I did not sleep well the previous night. I spent most of the time at Sam’s trying not to cry. He told me that I should just let it out, and not hold anything back. I didn’t want to be seen as weak and vulnerable.
My mom took me to Sara’s while Olivia and Mia were at school.
Sara and I sat next to each other the bed, but neither of us talked. Elizabeth watched her shows while she cuddled with her momma. I could tell by her wincing that Sara was in pain.
I started to move to help her, but she quietly shook her head, and tried to relax next to Elizabeth. I wasn’t sure what to do. I panicked, and went into the bathroom for a moment…. What if something was going to happen when I was in the bathroom?
I couldn’t help myself. Tears just would not stop flowing. Try as I might….
I took a deep not very reassuring breath, after I had mostly stopped crying.
Sara noticed immediately; well she probably suspected because I was in the bathroom for such a long time.
Elizabeth had fallen asleep in the time that I was in the bathroom.
“I.” She took a breath. “Told mom to come.”
“I don’t want to leave you alone.” I replied.
Sara tried sitting up, but I told her to stay where she was. “I’m fine.” She told me, but ultimately gave up the battle with herself.
We were both in silence for a moment.
“Dave wants to hire a nurse.” I could see that she was tearing up. “He thinks that it’s time for hospice to come in and care for me.” Sara put her hands on her face and started to cry. She then wiped her eyes, and looked at me. “I haven’t told mom yet, and I am scared to. She’ll insist on taking care of me instead, and I can’t have that. I can’t have her throwing her life away for me.”
“She’ll find out, Sara.” I told her. “It’s mom, she’ll find out.”
Sara took a breath. “I know. That’s why-”
I started to shake my head. “I can’t do that. I don’t want to be a messenger.”
Her icy hand touched mine. “Please?” She begged.
“It’s going to hurt her more if I tell her, and not you.” I told her. “This isn’t for me to tell her. It’s for you, and for David to tell her. Not me, not anyone else. You two.” I was about to leave when mom opened the door.
Her smiled faded when she saw my expression. “What’s the matter?” She asked.
“I need air.” I replied, and my eyes met Sara’s. Her hand slowly moved back to her side.
I met the cool air outside with a sigh. I felt my phone buzz from my pocket. Probably Sam. I didn’t feel like talking to anyone at all. Tears started forming in my eyes, as I watched the snow begin to fall. My head still spinning with what Sara had asked me to do.
I couldn’t be the one to tell mom. She had to, no matter how hard it had to be. Eventually mom would find out, and either way it would hurt her.
I continued to watch the flakes fall, and melt as soon as they hit the grass. Before I knew it, my bare feet had hit the grass and I stood in the middle of the yard, and looked at the graying sky.
I saw movement out of the corner of my eye, and my mom was at the doorway.752Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡerLRUc83fz
“Get your things, it’s time to leave.”
She tried to hide it, but I could see the hurt in her face, as we were driving home.
Neither of us said anything. I stared out the window and watched the corn fields roll by. I hated Ohio. I hated this situation. I hated watching my sister die. I hated everything, I just wanted to leave. To leave everything behind.
I saw Sam as we pulled up. He was outside with his dad, looking at one of the cars in their driveway.
I had hoped he didn’t notice me as I trudged to the door. I wasn’t happy, and I didn’t want to talk about it. To anyone. Even to him.
I watched the ground as I walked behind my mom to the house. I’d hop he would understand that it wasn’t him.
I spent the following hours with my music in my ears, and my eyes making invisible patterns on the white ceilings. Until the darkness slowly crept around me until I was asleep.
A loud ‘bang, bang, bang’ woke me up.
“Vi, get up.” Olivia said, and jiggled the handle of the locked door.
“What time is it?” I looked at my phone, it read 3:07 AM.
“Sara’s in the hospital.” Olivia said panicked.
“What?” I shot out of my bed and scrambled to put some clothes on. “Is she okay?”
Olivia wasn’t at the door anymore, I knew this because there was no answer.
I found only Olivia downstairs in the livingroom.
“Aren’t we going to the hospital?” I asked her.752Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWmcfu9wXGP
She shook her head. “No, we have to stay with Mia. Mom said she’d call when she’s there.”
“You should go back to sleep, Olivia.” I urged her
Olivia shook her head. “I can’t sleep, and I don’t want to be alone. Stay up with me please; just until mom calls.”
“Fine, fine.” I replied and took my coat off and went to the kitchen. Mom’s remedy was always tea, so I made Olivia a cup. Just the way she liked. a little sugar and some milk.
She smiled as I came back into the room with two cups. I sat by her on the couch. We waited to hours until dad called.
“Hi Violet.” He said quietly. “Sara’s okay. They’re keeping her on oxygen now. She was having trouble breathing. Your mom is with her now. I didn’t want to wake her.”
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