Pastor Rivers confused me at times, like when she told the people at The Gospel Spirit Church how special she was. She had suffered so much and had so many health problems, and she considered that these were trials from God, and she accepted all this suffering as a way of showing God that she was faithful. The concept that one should suffer to prove one's faith in God confused my little brain. I do not think God wants us to suffer. I think he just wants us to believe that he is a friend and Jesus died for our sins, and we should try to be good people. It's like Pastor Rivers was proud of all the strokes she had, her low sugar levels, and her heart problems. We heard about them in every sermon she had done. 90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRYCF6lCir8
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During one sermon, Pastor Rivers told us that God has a special mission for her. We heard that she was anointed by God. This made my brain work over time, as being anointed by God seems very important, and it is like she had the sole responsibility of representing Christ here on earth and converting people. Pastor Rivers had no problem telling us how many she converted. To me, it did not seem right for some reason. It seemed as if it was boasting, and I remember when Father Scott told us that pride is a sin and humility is a virtue. I think Father Scott is right. I, for one, was very humble when my school grades came out. 90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaE4piB7NwX
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Rowan did not think about these things as much as I did. In fact, his faith seemed very private to him, and he rarely discussed it. I remember once that he told me that one did not have to be a Christian to be a good person. Rowan also told me that I was still at an age where I asked a lot of questions. My big brother knew that Pastor Rivers said some strange things, and she was not perfect. His answer was not to think about it and just shrug his shoulders. Rowan had the ability to ignore and forget the religious things Pastor Rivers said. He told me that it was not important to him. I could wait until I became a teenager when I could stop thinking. 90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYUwiK5YclW
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Pastor Rivers was so happy that she was asked to give sermons at Father James Church. She would say that it was good that different churches, even when there were different denominations. This also made me proud that my uncle and my foster mom could work together. I think that Jesus would agree as well. As when he did come to earth in his second coming, he would not think he must preach at a Catholic church or The Gospel Spirit Church; he probably would just preach where he could, even in the middle of a busy street. I am sure he would preach to the people who need it—you know, the people who have gone astray in their lives. Still, Pastor Rivers was right; it was good that the two churches should work together. 90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUsrugEFbqY
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Flynn could see how confused I was at times and told me that religion should not confuse me. He also thought that it was Pastor Rivers who confused me by some of the things that she said or did. Flynn would also tell me that I was still a child and should not think so much. He invited me to see an old ruin of a castle that was on his new mom's ground. The castle was one of Flynn's most favourite places, as he was a Harry Potter fan and thought that the castle should have been in a Harry Potter movie. As we explored the castle, I did not see any ghosts or magical creatures, but it was great fun. I managed to have fun and start smiling again, and I felt like a child again and did not have to speculate about so many things. Flynn noticed that I was more relaxed and having fun and wasn't mentioning my foster mom every second sentence, and this made him smile. He told me that I would only be a child once, and this meant that I needed to make sure my childhood was a fun one and full of play, games, and laughter. Flynn sounded like Rowan, but it made me think that maybe they were noticing how much the world confused me at times, and it was like I did not know where I belonged. 90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWJlbMZAykW
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Before I went home, we sat in the dungeon area of the castle. Flynn told me that at times he was worried that I was surrounded by religion. There was religion at Saint Francis home; my uncle was a priest, and now my foster mom was a pastor, and my bedroom was a storage room in the corner of the church. Flynn did not think it was healthy to be surrounded by so much religion that ended up confusing me, then he admitted that he was an atheist. He did not believe in God but did believe in supernatural things like spirits and whatnot. I think Flynn was afraid I would not be his friend because he was an atheist. To be honest, that did not bother me; Fynn was a good person and a great friend. That's all that mattered to me. 90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAYnhuLCSHW
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When I told pastor Rives that I had fun exploring the castle and that I had learnt that even atheists could be good people despite not reading the Bible, she stopped smiling and had this annoyed look on her face and told me that she would pray for Flynn. 90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn1y46MpVSe
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Mr. Frank's cancer was getting worse, and I think he was trying to find peace with God. He even tried coming to one of Pastor Rivers's prayers. He knew how she preached at Father James Church but said that her prayers at The Gospel Spirit Church were just way longer. Mr. Frank was a person who was not afraid to say what he thought and was honest with me. He told me that he did not understand why her sermons should be so long and ended up in a screaming session when the content of the sermons was so little. Mr. Frank explained that her sermons were not humble. She made sure we knew about her suffering and how she was anointed by God. Mr Frank was critical, thinking that Pastor Rivers saw herself as God's only anointed here on earth. He told me that her sermons had very little substance and were filled with sound bites and a lot of Bible quotations that never explained what they meant to us. I just shrugged my shoulders when he said all this, as I was taking Flynn's advice and trying not to think so much. 90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCSkUG9dSTr
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Being a child was not easy, and I am sure many will agree with me. It was hard just to forget the world around us and everything the adults were telling us. Exams at school were one area where adults wanted to see how much we listened to them. It was time for exams at school, and I hated exams. I had one goal, and that was to get better grades than Clara. She was another person that confused me. She was my age, and she was the only girl that I knew that liked the school uniform so much that she had no problem wearing it all the time. Clara even loved doing exams. She also liked cats and unicorns, but I could live with that; however, we must admit that liking your school uniform, homework, and exams makes her "special." Still, she was a good friend, although she did get better grades than me. I suppose we are all special in our own way. 90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡupNsHcEGhJ
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Pastor Rivers still did her sermons at Father James Church, and she still did not respect Father James' wishes for short sermons and not to scream. Father James did have patience with her, and I give him credit for that. Pastor Rivers had an idea that we would do a pizza service where there would be pizza after the prayer service. Father James thought this was a good idea and suggested that the pizza service would be done in the church garden. He was shocked as well as everyone else when he came and found that she basically tore up the church garden apart and made it look like a cheap pizza outdoors cafe. When Father James came, she was about to remove a statue of Mary, as she thought it was too Catholic. I thought when cartoons showed steam coming out of people's ears, it was just something in cartoons. Now I could see that this was not right, as there was steam coming out of Father James' ears as he reminded Pastor Rivers that this was a Catholic church. Pastor Rivers argued that her followers were not Catholic and used some Bible quotations. This did not change anything. Father James reminded her that they were guests at a Catholic church. The pizza service went well, although the pizza was cold because her sermon was so long. I could see that the whole experience affected Father James, as he was not smiling as much as he usually did. He did not tell me what he was worried about, as he told me I was a child and Pastor Rivers was my foster mom. I was not that stupid. It looked like Pastor Rivers was trying to change Father James Church and make it less Catholic. 90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzYIyBs13tm
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I do not know where Pastor Rivers had time. Remember that I told you that she promised that we would have a home and not have to sleep in the storage room? She planned to use an old building next to the church complex and rented it. I understood money at such a young age and wondered how Pastor Rivers could afford the rent when she could not even pay for the church complex and her medicine. We were excited we would get a proper house, but Pastor Rivers changed her mind by saying God instructed that the house be used for a Bible study house as well as a retreat centre. What could we say to that, as we could not complain as God told her to do it? So Rowan and I helped clean the old house, which was fun enough as it was so nice seeing Pastor Rivers so excited. Flynn even helped, and he was a hard worker. I liked sitting down and watching him work. Rowan told me not to worry about living in a storage room, as it was not that bad. This was easy for Rowan to say, as I did not snore or get up when most people were asleep so he could do his job as a newspaper boy. I do not know why he did newspapers, as he gave what little money he had to Pastor Rivers when she complained she had no money for medicine. 90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeL5ItFI0aC
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We found out that Pastor Rivers would not keep the promises she gave. She promised us a proper house. She promised that she would spend more time with us. She even promised that she would go rowing with us. She never kept the promises because she had to work for God, spend time in prayer, or do her market things. In the beginning, she would tell us what she was doing, but after a while, we had no clue where she was. We would have to find her ourselves, which was not that easy in that huge church complex. I should say that she did come rowing with Rowan and me once, but even this was strange. While Rowan was praying that he found all the leaks in the boat and I was complaining about Clara, Pastor Rivers was in another world working on a sermon. 90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLS0jP08rKY
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You may be asking yourself why we did not just tell Father Scott that we wanted to go back to Saint Francis home. The truth is that we loved Pastor Rivers. No one is perfect, and we all have our own strange ways. Even Rowan can be strange at times, but I think this is the same for all teens. We just had to accept Pastor Rivers for who she was. We had to adapt to this new life. It was not all about us. We had to understand that Pastor Rivers had an important mission. Besides all this, Rowan and I did have a lot of fun. We made our own treehouse, which meant in a way we no longer needed the storage room. It was great that we had a place that made us feel a bit normal. We would hang around all the time around the treehouse and even had our own campfire. Pastor Rivers visited the treehouse once, and that was the only time she visited it. 90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6nUTMDrO3S
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Father James forgave Pastor Rivers for destroying the church garden without permission and making it less Catholic. Pastor Rivers told him she never said that, and he just dropped it. He told her that while some of his congregation loved her passion, they did not like that the sermons went on and on and would end up with her screaming and shouting. Pastor Rivers smiled and explained that the Holy Spirit took over. Father James told her maybe this meant that the Holy Spirit did not help him as his sermons were not long and he had no need to shout. I think I gasped, as even I could see that this was Father James' way of questioning her and asking if she was sure. Pastor Rivers did not see it as a criticism and took it as a compliment. She promised her sermons would be the 10 minutes that were agreed on. I should say that even this did not work as she once again broke a promise as the next sermon she gave at Father James Church was the longest yet. 70 minutes! Imagine what torture that was for a 9-year-old. I was afraid that Rowan would start snoring. 90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGAWLfGLp3O
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Maybe it was because I was surrounded by religion all the time, but it was around this time that I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wanted to be a priest, a Catholic priest, and maybe even a pope and a saint. Father Scott smiled when I told him this and told me that this proves that miracles still happen. Then he reminded me that even many saints started with a life that could not be considered saintly, so there was hope for me yet. In the meantime, he suggested I enjoyed being a child and not be impatient. 90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZDk8OFhvn
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When I told Clara that I wanted to be a priest, she started laughing and nearly fell to the floor. I wonder why she thought the idea of me being a priest was so funny….90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡipHDmOITty
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