cheer me up, it’s just his style. He did it without knowledge that I was down.
“Who was it?”
The girl I had forgotten about spoke. I glanced at her.
“A friend,”
I answered.
“Are you leaving now?”
“Probably, yeah,”
I said, looking down at the table with a soft smile. I stood up and tucked the chair into the table. Now the waitress was looking up at me.
“Wait! Before you leave,”
She hastily exclaimed standing up. She then ran to the counter and rummaged it looking for something. I walked up to the counter, waiting for the mystery gift. She then handed out a fist-sized paper bag.
“What’s inside?”
I asked, cocking my head to the side.
“Caramel squares! Made them myself! Don’t tell anyone you bought them from me though or I’ll get fired,”
She said in gleefully.
“How many is in one bag?”
“24-ish,”
She said unconfidently with a tap to her chin. She stuck a tongue out jokingly.
“I’ll take 3,”
I told her nonchalantly.
“R-really?”
“Yeah, how much?”
“Oh! Uhh, 3 bags… that’d be about this much,”
She showed me the numbers on a calculator. I took my wallet out of my pocket and gave her the amount she wanted.
“Thanks for the business! Don’t tell anyone I’m selling these though, they’re out secret,”
She said with a smile, tilting her head to the right. Her face was now happier than it already was. The smile on her face was contagious, soon before I knew it I had also smiled. So I said to her,
“Thanks.”
After I left I had realized what I needed the most,
A push.
Whenever you feel down, just find a friend. If you don't have any friends, just find a family member. If you dislike your family members, just remember this:
You are not alone.
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