I can’t seem to face up to the facts334Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr9Os0kV20r
I’m tense and nervous and I can’t relax
--Talking Heads, Psycho Killer
MISCHA WAS ALONE now in every sense of the word, after three hours with her friends, who had tried everything in their power to talk her out of her position. They'd begged her. They'd tried guilt. They'd threatened her. They'd even offered her money.
When LaForge had arrived at dawn, Lindsay and Nicole Richie pleaded with him to let them accept he deal without her, to sever her from the "package." But he was steadfast. The point was to end the trial, and without Mischa confessing, it wouldn't end.
No deal, he said, unless Mischa agreed to it.
"You can't do this to us!" Lindsay cried to Mischa, as the guards pulled her out of the room.
"Please, Mischa. Please reconsider!" Nicole Richie pleaded as they dragged her away.
Mischa was left alone in the room while the others returned to their cells. She buried her head in her hands and let time pass. At some point, sweeping exhaustion overtook the stress and she lay down on the concrete floor. Mischa drifted off a couple of times for a few minutes, but mostly it was a long, timeless stare at the wall, pondering how her life had come to this and what lay ahead.
She raised her head at the echo of footsteps on the concrete floor. Her stomach was calling to her, so it must have been somewhere approaching noon, but she really had no idea.
Sebastian Knapp walked through the sell door. A guard closed it shut behind him and walked away.
"Tough night, huh?" Sebastian said.
Mischa nodded, rose to her feet with some effort, pain shooting along her spine up to her neck.
"I talked this guy LaForge, Mischa. He says he'll give you have one more chance to say yes."
She wiped at her eyes and shook out the cobwebs. "I can't," she said.
"What do you mean 'I can't'? Yes, you can."
Mischa looked away from him.
"Think about your friends....."
"Don't do that," she snapped. "Don't make me responsible for them. It wasn't my idea to make it a stupid package deal."
"What about me? What about your sisters?"
She looked at him. How could he say such a thing to her? What did he think she was doing? How could he not realize that her sisters were the only thing she was considering? Even at the height of her pain, after discovering his betrayal, she'd never felt a chasm between them as wide as the one she now felt. It was as if Sebastian Knapp didn't know her at all.
"Sebastian, how can I ever look Zoe and Hania in the eye again if I admit to something I didn't do? How can they live their lives with courage and integrity if I abandon my principles the moment the going gets tough?"
He stepped toward her. "You tell them you did it so you could get out of prison someday. So you could spend time, later in life with your sisters, and, maybe, with me. I mean, really, Mischa." He placed his hand together, as if in prayer, as if beseeching her. "Are Zoe and Hania better of with a principled sister who spends the rest of her life in a shitty French prison?"
She brought her hand to her face and tried to keep her composure. "They'll know their sister had the courage to stand up for the truth. Doesn't that count for something?"
"Mischa....."
"And what about figuring out what the hell really happened, Sebastian? Why aren't you and Aubrey spending every waking moment trying to turn over every possible stone to figure out who really committed this crime? Has that thought every crossed your mind?"
Sebastian took a breath. "That's not fair, Mischa. You know we've done everything we can."
"Nearly nine months," she said. "Nine months, and not a single clue as to who framed us? How is that even possible?"
"That's not the point. Not anymore."
She grabbed he hair and held her breath. This was sensory overload. Too much. Finally, she gathered herself and gave it one final thought. "I'm sorry," she said. "But I can't."
"Oh, my God!" Sebastian opened his hands. "You're really going to turn this down."
"Sebastian," she said.
He put a hand against the wall to steady himself, shaking his head furiously.
"Sebastian," she repeated. "I need you to be with me. I can't do this alone. Everybody..." Mischa's throat choked closed. She tried again, in a hoarse whisper. "Everybody else is against me. I need you on my side. Please!"
"No." He shook his head emphatically. "I can't support this. I won't. You're screwing over your sisters, your friends, and me." He raised his hands in surrender. "And why? Out of principle? Because of the truth?"
Mischa drew a breath and took a hard look at the man she'd called her boyfriend. She had the distinct sense, at that moment, that she wouldn't be calling him that much longer.
"That's exactly why," said Mischa.
Red-faced and flustered, Sebastian moved his face within an inch of hers.
"I hope you realize, Mischa, that this is all on you now. Like it or not. Whatever happens to Rihanna and Nicole Richie and Lindsay. Whatever happens to your sisters. Whatever happens to our relationship. It's all because of this decision you're making. It's all on you and you alone. Are you prepared to roll the dice on all of that?"
She wasn't prepared for much of anything that was happening to her. And she wasn't rolling any dice. She was just doing her best to keep her nose above water.
She'd lost so much. Her privacy, her film career, her reputation, her life as she knew it. There was only one thing she still had----her integrity. She couldn't let them take that away, too.334Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIVaSh6OqdQ
Sebastian was right. Fair or not, she was making this decision alone. And that, she now realized with a sensation so palpable that it stole her breath away, was how she was going to get through this whole ordeal.334Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUT7oR9qX9T
Alone.334Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ496DflcIQS
