我和鄰居大姐姐的故事（Tier 1至3已完結/無課連載中） - 四百零二

四百零二

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「熙熙，唔好咁，冇事架……」秋兒姐姐急忙想安撫我既情緒：「我會一路陪住你架……」

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「走啊！總之我唔想見到妳！」然後再指住Jonathan怒道：「你都係！走！走！走！」

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呢個時候啲姑娘都走左入黎，問：「咩事？做咩咁嘈？」

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「秋兒，不如我地都係走先。」Jonathan拉一拉秋兒姐姐既手臂：「妳睇，啲姑娘都走晒入黎睇發生咩事喇。」

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「但係熙熙佢……」秋兒姐姐急道。

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其實我係咪真係想秋兒姐姐走？我自己都唔知。

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我淨係知道我每望佢多一秒，我個心就痛多一秒，仲要越黎越痛。

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「佢而家咁我地留響度都冇用。」Jonathan勸秋兒姐姐：「係我唔好，令佢諗起自己可能以後踢唔到波……而家佢咁既情況，我地留響度分分鐘仲會繼續刺激佢。」

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「但係……」秋兒姐姐雙眼仲係望住我，表情好著急又不知所措。

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「唔好但係喇。」Jonathan趁機拖起秋兒姐姐隻手拉佢起身：「我送妳返去先？」

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「……」半推半就之下，秋兒姐姐就比Jonathan拉住手咁拉左出病房。

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而我既目光，就只係停留響Jonathan同秋兒姐姐拖住既手上面。

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呢個就好似判左我死刑既畫面，一刀刺向我心中。

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全日最痛既就係呢一幕。

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難受既程度比起左腳既傷要痛上千百倍。

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呢一刻，我寧願自己兩隻腳都斷晒，都唔想秋兒姐姐比Jonathan搶走。

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佢地兩個離開病房之後，我開始冷靜返小小，面如死灰咁望眼前既兩位護士。

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除左兩位姑娘，周圍既病人仲有佢地既探訪者、親屬朋友，全部都用奇異既眼神望住我，隔離床果個阿怕仲不斷口up up咁響度講野。

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只係我一切唔再在意。

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其他人究竟係點睇我、點講我？

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我已經再感覺唔到、再聽唔到了……

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或者……

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一切都唔再重要……

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如果秋兒姐姐唔再響我身邊、如果佢真係屬於Jonathan既話……其他野已經唔再重要……

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明明係我自己趕走左秋兒姐姐……但就算而家既佢響我身邊，如果佢已經心有所屬，就算佢仲勉為其難咁肯抽小小時間陪我，乜仲有意思咩？

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我第一次感覺到咁難受。

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原來呢種心痛既感覺，可以比起斷腳既傷痛更加強烈。

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哈，原來相比起失戀既感覺，斷腳又算得上係咩？

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我訓返響床上面。

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咩都唔想再理。

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之後幾日，好似都有人黎探過我。

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佢地係邊個？

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唔重要。

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佢地講左啲咩？

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唔重要。

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我只係個廢人。

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一個同一時失去左生命最重要果兩樣野既廢人。

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我已經唔可能再好似以前盡全力咁踢波而唔影響隻腳。

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已經唔可以兌現同阿必既承諾。

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已經……

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唔可能再踢職業足球了。

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秋兒姐姐陪左我十五年，而家佢已經唔再會陪我繼續行落去。

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佢有男朋友。

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唔可能再好似以前咁留響我身邊。

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佢有男朋友。

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所以我唔駛佢可憐我、憐憫我。

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佢有男朋友。

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我唔稀罕佢手指隙度漏出黎，果啲多餘左出黎既憐愛。

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佢有男朋友。

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係啊…

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佢有男朋友啊…

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啊。

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佢同Jonathan好似有一齊上黎探過我幾次，但我每次離遠一見到係佢地兩個，就即刻發晒癲咁又嘈又鬧，口入面都唔記得講左啲乜野難聽既說話就將佢地趕左出去。

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最後一次……

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佢地最後一次黎而又比我趕走既時候，我見到秋兒姐姐擰轉面離開之前，雙目不斷流淚、面上滿是淚水。

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佢喊緊。

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比我講既野傷害到喊緊。

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哈。

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比起我，妳受既傷害算得係咩？

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唔好貓哭老鼠喇。

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「雖然余正熙可以出院，但佢仲要接受好長時間既物理治療，希望你身為阿熙既爸爸，可以比多啲鼓勵佢，陪佢走過呢段艱難既路。」醫生響我床邊對我老豆講。

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「嗯，我知架喇。」老豆點頭道。

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「仲有，阿熙呢幾日既情緒比較波動，你身為屋企人要留意下佢。」醫生望左我一眼，然後同我老豆講：「嗯，可唔可以麻煩余生你過黎傾幾句？」

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「好。」老豆點頭。

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（待續）

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四百零二

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