SR: City & Colour - Little Hell
seventeen.
Eryn.
Marina wasn't in bed with me when I woke up. She wasn't at breakfast either. I sat there all morning, feeling the blood revitalizing me. A wave of guilt washed over me every time I felt how refreshed I was. I got so caught up in the moment, so turned on. The idea of biting her while she came was too enticing to ignore.
I finally gave up on searching where she was, especially since I noticed that Lance wasn't around either. I assumed they'd gone out to run some errands. It was the only thing that settled me.
Sagan was out on the grounds with Amelia and Denali. A ball was being tossed in the air and I could hear Amelia's shrill giggle. Perhaps, they wanted some company.
It would take my mind off Marina for a bit. I knew as soon as the withdrawals came in, I would need to lock myself away. I knew that Lance and Chris would find her friends for me, even if I wasn't there.
I thought about the possibility of being able to feed on the source without losing control, but I lived enough on this earth and lost enough people to know it wasn't possible for me.
"Ryn!" Amelia called, setting the volleyball and having it barrel to me. The force of Amelia's strength would usually leave me stumbling back a bit, but I caught it easily in my hands, my feet rooted to the ground. It's been a while that my age reflected my power. I almost forgot what it was like to be at full power.
"We're going to play a bit?" I asked, throwing the ball above my head. Sagan braced herself a bit, usually strong enough to bump my serves. I knew that this time around Sagan wouldn't be able to catch it at all.
I slammed my hand against the ball with enough strength to send it barreling toward her, but without popping. I watched it fly and head straight towards Sagan. She held her hands outward, propping herself to set it, but the ball was going too fast, too hard. The ball collided with her chest and she fell a couple of feet backward, skidding on the grass.
"Whoa," Denali muttered, turning to me, "that was killer."
Amelia ran to Sagan, helping her up. I approached them, wishing I curbed my strength a bit. I let myself get too carried away. "Sagan, shit. Are you okay?"
A small smirk played on the corners of her mouth. "I see the saint has fallen." Her sharp eyes met mine.
I tore my gaze away, taking a step backward.
"It wasn't like that."
"Why wouldn't it be like that? This morning she looked like she was never going to come back," she snickered, "but it's okay, we have you back now."
I shook my head. Marina wouldn't leave like that. Who was going to protect her from the vampires that wanted to hurt her?
"You are the vampire that hurt her," Sagan cackled, shaking her head. "I wouldn't blame you; her scent is positively delicious. I was deciding if I was going to feed on her yesterday. She was so close to me when we washed dishes."
I didn't realize I said that aloud. "Don't you even dare." She knew better than to do that.
"I'm sure you wouldn't mind, it's not like you mind us sharing anyways," A malicious grin made her way to her face. I knew that she was just trying to get under my skin. It's how Sagan normally was, peeling back people's layers of comfortability. She liked seeing people squirm and she knew how to press my buttons.
And every time, I played into it.
Anger coursed through my veins and I wanted to do anything I could to make her shut up. I knew it was the power that flowed through me had all my emotions heightened, but I couldn't stop it. Vampires were arrogant and impulsive when they drank blood and I knew all this already, and yet I fell into its clutches.
The next thing I knew, I lunged towards Sagan, my fangs protruding. I'm pretty sure Amelia and Denali were trying to pull me off, but there was no moving me. I palmed Sagan's face and shoved it into the grass. Her neck was exposed, the ultimate display of submission in our world. I grazed my fangs against her throat, causing a small whimper to emit from her lips.
"I'm sorry," she whispered immediately, breathing hard.
I got off her, turning to Amelia and Denali. They watched me with surprised expressions on their faces. A wave of pride went through me followed quickly by embarrassment. I should stay in my room until the mermaid blood was gone from my system completely, I thought.
I headed slowly inside, trying to ground myself.
Breathe.
In.
Out.
Everything was falling apart so quickly. Self-hatred curled in my gut for breaking my control. There were temptations all over. I couldn't repress the desperate need for blood. They were right, being around Marina was torture. I had no idea how long I could go without impaling my fangs into her tanned flesh.
What was I going to do?
I rummaged in my room, looking for the silver syringes I kept on standby. A small black leather case was thrown in between my bookcase shelves. I reached for it, shakily unzipping it.
"Fuck!" I muttered as my trembling hands dropped a syringe. I sighed, sinking to my knees and picking it up. I twisted the bottom and watched the liquid change.
Lemongrass and silver.
I could smell them even inside the cartridge, stinging my nose slightly. I took in a large breath and pressed the syringe against my arm, watching the needle embed itself into my skin. I hissed out in pain, feeling the burning sensation sweep across my arm. I could feel it spread up to my shoulder, flowing out and ebbing towards my chest and stomach.
I tensed, trying to ignore the tingly response in my legs. I lost mobility of them quickly, stumbling, and leaning against the shelves. I groaned, nausea coursing through my abdomen. Closing my eyes, I tried to think about anything else.
If Sybil saw me now, she'd laugh in my face. 'What'd you get yourself into again this time, girl?' She'd say. She wouldn't be angry with me. Knowing her she wouldn't say anything and let me go through the withdrawals in my room alone.
Just as I'm doing now, I thought. Except for this time, she isn't here to laugh when I hurl.
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