CHAPTER 4 (Two drifters off to see the world)
The mind is a powerful tool, it can be used to make or break, in my case, I think my mind is doing all the breaking. I have these flashes, I feel as if they are a part of a memory, yet I cannot connect the dots. My head hurts all the time, I feel as if my head is too full. Marisa and I mended fences, no bridges were destroyed in our insignificant spat. Yet, there I go again, I feel as if my life come to me in patches, never the whole movie. She went to work again. I don’t know why that bothers me. She saves lives, I should be proud of her, not sit here on the side lines throwing stones. I am up again. I can’t seem to stay asleep for long, something is nagging in my subconscious, it eats at me in my dreams, like Liz’s face, and other faces. I don’t know these people, I have never met them, but they are so vivid in my memory, I am beginning to believe, that I have met them. The mistakes are mine, not theirs.
I need to run, it is four a.m. I wonder what happened, why Marisa is not home. Well the run will clear my head, it always does. I showered, and packed my suit. I have a full day ahead, and the distraction in duly needed. Maybe I need to sit and talk to Roberto. I feel like a jigsaw puzzle, only I think I lost a few pieces. The jog was the same as every morning, the faces, haunt me. I run faster, I push harder, my chest is on fire, but I can’t stop. I need to run, I ran all my life, trying to leave the demons behind. Slap-slap. I want to hurt, I changed direction, there aren’t enough trees. Slap, it stings, it burns, but it doesn’t hurt enough, not enough to calm my mind. “Bastard. Take off your clothes.”
“No, Mama, I will wash it.” Slap, punch. She pulled me by my hair, the blood is running off my lip. Slap, the cut is bigger, she hit me with the beer bottle this time. “Take off your clothes, bastard.” I cannot recollect what happened after that, in my past profession, I would call this “depersonalization.” The mind switches off when the abuse reaches its apex. Run Ian, listen to your pulse. Throb-throb. Throb-throb. I have never run in this park. It is quite lovely. I stop. I wiped the sweat from my eyes. Marisa? What is Marisa doing on this side of the town? The hospital is in the opposite direction. I hid behind a tree. No I am not wrong. That is my wife climbing into her car. Should I approach her? I ran up to the car. She took a double take. And for a split second fear exploded in her eyes. I smiled. she rolled down the window. “Morning babe, fancy meeting you on the wrong side of the track.” She laughed. Yeah my imagination. “A patient?” I asked.
“Yes, sorry, babe, I am tired, and putting in extra hours, we are short staffed, and this serial killer, has everyone in a twist. I came to check on a patient with a pacemaker. I promise I will be home early and cook you a meal.” I leaned in and kissed her, a smell. That is not her perfume. Ian, breathe.
“Be safe, babe. I have a full day, so I should be home around six. Love you lady.” She drove off, I head back the way I had come. The smell, it was unfamiliar to me. I ran on the side walk, and I passed another car. Is that doctor Grayston? No I need to call Roberto. I really am unravelling in a bad way. “The anniversary.” I said out loud. “Who’s anniversary, mine?” I had to check my note book, I am paranoid and forgetful, so I write everything down. A sound reached my ears, I stopped to listen, it was coming from an apartment. I listened, I know this song, but it’s making me angry.
“There’s such a crazy world to see. We’re all chasing…” The music stopped. But the anger, revolted me, so did the song, it’s an old song. I will drive by later, I need to know who played that song. “Stop chasing your tail Ian.” I admonish myself. I called Roberto, we made plans to meet up for a beer at five. I sent a text to Marisa, I apologised. She good heartedly, assured me I can stay out as late as I want to, a break would be good for me. I had a busy day. The hotter it got, the more I believed I knew the faces in the backseat. It started with faces then escalated to nudity. I stopped and had a shower at a motel, changed my suit. The shirt was drenched and stuck to my back. I avoided the mirror for the rest of the day. When I dropped off the last passenger, I went straight to the bar. Roberto had I drink in front of him, and a pile of files, he sat frowning at. I ordered a beer, I am not one for hard drinks. “Bad day amigo?” I asked as I sat down, he smiled. The years are starting to show, I wonder if I look as old as Roberto does?
“Take a look at these, these are all the files we have on the ‘Canary.’ Why would you name him that Ian?” I looked at Roberto in utter confusion, so I turned the files and had a look. Hell this guy is as nuts as a fruitcake. That song, no not now….. Throb-throb, shit, not now. “There’s such a crazy world to see….”
“Roberto, tell them to change the song.”
“Chill Ian, I it’s nearly finished, what don’t you like the classics?”
Throb-throb. Slap-kick-punch, my head hit the kitchen counter. I see stars. “So, you like to watch your Mama, bastard? Sick pervert.” The man is pulling up his pants, I don’t know him from a bar of soap, I don’t know any of the men that visit Mama. “Eu sinto muito tio.” Why the hell am I apologising to a stranger, the reason I peeked, was to avoid this confrontation. Slap. My head bounced off the counted again. “Oh, now like men? And not your Mama?”
“I didn’t mean to look, Mama.” My head is spinning, blood is running down my face, I sit on the kitchen floor, I can’t get up, I think I am going to puke. Throb-throb. Slap. “Cale-se!” Mama shouted at me over and over, shut up-shut up. “Ian?” I look up at Roberto. Ian isn’t home right now.
BRENO: “Yeah, I am fine, just tell them to switch that fucking song off, and get me a cognac.”
IAN: “Not now Breno, he is a cop, man, stay out of my head.”
BRENO: “Nope, no, and hell no, the reason you are so weak, is because you allowed her to beat on you, you allowed it. I came along to safe your miserable life, so cale-se, Ian, and let the adults speak.”
I pushed the beer aside. I sipped my cognac, and I looked at the files.
BRENO: “All of these are on the ‘Canary’?”
ROBERTO: “Yeah, I think this is all that I have thus far. I need you to verify that these are all the ‘Canary.’ The MO, fits. All are strangled, all had sexual relations, prior to death. He doesn’t have a set routine, not from what I gather. He finds a victim, and that’s the end of it, young, old, male, female. He is not bias, that’s for sure. But, the reason I linked these five, look at this, there is a mark, it looks like a cigarette burn, right there, just below the rib. One burn, on each of the victims.”
BRENO: I touch my side, yeah just one burn, if they ever had to see me naked…. I know all the faces, I can recall, the place, the time, oh and the sex. The sex is always good, it’s like fucking for the first time, it lingers. Ian’s real first, and only is darling Marisa. Mine, well mine span longer than my arm, and no, I don’t kill them all. I have my moments. The thing is, I still don’t know what brings in these, moments, where I can love, and hate in the matter of seconds, I have to throttle them, I need to feel my hands wrapped around their scrawny necks, it empowers me. I become the Alpha. Why the fuck I sliced Liz, I cannot say. I think I wanted to hurt Ian, and I can’t hurt this fool without hurting myself. I don’t recall burning them, shit, I need to stop that. I finished my drink, then downed the beer, oh well waste not, want not. “Marisa is expecting me for supper, we will do this soon, Roberto, and that was an excellent find, the marks. Well done. Before you know it, you will have your man, amigo.”
Roberto shook my hand, and ordered another drink, his marriage had been on the rocks for years, not that Alipha, is a whoring slut, no that title belongs to Marisa. I headed for my car, a woman staggered next to me. Bingo. She was past the point of drunk, and calling a cab. “Signora, may I drive you home?” I showed her my Uber identification, not that it mattered, she could hardly stand. I helped her into the front seat, the drive to the boathouse can be tedious. We were well out of town, when I injected her. It was dark, and the road quiet. “Take off your shit.” She did as I asked, she was quiet co-operative. She had large breasts, stunning, I pinched her nipples until she screamed. “Yeah, scream baby, now take off the rest.” We were on the dirt road that led to the boathouse. I placed her shirt underneath her, and placed two fingers inside her, I stopped to kiss her, then I bit her, she didn’t seem to mind, so I bit her breasts, she rocked on my fingers, I pulled at her nipples she screamed, I know what is pleasure and what is pain. I pushed the seat back, not enough space. So I went around and pulled her out of the car, I pushed her over the bonnet, the heat was burning her, so I pushed her head down with one hand and entered her with the other. It was hard and fast, Marisa, was having her pudding with doctor Sexy, so Ian and I got none. Just before I climaxed, I pulled out, and climaxed over her buttock. I switched off the car, and carried her the rest of the way. Once inside the boathouse. I could see, how read her torso was. “Not to worry, honey in no time, that will not bother you in the least. I forced her to give me a blowjob, she gagged a few times, so I injected her again. Then I shoved her into a shower, and scrubbed me off her. She was by far more lucid, and she started to cry. “Now you went and spoiled the mood.” She begged for her life.
“No Mama, stop, please stop, I don’t want to do that, please Mama….” I wrapped my hands around her neck, her pulse throbbed in my hands, and I squeezed, I like it, I like the fear in her eyes, I like it so much, I can feel her pulse match mine, throb-throb. Throb-throb. I didn’t realise she was dead, the throbbing in my hands mimicked her pulse, I let her fall to the ground. I had a shower, now for the clean-up, it is so anti-climatic. I burnt her purse, this time I didn’t want to know her name. what to do with the body? I had burnt all her clothes. Shit I am running out of places to dump the bodies. I dressed in a clean suit, stepping over her, the bitch was lying in my way. Where the hell… ah perfecto.
I drove home, after I had a smoke, Ian would have a fit of epic proportions if he knew I defiled his body. The cops will find her, well no one would miss her. I placed her sitting on a park bench. All natural. I didn’t burn her, I wanted to, so killed my smoke on my own rib, along with all the other scares. I arrived home around ten. “Hi babe I am home.” Marisa was home, she warmed up my supper. We went up to the bedroom together, I showered, she was in her nightgown, I cuddled her, then slipped my hand under her night gown, Marisa had never had a tumble with me. she responded. Mm is doctor Sexy not enough? I went down on her. She was so shocked. Ian would never. I fucked her hard, she asked for faster, so I gave it to her. “So, do you like this babe?” Marisa stared at me in horror. “What? You are the one that grabs my ass, and shoves me into your cunt, so what is the problem now, I am I not good enough, too slow or too fast, babe?” Marisa pushed me off her. “Stop, Ian, this is not like you.”
“Really babe. But this is what you asked for.”
“Ian stop.”
“No.” The anger rose in me. I grabbed a pillow, and pushed it over her face, and I kept fucking her. I made sure I didn’t suffocate her, but the more she struggled the harder I fucked her. Whoring bitch. I climaxed. Left the pillow over her face, and went into the bathroom. When I came out she was still lying like that. “Stop fucking around Marisa, and go wash.” She didn’t move. I switched on the light. Marisa stared back at me with unblinking eyes. “Oh mother.” I felt for her pulse, there was no pulse.
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