“Some day we will find someone that loves us, Pinkster,” my brother said.182Please respect copyright.PENANAliMlIQh0a8
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I was only 9 years old when this story happened. My brother always called me Pinkster. That's not my real name. My real name is Dakota, but people call me Pinkster because I like pink. You can say that I am in touch with my feminine side. I am not transgender; I just like pretty clothes, and I enjoy singing and dancing. I even played dress-up with girls at times and had no problems wearing a dress. 182Please respect copyright.PENANAznrn8cucDK
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My brother's name is Rowan. He was 13 years old when this story began. He was the opposite of me. He was very strong and very athletic. He liked things like canoeing and listening to music. While my hair went down to my shoulders and was never brushed, Rowan's hair was always spiked. In a way it should be, as he spent so much time and hair gel fixing it. Rowan also liked clothes and shopping. I could wear the same outfit all week while Rowan would change clothes every day and sometimes several times a day. 182Please respect copyright.PENANAwiYlpiFQY7
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You can see that Rowan and I were very different. However, we were very close as brothers. Rowan always had patience with me and was always willing to give me advice. He understood that I was different and did everything he could to support me. I, on the other hand, looked up to him, and he was a hero to me. I will not lie in saying that we always got on. Sometimes I could annoy him, but let's face it, that's the job of a little brother. 182Please respect copyright.PENANAeZxCztlxln
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We were at a children's home that was run by the Catholic Church. We did not know who our dad was, and our mom was not allowed to take care of us because she had a gambling problem and mental problems. This means Mom would spend all the money we had on her gambling habit and would not have enough money for us. Child services noticed that we were being neglected and took us away. This made Mom very mad at Rowan and me, as she thought we complained to a teacher, and this made Child Services come and take us. Mom has never visited us since we moved to the children's home. 182Please respect copyright.PENANAgaEBrlz01R
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This is why Rowan told me that someplace out there, there was someone who loved us and would like to give us a home.182Please respect copyright.PENANAi11Wtc0mrJ
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I knew two priests in my life. One was our uncle. His name is Father James, and the other was the priest at the child's home. As I said, the child's home was run by the Catholics. It was called “Saint Francis Home for Children,” and Father Scott was the priest there. He was in charge of Saint Francis Home. I liked Father Scott was nice. He could be strict at times and had a lot of rules. Father Scott was also a good listener. He cared about us, and that was the most important thing. Besides this, I loved Father Scott's masses. He was a smart man, and Rowan and I loved when he sang during mass. 182Please respect copyright.PENANASkFmI7oWtG
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Rowan loved anything to do with water. While I wanted to be a pop singer when I grew up, Rowan wanted to be either a trash collector or a sailor. Rowan loved canoeing. I tried rowing a boat, but I only managed to row the canoe in circles. This always made Rowan laugh, and he would end up telling me he would row and I could just relax. I never complained that he had done all the work. I loved Rowan talking about what clothes he would buy if he had money and how he thought Father Scott always told Rowan to tidy up around his bed.182Please respect copyright.PENANAFVUlWhwlFQ
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There was a lot of gossip about a new religion teacher that would start at the school. Her name was Pastor Rivers. I was told that she was a black woman, and that did not bother me. What confused me was that she was not Catholic. She was what they call an evangelist. I had no clue what that meant, as I have been surrounded by Catholics all my life. I thought it was a bit confusing that a Catholic institution would have a non-Catholic to be a religion teacher. I am sure Father Scott knew what he was doing. At least it was something that we children could talk about. Pastor Rivers must be a good teacher because she was hired by a Catholic institution.182Please respect copyright.PENANAitNlq6tj72
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I did not have time to think much about religion class. I was in a boy's choir as I loved singing, and we were preparing for a show. I was excited to do the show, as I had some solos that I liked. When I sang in the choir, I felt as if I was doing something I was good at. It made me feel like I could escape into another world. I do believe that music is healing and can change the world. Rowan was also in the choir, but he did not like doing solos. He always panicked when he did a solo and was always worried his voice would break halfway through the song and he would sound like a frog. 182Please respect copyright.PENANAc6LdjkUyND
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I liked being at Saint Francis home. I had some good friends. One was a girl. Her name was Clara. I will talk about her later. One was a boy, and his name was Quinn. He was the same age as me, and we did everything together. Quinn loved dancing and Harry Potter. I agree magic could be useful if it could get rid of homework. It was shortly after we heard that Pastor Rivers would be starting at the school that Quinn told me that he was getting adopted. Quinn was so happy that he was getting a new family. I was not happy. I was devastated. He was my best friend, and now he would be leaving. Still, I did my best to be a good friend and pretend I was happy for him. At least Quinn would be close by. 182Please respect copyright.PENANAb8hXvvLTPY
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Maybe I would never be adopted. I was not the nicest boy in the world. I avoided the chores at the Francis Home, and I always got in trouble during classes. Father Scott used to joke and say I had a daily appointment at his office for something that I had done. In my defence, classes can be very boring, and I doubt that we could use a lot of what we learn when we are older. Who cares if King Henry VIII had six wives? It just meant that he was an impossible man to live with. I do not know why I got into so much trouble. I don’t think I was a brat; I just think I was misunderstood. 182Please respect copyright.PENANAdtXzjCJYeX
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I did have one girl that was a friend. Her name was Clara, and she was the same age as me. I should feel very lucky that she was my friend, as she was very picky about who she was friends with. We had a love-hate relationship. We teased each other constantly. I teased her that she had this long ponytail and that she had an obsession with unicorns. Clara thought that she was a unicorn. I thought that people were locked up in a padded room for thinking like that. Clara was quick to reply when I started teasing her. She would say things like when God created me, he couldn’t figure out if I would be a boy or a girl. 182Please respect copyright.PENANAahV1UjAUv4
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Pastor Rivers visited the Saint Francis home to get to know us before she started teaching. She was dressed in a long dress and looked like a queen. I had never seen a black person before, so I was excited that she was the first one I ever saw. Pastor Rivers came to one of our masses. When she came in, she stood in front of the altar and laid down on the floor on her belly, stretched out, praising God. We all stared at her because we had never done something like that. We usually just kneel before the altar. That was not the last time she shocked us. When Father Scott was giving his sermon, Pastor Rivers kept on disturbing the sermon by shouting “Praise God” or something like that. Sometimes she would interrupt and say what she thought. I did not know you could interrupt the priest during his sermon. Otherwise, I would have been asking if the sermon was soon done. 182Please respect copyright.PENANAY51qIsB47W
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It was soon after this that I annoyed Rowan. I was bored, so I put a frog in his bed. I suppose that I knew that this would be bad for Rowan, as he was terrified of frogs. This is probably the reason why he had a panic attack when he saw the frog. I couldn’t stop laughing as Rowan was jumping up and down and screaming, asking how the frog got there. He must have known it was me, as when he calmed down, he came over to me and flicked my nose as well as promising revenge. 182Please respect copyright.PENANA8GXZJd3eTe
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Quinn was excited about his new family. I met his new mom, and she seemed very nice. She smiled and talked about the life that Quinn would have. To be honest, I was so jealous. Quinn was going to have a mom that loved him and wanted the best for him, while I would be stuck here. Quinn told me once that it would be hard for me to find a foster home or get adopted, as not many wanted to adopt two at once and not many wanted to adopt a teenager. 182Please respect copyright.PENANAxHzRCVpUhc
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I knew that this was true. I did not understand why no one would want to adopt Rowan. If they got to know him, they would love him. I heard of stories where siblings were separated, and this was a big fear I had. Rowan was family. He was my brother, and he was the only person in the world who loved me. I did not want to be separated from him. I would rather be at Saint Francis's home for the rest of my life. Father Scott knew this and promised that we would not be separated. 182Please respect copyright.PENANACOCWGsiqhX
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Rowan did get his revenge on me. He replaced my clothes I was asleep with girl clothes. So the next day, when I woke up, I panicked and wondered what I should do. I could see a smirk on Rowan's face and knew this was his revenge for the frog, so I decided to take my punishment with a smile. I put on the girl's uniform and didn’t complain at all. To be honest, it was not that bad. It was not the first time that I wore a dress. I wore the girl's uniform with a smile on my face. When I sat at breakfast, I could hear everyone whispering under their breath. Clara was the first one to say something by asking me if I was a girl now. I replied that I was as much of a girl as she was a unicorn. Father Scott ended the fun by giving me a boy uniform and telling me to get changed. 182Please respect copyright.PENANAybUMTr7q0L
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Pastor Rivers had her first class that day. She was going to teach religion, which was strange enough, as she would be a non-Catholic teaching religion in a Catholic school. Pastor Rivers entered the classroom. She was dressed as a queen like she was when she came to mass. She also did the same as she did in the mass. After Pastor Rivers entered the class, she laid down on the floor and praised God. I whispered that I hoped the floor was cleaned. Clara whispered back that she doubted that it was as the classroom was my chore. 182Please respect copyright.PENANAcsnvvph2S4
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Pastor Rivers gave us a book about Noah's arc. I whispered in Clara's ear that the reason there are no unicorns. There were unicorns on the arc, but Noah got hungry, so he had unicorn steak. Pastor Rivers overheard this but continued to talk about... I don’t know what. Then Leonard's stomach grumbled, and he asked a bit too high when lunch was. This must have upset Pastor Rivers, as she stormed out of class. We all sat there with confused faces. It must have been a record that a teacher lasted 4 minutes in our class. It sort of made me proud in a strange sort of way. 182Please respect copyright.PENANAfcBx2VVXvq
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Clara told me a few days later that she heard that Pastor Rivers sent Father Scott a rude and arrogant letter accusing the school of not taking our faith in God seriously. Father Scott never commented on the letter, and it was only something Clara overheard. Though Clara's gossip was usually true. I think she eavesdrops on the teachers. I did not understand why Pastor Rivers would leave a classroom because someone was hungry. How could she judge if we were serious about our religion or not? I pray every night before I sleep. I need God's help to stop Rowan from always flicking my nose.182Please respect copyright.PENANAho3Hl2QGDs
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Well, that's life; I figured I would never see Pastor Rivers again.