我和鄰居大姐姐的故事（Tier 1至3已完結/無課連載中） - 二百八十二

二百八十二

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「哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈！」阿必好誇張咁大笑起黎：「球星，你個人真係好幽默！」

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「你老味就幽默。」我屌鳩佢。

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條友又扮戇鳩了。

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「球星，穎琳bb好需要呢對鞋架！佢聽日就check out喇！」阿必一本正經地道。

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「咁你咪去還囉，關我乜撚野事？」

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「我咪話左我再衰多一次比劉sir捉到，我就可以提早執定包袱返香港囉！」阿必答。

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「喂我比劉sir捉到一撚樣死架喎！」我開始有啲火。

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有冇搞撚錯！

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你比人逐出隊就大鑊，我比人發現唔會逐出隊既！

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「你初犯點同呢？」阿必仲理直氣壯喎！

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「屌你邊個話初犯唔會逐出球隊呀？」我真係火都黎：「果日咁好彩比你兩個兜到先冇事咋！」

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其實都唔算兜到、都唔算係冇事。

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不過至少佢兩個仲有得坐響後備席上面。

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聽豪歌佢地講過，遠古時候（唔係我地呢一代）真係有人因為嚴重違反球隊紀律，比劉sir勒令即刻改機票返香港。

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順帶一提，劉sir已經帶左好耐隊。

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好似話甚至乎連大港腳都帶過。

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「所以球星你就唔好擔心。」阿必突然擺出一個寬大既微笑：「就算比劉sir發現，你都會好似我咁冇事既。」

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「屌你吖，你呢啲係求人既態度？」我不滿地問。

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「梗係！」阿必叉住條腰理直氣壯咁講。

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「屌你我唔會去！」我怒道：「你咪由得條八婆冇鞋著囉！」

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「唔得！」阿必擺出一副驚奇既樣：「你唔係咁對穎琳bb下嘛？」

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我心諗我一返到香港一定要即刻同淇淇告狀，等佢話比八婆儀知阿必響Christmas Ball同而家響日本既所作所為。

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「為左條八婆冇得踢香港隊，值得咩！」呢個先係重點呀！

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「梗係唔值得！」估唔到阿必其實幾清醒架喎…

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「咁咪囉！」我點點頭，再道：「由條八婆冇鞋著喇。」

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「咁又唔得，拎返比人喇。」

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頂你個肺，講到好似拎走佢對拖鞋既人係我咁喎！

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「屌你咩，條女收兵架咋！」我屌柒阿必：「你係佢啲狗公黎架？！」

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「冇錯，我就係狗公黎！」阿必挺起胸膛，理直氣壯地道：「請叫我做狗公必！」

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又估唔到佢會直認……

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「你係佢啲狗公，我唔係！」我都理直氣壯地道。

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「球星……」阿必突然露出白卡佬一般既智障笑容……

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我背脊一寒……

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三十分鐘之後，我拎左鄭穎琳對拖鞋戇鳩鳩咁企左響酒店樓下間便利店既門口。

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阿必本來想直接拎落去佢間房還比佢，但佢又話今次佢爸爸媽媽都響佢間房，但佢又唔想上黎拎，所以叫阿必落便利店等佢。

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佢唔想上黎可能係唔想見到我。

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但屌妳而家咪一撚樣要見到我？

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題外話阿必真係好撚煩膠。

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煩膠既程度令人難以置信。

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我記得我都講過，比阿必既戇鳩纏上左係好撚難甩身，但我以為自己係免疫。

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我都曾經以為我唔想做既野冇人逼到我做。

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但係阿必一晚之內就將呢兩個神話破滅左。

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屌，詳情我唔撚講，但條白卡佬真係痴撚線。

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我返到香港一定一定一定要向淇淇告狀！等八婆儀收拾佢！

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仲有，鄭穎琳條死八婆肯過黎未！？

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又遲到！

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搞到我一條友拎住對女裝拖鞋戇鳩鳩咁，人地仲以為我係痴漢！

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仲有，最緊要既係，如果比劉sir查房check到我唔響房，我就真係死鳩梗！

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阿必就有能力鳩up兜得到，我就冇咁既信心呀！

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就響呢個時候，酒店大堂部打開（我次次都好撚驚係劉sir），響一堆日本人當中，有條死港女優哉游哉咁向便利店門口行緊過黎。

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佢真係慢慢咁行過黎，屌佢老味，我忍唔撚住行上去，將對拖鞋隊比佢：「死港女，妳對拖鞋呀！」

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鄭穎琳一臉厭惡咁接過對拖鞋，皺眉問道：「點解係你既？仲有我叫林必才洗乾先比返我，佢有冇？」

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「妳理得佢點解唔黎吖。」我皺眉道。

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「咁洗好左對鞋未？」佢一副理所當然既表情。

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呢條死港女真係對住啲兵一個樣，對住我又變左呢個樣……

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如果阿必見到鄭穎琳而家呢副面口，又會唔會仲甘心做佢隻狗公？

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不過話時話，阿必好似不單止冇洗過對拖鞋，仲響我臨出門口之前著多幾次……

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「妖，洗左喇，妳返去聞下囉。」我內心嘲笑左鄭穎琳一下，然後冇再理佢，拿拿淋去搭返房。

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比我咁寸左下，鄭穎琳拎住對拖鞋發左下呆，之後一聲不響咁跟響我後面等。

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（待續）

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二百八十二

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