[Trigger Warning: Suicide Attempt, Self Harm, Drug Abuse]767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNs9M5EUzYJ
What's the point? That one thought swirled in my head as I stared up at my ceiling fan. Round and round and round and round. I watched the wooden blades spin, blurring together. They'd keep spinning and spinning until I flicked the switch or the power went out. Keep going in an endless circular motion with no destination as they kept my room from being too stuffy. Yes I was still drowned by the heavy presence of my meds seeping from my side table drawer. They had been insistent for a while now, a couple weeks.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0KEpkehVd7
I sat up and pulled one of them out. Ten identical circular blue tablets. They made me incredibly drowsy and knocked me out within a half hour. I stared down at them. I set them back down on the table and headed downstairs, returning moments later with a glass of water. I methodically popped the pills out of their packaging. They made a nice little pile on my wooden desk. I felt my heart grow warm, an unfamiliar feeling, as I swallowed them one by one. Once all ten were downed I grabbed my other medication, brittle yellow circles that didn't have any obvious side effects but the more the merrier, right? I downed all seven of them easily and stuffed the packaging back in my drawer.
They hit me hard and fast. I lay in bed, curling on my side like usual. Pulling up my duvet and tucking it under my chin like usual. But for the first time, I closed my eyes with an honest smile.
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