CHAPTER 12 (Tchau meu amigo)
ALEJO: I watched the trail. Roberto got the death penalty. I wrote him a letter, and assured him, I will take care of Alipha and the twins, oh and his Mama. They found him dead the following morning, he hung himself. I wonder if it’s something I said? I did as I promised. And then I continued to see my patients. The ‘Canary’ sang his last song. As for the murders of his wife and children, and his old Mama, I took care of that the morning, before I took care of Eloa. After Carlos, I went straight to Roberto’s Ma’s house, that notebook, the man really wrote it all down.
I went out, I screwed who I wanted to, I ate when I wanted to, and I did kill Marisa, I don’t like whores. Eloa, was an epic whore, thinking it was all right to fuck Ian and Breno, even though it was just me. That’s why I killed Liz, I had watched her for days, hopping from one man to the other. That is so disgusting. It all worked out, the semen they found in Marisa, matched Roberto’s DNA. Roberto had been to the boathouse, the same week I killed Liz. I had my fun, and I kept his semen. I knew Eloa was helping me, I was the one that fucked up her car. I knew she is what the locals called a swinger, and that disgusted me, but it served my purpose. They all served my purpose. As for my best friend Roberto, he got on my bad side the night Mama, died, he asked too many questions, and I don’t like confrontation. As the years flew by, he became the bane of my existence, an albatross around my neck, always in my business, I watched him break into my house. I knew his fingerprints would be all over my house, and the day of the Wake, we all shed hair all the time. I knew Eloa had drugged my drink, hell that’s my MO. So I threw it into the plant while she was busy, then I could really go to town. I followed her to the valley, I had no idea where Roberto lived, and the rest is history.
I do want a wife, I like having a wife. She keeps me somewhat occupied. I love the dogs, and Fuffy, I will never harm an animal, they are so accepting.
Its early, the sun is not up yet, I fed the animals. I need to run, anger and resentment is building up in me. I loathe Marisa, I think I loathe Eloa even more. I ran, I ran in the deepest, darkest parts of the park, I pushed my body. “Can I see him?” Slap. “Can I be with Breno.” Slap. I run her voice echo’s in my head the sweat is pouring off my face, and it’s raining, it’s been raining for two days. Throb- throb. I run I push, the air is tearing at my lungs. “Let me see your scares.”
“They all used me, all they wanted was Breno, even Roberto, liked Breno more that he liked me or Ian. I trip, I fall face down in the mud, I am soaked in rainwater, and mud. I try to wipe the mud from my eyes. “What the hell?” I look at what tripped me, I crawl closer. “A body, a naked body, of a woman.” There is something in her mouth. A piece of paper. I sit in the mud and unfold the paper. It had two words written on it. Lorena Ferreira. I jump up, I sprinted home. My clothes are drenched. I have to strip it off before I can enter the house. Jesse and Jordo are barking and jumping around for me to open the door. “Wait, let me get the mud off.” I used the hose, there was mud in my hair, my mouth. My clothes are ruined, I threw it away. All that mud would clog my washer. I grab I kitchen towel, and try to dry my feet. It was futile. I left marks all over the tiles, I had a shower, and scrubbed myself from head to toes. I dressed in my suit. I had patients to see today. I looked at the note. Everyone that knew Ian and Breno are dead.
I drove to my office, and I watched the news, no mention was made of the body in the woods. I asked my receptionist, to send in the first patient. My concentration, was all over the place, I think I nodded for an hour, I was trying to think who in the hell knew about Lorena. I wrote a prescription for my patient, and told her to make another appointment for next week, the same time. The day flew by. I didn’t go out for lunch, I kept working, my mind was a whirl of questions. “Who?” I didn’t realize I had a patient with me. He didn’t mind answering, so we continued the session. I took an hour’s break, I wrote down the names, of those whom knew about me. I sat back. “They are all dead.” I should know, I killed most of them with the exception of Roberto, he hung himself. My neurosis set in big time. I called the morgue, identified myself, and asked them to send over a death-certificate. They did so, post-haste, then I called the funeral home, and asked them to verify, where Roberto was buried, they told me he was cremated. The church would not bury, a suicide. Yeah, I knew that much. I asked who collected the Ashes, I heard him pull up a file, on his keyboard. “An Aunt, Maria Brasi Oliveira collected the Ashes.” I asked for an address. He narrated one to me. I asked my receptionist to cancel my appointments, and to reschedule for tomorrow. I drove to the address, and I knocked on the door.
“bom Dia, signora Oliveira.”
“I know who you are. Come inside Ian.” She was really old, she offered me tea, and a maid brought it. I was looking at the photos on her mantelpiece, there were so many photos of Roberto and I. it commemorated our entire school life. “Where did you get these, signora?”
“Roberto, loved you very much, Ian. He would visit me often, and each time he did, he brought me a photo, of the two of you.”
I looked at the Urn, it’s not like I can look inside to identify the body. “I am sorry he died. I am sorry he was falsely accused of murder.” That was the truth. I sat and sipped my tea. Maria had a shawl around her shoulders. “Nothing you could have done, Ian. Now my Roberto watches over me, the day I died, he will be placed with me in the family-crypt.”
That explained that. We spoke of school, and how well Roberto did as a detective. “He really was the best in Bonito.” I said my good bye. I know I won’t be back here. Roberto saw Ian as brother. I can’t look at those photos. I do feel a tinge of guilt, but the note I found on the body, is by far more worrisome. I listened to the news on my way home. Nothing about the body in the park, I stopped to get the mail before I drove into the garage. Bills, and adds, and an unmarked envelope. I petted Jesse and Jordo, and fed miss sleepy, her nasty smelling cat food. Well as long as Fuffy likes it, I shouldn’t complain.
I sat on the couch and opened the envelope. Inside I found four photos, of me. Front, back, and sides, all my scares were visible, these photos were taken this morning. Throb-throb, throb-throb….
I scratched Jesse. “How?” I walked to the backdoor, then I stepped outside, I look in the trashcan, my muddied clothes were gone. My neighbour? No, he is ancient, I looked yonder, there was a large tree in the other garden, whom ever took these photos was a pro. I went back inside and drew closed all the drapes. I made supper, my tummy was protesting in all sorts of ways. I fed the animals, had a shower, and watched a movie, with them all over me, they made me feel safe. I went to bed around twelve. I slept until my alarm went off, that had never happened before. I bumped something, must be Jesse, and I switched on the light, I screamed. There lay a body in my bed, how did a body get into my bed? I checked myself for needle marks, as I thought. I pulled the paper from her mouth, it read Elizabeth Campbell. I rolled the body in my sheet. Then had a shower, I will dump the body. I will run in the park in the opposite direction of my home.
After I dumped the body, and ran for my life. I went home to shower, my pulse throbbed in my ears, I fed the animals and went to the office. On my desk lay an unmarked envelope. I opened it up. It read. “Chasing after our rainbows END.” I went to Carolina and asked her who had delivered the envelope. “What envelope doctor?” I went back to my office, I am thinking of closing it for a while, it’s not like I need the money, I wished I could call Roberto. I need to find who is doing this to me. whomever it is, they know too much.
Carolina was single, and worked part-time for me, while she studied psychology. After my last patient, I asked Carolina if she would have dinner with me, and I was surprised that she accepted, the scare on my face, is horrid, it no longer had any appeal, it drags my face downwards.
There are two things that trouble me, the apartment block Marisa came out of, when THAT song was playing, and I don’t know who took a shot at me, this could be the person that’s tormenting me now. I have no idea what Roberto told that person.
I took Carolina to the best restaurant in town. I had no grievances against her, I will not kill her, I am not some random psychopath. I kill when it’s needed, I need to have a reason.
I ordered wine, and we sipped it while we waited for our main course. “Carolina, I need to ask you a professional question. Describe Dissociative identity disorder to me.”
“Doctor..”
“Call me…. Ian, when we are not at the office.” I smiled, I could feel the scare on my face pull the other way, I seldom smile, and I avoid mirrors, I go to the barber to be shaved. I, Ian used to be an attractive man, Breno even more so. I, am the scraps that fell from their table.
“Ian, I am in my first year, but I can give you a list. Firstly, lapses in memory, forgetting anniversary’s and birthdays, theirs and family members, blackouts, literally loosing time, mmm, changes in their handwriting, hearing voices in their heads, there can be numerous personalities trapped in one body, each has a different calling per se’, one can be the alpha, on the lover, and the other a protector, mmm, neurosis and paranoia go hand in hand, depersonalization stepping away from a situation that can affect them negatively, so basically, one of the other personalities steps in to deal with a bad situation.”
“Can a personality, turn on one of the others?”
“Yes, it can become the alpha, and basically kill off the other one, and become the dominant personality, but studies have shown, that it doesn’t last long without treatment, another personality will eventually immerge.”
I like Carolina, she is unassuming, bright, and a virgin. It is my job to study people. After our dinner and desert, I asked her if she would like to meet my rat-pack, I showed her photos of Jesse, Jordo and miss fuzzy boots, Fuffy. She accepted, she loved the house. I love my house. The animals loved her, win-win. I made us tea. “Carolina, how much do you know about me?” She sipped her tea.
“Not much at all doc…Ian, I read about the deaths of your wives, my condolences. I know you are a brilliant mind, you are kind to me, and you have a rat-pack that adores you. I don’t need, nor do I want to sit and analyse you, I would like to be your friend, I would love to learn from you.”
“Do your parents live here in Alvorada? Do they contribute to your studies?”
“No, Ian, I work for you, then I wait on tables at night, my parents divorced when I was young, I have no siblings, that I am close too, I don’t know them. They all live abroad, I live in the dorms, and I work every day to pay my way.” I thought about it, and then I asked her.
“Carolina, will you marry me, and Jesse and Jordo and Fuffy? We don’t need to share a bedroom, I want to marry you, help you, I know I am not a handsome man, but I will never force myself on you.”
ns 15.158.4.12da2
