《請跟我交往！拜託啦！》 - 第三章國文課！

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「好囉，小鬼頭們，」在鐘響後，國文老師抱著一疊文件走進教室，「你們知道我們今天要做什麼嗎？」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwdBLSRCV3M

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「今天好像是……要發上次國文課寫的作文嗎？」我問。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡebfd6NDXZ3
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「答對囉！」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtyC4XcAaHg
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「又是一堂無聊的課。」賴妍發牢騷。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwDkguxX115
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「我早就猜到妳會這樣說，所以今天打算來點不一樣的上課方式！」國文老師興高采烈的說，「等等我會叫號，點到的同學請上台，然後朗讀你的作品！」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvS9u2WBVM9
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「咦咦咦！」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFw2erKuoZV
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「這樣會被嗆吧！尤其在題目還是『自己創造一個短篇故事』的情況下！」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0WAALb07Di
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同學們的反抗聲不斷。不過老師不理他們。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIKFKDxLr4q
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「要開始囉！一號！」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrMc2ehfLn4
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是三岐。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTCYxb2rj1j
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他接過老師手中的作文紙，大步走上講台！226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxQcpeOBxWy
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三岐深吸一口氣，開口：226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP3dlV6mkVY
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「我在雨中拔腿狂奔。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmj8YchiuBN
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後面追著兩個人。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx1fxuuWFII
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我很清楚他們為什麼找上我，所以我只管向前衝。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡisGvkjTVr6
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四周的行人被我撞到後，發出不滿的抱怨聲。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb5EedwS0X3
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『哈塔！你竟敢帶著欠我們的錢逃跑！你以為組織就會這麼放過你嗎！』追著我的其中一人在後頭放聲大後。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj2PFIDn3Ik
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我加快腳步。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmThQ7tVdEy
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這時，我聽到了幾聲槍響，後腿同時感覺到一陣劇痛。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfzVQMAjPqG
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我發出慘叫，猛地跌倒在地上。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdR854iDBRr
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附近的群眾尖叫，開始四處逃竄。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6O7Xze2qPv
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我轉過頭，看見那兩人的身影離我越來越近。

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看來如果不快點找個地方躲起來的話，我就要成為槍下的亡魂了。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyLj9GJl8Xh
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這時，我看見一旁的廢棄大樓。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz17PvJDMx0
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我也沒空確認他們有沒有看見，拖著受傷的腿，逕自藏身在大樓入口處的一個陰暗角落。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUH4F1y3uCw
我開始默默祈禱。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡACJfTR5NVd
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『跟著血跡走！』其中一人大喊。『奇怪…那棟大樓？』226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFEykOeR3sy
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在我躲藏的角落，我聽到兩人的腳步聲逼近。

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我默默地閉上雙眼。」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1X5ln2cfGY
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三岐走下台。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVpwcZFYKPH
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「什麼？結束了喔？」坐在我身後的男同學很錯愕，「感覺你的故事才剛開始欸。」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr0HABaPVFQ
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「你就是因為這樣，所以就算連續出場三章作者還是連名字都沒給你。」三岐搖頭嘆氣。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv9aGRA7Sz9
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「原來這三章出現的男同學是同一個人啊！！」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡppX1FkzMWz
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「三岐同學，我在改的時候也很好奇，可以解釋你在這裡結束的理由嗎？」國文老師問道。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkOaUPtwQv
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「我想要留給你們這群凡夫俗子一個思考的空間。我這樣寫的用意，是藉由思考主角到最後是否被發現來呈現這篇短篇的韻味……看來這種開放性結局不是你們這群凡夫俗子可以體會的。」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVKoy6v8dXj
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「『你們這群凡夫俗子』是不是在同一句話用了兩次？」我問。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyMvEngHwJI
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「汝是在質疑身為宇宙主宰的我嗎！」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyDvvv0H4dr
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「所以一加一到底等於多少？」賴妍問他。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1K5LWYh3se
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「五十。」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy2RiIcHKU1
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「宇宙主宰的數學弱爆了啊！」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wDrLwQwLF
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「三岐同學，」國文老師叫他，「你能不能告訴我們故事的大意？這樣子像男同學同學一樣的其他同學也能聽懂你的故事。」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqMwFCSzauf
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「原來『男同學』是他的名字嗎！！」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj3W5nDBA5B
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「大意嗎…我想一下喔……」三岐思考了一下，

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「在那個世界，主角加入了組織『克雷德』，因為看不慣他們邪惡的處事風格而決定與愛人逃──」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeYakGmBO2Z
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「咦？這一段沒有在文章中出現啊。」國文老師疑惑道。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIw8UuGWtaW
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「因為這是背景設定。」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoh9zSAcThH
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「背、背景…」國文老師揉揉額頭，「三岐同學，再縮短一點，從正文開始就好。」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLKoM5SChFE
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「正文喔……」三岐清清嗓子，再次開口，「在世界上，偷了組織裡頭重要的『信件』和大筆金錢的主角哈塔在街頭被組織派出的殺手『湯姆』和『傑利』追殺，在追逐時，哈塔的腳竟然被湯姆射中了！在情急之下，哈塔逃進了廢棄的大樓中，等待正義組織的救援───」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVqkgD0aIEe
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「再縮短一點。」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyaaXoKmb0I
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「世界上，欠了邪惡組織債的主角哈塔，因為被組織派出的殺手雙人組追殺，在負傷之下不得已只好躲進附近的廢棄大樓之中等待救援。」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ14jiU8GO34
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「再短一點。」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9dqyRuEdyp
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「世界上，欠錢的哈塔因為受傷所以逃進了廢棄大樓。」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIEDNiK26cl
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「突然之間變得很好懂啊！連原意都要被扭曲了啊！」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaPlL7WOwes
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「再短一點。」賴妍說。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTw1BqxgOaL
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「世債哈樓。」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpObpg8p0HH
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「太精簡了！倒不如說是直接開嘴了啊！！」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF8SlIpR61t
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「下一位……三十七號！」國文老師再次點名，是賴妍。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ21VHooiPd
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「唔喔…」賴妍搖搖晃晃的上台，手中還抓著一瓶約翰走路。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn5JvGeORXK
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「請把酒放回桌上。」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg5xWcne0hR
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「唔唔唔……」賴妍回位子放好瓶子，接過老師手中的作文，上台。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ57Gixvj4uH
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「我今天上學時，在公園看到一隻貓。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPcoUg7e2VT
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沒想到，牠竟然攔住我，然後對我說：『你好，我是說了算你們的話說回來了我們的後宮城縣市長得像是在哈囉不是說了吧台灣人民幣匯率的話說回來了吧台灣人民幣匯率的話說回來了吧台灣人民幣匯率的話說回來了吧台灣人民幣匯率的話說回來了─────』」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZRDajjybyn
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「等等！」國文老師打斷她，「為什麼貓說的話跟手機的自動選字一樣？」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5grk86IUEp
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「可能是作者懶得想劇情吧。」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6tBPmDHAIZ
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「妳是不是偷喝酒？」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDW1zqgPtTp
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「她哪一天沒有偷喝酒！」我說。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7tQysRYTnM
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「那妳那天喝醉了嗎？」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpvwfseiQop
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「我沒醉啊，是那隻貓醉了。」賴妍一臉無辜的說。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgvLxHFjtqB
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「可是妳的題目是『喝醉的貓』……不對啊，就算是喝醉的貓也不會說話吧！」老師反駁。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡStNV9eSF6R
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「可是那隻是貓公爵欸。」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxjFEZPFHyZ
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「貓公爵是什麼？」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKY8jLMEReM
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「老師，您沒看過貓公爵嗎？」賴妍驚訝的問。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhTkkTVdYcf
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「沒看過啊，有什麼特徵嗎？」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNXUV1CX6hp
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「叫聲是『喵，喵，O哥』。」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLjiGO08oNM
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「誰會看過這隻種族歧視的貓啊！」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6pbo50j9x0
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「而且牠還寫過『舉杯邀明月，對影成八人』這句經典名句。」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8kvtmHXqXF
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「不是三人嗎？」國文老師很困惑。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTtZbMZkvSO
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「三等於八。」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXAK1faRQgN
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「人家都已經被你弄到住院了還好意思說啊！」我吐槽。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYdoQR8AWxS
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「我從以前就覺得這一句話很牽強…不過還算過得去，」國文老師說，「但是對影成八人又是怎麼回事？本來只有月亮、人物、影子而已。」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwKLcne5OPQ
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「對影成八人就是月亮、人物、影子、影子、影子、影子、影子跟影子。」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vGjjyzHIp
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「你把其他人的影子也一起照出來了啊！是怎樣！靈異現場嗎！」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5i3ZhroemS
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「好吧，算了，當我沒問。」一陣子後，老師嘆口氣，「下一個，今天幾月幾號？」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXVGBqQC0t
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「九月九號！」全班同學異口同聲回答，之後同時轉頭看我。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOXZBEe7UA7
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你們這群小王八蛋。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyRGNVs37zR
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「九號是……」老師看了一下點名簿，「班長柳困同學。」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ5EgEG7hYc
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「可是老師，我的故事真的有點…」我有點為難。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHHmephHrTR
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「不用怕，賴妍寫那種東西都敢上來了。」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz6FKBncNKJ
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「好吧……」我慢慢步上講台。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGawB7hBvkT
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「人在愉悅的時候會釋放出『虛空分子』，在這些虛空分子達到一定的程度時，會強制開啟一道傳送門，將隨機的人傳送到一個遊戲之中。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXLVtEAxy3k
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所以，我，幻天，現在站在一片血紅色的天空下。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwP2zaFCMsC
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此刻，我只想搞清楚，出現在我眼前的是幻覺，還是現實。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJXW8fibgly
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這時，有一個稚嫩的聲音叫住我。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAt1dtMoyDp
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『喂！你是誰！叫什麼名字！』我回頭，看見一個紫色頭髮，穿著和服，手中拿著金色大弓的蘿莉……我是說小女孩─────」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxqdHY7uQAO
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「我看錯你了，班長。」簡澄說。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUsNfwCfdtW
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「閉、閉嘴！讓我說完！226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXv2UdBtmow
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「『你是誰？』她的箭指著我的頭，所以我只能戰戰兢兢地回答。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjSjkWUY17
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『我叫幻天……妳、妳叫什麼名字？』226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxwM2DbAdkb
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『……我叫瑞希。』她說。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMTT1bO7GC8
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話說回來，她看起來真可愛───」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0RxpNyolAk
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「好的，停止，我們謝謝班長！」國文老師說。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡellB9T8ktd
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「我還沒說完欸！」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwrjUZm6wxi
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「沒關係，你這剛見面就發春的傢伙。我現在連你的標題是什麼都不感興趣。」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Br5UokJ4v
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「為什麼要吐我槽！」我現在覺得超級受傷。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW7ljmJRZ7P
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「因為時間不太夠，」老師不理我。她看了看錶，「所以我們再選最後一位！十六號！」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡESBoL3TFGP
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「是我！」簡澄舉手。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaXaj1iGPwq
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「上台吧，快下課了。」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5dyyMziNLX
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簡澄走上台，攤開作文。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrwTdp861eI
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「在一個下大雪的夜晚，一個快要凍死的小女孩，在街上販賣燃燒瓶。」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvgMxI0nC4r
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「為什麼是燃燒瓶！」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyjTJI8BTjL
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「『要不要買燃燒瓶啊……要不要買燃燒瓶啊……不買的話燒了你哦…』她賣力的嘶喊，但是經過的行人始終不看她一眼。」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYjrxhhquj5
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「根本沒人敢看吧！一言不合就會被燒死啊！」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9f3Ryw7VoA
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「漸漸的，時間越來越晚，人潮也越來越少。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNIt4j2jVnN
大街上很快就只剩下小女孩一人。」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpdRxQgxiZ7
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「全都被嚇跑了啊！」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC78H2tapQe
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「小女孩起身，在她身後的餐廳中，許多人正在用餐。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJx4m3e0ltO
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在她正前方的窗戶裡，一對年輕夫婦正在享用烤雞。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHHx9d0chGV
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又冷又餓的小女孩於是丟了一個燃燒瓶到餐廳裡面。」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9XexVkJnAv
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「為什麼啊啊啊啊啊啊！！」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX1FZJi4UIB
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「餐廳裡面的人們，包括那對夫妻，尖叫著離開了現場。」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQqEwWikXRZ
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「廢話！」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBfKSGkVDJX
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「小女孩因此撿到了那對夫妻還沒來得及享用的整隻烤雞。」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYrmVItQSCv
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「原來這就是目的嗎！」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqrLidrNdGV
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「小女孩吃的正開心時，『就是那個傢伙嗎！想要暗殺老大的人！』一群身穿黑衣的人出現在燃燒的餐廳外圍。」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ23iEMFFpxz
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「惹到不該惹的人了啊！」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3lpIzCCIA2
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「正所謂『五十人成虎』，」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡacXrjZFrOg
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「不是三人成虎嗎！」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3KvC7IVBsS
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「三等於八等於五十。」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2fExWRCV8d
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「不要再消費人家了啊啊啊啊啊！」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTQRS3mzcD
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「這句話的意思是『五十個台北暴徒就跟老虎一樣可怕』。」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡroyuVOfIqC
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「明顯是五十個台北暴徒比較可怕吧！！」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWT0YPUZDTp
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「那群黑衣人同時飛身向前！在後頭的黑衣人也掏出槍！226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwSObrhLHRs
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這時，其中一個黑衣人拿起電話聽了一會，然後大喊：『不好了！哈塔拿著信跟錢跑走了！』」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm3W7TEHFom
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「原來是同一個組織啊！」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT2HO2gZlmQ
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「『老大很不高興啊！』拿著手機的人說，『他說有句話要我轉告給你們。』」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIbGLSAOHHC
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「喔？老大想說什麼？」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ7UCQJixsQ
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「『喵，喵，O哥。』」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡab8gaJxjGC
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「老大是貓公爵啊！難怪派出來的殺手叫湯姆跟傑利！」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr4EnZCLMij
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「『六影眾也隨時準備出動了。』」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOH2gF0Pgxl
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「照出來的怪東西還有頭銜！」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ugwAj3QUi
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「這時，小女孩露出了笑容。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCQxNVtPC6d
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『有、有什麼好笑！』黑衣人問道。」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZ3r94j0gN
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「百分之八百是因為『喵，喵，O哥』啊！」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWVuCIYEt2R
226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIzQATbFlYV

「『哈哈哈哈哈！』小女孩喝了一口紅酒，邊笑邊說，『台灣人民幣匯率的話說回來了吧台灣人民幣匯率的話說回來了吧台灣人民幣匯率的話說回來了吧台灣人民幣匯率的話說回來了……』」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoGr0eUkCLv
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「她也喝醉了嗎！」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG1LanqfD4b
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「她朝著黑衣人們扔出了一個個燃燒瓶，所有的黑衣人西裝上都沾滿了火苗。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWjQxXWmKS
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黑衣人們開始尖叫，用各種餐廳裡面看得見的東西試圖滅火，但都止不住越來越大的火勢。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEmPMd5yS5h
這時，小女孩───」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCMusrKXfO
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「她說了些什麼了嗎？」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn7pJ8OV3S9
226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZJPbwG16NK

「沒說什麼，她也被燒死了。」簡澄鞠躬，下臺，鐘聲剛好響起。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxG8pSRGG95
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「等一下！那這個故事的意義咧！」我追問。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNfn5y99MW5
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「不要亂丟燃燒瓶。」

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「你是最沒資格說這句話的人啊啊啊啊啊！」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIcK38cKxrA
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「好的，謝謝簡澄同學幫我們做的完美結尾──」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlePWkvVjMN
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「完美結尾！？」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhW5Q8tz0H3
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「如果各位同學喜歡這種上課模式的話，那我們以後也可以這樣子上喔，」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpXNjDPXbu6

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「這樣叫完美結尾！？」

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「那麼同學們，我們下堂國文課見。」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzuge6fYZfx
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「結束的太草率了吧！！」226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡca8UTvJb7P
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當日結果：226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiDLroMakv6
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難得沒有事件發生。226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02hP637yd0
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柳困依然單身。

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第三章 國文課！

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第三章國文課！