“Ah. Christmas.” Olivia said with a smile. The scent of pine surrounded us. “Tis the season.”
“Yeah. Tis the season.” I said quietly.
We were each separated into pairs of two; minus my dad who went by himself.
“We have to find the perfect tree. Sara can’t have anything but the best.” Olivia said matter-of-factly. I followed her through the rows of trees.
I had found a few good trees, but nothing grand, or dazzling. Like Olivia said, Sara did deserve the best. This was her last Christmas. It was our last Christmas as a full family.
Olivia ran off somewhere. I didn’t mind, she was incredibly excited, and she was also much better at finding things than I was.
I heard her excited shrill, and went off to find where she was.
“No, I was here first. I have staked my claim to this tree.” Olivia was saying to a chubby man, and little girl who stood in front of him.
“But my daughter picked this same one out.” He calmly explained. “We’ll just take it now.”
I could see the tears swell up in Olivia’s eyes. “But we need that tree.” She looked at me, and back to the man. “I don’t think you understand…”649Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPH2m1c0tqf
“You’re what, sixteen? You’re going to take a tree from a young girl?”649Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeFblggsV6Q
Her face turned red, and she arched her eyebrows. “My older sister is dying. This is her last Christmas. This tree is perfect, and I need it for her.”
The man stood in silence.
“Olivia, just let him take it.” I said to her, quietly. “Just leave it.”
“I will not. Sara deserves this tree. She’s not going to get another Christmas. If she makes it to Christmas. Don’t you get it, Violet?”649Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzM9akXroMK
“Of course I do, Liv.” I raised my voice just a little more. “What do you think I’ve been dealing with? We’ve all been dealing with? It’s just a tree, Olivia.”649Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHnoqnxaqHO
She fell to her knees. “It’s not.” She cried into her hands. “It’s not just a tree.”
The man hesitated. He looked at his daughter, and then back and Olivia. His daughter tugged at his jacket.
“Just take it.” I told him with a forced smile. “She’ll be okay.”
The man took one hard look at the tree, and then handed it to me.
“Here, I’d feel guilty taking it.” I could see sadness overcome him.
“Thank you.” I replied.
“I was young when I became a dad for the first time. A son, Daniel.” He smiled, but I could still see the pain in his face. “He was only a few months old when he found out that he was sick. Daniel was always a happy boy, even until the end.” The man looked down at his daughter. “Daniel didn’t make it to one. He’d have been twenty this year.”
“I’m very sorry to hear that sir.”
A small smile crossed his face. "Daniel would have wanted you to have the tree." Was the last thing he said before taking leading his daughter away.
Olivia directed my dad and David in taking the tree up the stairs. I could hear my dad’s grumbling about Olivia’s directions. My mom sat back and watched.
I followed Nora into Sara and David’s room.
After we saw that she was having a few minutes alone with Elizabeth and Rosie, Nora and I went downstairs with mom and Lena to help her bring up some of the Christmas boxes. Olivia followed shortly after.
We looked through each of the boxes in silence. Today was already becoming incredibly emotional, and we hadn’t even started decorating yet.
After bringing up the boxes to the room, mom went down to make everyone coffee and hot cocoa. I figured she needed some time alone to get her emotions out, and I think I wasn’t the only one who thought that. My dad however, followed her. It was best to leave the two of them alone for the time being.
Olivia and David started stringing the lights on the tree. Nora started sorting through the ornaments, Harlow, Liam, and Ezra of course wanted to help their mom. Lena and Gregory took the boxes down when they were done. I sat on the bed next to Sara, and played with Elizabeth. Sara held a sleeping Rosie. Mom and dad came back soon after and handed out drinks.
Decorating the room (which was very difficult to maneuver in when it was crowded) was a fun, but I could feel the emotions from everyone as it came to an end.
I had to remove myself from the house after it was all done.
Cait and her family had arrived for dinner. She didn’t say much to me other than hello. Maisie, James, and George all ran to give me a hug before entering the house. Her quiet husband gave me a wave before going into the house.
Olivia found me after about an hour, and sat next to me.
“What are you thinking?” She asked me.
I sighed, and tried to collect a sentence to sum what filled my head. “If only I could put it into words.” I replied.
Olivia didn’t respond. Instead, we just sat in silence as we watched the sun start to set. The shades of red that filled the sky were unlike anything else. I took my phone out to capture the beauty, though the picture would never do it justice. Soon, life as we knew it wouldn’t be the same, and damn it I wasn’t ready. I don’t think I ever would be.
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