SR: Christina Peri - Jar of Hearts
eighteen.
Eryn.
As I laid on my bed, a myriad of emotions overwhelmed me suddenly. Fear curdled in my gut, but I knew this wasn't my fear. These emotions were too panicked, too much. They made me toss and turn, unable to settle myself down.
My eyes snapped opened and I got up involuntarily, whirling downstairs with the world around me in a blur.
Once I reached the basement, I calmed down bracing myself for what I was going to see. It was dark down there, but my eyes instantly adjusted. The room was small, but chicken wire cages lined the corners of the walls, connecting to a far end.
I could hear softs calls for help and thumping sounds. As I turned on the lights, Ally stopped moving, watching me through the wire. It was only a precaution in case she turned into a rabid vampire instead of a turned one. I didn't know how good my chances were of making a vampire. Turned vampires didn't really turn others. There was more of a chance that our sired offspring would be feral.
The chicken wire was coated in silver, and it could only keep newly turned vampires inside. The silver would hurt sure, but my tolerance was strong enough to open the wired door. Ally, on the other hand, poked it and hissed, backing up into the corner further.
"Where am I? Where is everyone?" Ally called out. She locked gazes with me and stepped closer, standing in front of the clasped door, "why am I so hungry?" There was a desperation to her voice that cried out to me. I could feel the inner workings of the sire bond come forward, her emotions wriggling into my chest.
I strode forward, trying to repress her fear and self-doubt. I already had enough of that to begin with. They were so strong; it was a struggle separating hers from mine.
"You were attacked and nearly killed," I replied while seeing gaze shift from curiousness to horror, "Your friends wanted you to live. I granted you another chance." Sybil would be laughing at me right now. She was so much better at doing this than me. For me, vampirism was the gift of life. It saved me when I thought all was lost. I only hoped Ally felt the same.
She slid down on the ground and held her head in her hands. "This... hunger. This is not another chance. This is Hell."
My heart went out to her. I'm sure to be the very thing you grew up hating wasn't something that you wanted to be. And I'm sure she felt the loss of her connection to being a mermaid. It wasn't just something you were, it was more spiritual than that. Her overwhelming sense of loss almost made me stagger.'
"It's going to be hard for a couple of weeks. We're at a friend's house of mine. We are all going to make this as easy as possible for you, okay?" I explained, knowing now more than ever she needed to be around positive energy. If she felt my doubt and my own fears, it wouldn't make it better.
Her shoulders shook as silent sobs wracked her body. "I don't want to be this. I don't feel anything. I can't feel anything. And it's so cold."
I knew all too well what she was talking about. After my body healed from my injuries, my mentality changed. Physically, I was more efficient but, emotionally, it was if I felt everything and nothing all at once.
"Everything is heightened, I know. Your human mind can't adjust to the vampire qualities and shuts everything down until you can accommodate the shift in your DNA. Once you adjust, you'll feel a bit like yourself again." I stiffened slightly, knowing the last part was a lie. Ally would never feel like herself again.
I unlocked the cage. Immediately, she rushed past me, shoving me with insurmountable strength.
I fell backward and she crashed into a stone archway, a yelp coming from her. Ally's speed wasn't something she was used to.
I rushed forward and grabbed her arms, yanking her backward.
She hissed, trying to shimmy out of my grip. Her strength was wild, making me grunt in response. I hauled her back into the wire cage and pulled a chair from the side, pulling it the doorway. I sat down, my gaze sliding over her fearful one. "We don't know each other well, but we should."
"I'm a monster," she muttered, drawing up her knees to her chest, "Flynn... he's going to be repulsed by this. Where are they?" Her head snapped to the side as if she was hearing something upstairs. I listened and could hear Anika nearby. Her heartbeat was slow and calming as she approached.
Ally's eyes were red, something that I knew she was going to have to get used to in time. "I can smell her."
I winced, hating how bad this was going. I didn't know the first thing to be a sire. I could only do what I was taught, what I was showed. I turned halfway and looked at Anika. "Not yet."
She nodded and left without a word.
I faced Ally. "We can worry about her later, okay? You're feeling a lot right now, I know."
"I know I feel horrible, but I can't feel it... I can feel my heart hurting, Eryn. Why?" Ally sobbed, the sound of her sobs sending waves of sadness and guilt over me. It took me a moment to figure out that the guilt was coming from me rather than her.
I clenched my jaw, pushing her feelings away again. If I weren't careful enough, my thoughts and feelings would be revealed. She couldn't find out what happened with Marina. She was already distrustful of me now, if she knew, there was no telling what would happen to her.
"Come with me, perhaps if you eat something, you'll feel better," This was the choice I had to make. For Ally to transition well, she needed human blood. I knew that much at least. I also knew it was risky. I didn't think Ally was stable to handle a live human. We needed to progress slowly.
I could choose to show her how to hunt for animal blood, but with Chris and Lance being here, I knew they'd do a better just than I was.
My slip-up last night was just a further reminder of how weak my willpower was.
I stood up, dragging the chair back, and letting her step through. She stumbled onto me and gripped my forearm tightly. I held onto her elbow as we bounded the steps.
Ally stood close by me, looking around the house in awe. If the place could keep her mind off her hunger for a bit, then so be it.
"This place is own by Lance and Chris. You'll meet them later, I'm sure." I replied, pulling her into the kitchen.
Shakily, Ally sat down on a stool on the island table. Her eyes widened and she touched the counter, running her fingers over the white marble. "Whoa."
I lifted a brow trying to figure out what was so fascinating about a table. Then it dawned on me, and I felt like an idiot. "Your senses are heightened, so your touch is sensitive."
"It's like I can feel every part of the stone," a small smile tugged on her lips as she ran her hands over the counter, "and my sight." She looked around the kitchen in awe. "It's like... super zoomed!"
I laughed and shook my head. "Everything is bright and vibrant. We can see a broader spectrum of colors. I don't know the science behind it, but it's something about seeking out prey easier." The second the words slipped out my mouth I cringed.
Ally's horrified gaze settled over mine. "Humans?"
Sagan interrupted the conversation, striding in with purpose. She did a double-take on Ally. "Is this the fledgling?"
Ally stiffened an uncomfortable expression on her face. "Fledgling? Who are you?"
Sagan watched Ally with scrutiny. "Do you still have your mermaid powers?" She approached her and leaned in, sniffing her, "your scent... it's different than—"
"Enough Sagan." I snapped, interrupting her next words. She was a lot in any sort of setting she was.
"I'm really not a mermaid anymore..." Ally trailed off, her voice sounding distant and forlorn. She was getting overwhelmed, her emotions of confusion and sadness punching me in my chest. I sharply inhaled.
Wordlessly, I approached the fridge and rummaged inside, hoping that Lance and Chris still had animal blood bags. I knew Denali and Sagan were fans of deer. I decided human blood would come for Ally later.
"You're not a mermaid anymore, so—" I opened the bag and pour it into a glass, "—you now need to sustain yourself. There are two different ways you can drink this. I prefer it warm, but maybe you'll like it cold." I shrugged as I placed it on the table. I narrowed my eyes and glared sharply at the distaste on Sagan's face.
Sagan rolled her eyes. "Well, now I'm just bored. Good luck with your sired." She tugged on the tunnel in my lobe as she passed by me, leaving Ally and me alone again.
"Where's Marina and my friends?" Ally asked. She was now standing, edging towards the doorway.
I waved my hand over to her. "Why don't you come sit again? Drink this. It isn't human blood, I promise."
Ally was scared, submerging her too quickly into all the information probably wasn't the best.
"What is it then?" She sat down again, captivated with the glass, but also fighting her instinct.
"It's animal blood, and don't worry the animal is still alive if you're worried about that."
Ally reached for the cup slowly, her hands shaking as she grabbed the glass. She pressed the rim of the cup to her dry, cracked lips. Within seconds, she set the glass down and wiped her mouth with the back of her.
"Better?" I asked.
She nodded slowly, her eyes as empty and haunted as the night I turned her.
"Ally?" A voice called behind me. I instantly registered it as Marina. I was so caught up in Ally that I didn't hear them come in.
I whirled around, searching her face for anything that showed she was okay. Marina glanced at me for a moment before running towards Ally and taking her into her arms.
That's when it hit me, the need.
It clung onto me desperately, pulling me into its dark clutches.
My fangs lengthened and I held onto the counter, holding myself in place. My mind was consumed by the need to have her in my arms. My fingers twitched, strengthening the urge to have her next to me.
I took a deep breath, trying to ignore the image of sinking my fangs into her thigh. It replayed in my mind on a continuous loop. I had to have her.
"Ally!" Marina cried out.
I snapped my head up, watching as Ally sunk her newly sharpened fangs into Marina's shoulder. I sped over, ripping Ally away from her.
"What do you think you're doing?" I roared, standing over Ally. My eyes shifted and my nails extended.
Ally's eyes were full of wanting, the same need. "That... I want more of that. Don't you feel it?" She snapped her gaze back to Marina as her body trembled.
I lunged, clasping my hand around Ally's throat. "You will never do that again," I hissed, baring my teeth.
Lance grabbed Marina and pulled her to him, shouting things that I couldn't hear. The buzzing in my ears was too loud, it consuming all my senses. All I could see was Ally in front of me, blood on her chin.
Marina's blood.
A sharp pain shot up my spine and the familiar burning sensation flowed through me. I shrieked, fumbling around my back to pull out the silver serum.
Turning slowly, I Chris stood over me with Lance pulling Marina towards the stairs. She held her neck and I could smell her blood. I folded into myself, trying to grab onto the counter before I fell.
Chris caught me before I could fall, settling me into the floor gently.
Ally stood up, speeding over and heading to the stairs. He grunted, yanking Ally by the back of her collar and shoving her to the floor with his other hand.
Chris twisted another syringe, impaling Ally on the arm. She screamed, writhing on the floor in pain.
"It hurts," she moaned, clawing at her arm. Within seconds her body was limp, blood tears falling down her cheeks as she stared at the ceiling.
I sighed, groaning softly when the burning sensation washed over me in another wave of pain. My body healed itself faster than ever, but it hurt so much more as well. The white-hot agony spread through my body, causing my limbs to become rigid.
"I'm sorry," I muttered, watching as Chris lifted Ally.
"I'm going to bring her to the detox chamber. I'm coming back for you too," Chris said, an expressionless look on his face.
I watched as Marina and Lance disappeared fully upstairs. I knew this wasn't Ally's fault. It was mine.
I was the one who was thinking about biting Marina. Ally must've picked up on that, unable to control herself. The memories of her blood were too strong for me and no doubt a newly turned vampire wouldn't be able to control herself even if it was her friend.
I failed Ally.
Most of all, I failed myself.
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