"..and all we could do is wait. We wait till one of us escapes. We wait till one of us returns. and every once in a while we wait for something or someone to reminds us what life is like on the other side." R.M.Drak
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"Put the rag on the ground and step away from it slowly."
I winced at the sudden voice, my head snapping up to find its source. Miles stood on the threshold of the bathroom door; hands on hips and furious expression on his face. Across of him, kneeling before a toilet seat, armed with cleansers and rags; I was cleaning my frustrations off. For as long as I've been aware of the world, when my heart was stunned and mind preoccupied, I've always used cleaning to ease them both. Miles was well aware of that, he had used that tendency of mine in for his own selfish purposes before.
"This stops now," Miles continued firmly, cocking his head towards the sparkling bathroom we were in. Ever since last night when I talked with Finn, I've barricaded myself from others with rag and the cleanser and dove headfirst into my own coping mechanism. I had not overlooked, however, the way Miles and the rest of our roommates evaded me up until now, just as I was finishing up.
"What the hell are you doing?" Though his question was mostly rhetoric, I still opened my mouth to inform him of the obvious answer. However, with one hand raised in the air, Miles shushed me. Stomping towards me, he roughly pried the rag from my clenching fingers and led me away from the toilet and into the living room. "What was that?"
"I'm doing an academic research on the ever philosophical theme 'No man is an island?'"? My previously formulated response ran out of my mouth in a beat, tough when Miles narrowed his eyes that statement came out more as a meek question.
"Finally!" A voice that belonged to our roommate Drew, who was fed up with my antics; was heard. She popped her head from behind the door of her room and gave Miles a pointed look. "You need to get her out of here, she's been shouting - and I quote - 'No, Friday, watch for them sharks' all day long. It's not funny anymore."
What can I say? Even tough cleaning was in more than one way my release, eventually even I got bored, and my imagination was wild enough to make me Robinson Crusoe. Drew fiddled with her shirt, pulling it on ansdstepped out of her room, stoping short in front of the mirror by the front entrance.
"Don't worry Angel, Charlie is here!" Miles beckoned, trying to crack up a joke in his own, quirky way. Drew however, didn't find it funny for I heard her scoffing while dabbing third layer of dark pink lipstick on her full lips, but I giggled. Miles sense of humor was something I had always found endearing.
"You need to get out here Lex, and forget about that ex of yours," Drew further commented, her hand shooting up to tousle her strawberry blond hair that cascaded down her slim back in feminine ways. Her hair was exactly like those pictures we saw on Instagram, like freshly out of most professional hairdresser's hands and presented to all the girls in the world to fume in jelosy. "The campus is full of other fishes, hot fishes," she continued, checking herself up in full length mirror. Miles and I exchanged a look when Drew not so subtly winked at her own reflection before collecting her Prada bag and turning towards us. "You just need to swim a little bit further from the shore."
Miles and I exchanged another glance, amused by Drew's sudden philosophical tendencies, but quickly sobered up once she threw us a glance over hers shoulder.
"Ciao losers," Drew hollered, winking at us and the door was slammed upon her exit.
Drew wasn't actually mean to us, quite contrary I actually had a feeling she liked us, tough being blunt was part of her personality. First time when we met a year ago, she made clear that she was only here because her parents forced her to spend at least two years in the dorm before renting an apartment, and that she was not interested in making friends with us. However, I had a inclination that she broke that rule long time ago.
"She's right, you know" Miles scolded. "it's time you abandon your island and be saved. Even Darren agrees"
Our fourth and final roommate Darren was studying medicine and between internship in university's hospital and mountain of textbooks, we didn't see him very often. Sometimes, I wondered how his 'Walking dead' like schedule kept him among livings; yet he knew everything that was going on. That was the reason I wasn't surprised that he added his two cents via Miles' mouth.
Miles sighed tiredly, and sat beside me; his soft eyes filled with sympathy he tried to cover up. My own eyes decided that his gaze was too much to endure and fell on my wrinkled fingers. They mocked me and shame overwhelmed me; its weight suffocating.
"You are making me wanna slap you," Miles said through sigh, scooting closer to me and leaned onto the back of the couch. Resting my head onto his shoulder sigh of my own escaped my lips.
"I would probably deserve it."
Miles's arm snaked over my body and he pulled me closer kissing the top of my head. His hand was gliding up and down over my arm and it was soothing. He didn't comment on the state our suit was, that was inversely proportional to my inner torment and I appreciated it. But of course, he couldn't help himself saying,
"You are letting him do this to you again."
Seeing Finn again affected me more than I was prepared to admit and I was ashamed because of it. I never wanted to be weak, it was one thing I have sworn to myself that night when everything ended but I couldn't control it. My heart had a mind of its own and decided to bask in pain for a while.
Miles had been there when I had my first breakdown when things between Finn and I ended and through my entire 'recovery' with me. He was patient, ice cream giving kind of person I needed by my side at that point, which tied our friendship bracelets to a point they would never rip apart.
"I know," I admitted, for he was the one person I could never lie to. Suddenly he popped his fingers as an 'Eureka' sign and jumped up, pulling me along as well.
"I'm taking you out tonight," he announced in final tone but I groaned loudly in an unladylike way. "Nuh-uh, I won't have any of this. There's a black light party for welcoming freshmen, and we are going to rock it!"
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