同學們面面相覷。204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnHE4coCZ02
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「那個……您是不是走錯教室了呢？」身為班長的我起身詢問。204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1qabcT0MxM
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsMfm8kovYs

「啊，你們的數學老師請假，所以今天是我代課喔。」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHlZCE7Wfct
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz3NsMCSQSx

「咦咦？沒用的老東西請假？」賴妍驚訝的問。204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJiEOA1LLQe
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWYXgtPsNCA

「請不要叫數學老師沒用的老東西。」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡemfKtcqv1O
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtCCl0hUeVX

「那改成老不羞好了。」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1tziYIza8D
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44HDHP6evm

「更糟糕了啊！」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgqsIDAGv0I
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnmpUSb1kLv

「咳，總之，」代課老師乾咳一聲打斷我們的對話，「請各位打開課本第……為什麼桌上有酒瓶？」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiMq76S517y
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1IP3ZXyKO2

「因為上一節是化學課。」正在製作燃燒瓶的簡澄說。204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6M715FvIFG
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Rr13NsKRq

「那你桌上正在燒的酒精燈是怎樣？」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhrTGhOUax
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyWK4VvGDJx

「老師，它正在暖身。」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡquXOUZEIgl
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHlKdubGrr

「它是要暖什麼身啊！給我拿回去實驗室放好！」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYOsdaT0Lx3
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhc4uLlhUhP

「我要去！」賴妍自告奮勇的起身。204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU3nVqCkXQq
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaiQQ0HcfKj

「給我坐下，妳不值得信賴。」我不耐煩的說。「三岐，你去放。」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg3kbQ8naEU
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY9rqhugZ4z

「那我改姓三岐。」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRIzqRTLtBv
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfswCb4zQtS

「才不是這個意思！」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKR3kgX1tR8
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jxlD7WU5i

「而且為什麼是三岐！」剛剛還趴著的三岐抗議。204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvuwA8WsyZ
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvdZwxh06e

「少囉唆！快點給我去放！」我用課本敲三岐的頭，「別跟著搗亂上課秩序好嗎？」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLohQICEL1
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡicfKNPY4TR

「汝等下級生物，竟敢命令本元帥，看我痛啊啊啊啊啊啊！」三岐的話還沒說完就被我再次用力敲頭，不過這次用的是不鏽鋼水壺。204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeRVglzvnVm
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8vOyEJMKIN

「元帥好弱。」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFgM26xccUF
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3zpWXGYEhK

「你根本是想殺了我吧！」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNpEaRRW6Lu
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvt0drlVnIt

「同學們！請安靜！」代課老師看起來有些惱火。「全部給我翻開課本！」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8B6cfaXJZJ
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZR60TB9Bhb

「老師。」賴妍突然嚴肅的開口，「你覺得數學的意義到底是什麼？數學又是為何而存在？」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTBjSoG1ATy
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5yJTCZQf6A

「數學是為何而存在…………？」老師陷入沉思。204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3tKQ9NMxHw
  除了賴妍之外的同學們臉色一沉。204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF284GHEEj6
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgC9HoHNv0f

「老師！別中計啊！」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0O0nvMmAwb
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRF5all1NFa

「這傢伙的腦子才不會思考這種深奧的東西呢！」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFTz6fZJBG4
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmnySimfHRS

「她只是單純不想上數學課而已啊！」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcLGqWA1Xqk
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPIJeQp4oBq

    不過老師抬起手制止了那些警告他的同學。204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡobZvGwbgWk
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKzTqWEslGc

「我認為……」在思考片刻之後，老師開口，

「數學是使生活變得更方便的工具。」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ad2TGXPJh
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrAHC8z1axF

「真的是這樣嗎？」賴妍問。204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC431QTa9iY
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9E0upgyoue

「古埃及人與巴比倫人靠著幾何學的幫助，建造出了許多壯觀的建築物！牛頓發明的微積分也間接造福了許多人類！」老師越說越激動，「所以我才會選擇就讀數學系，成為數學老師！數學對我來說就是世界的真理！就是絕對的信仰！」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8HH0Wb9FYd
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP8lscCLFbz

「那……如果我說，」賴妍緩緩開口，「我能反駁你的論點呢？」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa0zl2VFCBF
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡetgqwL53UJ

「什──」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQIL9RB5921
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ds30XwPMn

「如果我能證明…………數學並不是世界的真理呢？」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEFtkfAAF4q
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzzTKK3GWBr

「臭小鬼！妳明白妳在說什麼嗎！妳說的話是對神的褻瀆！」代課老師憤怒地吼道。204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdZKIK3wraD
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyV2yOXjZpD

「那個，班長，」坐在我後面的男同學輕聲對我說，「這部不是日常番嗎？為什麼會出現戰鬥番的台詞？」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ3z53ykpmR
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2avUt7GuOn

「我也很好奇啊！而且現在不是數學課嗎！」

  

  最重要的是，代課老師已經在不知不覺間步入了賴妍「不想上課」的節奏之中，這才是她被稱為瘋狗的最大原因。204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAucCeP9Bw6
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    真正恐怖的地方還在後頭。204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfRzpG4pulO
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWUsAFLtX2G

「老師……你知道數學的英文，Math的意義，其實是Mental Abuse To Humans，也就是人類精神虐待的意思喔？」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2bHpIKWBI3
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCaVOUJhcSY

「那只是討厭數學的人提出的可悲巧合而已！」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmT1XIzB8fK
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6QyCocjAk

    賴妍歪頭。204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuVutZCDkgo
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhxwDpmfGNZ

「如果數學是真理，為什麼有人會討厭祂呢？」她問道。204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG2LeoOkRO9
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQztSc52jIv

「因為世界上總是有許多自以為是的人！他們只因為生活不如預期，就怪罪到神聖的信仰上面！」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMAMvAPfXWr
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ90z9lZ0c1S

「生活不如預期？你是指生活中的事發生無法用真理解釋的情況嗎？還是生活並沒有想像中的便利？」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc9L63iEBHl
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVhBFPRoaD9

「世上所有的事情一定都有辦法用真理來說明！」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡal7WQyU7Rc
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaZDnoBBItr

「真的嗎？」賴妍正色道，「那我舉個簡單的例子吧。您有看過商店中『買二送一』的活動嗎？」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6HZ9Cui89
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD741JToLIZ

「當然有。」代課老師不耐煩地回答。204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyVQm0fuUiq
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbalVZJB3hI

「那麼一加一等於幾？這只是單純的數學問題，不是腦筋急轉彎喔。」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1loX2J7hJR
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzKceBxt3bx

「一加一等於二。」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHykfOGMW6X
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHi7ySwRjZ

「啊咧？奇怪了？」賴妍故意用困惑的語氣說到，「我只付了兩個物品的價錢，為什麼我得到了三倍的利潤？好奇怪吶～」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQqzUF3M0Xh
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8dA3o3BdT

「……咦？」老師愣住了。204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZLbSiKIIs
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7F5sBj0DSf

「這樣子算式就變成了『一加一等於三』而不是真理所說的二了呢。」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPEMH2FtpCE
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHxSETS8yDm

「什…怎麼會……」代課老師開始感到恐慌。204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrof6hSDOTq
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMbe374eLYx

「老師別中計啊！那只是一種行銷手法而已啊！」我大喊。204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi0zDPcWGYD
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ11r1iI7Wo3

「我…但是、但是一加一應該……還是等於二啊…………？」代課老師緩緩抬頭，用困惑而渙散的眼神看著我，就像一位瀕臨崩潰的精神病患者。204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBRP1KEP7j9
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    完蛋了。204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFVc405284W
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPPF8Cd3c9

「我再舉一個例子吧。」賴妍再次開口。「剛剛說了一加一等於三，但是這也不是正確答案。204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR07RquCqgJ
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW0Cj3uNkwX

「您應該也知道結婚是什麼吧？就是長期的一對一賣春契約。」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTrzRuHuaCY
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjIfIOWj46q

「才不是這樣！」我吐槽。204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFpoxiNVm8F
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUNFlM80Zf9

「好奇怪吶。住在我家隔壁的王叔叔明明結婚了，為什麼最近兩個月，在王阿姨不在的週五晚上，還會出現另外六個女人陪他過夜呢？」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj2yZQUKe9C
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJBGZsDzA4

「這種事情你應該早點去跟王阿姨說才對吧！」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWT3cAuLQSr
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOmBcWyLmA6

「咦咦，」賴妍不理我，「一加一不是等於三嗎？為什麼同時又等於八呢？」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfEKNvOEYFr
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTnm2xRHS5d

「為什麼啊啊啊啊啊！」代課老師抱住頭，驚慌失措地尖叫。「為什麼真理要遺棄我啊啊啊啊！」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVgOiZaOy5b
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZsDR9Zh7W

「沒錯，就是因為人們被你所說的真理拋棄，才會轉而討厭，甚至憎恨數學。對他們來說，數學不只不是世界上的真理，更不是讓生活變得更方便的工具！」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3U6EyQ3t2K
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLqqvqJK4Lv

    賴妍深呼吸，補上了最後一擊：「對他們來說，數學只是讓生活更不方便的枷鎖！只是阻礙人類發展的、根本沒有存在必要的、無用垃圾而已啊！」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh3YhbbxkKN
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡccsenvMmzh

「啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊……」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo2c8wqhUL5
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfFSqnfY51X

    老師緩緩蹲下，雙手抱住膝蓋，露出自己長久以來深信的事情在一夕之間被摧毀的表情。204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4hVMqFoTB3
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVmUuDb09W5

  這時，去化學教室放酒精燈的三岐回來了。204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwR9lCDGxx0

    老師彷彿看見了希望一般，朝著三岐跑過去，抓住了他的肩膀，用力地前後搖動。204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZCcVuFMDqJ
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4vVdyh7ZIk

「同學！一加一等於多少！」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfwKsE5vAkr
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMpeUYtYyjX

「咦？」在狀況外的三岐很錯愕。204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKKXcaZ20Zt
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJgC7Z5khBN

    賴妍露出了勝利的微笑，坐回位子上，舒服的翹起二郎腿，抓著桌上的白蘭地仰頭灌了一大口。204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCsF4HnFoZ
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8SPekPgKb

「到底等於多少啊啊啊啊啊！！！」代課老師瘋狂地大喊。204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqfyQQ3eQzg
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ioDUvhcva

「等、等於五十……」一天到晚吃麥O勞的三岐結結巴巴的回答。204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFjWNeAVttU
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMxAaiRqgo0

「三等於八、八等於五十……等式應該不成立才…三又等於五十……啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！」代課老師崩潰了，尖叫著衝出了教室。204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdRuS3I2SAX
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIHgBuFrmDo

    全班盯著三岐。204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4f1oOQNTbt
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJFjm6OPgh8

「欸？我做錯什麼了嗎？」三岐很錯愕。204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUohRYkVnUN
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfpa5Kd0ldY

    賴妍抬頭看了一眼教室牆上的時鐘。204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCZGnmmnEgW
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrlEIZURyN6

「呦喜！多賺到了半小時下課時間。」她握拳。204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLIqTfBUMHy
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn7LgqQ1pQC

「呦喜妳個大頭！他被你弄壞了啦！」我慌張地大喊，「全班快點出去幫忙找代課老師啊！」204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX1Znvgxu4f
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwbo4yE4GzL
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當日結果：204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv747RXK3fq
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUa26qL1Bas

    在數學科辦公室全體數學老師的幫忙下，於放學前在校舍頂樓的花圃角落發現了喃喃自語著「三等於八等於五十三等於八等於五十三等於八等於五十我被神拋棄了嗚嗚嗚我要成為一棵用費波納契數列整齊排列的植物三等於八等於五十三等於八等於五十…」的代課老師，並送到附近醫院的精神科治療。204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJMd12rRyL
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr9gky4qXJc

    賴妍被記了一支大過（目前總共七支）。204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡapKC6nJQye
204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbkUMJILmdw

    柳困依然單身。204Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg5hZwaQSpU