《請跟我交往！拜託啦！》 - 第三章國文課！

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「好囉，小鬼頭們，」在鐘響後，國文老師抱著一疊文件走進教室，「你們知道我們今天要做什麼嗎？」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpct0rPCZNB

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「今天好像是……要發上次國文課寫的作文嗎？」我問。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmP2eBxxxxB
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「答對囉！」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDRfhVBEbiW
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「又是一堂無聊的課。」賴妍發牢騷。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxjUxnjUdq8
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「我早就猜到妳會這樣說，所以今天打算來點不一樣的上課方式！」國文老師興高采烈的說，「等等我會叫號，點到的同學請上台，然後朗讀你的作品！」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyX8IIIbFae
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「咦咦咦！」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMuiUcrToil
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「這樣會被嗆吧！尤其在題目還是『自己創造一個短篇故事』的情況下！」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTuifffZVVE
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同學們的反抗聲不斷。不過老師不理他們。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqzPfnskn0P
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「要開始囉！一號！」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlaWvrYmIeT
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是三岐。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPrjUgbniXx
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他接過老師手中的作文紙，大步走上講台！220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFb6qEHy2iM
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三岐深吸一口氣，開口：220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEFRdAxFDeV
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「我在雨中拔腿狂奔。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb7PxxgbpRD
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後面追著兩個人。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRIfW1Ck4Wj
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我很清楚他們為什麼找上我，所以我只管向前衝。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkFaJQsu1NQ
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四周的行人被我撞到後，發出不滿的抱怨聲。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzg1Nse93ap
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『哈塔！你竟敢帶著欠我們的錢逃跑！你以為組織就會這麼放過你嗎！』追著我的其中一人在後頭放聲大後。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2CwfMF0Age
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我加快腳步。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Sk8BDTp8G
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這時，我聽到了幾聲槍響，後腿同時感覺到一陣劇痛。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaIuc0Oriju
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我發出慘叫，猛地跌倒在地上。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzpGw3bRSiR
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附近的群眾尖叫，開始四處逃竄。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFDJqwsvrrn
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我轉過頭，看見那兩人的身影離我越來越近。

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看來如果不快點找個地方躲起來的話，我就要成為槍下的亡魂了。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡghdj6qvL7K
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這時，我看見一旁的廢棄大樓。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBu53V1KkK
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我也沒空確認他們有沒有看見，拖著受傷的腿，逕自藏身在大樓入口處的一個陰暗角落。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUnYCb3rta
我開始默默祈禱。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc1Fwwi04my
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『跟著血跡走！』其中一人大喊。『奇怪…那棟大樓？』220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNM2HHdw2IW
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在我躲藏的角落，我聽到兩人的腳步聲逼近。

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我默默地閉上雙眼。」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvOeZ9Ca4En
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三岐走下台。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPEzedXqQ12
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「什麼？結束了喔？」坐在我身後的男同學很錯愕，「感覺你的故事才剛開始欸。」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcr5296yRzW
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「你就是因為這樣，所以就算連續出場三章作者還是連名字都沒給你。」三岐搖頭嘆氣。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbZvuXoLH1N
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「原來這三章出現的男同學是同一個人啊！！」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl78axDBXxa
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「三岐同學，我在改的時候也很好奇，可以解釋你在這裡結束的理由嗎？」國文老師問道。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEWRCrlcN0M
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「我想要留給你們這群凡夫俗子一個思考的空間。我這樣寫的用意，是藉由思考主角到最後是否被發現來呈現這篇短篇的韻味……看來這種開放性結局不是你們這群凡夫俗子可以體會的。」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhIupIHh9mz
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「『你們這群凡夫俗子』是不是在同一句話用了兩次？」我問。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvgq1CPy8O7
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「汝是在質疑身為宇宙主宰的我嗎！」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3VzmuLVD7
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「所以一加一到底等於多少？」賴妍問他。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoWBhBBuirw
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「五十。」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZPM7o5B7rc
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「宇宙主宰的數學弱爆了啊！」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBYmA6h1fcZ
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「三岐同學，」國文老師叫他，「你能不能告訴我們故事的大意？這樣子像男同學同學一樣的其他同學也能聽懂你的故事。」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqHp88vfkQC
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「原來『男同學』是他的名字嗎！！」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMcrn4CcmFt
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「大意嗎…我想一下喔……」三岐思考了一下，

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「在那個世界，主角加入了組織『克雷德』，因為看不慣他們邪惡的處事風格而決定與愛人逃──」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnrjdSeoJgG
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「咦？這一段沒有在文章中出現啊。」國文老師疑惑道。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Zn9lAEJzJ
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「因為這是背景設定。」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB4pBHGsp5n
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「背、背景…」國文老師揉揉額頭，「三岐同學，再縮短一點，從正文開始就好。」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO8hnP16TVu
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「正文喔……」三岐清清嗓子，再次開口，「在世界上，偷了組織裡頭重要的『信件』和大筆金錢的主角哈塔在街頭被組織派出的殺手『湯姆』和『傑利』追殺，在追逐時，哈塔的腳竟然被湯姆射中了！在情急之下，哈塔逃進了廢棄的大樓中，等待正義組織的救援───」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT5pxwFLE0e
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「再縮短一點。」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlGBt9Nyu8b
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「世界上，欠了邪惡組織債的主角哈塔，因為被組織派出的殺手雙人組追殺，在負傷之下不得已只好躲進附近的廢棄大樓之中等待救援。」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqZU9w8w0lg
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「再短一點。」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvteK19T9m
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「世界上，欠錢的哈塔因為受傷所以逃進了廢棄大樓。」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlr0ZfMs5f8
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「突然之間變得很好懂啊！連原意都要被扭曲了啊！」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2cwZY0WD2P
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「再短一點。」賴妍說。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB2CSxq9plB
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「世債哈樓。」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLcoiUNRHpu
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「太精簡了！倒不如說是直接開嘴了啊！！」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAoHZ7Chh9j
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「下一位……三十七號！」國文老師再次點名，是賴妍。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqKoTTedPRA
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「唔喔…」賴妍搖搖晃晃的上台，手中還抓著一瓶約翰走路。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ12G85U6lwR
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「請把酒放回桌上。」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpg9gbi9FdB
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「唔唔唔……」賴妍回位子放好瓶子，接過老師手中的作文，上台。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDELNNHCdFd
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「我今天上學時，在公園看到一隻貓。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSqFDArAflk
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沒想到，牠竟然攔住我，然後對我說：『你好，我是說了算你們的話說回來了我們的後宮城縣市長得像是在哈囉不是說了吧台灣人民幣匯率的話說回來了吧台灣人民幣匯率的話說回來了吧台灣人民幣匯率的話說回來了吧台灣人民幣匯率的話說回來了─────』」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH0jo8MuTeS
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「等等！」國文老師打斷她，「為什麼貓說的話跟手機的自動選字一樣？」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkaDD7OVjxc
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「可能是作者懶得想劇情吧。」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsS6rWDNE8b
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「妳是不是偷喝酒？」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnatBL4Ktrz
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「她哪一天沒有偷喝酒！」我說。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡieX3OrVB7z
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「那妳那天喝醉了嗎？」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjH9zwFwuKD
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「我沒醉啊，是那隻貓醉了。」賴妍一臉無辜的說。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7OTZ1Wabxm
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「可是妳的題目是『喝醉的貓』……不對啊，就算是喝醉的貓也不會說話吧！」老師反駁。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAPfFKB25fV
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「可是那隻是貓公爵欸。」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlrrDrwpVC8
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「貓公爵是什麼？」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjjLIcxoTJB
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「老師，您沒看過貓公爵嗎？」賴妍驚訝的問。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnmWGTzEGBi
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「沒看過啊，有什麼特徵嗎？」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHgnb5njIvd
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「叫聲是『喵，喵，O哥』。」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ9TGZWOidg
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「誰會看過這隻種族歧視的貓啊！」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPhmq6xLIe
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「而且牠還寫過『舉杯邀明月，對影成八人』這句經典名句。」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGhMFjAGqh
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「不是三人嗎？」國文老師很困惑。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVxVQLv2RYN
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「三等於八。」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLlh64r9Jdq
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「人家都已經被你弄到住院了還好意思說啊！」我吐槽。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ14bn8gVzOd
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「我從以前就覺得這一句話很牽強…不過還算過得去，」國文老師說，「但是對影成八人又是怎麼回事？本來只有月亮、人物、影子而已。」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ksc1CrWFZ
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「對影成八人就是月亮、人物、影子、影子、影子、影子、影子跟影子。」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6qhDtHtZA
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「你把其他人的影子也一起照出來了啊！是怎樣！靈異現場嗎！」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVINkYvTyqA
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「好吧，算了，當我沒問。」一陣子後，老師嘆口氣，「下一個，今天幾月幾號？」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR4eV74YRmP
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「九月九號！」全班同學異口同聲回答，之後同時轉頭看我。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWx5w2M6cT0
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你們這群小王八蛋。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX2uMmN1hai
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「九號是……」老師看了一下點名簿，「班長柳困同學。」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhzbNyA2ww3
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「可是老師，我的故事真的有點…」我有點為難。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMwFTgfB2i6
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「不用怕，賴妍寫那種東西都敢上來了。」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0eJCfkPHJJ
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「好吧……」我慢慢步上講台。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbFbAMeem1
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「人在愉悅的時候會釋放出『虛空分子』，在這些虛空分子達到一定的程度時，會強制開啟一道傳送門，將隨機的人傳送到一個遊戲之中。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaNNpbi7vur
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所以，我，幻天，現在站在一片血紅色的天空下。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQPU4dzAZhf
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此刻，我只想搞清楚，出現在我眼前的是幻覺，還是現實。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Pd8QsZOgc
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這時，有一個稚嫩的聲音叫住我。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLhkr1QI4vZ
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『喂！你是誰！叫什麼名字！』我回頭，看見一個紫色頭髮，穿著和服，手中拿著金色大弓的蘿莉……我是說小女孩─────」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUE8RCTpX7
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「我看錯你了，班長。」簡澄說。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjpegcGvAqs
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「閉、閉嘴！讓我說完！220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9BXV0rsjWi
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「『你是誰？』她的箭指著我的頭，所以我只能戰戰兢兢地回答。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWkInVX2oDG
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『我叫幻天……妳、妳叫什麼名字？』220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjck29YZ78B
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『……我叫瑞希。』她說。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNpUznHNRVG
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話說回來，她看起來真可愛───」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRgivlAdZnV
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「好的，停止，我們謝謝班長！」國文老師說。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeEbA8WtkjP
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「我還沒說完欸！」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFdGPWTsGd7
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「沒關係，你這剛見面就發春的傢伙。我現在連你的標題是什麼都不感興趣。」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFeMTXTDDk
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「為什麼要吐我槽！」我現在覺得超級受傷。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjAVwN8ooRb
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「因為時間不太夠，」老師不理我。她看了看錶，「所以我們再選最後一位！十六號！」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSj14nB4DQq
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「是我！」簡澄舉手。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPlIqKWaSpp
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「上台吧，快下課了。」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTveAC4VQFE
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簡澄走上台，攤開作文。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm0fcF2P1u6
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「在一個下大雪的夜晚，一個快要凍死的小女孩，在街上販賣燃燒瓶。」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpCbymeQR3e
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「為什麼是燃燒瓶！」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3zNdoZpuUa
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「『要不要買燃燒瓶啊……要不要買燃燒瓶啊……不買的話燒了你哦…』她賣力的嘶喊，但是經過的行人始終不看她一眼。」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGayAURUfCk
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「根本沒人敢看吧！一言不合就會被燒死啊！」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNdnddWrmFk
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「漸漸的，時間越來越晚，人潮也越來越少。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzHyusEkdet
大街上很快就只剩下小女孩一人。」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡroeAPOQN5K
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「全都被嚇跑了啊！」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs13SSq6R8p
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「小女孩起身，在她身後的餐廳中，許多人正在用餐。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmXfsF6qBUf
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在她正前方的窗戶裡，一對年輕夫婦正在享用烤雞。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Rn0I1Wnqb
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又冷又餓的小女孩於是丟了一個燃燒瓶到餐廳裡面。」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaDaZtpDlyc
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「為什麼啊啊啊啊啊啊！！」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFaLK90w8E
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「餐廳裡面的人們，包括那對夫妻，尖叫著離開了現場。」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxtJkZMN1ys
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「廢話！」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7aaIPaGRS
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「小女孩因此撿到了那對夫妻還沒來得及享用的整隻烤雞。」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtTD3NBqXfp
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「原來這就是目的嗎！」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFd5hIGrakb
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「小女孩吃的正開心時，『就是那個傢伙嗎！想要暗殺老大的人！』一群身穿黑衣的人出現在燃燒的餐廳外圍。」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlM50n9HAW7
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「惹到不該惹的人了啊！」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0vO0LOSvyT
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「正所謂『五十人成虎』，」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEF7CfVwhLm
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「不是三人成虎嗎！」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDavpTbIbk4
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「三等於八等於五十。」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFtIFAB6tEt
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「不要再消費人家了啊啊啊啊啊！」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRURRr8WX62
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「這句話的意思是『五十個台北暴徒就跟老虎一樣可怕』。」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxcIdsr5bZ
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFiotbz9UCJ

「明顯是五十個台北暴徒比較可怕吧！！」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0e9N6uKTAO
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「那群黑衣人同時飛身向前！在後頭的黑衣人也掏出槍！220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQh0cJKLQuA
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這時，其中一個黑衣人拿起電話聽了一會，然後大喊：『不好了！哈塔拿著信跟錢跑走了！』」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcSTk7Bg3Xj
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「原來是同一個組織啊！」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpRocfI8AZT
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「『老大很不高興啊！』拿著手機的人說，『他說有句話要我轉告給你們。』」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6DGVJ0pqkL
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「喔？老大想說什麼？」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3cJQdWN1IW
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「『喵，喵，O哥。』」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRP2roiJin2
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「老大是貓公爵啊！難怪派出來的殺手叫湯姆跟傑利！」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbdELcJwz7Y
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhJpb0VnNy

「『六影眾也隨時準備出動了。』」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLDqdgJj0pX
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「照出來的怪東西還有頭銜！」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzCTlzU0vVG
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「這時，小女孩露出了笑容。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1snshoGhRd
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『有、有什麼好笑！』黑衣人問道。」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK53FY009WF
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「百分之八百是因為『喵，喵，O哥』啊！」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjHVIHr9865
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo5xGx9Y8VZ

「『哈哈哈哈哈！』小女孩喝了一口紅酒，邊笑邊說，『台灣人民幣匯率的話說回來了吧台灣人民幣匯率的話說回來了吧台灣人民幣匯率的話說回來了吧台灣人民幣匯率的話說回來了……』」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡieCguGZFYL
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「她也喝醉了嗎！」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX5dtRvsej4
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「她朝著黑衣人們扔出了一個個燃燒瓶，所有的黑衣人西裝上都沾滿了火苗。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCyedkUSIS7
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黑衣人們開始尖叫，用各種餐廳裡面看得見的東西試圖滅火，但都止不住越來越大的火勢。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1UxjIWm8QE
這時，小女孩───」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4uPkNzxIm8
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「她說了些什麼了嗎？」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDYDagSyc97
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「沒說什麼，她也被燒死了。」簡澄鞠躬，下臺，鐘聲剛好響起。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtDMEKp5IZO
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「等一下！那這個故事的意義咧！」我追問。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS0EJLQHYPG
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「不要亂丟燃燒瓶。」

220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGIrCjyMfDR

「你是最沒資格說這句話的人啊啊啊啊啊！」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZDvT4wudf
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6stPinMuh5

「好的，謝謝簡澄同學幫我們做的完美結尾──」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl6HtvCEJq0
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「完美結尾！？」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEQTbP8rOv8
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgtC0byO16q

「如果各位同學喜歡這種上課模式的話，那我們以後也可以這樣子上喔，」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkR7IxUHLSD

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「這樣叫完美結尾！？」

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「那麼同學們，我們下堂國文課見。」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkUqvThmCS
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「結束的太草率了吧！！」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzd4YeEKgVn
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當日結果：220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLDvx7ucLvI
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難得沒有事件發生。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡliqz1yTaKM
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柳困依然單身。

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第三章 國文課！

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第三章國文課！