同學們面面相覷。241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAOJRnSpTpO
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「那個……您是不是走錯教室了呢？」身為班長的我起身詢問。241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG5bhRt6Cwj
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「啊，你們的數學老師請假，所以今天是我代課喔。」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpD5uHKAVUR
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「咦咦？沒用的老東西請假？」賴妍驚訝的問。241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaDhp3Qgmrn
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「請不要叫數學老師沒用的老東西。」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6PWckJL5K6
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「那改成老不羞好了。」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVMv1qENJPt
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「更糟糕了啊！」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUByJEeDCS6
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「咳，總之，」代課老師乾咳一聲打斷我們的對話，「請各位打開課本第……為什麼桌上有酒瓶？」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKg0AbeL7co
241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmJ2tjBGpa

「因為上一節是化學課。」正在製作燃燒瓶的簡澄說。241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQFEJrvdUmr
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「那你桌上正在燒的酒精燈是怎樣？」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR5QURopy7t
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「老師，它正在暖身。」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4VkjD2qaP
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「它是要暖什麼身啊！給我拿回去實驗室放好！」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIyen0qWqDu
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「我要去！」賴妍自告奮勇的起身。241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFP0Lu1nXEe
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「給我坐下，妳不值得信賴。」我不耐煩的說。「三岐，你去放。」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB1eiPvIVkD
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「那我改姓三岐。」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDCFV77tUA9
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「才不是這個意思！」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDHyyw9amOq
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「而且為什麼是三岐！」剛剛還趴著的三岐抗議。241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSZKiZolUtm
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「少囉唆！快點給我去放！」我用課本敲三岐的頭，「別跟著搗亂上課秩序好嗎？」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVXZzoeg9jK
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「汝等下級生物，竟敢命令本元帥，看我痛啊啊啊啊啊啊！」三岐的話還沒說完就被我再次用力敲頭，不過這次用的是不鏽鋼水壺。241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb1gJOjoWgh
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「元帥好弱。」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkVU68gSZB4
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「你根本是想殺了我吧！」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO6Pug95pCJ
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「同學們！請安靜！」代課老師看起來有些惱火。「全部給我翻開課本！」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdpVhRuSPl4
241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa4Urq9YAge

「老師。」賴妍突然嚴肅的開口，「你覺得數學的意義到底是什麼？數學又是為何而存在？」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbWmN4GExJt
241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLrKyelTaxo

「數學是為何而存在…………？」老師陷入沉思。241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOPuKgziQRz
  除了賴妍之外的同學們臉色一沉。241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIKK49xVEy6
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「老師！別中計啊！」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2SotNvlmzx
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「這傢伙的腦子才不會思考這種深奧的東西呢！」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7icixrUPvj
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「她只是單純不想上數學課而已啊！」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGYnHfHoK97
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    不過老師抬起手制止了那些警告他的同學。241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3VIgdDhke
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「我認為……」在思考片刻之後，老師開口，

「數學是使生活變得更方便的工具。」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsrxqFYXkg2
241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCqgcQmh7EU

「真的是這樣嗎？」賴妍問。241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC7K5mwBHyz
241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt1H15MPzGx

「古埃及人與巴比倫人靠著幾何學的幫助，建造出了許多壯觀的建築物！牛頓發明的微積分也間接造福了許多人類！」老師越說越激動，「所以我才會選擇就讀數學系，成為數學老師！數學對我來說就是世界的真理！就是絕對的信仰！」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoFxcI1Hgok
241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqlOQ3t54fO

「那……如果我說，」賴妍緩緩開口，「我能反駁你的論點呢？」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFRo8lqmcsv
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「什──」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5roN3ucFaW
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「如果我能證明…………數學並不是世界的真理呢？」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiTA2xHMnkZ
241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrMIgyQ32ak

「臭小鬼！妳明白妳在說什麼嗎！妳說的話是對神的褻瀆！」代課老師憤怒地吼道。241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5RyTjD9LRl
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「那個，班長，」坐在我後面的男同學輕聲對我說，「這部不是日常番嗎？為什麼會出現戰鬥番的台詞？」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYmS1gg6lOs
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「我也很好奇啊！而且現在不是數學課嗎！」

  

  最重要的是，代課老師已經在不知不覺間步入了賴妍「不想上課」的節奏之中，這才是她被稱為瘋狗的最大原因。241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOSbTTEFv5s
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    真正恐怖的地方還在後頭。241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2VskE5oJI9
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「老師……你知道數學的英文，Math的意義，其實是Mental Abuse To Humans，也就是人類精神虐待的意思喔？」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhrJWn9Ws4F
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「那只是討厭數學的人提出的可悲巧合而已！」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgpeovKGFo1
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    賴妍歪頭。241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBS0cyt6E7h
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「如果數學是真理，為什麼有人會討厭祂呢？」她問道。241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM0w8A3IQSN
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「因為世界上總是有許多自以為是的人！他們只因為生活不如預期，就怪罪到神聖的信仰上面！」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2VyrvVjN9n
241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcnbEteMtjL

「生活不如預期？你是指生活中的事發生無法用真理解釋的情況嗎？還是生活並沒有想像中的便利？」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfslHrWKd8k
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「世上所有的事情一定都有辦法用真理來說明！」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt3rn7nHjfx
241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGXrTKEVmdG

「真的嗎？」賴妍正色道，「那我舉個簡單的例子吧。您有看過商店中『買二送一』的活動嗎？」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5h3jSS3gDr
241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhBayYM9lKB

「當然有。」代課老師不耐煩地回答。241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYDp17plxkp
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「那麼一加一等於幾？這只是單純的數學問題，不是腦筋急轉彎喔。」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqTXbMNFeLP
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「一加一等於二。」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNI6dwqQRm1
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「啊咧？奇怪了？」賴妍故意用困惑的語氣說到，「我只付了兩個物品的價錢，為什麼我得到了三倍的利潤？好奇怪吶～」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3C68hnaPsK
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「……咦？」老師愣住了。241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjyB09FOXo9
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「這樣子算式就變成了『一加一等於三』而不是真理所說的二了呢。」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdx5vOcEANw
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「什…怎麼會……」代課老師開始感到恐慌。241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6wxBE6gVU
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「老師別中計啊！那只是一種行銷手法而已啊！」我大喊。241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQDwq2wlCm
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「我…但是、但是一加一應該……還是等於二啊…………？」代課老師緩緩抬頭，用困惑而渙散的眼神看著我，就像一位瀕臨崩潰的精神病患者。241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZp373bhcSI
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    完蛋了。241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWBJKIM8zlU
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「我再舉一個例子吧。」賴妍再次開口。「剛剛說了一加一等於三，但是這也不是正確答案。241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFeHyuKHUJ
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「您應該也知道結婚是什麼吧？就是長期的一對一賣春契約。」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgFtcWCd6Ue
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「才不是這樣！」我吐槽。241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWfdPCdXoHc
241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSH1bob54ky

「好奇怪吶。住在我家隔壁的王叔叔明明結婚了，為什麼最近兩個月，在王阿姨不在的週五晚上，還會出現另外六個女人陪他過夜呢？」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs8yb382BOi
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「這種事情你應該早點去跟王阿姨說才對吧！」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWojHMpvzXz
241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxSD6D4bouu

「咦咦，」賴妍不理我，「一加一不是等於三嗎？為什麼同時又等於八呢？」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwXQNY7W7Sc
241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVqyZTPgoY5

「為什麼啊啊啊啊啊！」代課老師抱住頭，驚慌失措地尖叫。「為什麼真理要遺棄我啊啊啊啊！」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ29h9pSUzP4
241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Mejr8EVnO

「沒錯，就是因為人們被你所說的真理拋棄，才會轉而討厭，甚至憎恨數學。對他們來說，數學不只不是世界上的真理，更不是讓生活變得更方便的工具！」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK1nYsdVoZc
241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmgVHBIvDQo

    賴妍深呼吸，補上了最後一擊：「對他們來說，數學只是讓生活更不方便的枷鎖！只是阻礙人類發展的、根本沒有存在必要的、無用垃圾而已啊！」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMC8rNSPgvz
241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTlK8EFuegc

「啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊……」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSHtepI9kvk
241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8DJ2sFU0kw

    老師緩緩蹲下，雙手抱住膝蓋，露出自己長久以來深信的事情在一夕之間被摧毀的表情。241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEzTxKUOMN8
241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY6CMfqsHPp

  這時，去化學教室放酒精燈的三岐回來了。241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJ7yPOx8Bo

    老師彷彿看見了希望一般，朝著三岐跑過去，抓住了他的肩膀，用力地前後搖動。241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdxr5lzx0vb
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「同學！一加一等於多少！」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXbDxA9o4zV
241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsGq7Wu5gXN

「咦？」在狀況外的三岐很錯愕。241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh6pEUxRcPA
241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNjNXy0aTIK

    賴妍露出了勝利的微笑，坐回位子上，舒服的翹起二郎腿，抓著桌上的白蘭地仰頭灌了一大口。241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGeL6Qd9C9
241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV1gD8kOvZh

「到底等於多少啊啊啊啊啊！！！」代課老師瘋狂地大喊。241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡukNFbvz1Bd
241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡErrjEkvjmh

「等、等於五十……」一天到晚吃麥O勞的三岐結結巴巴的回答。241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTGqsNNkOEY
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「三等於八、八等於五十……等式應該不成立才…三又等於五十……啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！」代課老師崩潰了，尖叫著衝出了教室。241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQq9O5gkUc
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    全班盯著三岐。241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMlh32pDTW
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「欸？我做錯什麼了嗎？」三岐很錯愕。241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJIOCPpyMx
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    賴妍抬頭看了一眼教室牆上的時鐘。241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHmzW4UYHD
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「呦喜！多賺到了半小時下課時間。」她握拳。241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsnbX1GWExR
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「呦喜妳個大頭！他被你弄壞了啦！」我慌張地大喊，「全班快點出去幫忙找代課老師啊！」241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPi7ua7IxIL
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當日結果：241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBhsZRd3Dqu
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    在數學科辦公室全體數學老師的幫忙下，於放學前在校舍頂樓的花圃角落發現了喃喃自語著「三等於八等於五十三等於八等於五十三等於八等於五十我被神拋棄了嗚嗚嗚我要成為一棵用費波納契數列整齊排列的植物三等於八等於五十三等於八等於五十…」的代課老師，並送到附近醫院的精神科治療。241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGbI0WZ6Uvi
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    賴妍被記了一支大過（目前總共七支）。241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡstWOuHOzFN
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    柳困依然單身。241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84zxOuEGv3