向菱出教室,來到走廊上,突然就覺得南雨鎮的三月不存在春天。39Please respect copyright.PENANAXsd6q4FfM3
39Please respect copyright.PENANAzrUe0lBJiK
據說祁小波感冒了,所以向菱那天沒有陪她出去玩。39Please respect copyright.PENANAF5BEezkuEY
39Please respect copyright.PENANAW2txWm3qsH
這事是祁澈先和她提的,那時他像是隨口一提,她點點頭,表示回應。 39Please respect copyright.PENANAWW0SOB2rbY
39Please respect copyright.PENANANOk9ihkg3d
她原本和祁小波約好要一同去公園溜滑梯的,但因為此事,也只好之後再說了。39Please respect copyright.PENANAHfPyTnsN0r
39Please respect copyright.PENANAE6znTEAXvS
海邊小鎮的春季多雨,多雲又帶點悶熱,海浪拍打得更加兇狠,雨下得更為頻繁。39Please respect copyright.PENANA5uEGW7rAEg
39Please respect copyright.PENANAZiIVpjqCly
用一個字來總結就是——躁。39Please respect copyright.PENANA4vgJNLzt2V
39Please respect copyright.PENANAGQ0ZkEh4zC
高二下學期的春天,學生們到了適合思考自己生涯的年紀。 39Please respect copyright.PENANAKrthyE8ueI
39Please respect copyright.PENANAyQZun6fdrD
台上的教師總會在講課時有意無意地提起,同儕間偶爾也有討論,引起不少人開始規劃。39Please respect copyright.PENANAiow87QVYHh
39Please respect copyright.PENANAr5mRpAYLD6
楊宛和向菱聊到這個話題時,楊宛提起了她的志向。 39Please respect copyright.PENANAuxqbyGx8Oi
39Please respect copyright.PENANAhZreCkv3Lb
「我故鄉那所大學的服裝設計系!」 39Please respect copyright.PENANAtvGFcoe9SO
39Please respect copyright.PENANAoQuIcW87jY
幾個同班同學也跟著提出了各自的目標,似乎已經充滿鬥志。39Please respect copyright.PENANAkRyOZYmOI7
39Please respect copyright.PENANA3WP6h3mNFj
某個女同學說道:「我想去北渝市!」39Please respect copyright.PENANAzVpE1RC7GY
39Please respect copyright.PENANA9yDAydIeGN
另一個男同學順著她的話建議,「我也是,要不我們結伴吧?」39Please respect copyright.PENANAoZepOBLgeC
39Please respect copyright.PENANAWxV0fPFHI4
「哈哈哈哈你們倆還真是般配——」39Please respect copyright.PENANAW71pwmGpLF
39Please respect copyright.PENANAzHwroJinJg
眾人笑鬧成一團,那對男女被同學們說得臉紅了。39Please respect copyright.PENANA6oToYsv5Qh
39Please respect copyright.PENANARWP84O9HeP
十七、八歲的年紀,本就應該意氣風發,昂首挺胸,耀眼熱烈。 39Please respect copyright.PENANAkAn99oa9EM
39Please respect copyright.PENANAa0PCooWDTb
向菱卻是在此時變得心不在焉,默默退出了討論。 39Please respect copyright.PENANAKSC9fPSmr0
39Please respect copyright.PENANA1zSnY80equ
她一直以來,都有些迷惘。 39Please respect copyright.PENANA9zsLdFCscP
39Please respect copyright.PENANAQSOe0hLYj4
少女悄然離開剛才嬉鬧著的人群,沒有目標的閒晃,直到她莫名其妙地抵達了教室外稍遠偏僻的走廊。39Please respect copyright.PENANAYnLrbeO8zu
39Please respect copyright.PENANA7ZclV22QqV
那裡是安靜而沒有人煙的地方。 楊宛問了她不少關於將來的問題,她卻經常回答不上來。 39Please respect copyright.PENANAeWUyB1BBQP
39Please respect copyright.PENANAy1UbY4g7Cg
「北渝市不錯啊,而且你已經是文學界的大人物了,感覺很有前途嘛。」39Please respect copyright.PENANA8fp30pnKRe
39Please respect copyright.PENANAGAYt5LBwdN
向菱不知道怎麼回應這種話。 39Please respect copyright.PENANAmYmeRq6CJx
39Please respect copyright.PENANAlkjIfAgqGs
因為她當初會步入文學,只是為了躲避身後的經濟、心理壓力,她只是想遠離。39Please respect copyright.PENANAsL4IQC9WAR
39Please respect copyright.PENANAjCbcgj6rKR
那時候,鄭娟因為向里的過世而開始出現異常行為,經濟困頓,她沒有專長又未達可以打工的年紀,於是只好拿出自己的興趣。39Please respect copyright.PENANATOkIoMaqPh
39Please respect copyright.PENANAVsB6CEiAyv
結果最後越走越遠,她已經看不見家庭了。39Please respect copyright.PENANAtJTM3h8qh0
39Please respect copyright.PENANADN3Tjqm8z2
自那以後,她逐漸把寫故事當成了工作,而不是原先最純粹的興趣。 39Please respect copyright.PENANA9uuKoTnDQf
39Please respect copyright.PENANA2yp90yFwwl
思考大綱成為習慣,那麼提筆寫作就是例行公事。39Please respect copyright.PENANAO0uJkOKTs1
39Please respect copyright.PENANAkIDzoWJeaQ
她仍然喜歡文字,仍會從故事裡得到快樂,不過她好像成為了一個工作狂,也對這樣的現況感到迷惑。 39Please respect copyright.PENANAaSJgiV5kDv
39Please respect copyright.PENANAslzVyzmKEu
向菱覺得自己還挺矛盾的,遲遲想不通。 39Please respect copyright.PENANAA3o19qi5cB
39Please respect copyright.PENANA8bgzjl08Gb
她想起前陣子,室友王曉認真問過她的話。 39Please respect copyright.PENANAsNP1JlN8Iy
39Please respect copyright.PENANAsMIASiUBvo
「你有想過未來嗎?」39Please respect copyright.PENANA5jJQvTrmYw
39Please respect copyright.PENANAUGrRPWQyef
——怎麼想?39Please respect copyright.PENANAYRm156sCZT
39Please respect copyright.PENANAtHBAdI2BdO
要怎麼想,才是正確的? 39Please respect copyright.PENANANIsRxEYl6S
39Please respect copyright.PENANAsxCc0Sp0Lp
她那時候沒有回應,只是勉強扯了扯唇角,以示附和。 39Please respect copyright.PENANA35XohXq2qg
39Please respect copyright.PENANAS8nCdW0lwv
大家都具有計畫,擁有目標,唯有她卻像是迷路的小孩子似的,不知所措的站在交叉路口。39Please respect copyright.PENANAWWSMG0RVM2
39Please respect copyright.PENANAdVVAqcI2Rv
向菱不知道有沒有人可以來拉她一把。 39Please respect copyright.PENANAHSLCKIlUir
39Please respect copyright.PENANAxw6QbXdPuA
後來,大概又過了一段時間,文壇裡的朋友言恬,她說的話迫使少女開始直接面對另一件事。 39Please respect copyright.PENANAYrlD8UDp7z
39Please respect copyright.PENANA5gNwsUgGxV
——她似乎喜歡上一個人了。39Please respect copyright.PENANA3ferlkNmTr
39Please respect copyright.PENANAxrxYvFC9pA
原來不知不覺間,她也抵達了,會因為學業和愛戀煩惱的年紀。39Please respect copyright.PENANA4SnoZ39tOM
39Please respect copyright.PENANAowCZoDhE31
那些事讓她愈來愈困惑,無法立即下決定但又無法乾脆割捨,陷入一種無止境的內耗裡。 39Please respect copyright.PENANANnJOz6KGxU
39Please respect copyright.PENANAoQZAjQhqQj
這很不像向菱以往的風格,不乾脆,而且拖泥帶水。 39Please respect copyright.PENANAdOVzwSqEal
39Please respect copyright.PENANAITQ0cJMNJR
她覺得越來越看不懂自己了。 39Please respect copyright.PENANA7we47U4uwz
39Please respect copyright.PENANAuubgatmvMj
_ 39Please respect copyright.PENANA8hvlq4cBB3
39Please respect copyright.PENANAofO0a10JVU
這麼稱呼似乎有點矯情,只不過她喜歡的人……算了,還是稱呼全名吧,祁澈。39Please respect copyright.PENANA4Bo5FiZ3DQ
39Please respect copyright.PENANAIAK6Dhr0iD
——她喜歡的人,祁澈,從中午那節午休之後就消失了、再也沒回教室了。 39Please respect copyright.PENANARRVMbIGP62
39Please respect copyright.PENANAdYTxMSyFQO
這種事不是第一次發生了,下午時向菱問過沈中奕,對方一臉莫名的丟給她一句——你第一天認識祁澈嗎?39Please respect copyright.PENANA7Ascv0ttvR
39Please respect copyright.PENANASEgWLJxg2C
…… 話雖如此,向菱還是有一點想找他說話。39Please respect copyright.PENANAkXWRcemyev
39Please respect copyright.PENANAp6duHBjSX1
放學後,她打開手機,讓螢幕畫面在對話框裡停滯,一邊思忖著她應該說些什麼。 39Please respect copyright.PENANA2tEk8Dls1G
39Please respect copyright.PENANAvHGR8sgEXN
「祁澈。」 39Please respect copyright.PENANAbG7FXsPzPp
39Please respect copyright.PENANALqOwn1Kixs
無意識的輸入了這個名字。 39Please respect copyright.PENANAfUS9MJJkiK
39Please respect copyright.PENANAqAZPzIgYeW
彷彿肢體比她先記住,這個人的身影。39Please respect copyright.PENANAZP3t7r9hNj
39Please respect copyright.PENANAQMEduRn8Ur
奇怪了,她又不是失戀,只是和他說話的機會減少而已,自己在發什麼神經。39Please respect copyright.PENANAaIJJOFwolF
39Please respect copyright.PENANAzo7kVrSMeM
半個下午都過得魂不守舍,難道這個人是她過活必須的能量嗎?39Please respect copyright.PENANAxLZQKjeU5y
39Please respect copyright.PENANAX1rvnZwI3F
她腹誹了一會,手動刪掉輸入框的文字,重新輸入。 39Please respect copyright.PENANAglYHkEDEwS
39Please respect copyright.PENANABzI8rIhsOR
——「在嗎?」不對。39Please respect copyright.PENANAuO3zfDCDOu
39Please respect copyright.PENANAU7bJWWmKpm
意圖太明顯了。39Please respect copyright.PENANAfEDps7DR4N
39Please respect copyright.PENANAJSfLn9X4mm
——「你在幹麼?」也不對,這樣未免太故意了點。39Please respect copyright.PENANAELyYvlKqzp
39Please respect copyright.PENANA4p5k5uqS6k
她猶豫著要發什麼訊息,最終還是沒發,盯著那個對話框框發怔。39Please respect copyright.PENANAEkW2Q8E8z1
39Please respect copyright.PENANAYsphyWU1Wo
幾分鐘後,向菱挪動指尖,點按幾下手機,忽然突發奇想決定給他取個名稱備註。39Please respect copyright.PENANAgxrMt9pgnm
39Please respect copyright.PENANAnobcnS5xBy
指尖在空白的名稱框裡停頓了下。 39Please respect copyright.PENANAreWyAgArco
39Please respect copyright.PENANAxy9o7WHa3t
然後,她沒什麼猶豫的從手機鍵盤裡戳出一個「?」,想表示神秘又行蹤不明的意味。39Please respect copyright.PENANAOw1YQxi8NO
39Please respect copyright.PENANA6UmVloBA7n
三秒鐘後又迅速刪掉,默默改成了別的內容。 39Please respect copyright.PENANA9opf7XNApq
39Please respect copyright.PENANAFl0qcox8DL
她怔了幾秒才按下確定按鈕,看著新備註,她突然覺得心裡樂得不行,唯一美中不足的是她有些羞恥。 39Please respect copyright.PENANAA4bSSwCKdh
39Please respect copyright.PENANAladMmODUth
新備註:「我才不喜歡他」。 39Please respect copyright.PENANAXsvoIf5aJ6
39Please respect copyright.PENANA42rm08BACj
看著新取的備註,少女的唇角壓抑不住地往上翹。 39Please respect copyright.PENANAL4mnGQmuHx
39Please respect copyright.PENANAgC8d64HH8E
她還在傻笑,一則新訊息突然從底部彈出,對方的訊息竟然主動來了。 39Please respect copyright.PENANA5vc39lyILE
39Please respect copyright.PENANAyhgcJgUlFP
祁澈極少主動找她,所以向菱有點驚訝又有點愉悅,她點擊訊息閱讀。39Please respect copyright.PENANA72019i4E2q
39Please respect copyright.PENANAL5N5sIBZCW
那封簡訊,簡單直接而且很有他的風格,只有一句「在嗎」,甚至沒有附上標點符號。 39Please respect copyright.PENANAzsnL6TMgcn
39Please respect copyright.PENANAa7iJVFeccZ
向菱本來打算秒回,但突然想起言恬的話,於是便退出聊天框,刻意延遲了幾分鐘才回覆。39Please respect copyright.PENANA8C5CdWU9xD
39Please respect copyright.PENANAlDJBk3JyHj
……意義不明的舉動,大概只有這麼傻的人才幹得出來。39Please respect copyright.PENANAkqZYbUGFEP
39Please respect copyright.PENANArH573QynB4
向菱:「在。」39Please respect copyright.PENANARs6hjYLCX0
39Please respect copyright.PENANAWQq0BB8VP3
突然有些好奇對方給她取什麼備註。 39Please respect copyright.PENANAm4SN1Hw7rn
39Please respect copyright.PENANAgZrIBSvz4i
對面的訊息停頓了幾秒,像是在斟酌怎麼開始,然後才發送過來:「你在男生宿舍嗎。」39Please respect copyright.PENANAN3xcWxNAiG
39Please respect copyright.PENANABDcV3Jn9Bw
教室換座位之後,向菱還是經常找祁小波玩耍,熟悉之後變得像姊妹一般親暱。39Please respect copyright.PENANAcbSfW1vxT8
39Please respect copyright.PENANAExoSOrMa1S
——只是,她很少在宿舍碰到祁澈。39Please respect copyright.PENANA2ZB3wwFayF
39Please respect copyright.PENANAgBh3D1Ug2C
想想也對,他似乎極為頻繁的打工。記得某天她路過魚市,碰見他在那裡幫忙一個老人將新鮮的魚隻裝進大袋子。39Please respect copyright.PENANAjsv1Tvb6af
39Please respect copyright.PENANAoEJGQR6qRp
她知道他每天固定蹺掉的那節午休,都是去給祁小波帶飯的,但這不為其他人知道。39Please respect copyright.PENANANAuleiED2S
39Please respect copyright.PENANAx6EpDtiLq8
向菱回覆:「祁小波感冒了啊,你早上說的,所以我今天沒過去。」39Please respect copyright.PENANAwla66bTXQB
39Please respect copyright.PENANAoJFS9sVkGK
「怎麼了嗎?」她敲下這行,然後送出。 39Please respect copyright.PENANAnx6pRpTgJL
39Please respect copyright.PENANAlMYtRlFLEu
訊息傳送到網路彼端,很快已讀,接著對方的文字沒幾秒又傳過來,「明天也別去那裡。」39Please respect copyright.PENANAgJ6OeoC7Rs
39Please respect copyright.PENANAgetp77TEze
——向菱不懂他的意思。 39Please respect copyright.PENANAv7fRwHyH5y
39Please respect copyright.PENANAJGsffOxMTC
她用一隻手指戳出單個符號:「?」39Please respect copyright.PENANA5e1ycjEYBt
39Please respect copyright.PENANAgpjz9boaE9
這一次,祁澈的訊息許久沒有傳來回覆,久到她差點以為他網路掉線了。39Please respect copyright.PENANAchcrlk8HRo
39Please respect copyright.PENANAWW3eaDHAGq
從以前到現在,還是第一次出現這種情況。39Please respect copyright.PENANANtvViQaEDG
39Please respect copyright.PENANAkqTEfrq9Mq
她常和祁小波玩,他沒阻止過。她經常去男生宿舍遛達,和小女孩一起亂翻他的東西,他也沒拒絕過。39Please respect copyright.PENANAxK9NGa3qhR
39Please respect copyright.PENANAIHxkKQMFED
向菱有點錯愕,心想這人的態度轉換得有些過快。 39Please respect copyright.PENANAptt6A5JW4n
39Please respect copyright.PENANAQqdnR4DeSO
她故作玩笑的發送,「你是被盜號了?」 39Please respect copyright.PENANAmy0Sut441R
39Please respect copyright.PENANAeOOC1zM0yG
「沒。」否認得倒還挺快。 39Please respect copyright.PENANALIvW0iOPMo
39Please respect copyright.PENANAQOu8I1xJ75
「那是怎麼了?我和小波約好明天要去公園盪鞦韆的。」 39Please respect copyright.PENANAXyvdGefM5h
39Please respect copyright.PENANAqQKuLnrrIG
「抱歉。」 39Please respect copyright.PENANAsmMFD8vR19
39Please respect copyright.PENANAEIi0RKUhPi
少女打字的手驀地僵住了。39Please respect copyright.PENANAnfzIBUqp3C
39Please respect copyright.PENANA2UTFjpqFC0
其實她的第一反應是——這傢伙居然會道歉啊?真稀奇。39Please respect copyright.PENANAkWffjBhs4S
39Please respect copyright.PENANAUQAIl6KIPy
緊接著她的思緒是這樣運轉的:等一下,他真的在道歉嗎?靠,好像是認真的,不對,他幹麼道歉?39Please respect copyright.PENANAlm4l8CSke9
39Please respect copyright.PENANAkd05KEQ1F9
為什麼要和她說抱歉?39Please respect copyright.PENANArGbbAgym5W
39Please respect copyright.PENANAxkih3ND9DV
一瞬間,她的腦子像是過載了,運轉不過來,甚至倏地空白。 39Please respect copyright.PENANAsEqRyWcyWn
39Please respect copyright.PENANA1wxAg4e2Xx
這算什麼,變相拒絕還是撇清關係? 39Please respect copyright.PENANA8eN3iJMgan
39Please respect copyright.PENANAXIKJ76qKi1
她首先聯想到的是電視上的八點檔連續劇。39Please respect copyright.PENANAqZuFegs7CH
39Please respect copyright.PENANAdCgOaXN7qC
對不起我們不要再打擾彼此了、就這樣結束吧、再這樣下去也不會有結果……為什麼她滿腦子都是這種沒梗的俗濫台詞。39Please respect copyright.PENANA3bmF64T0ZL
39Please respect copyright.PENANAbr7kheAIvm
突然就慌亂了起來。39Please respect copyright.PENANART9Ddl6hWg
39Please respect copyright.PENANA4Fu8TU09bA
但是喜歡一個人的心思,本來就是很敏感的,她知道自己反應不應該這麼大,因為一句抱歉。 39Please respect copyright.PENANAXLnDM4BwBV
39Please respect copyright.PENANAaaZ6pKaA1o
又或者因為失去了一種可能「巧遇」他的機會。39Please respect copyright.PENANAuU1CYQ8LJw
39Please respect copyright.PENANAs73vo965yl
少女開始胡思亂想,腦袋一團暴亂。 39Please respect copyright.PENANArWGUla6dOL
39Please respect copyright.PENANAtJuLEjQcdF
難道他已經意識到她的喜歡,於是決定開始疏遠她了嗎? 39Please respect copyright.PENANASWI07UpSXm
39Please respect copyright.PENANAiWx7sjyhTf
她陷入一種莫名的恐慌裡,像是憑空懸浮於半空中,踩不到地板,像是失重。 39Please respect copyright.PENANAcgPvkQ1qQ3
39Please respect copyright.PENANAP6uE2ADOm1
這種感覺,一點都不踏實。 39Please respect copyright.PENANAzoyq9H5vVB
39Please respect copyright.PENANADViUbnyUPy
_39Please respect copyright.PENANAhVSAkLxXok
39Please respect copyright.PENANATJAQasZNsW
窗外陰雨綿綿,烏雲潛伏在暗色裡,連消失都悄然無聲。39Please respect copyright.PENANAlvpujNKCMN
39Please respect copyright.PENANAqdY1uVzS1h
隔天是周休,但向菱絲毫開心不起來。39Please respect copyright.PENANAcL7ZkGirC2
39Please respect copyright.PENANAKD3zcukKed
她一旦變得鬱悶,就經常直接倒頭就睡,因為現實讓她覺得很累,睡眠做夢反倒是最好的去處。39Please respect copyright.PENANAiDBUyATzWK
39Please respect copyright.PENANAEjtM521G1r
室友們見慣了她假日睡長覺的習慣,都見怪不怪,放輕了動靜,不驚擾到少女。39Please respect copyright.PENANAMnJcWl79NO
39Please respect copyright.PENANAlgZw2wopbe
她睡得比平時更晚了一點。39Please respect copyright.PENANA1TUl4h4mkk
39Please respect copyright.PENANAtWc6NtUC0C
下午起床時,她覺得胃臟空得發慌,腳步沉重虛浮,囫圇拆了幾包糖果餅乾了事。 39Please respect copyright.PENANABK6xu4B4wO
39Please respect copyright.PENANAr7D9OTtw6V
過了一小段時間,向菱才打起精神訂外賣。39Please respect copyright.PENANAYkQfuX8xmE
39Please respect copyright.PENANARhWnyiov2A
簡單而隨便的向室友們打了招呼,她覺得自己的話音有氣無力。 39Please respect copyright.PENANAxPDp4DEvEG
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半小時後,她坐在床上吃著外賣便當,一邊打開手機給言恬發訊息。39Please respect copyright.PENANAg5vTbfbhkg