SUNGMIN was grateful for Ryeowook's help today. His friend was a great cook and Sungmin had asked him to make two bento boxes for him today. It made him feel like he was giving a lunchbox to a middle school crush but he didn't know what else he could do since Tao seemed to be okay with just getting his number in exchange for saving his life.
It's been a week and he had yet to get a request for any kind of help from Tao. All that he got was a "How are you now, hyung?" the morning after. After he said that he was okay but suffering a dreadful hangover from the police station situation he didn't get anything else from Tao. Not a single emoticon. Sungmin was not the kind who liked owing people anything. He figured he could reply to Tao slowly so he would be appeased.
"Meet me at the food quad. Noon. Don't be late." simple and direct. It wasn't like he was asking him for a date. And if anyone reads the SMS they would not think it was anything suspicious.
"De." was a frustrating reply. Sungmin couldn't help but compare how Kyu used to reply. The latter would probably say something like "Whoa, sure you want to be seen eating with a celebrity?" Kyu was a campus icon because of his great talent. He had actually started doing musicals when he got to New York. It wasn't surprising that he was able to get acclimated easily. Music can be so universal that it could bridge cultural gaps. And Kyu could sing beautifully in Korean, English, Japanese, and Chinese. That alone would land him so many auditions over there. Soon, he would probably have to come back home if any of the entertainment companies were smart enough to scout him. Kyu wasn't particular to pop but he could sing anything and it would be amazing.
Why are you comparing a dongsaeng and an ex? He caught himself at that juncture. Kyu is different from Tao not just because of who they are but what they meant to him. It wasn't likely that he'd make the same mistake twice. Dating a student was a trap. They all end up graduating eventually. He wiped a rouge tear and sighed when he got to the quad and saw that Tao was already sitting at one of the tables where students and teachers alike could sit in a circle and eat. Some of the students had their laptops next to them while eating. The generation of multi-tasking minds. He wondered if the food they were eating tasted like paper because of all the stress they were under. He preferred to eat without having to do anything else but wait for it to digest.
He got some bows and nods on this way to the Tao table. He saw that Kris was also there. He panicked when he realized that he only had food for two people!
"Sungmin-nim is the person you are waiting for?" Kris looked surprised. Tao had laughed at his friend's expression of shock.
"Yeah, didn't I tell you? I guess it slipped my mind." Tao was clearly messing with his friend.
"I didn't bring enough for us three..." he placed the bento boxes on the table.
"Oh, no worries, ssam. I'll go buy my own. I have a particular craving for having tteokbokki for lunch." Kris grinned and got up to go buy some.
Tao shook his head then pointed at the bento box. "Is this really for me?"
Sungmin smiled at the innocence that was painted on Tao's face. "Yes. Is it too much?" he didn't want to bring it up but he had to. "I was wondering how to help you out. You were not texting me anything that you wanted. So I figured that I could pay you back slowly with little things."
TAO was shocked that the gesture for the bento was still about the debt that Sungmin thinks the latter owed him. But he found himself giddy when he was opening the bento. His had a panda-themed rice rolls. And he couldn't help but clap. He didn't want to eat his panda brothers but he was too hungry not to eat anything.
Kris came back and saw the little pandas and has laughed. "How did you know that he liked pandas, ssam?"
"You do?" Tao nodded vigorously.
"I just thought that you looked like one." Kris laughed and pointed at Tao who was blushing.
"Pandas blush. Call Nat Geo, we made a discovery!" Kris loved teasing Tao, and Sungmin began to feel envious of the two.
"You guys seem to be very close..." was all that he managed to comment.
"If you think we are already super close, wait till you meet the other 10. We are in chaos when we finally get together. Off the hook crazy!" Kris had tteokbokki sauce on the side of his lip. Tao pulled something from a small black pouch. It turned out to be a tissue container.
"Thangsskss." Kris had food in this mouth when he thanked Tao.
"Yuck. So rude." Sungmin couldn't help but smile at Kris' pout when Tao reacted.
"You must like tteokbokki a lot." he had noticed how Kris had two servings.
"I just stress eat when I have the chance." Kris winked and ate some more.
"Wait, eat one of my pandas." Tao gave Kris one and the latter ate it while Tao took a picture of him doing that.
"I am envious." he didn't know that he said that out loud until the two guys fell silent. "Uhm, I mean...I have close friends too but we rarely see each other now. They are so busy with their lives that it takes a reunion to keep tabs on everyone." he was never the kind to talk about Super Junior, the original name of Harmony club that was started when he was a student in the same music department.
"Where are they now?" Kris was genuinely curious of his friends. Tao was busy playing with his pandas.
"Some are out of the country." Heechul and Kyu. "Others are professionals now. Some are actually someone you might already know. Do you know Siwon?" Kris and Tao looked up when he mentioned his co-members' names. He was a famous actor now. And he was a very marketable model globally. "Then there is Eunhyuk and Donghae, they're a couple and they live abroad." he felt envy when he mentioned the couple he and Kyu wanted to emulate. But then again, they came out of the closet right after they immigrated and had suffered a lot to keep their love alive all those years. Neither one of them were afraid to show that they were close while they were still in Uni. They officially became a couple after they graduated. When Donghae decided he wanted to get his MBA abroad, Eunhyuk teased him that the professors would not let him pass because of his bad grammar. So he went with him too. But shortly after they joined a gay pride parade and was caught on camera. The cat was out of the bag. And they made the formal announcement when they came back for Cheusok. The rest of the gang were not surprised but the reality was still a bit unnerving. Then Sungmin told his friends his secret too. It seemed like a good idea at that time. KyuMin debuted the same time EunHae became official.
"Whoa. You mean there was really some truth to the rumor that Siwon was a member of a singing group before he became an actor?" Kris was obviously a fanboy. Siwon was an exceptional kind of actor, he also did a lot of charitable work that endeared him to fans.
Tao finished eating his pandas and looked up. "Do you miss them?" Sungmin wanted to say Very much. But it seemed a little too pathetic at the time.
"A little. But we all had to go one with our lives. Adulthood sucks like that." Kris shook his head as if not wanting that to be true for his own group of friends.
"I wouldn't let that happen to me and my troops. We are going to be solid till we are all bald ajushi!" Tao smiled sincerely at that proclamation. Sungmin didn't want to say that it was exactly what they had promised each other. Forever15. But a hyung left Uni and went back to China. Another left Uni for other reasons and thus had to leave SUJU permanently. The others tried to stay strong. But when the rest of the original members of Super Junior graduated, the Uni decided that the organization would be better served to be called by another name to attract both male and female members. So the Harmony club was the phoenix that came out of the ashes of the SUJU legend.
"Ssam...are you okay?" Tao had reached forward and touched Sungmin's cheek. He didn't realize it until the former wiped his tears that he was actually doing so. He felt the heat rise from his neck to his cheeks.
"I...I guess I do miss them." he tried to laugh it off but the tears wouldn't stop. At times like this only one person could make him stop crying. It was a problem when he was not around. Donghae would end up crying along with him and Eunhyuk would be upset about that. Siwon would try to fetch something sweet or some water to appease him. The other hyungs would try different things. But it later became a general rule not to make Sungmin cry. Because it would take at least half an hour to make him stop.
But Kyu did one thing that always made him laugh. He did a serious giyomi that became an anti-aegyo that would make him stop crying because was waiting for the time when Kyu would crack up. But he never did. He would repeat it until Sungmin started to smile and the tears ended. Kyu would say after that, "Crying doesn't suit you. I always want you to smile for me. Okay?" And his heart would melt in that love.
TAO didn't know what to do. He had never seen a grown man cry uncontrollably and over a memory of old friendships. He moved on instinct and held Sungmin to him so that the curious student would not see him crying. "Just let it out. Sometimes, that's all we need to feel better. Don't keep it in..." He kissed the top of Sungmin's head. Pretty much the same way that his brothers would comfort Luhan.
Sungmin stiffened for a second then slowly eased into his crying. It was a shaking silent crying that made Tao feel like he needed to hold Sungmin closer.
"GROUP HUG!" Kris called out and joined the two. Other students who knew Sungmin and the two joined the group hug. Sungmin felt some part of SUJU came back to give him a piece of his old life.
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