“She wasn’t even a day old.” My little sister Olivia cried into my shoulder.
“I know.” I replied, as I looked at the tiny casket that held the body of our niece who only lived a few hours before she died.
“I can’t even imagine what Cait is going through right now.” She said, and let go of me.
I didn’t answer her. I almost said something about how strong she was. The truth was however, different. I saw how distraught she was. She grasped onto her husband, Colin.
I sighed, and walked on to see the other grave stones that lay in the ground.
My Nonna lay in the ground. Next to her was my uncle, whom I had never met. And next to him was my Zia Olivia. I remember her from when I was young. She got very sick, and ended up dying. I was maybe ten.
“She was an incredible person.” I heard from behind me.
It was my mom. When she was sixteen, her family moved to America from Ireland.
“I never told your dad, but she was my favorite out of all of his siblings. You remind me a lot of her. Both incredibly brave, and not afraid to be yourself. Unlike me.” She took her hand and put it on my cheek, then sighed. “I’ve missed you a stor.”
I wrapped my arms around her. “I’ve missed you too, mom.” She was a few inches taller than me.
After I let go of her, she adjusted my hair, and smiled. Then without another word, she turned and walked away.
I looked at the gravestones of my family that had passed, for a little while longer before Olivia found me.
“It’s time to go.” She told me. I could see that she was still crying a little bit.
We started towards the car.
She looped her arm through mine. “I’m so glad that you’re home, Vi. How long are you staying?”
I shrugged. “Probably until the new year. I don’t have anything planned yet.”
“I hope you do stay for a while. I’ve missed my favorite big sister.”
Olivia and I were always very close. We had a sister, Lena who was born in between us, but she always wanted to be with the older three, Nora, Sara, and Cait. We also have a baby sister named Mia. Olivia is closer with her than I am. Mainly because of the twelve year age gap between her and I. Olivia and Mia were only four years apart.
My dad insisted on taking me to the grocery store with him to get the things we needed for dinner.
I could tell the entire time on the way to the store that something was weighing on his mind. The energy in the truck was awfully full.
He and I split up in the grocery store, to make the shopping go by faster. I was sent off to get things we would need for the salad. I was examining tomatoes (which were last on my list) when I heard a voice from behind me.800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ23zARkqhvm
“Violet?” It asked.
I turned to see a friend from high school.
“Sam!” I exclaimed. “How are you, it’s been a while!”
“Yeah!” He replied. “It has. I’ve been well, thank you. How about yourself.”
“I’m okay.” I smiled.
“What have you been up to?” He asked me.
“Oh traveling. I just got back from a year away.”
I noticed my dad coming up behind us. “Did you get everything?”
“Oh. Yeah, I did.” I said to him, motioning the basket in my hand.
My dad motioned that he was ready to leave.
“Look Sam, I’ve got to go. Maybe we can catch up soon?”
“Tomorrow okay?” He asked.
I nodded.
“Ten AM, Roasties?”
“See you then.”
“Your mother and I have been very worried about you.” My dad told me.
“I keep hearing that.” I replied.
“Well, we have been.” Silence filled the surroundings until he spoke again. “Are you planning on leaving again?”
“Probably, but not until after the holidays. I long for a good nights sleep in my bed.” The thought was most pleasant.
Neither of us said anything for a while. The energy thickened in the car.
“You know Cait, Declan, and the kids probably won’t be at Thanksgiving on Thursday. Your mother felt it best to give them space.”
“She’s very strong.” I replied.
“No parent wants to put their child in the ground. No matter what age.” He said to me.
“That may true, but sometimes you can’t help what life throws at you.”
We were in the driveway now.
“Violet.” He said. “I need to tell you something. We wanted to tell you before the rest of the extended family knew.”
I became very curious as to what he was talking about. “Dad…..”
“I’m sure you noticed Sara wasn’t there.” He looked at his hands which lay in his lap.
“Now that I think about it, yeah.” I gulped. “Dad, what’s going on?”
He closed his eyes.
“Sara doesn’t have very long left to live.” He said to me. “She’s dying.”
“You’re playing.” I scoffed.
He looked at me, and I could see the tears swelling in his eyes.
“No.” I replied. “No.” I shook my head. “Why didn’t anyone tell me?” I was very saddened and angry.
“We only just found out.” He said to me. “We wanted to tell you in person.”
“That’s the poorest excuse for not telling someone something that important. I’m sure that Nora already knows, doesn’t she?”
“Sara told her before she told us. You know how close they are.”
Tears fell from my eyes, and I stormed out of the car, and went into the house.
I stomped up the stairs, and slammed the door to my room. I felt like a teenager, but at the moment, I didn’t really care. I was so angry.
There was a tap at the door.
“Go away.”
The door opened anyways. Olivia popped her head in.
“I have your stuff.” She said.
“Come in then.” I said to her.
A blue maine coon cat came running in behind Olivia. Gus. He was one of three cats that we had. Gus was mine. He jumped up next to me, and began purring immediately.
“Hey Gus.” I said to him, and began petting him.
Olivia had started moving my things in the bedroom.
“You really didn’t have to do that, Liv.”
“It’s not a big deal.” She shut the door, and came and sat opposite from me.
“He told you, didn’t he? About Sara.”
I nodded. “Yes. He did.”
“She asks about you. All the time.”
“Does she now.”800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPE7iBitYXm
Sara and I were never close. In fact, she used to treat me horribly. I never forgot, and I never spoke to her after she moved out. Even if my family drug me along, we wouldn’t say anything to each other. Finally when I was old enough to get a job, I made sure that I worked every time we would go to their house. There would be inevitable times where I would have to see her, but nothing would ever be said between the two of us.
“Look, I know you hate her. But you should still at least give her a chance. Sara’s changed. She really has.”
I didn’t respond.
“Violet, she really has. Not just…. now. She was never nice to anyone. But she’s been working on herself. I’ve noticed a change. I wish you would just open your heart and at least hear her out. Then you can make the decision on whether or not to give her a second chance.”
“When did you become so wise?” I asked her.
“I wouldn’t call me wise.” Olivia stood up. “Just think over it, okay?” She said and left the room.
I busied myself, unpacking my things from my pack. I started to upload my photos to my computer.
There was a knock on my door. I knew it wasn’t Olivia, she usually just waltzed into my room.
“Who is it?”
The door slowly opened, and my mom came in. She had a tray in her hands. “I brought you tea.”
Mom looked for a place to set down the tray, and opted for the empty side of my desk.
She nervously wiped her hands on skirt.
“Violet, a stor. I’m very sorry that your father and I never said anything sooner. We really should have.”
I didn’t respond for a little while. “A phone call was the least you could do. Nora lives in Connecticut and she knows.”
“Yes, I know.”
“But no one thought to tell me.” I said quietly.
She sat on my bed. “I’m giving you a fore warning. We’ll be going to Sara and David’s tomorrow.”
“Yes, I know.” I told her.
“Sara is desperate to make amends with you.” She suggested without saying anything that I sit by her on the bed. She liked to braid my hair while we talked. Ever since I was little it was something we did.
“Olivia said that too. Why does she want to make things right with me? Why now?”
“Your sister has a lot of regret in her life. She’s worked exceptionally hard on the way she treats others.” Mom combed her fingers through my hair. “The way that she has treated you has affected her more than anything else. I don’t think she’ll be able to live with herself unless you forgive her, a gra.”
“I don’t know if I can.” I admitted to my mom. “After everything she has said to me.”
I could feel her fingers working my hair into a french braid.
“She’s learned from her mistakes.” I could hear my mom sniffle. I knew that she was crying, so I turned around and wrapped my arms around her.
At first, she was alarmed, but then she silently cried into my shoulder.
When mom was done crying, she quietly left the room.
I was left alone to my thoughts, and they brought a lot of nerves on. I ate my sandwich and then got the sudden urge to leave the house and go for a walk.
I was half-way down the block when I felt myself being followed.
It was Olivia. I could tell that she had been crying.
“What are you doing?” I asked her.
She shrugged. “I saw you were leaving, and I wanted to join you. Maybe get coffee?”
“What’s new with you?” I asked her, as we sat down at a table in the corner of the room.
She looked down at her cup, and back up at me. She took a big breath.
“You can’t tell mom and dad this, they don’t know. I’m not ready to tell them.” Olivia looked intently into my eyes.
I urged her to go on.
She took another deep breath. “I’m seeing someone.”
“Okay.” I said. “And?” I think I knew what was coming, but I wanted her to finish telling me.
“Her name is Sierra.” Olivia said, and her face went completely white.
“When do I get to meet her?” I asked with a smile.
“You want to meet her?” The color in her face slowly started to come back.
I nodded. “Well, I have to see if she’s good enough for you.”
“She’s actually here.” Olivia said quietly. “Sierra works here. Her break is soon.”800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc53AQN6ReR
“I’ve got nothing but time.” I took a sip of my coffee.
Sierra was tall and blond, and was very outgoing.I could tell that Olivia really liked her and I could also tell how overly nervous she was. They couldn’t have been together for very long, due to their body language.
When Sierra left, Olivia seemed to calm down again.
“So?” Olivia asked me.
“She’s very nice.” I replied.
“You like her, then?”
“Her first impression was good. You will have to bring her for dinner one night, and then I’ll really know.”
“Do you think mom and dad will be okay with it? I haven’t came out to them yet.”
“You want me to be honest with you?” I asked her.
She nodded, and I could tell that she was nervous again.
“Mom knows, or at least she’s figured it out.”
“How do you know that?” Her eyes widened.
“She and I talked about it before I left. She asked me if I thought you were bi, and I told her that I thought you were pan. You had said something to me about love knowing no identity for you.”
Her head fell into her hands. “Oh god. I’d hoped you had forgot about it.”
“You honestly think that It’s a big deal to me?” I asked her.
She just shrugged. “I’m so nervous to tell mom.”
“It’s not like we’re super religious. Besides, mom loves all of us unconditionally. Same with dad. As long as we’re happy and healthy, they don’t care.”
I felt my phone buzz on my lap.800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ29Brc0Z3Hl
It was a text from mom. Dinner was almost ready, and we had to go.
Olivia went and told Sierra goodbye, and I met her outside.
“Thanks.” She said to me.
“For what?” I asked her.
“Not making a big deal out of this.”
Mom was putting the food on the table as we walked in the door. Dinner was always something we did together.
Dad was at the head of the table. Mom on his right, Mia next to her. I sat to the left of my dad, and Olivia next to me.
Dinner was chicken, mashed potatoes, and broccoli. None of us did much talking apart from asking to pass each dish of food.
Olivia and I silently cleaned up dinner. When we were done, Olivia followed me to my room. Neither of us said much. The company of each other was enough.
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