Even though the rest of her and Rowan's shopping went smoothly, Faith still questioned whether taking him with her was worth it or not as she loaded their groceries onto the conveyor belt at the checkout line. "I'll be in the parking lot," Rowan said from behind her all of a sudden.
"Wait, what? Um, actually Rowan, maybe you could help me put some of this stuff--"
"Here," Rowan said before she could finish. "I hope this helps a little. I'll see you in a few minutes," he whispered, stuffing something into her hand as he scooted past her.
"Rowan, what is this? Where are you going?" He either didn't hear her, or was purposely not answering her as he continued to leave the store. I really should've just left him at home. Bringing her hand up and opening it as that familiar knot of dread went through its usual routine inside her stomach, she saw that it was two crumpled up pieces of paper--the green kind. One was a 20, and the other a five.
"Aw, well that was nice of that young man to do that for you," the older lady checking her out commented innocently. "Is he your boyfriend?"
Having told Rowan not to make a scene just half an hour ago, she knew she couldn't just make one herself now, so she returned the innocent smile and nodded. "Yes... But still, I think I'll just use my card for this." She had no earthly idea where he could've legitimately gotten this money--she managed all of the money in their house, but still made sure Rowan got everything he needed, and sometimes wanted if it was within reason. Faith just hoped her demeanor wasn't overtly suspicious-looking as she finished paying and showed the employee at the exit her receipt. She and Rowan were going to have a conversation later, alright.
As she headed back toward her SUV, she could hear loud bass music from a nearby, beaten-up-looking car in one of the parking spaces...and the driver was speaking with Rowan who was standing next to the window. When she strained to hear what they were saying, while pretending not to notice at all, she barely made out the words from the driver, whose face she couldn't make out: "What about her, though? It's either yes or no. Make your choice." The voice didn't sound like Aaron or anyone she knew from Happy Scoops, at least.
"Alright, fine. I'll think of something, then call you," Rowan replied to the man.
Faith walked a safe distance away before calling to Rowan and, feigning the ditziest and most ignorant-sounding smile that she could, looked over at them and called out, "Hey Rowan! One of the wheels on this cart is acting up... Could you come help me finish pushing this thing?"
"Oh uh, yeah! Be right there!" His voice cracked as he answered her, and the driver laughed before they exchanged some last few unintelligible words. Finally, the car backed out of the space and sped off, and Rowan reluctantly trudged in Faith's direction.
They walked in silence to her SUV, and Rowan started to help her load the trunk but Faith stopped him. "I'll take care of this... You just wait in the car for me, okay? You've already done enough for today." Her voice was calm--a calm-before-the-storm type of calm. And to her surprise, he did as she asked him.
Neither of them spoke a word the entire drive home, or as they put up the groceries upon getting back to their house. This time however, once they were done, Rowan was the one to break the silence: "So...did you use the money?"
That was it. Just hearing him talk right now was enough to make her snap. "Let's get one thing straight, Rowan," she hissed, whipping around to face him. "I don't need your dirty gang money!" She took the money he had given her earlier out of her purse, balled it up and threw it at his feet. "I balled that up pretty good, but maybe you could still make origami with it to pass the time once I lock you in that room for life. Is that how you want to live all over again, since I can't take you anywhere anymore?"
She stood and watched him, waiting for him to come up with a reason, any reason at all, for why he had that money other than where she was almost certain he'd gotten it from, but...he didn't deny anything, much less say anything. Since he wasn't even trying to explain himself, Faith finally did what she'd been wanting to do off and on for weeks--give him a hard slap across his face. She expected to feel a wave of guilt and regret afterward, but...she didn't. The anger was still as present as ever., even as her hand shook. "Tell me something, Rowan. How are we supposed to even try to function normally and keep working towards getting our lives back, if we can't even trust each other anymore? Do you think you're a hero, now that you're a criminal? You think you're cool now?!"
"You're one to talk," Rowan muttered as he brought his hand to the side of his face. "How's the money you borrowed from that loan shark at Happy Scoops any different from my 'dirty gang money'?"
"Because I'm not--!" Faith began, but then stopped short. She had no argument for that. "...Okay, so, how much do you know about that?"
"I know who that guy is, Faith, and I know what he does," he said quietly as he picked up the bills she threw and attempted to straighten them out again. "He's Sheena's boyfriend, and he lends money illegally while pretending to just be an ice cream shop owner. And instead of visiting your family like you told me you were doing every week, you've been going to his office to pay back what you borrowed from him. I had my suspicions to begin with because of how nervous you acted every Friday night and the fact you weren't eating as much, but the sticker on your car just confirmed it today. All Galanos's enemies--my uh, friends being some of them--know that sticker. But not all his customers get one, so he must really value you, huh?"
"Wait... Is that what's been bothering you? You think I'm a part of his gang now, or one of his...girlfriends?" Faith asked, horrified. "I have never been anything to him except a customer, and I just wanted to get that ridiculous hospital bill paid! And of course what I did was stupid, but I knew the bank, your brother and my parents were all lost causes. They'd just ask me more questions about you and land you or possibly both of us in jail. All of these years I thought they were lies, the accusations and those comments Keith made about what a troublemaker you were--but now...now I'm not so sure."
"Oh... But still, why would he just up and give you a sticker like that?"
"I wanted to know the same thing. The only context Aaron really gave was that it was because he'd known me from before, back when he was Chance's roommate."
"But how, though? How did he...know you?" Rowan asked, eyes narrowed.
"Fine, I'll tell you--remember when we met him that day that we finally found Chance? Well, at their apartment that day, while you and your brother were catching up, Aaron overheard about our situation with Spencer and the company, and that the police were having a hard time catching him and the people sending us those threatening letters. And he offered me his...services for if anyone ever gave us trouble, and that he'd rough them up and run them out of town for varying fees, depending on the person. I thought it was a joke at first, but one day I actually took him up on it. I never told you about it because I didn't want you to see me any differently, like someone who just uses violence to solve everything. I wanted to try to show you what normal looked like...even if I'm actually not all that normal."
"So...is that why that one girlfriend of Chance's just disappeared from town one day?"
"Yeah... It's like Agna couldn't mind her own business, and she was analyzing everything you and I did. You and I even agreed that she likely worked for the company, and Chance was almost always taking her side of things, so he was obviously no help. I tried reasoning with her, befriending her, and then just flat-out warning her to leave you alone, but nothing worked. I had to do something about her, Rowan, before she did something about us first."
"What did you do?" Rowan asked, looking genuinely disturbed now.
Faith sighed. "We lured her out into the woods near my house, or I did while Aaron waited at an agreed-upon spot, and he attacked her with a baseball bat. She put up a pretty big fight until he finally got the upper hand. And once we got her restrained I asked her questions, like what she wanted with you and why she was terrorizing us, but the whole time she denied being associated with your grandfather or knowing who he was. She did promise to leave us alone for good after Aaron scared her enough though, so after that we let her go."
Rowan let out an exhale and shook his head. "I had no idea, that you were going to such...lengths for me. At least back then I didn't."
"I know what I did was questionable to say the least, and I don't want to put any ideas inside your own head with what I just told you. I had nightmares for weeks afterward--I mean, I'd spent two months' worth of allowance and savings on getting somebody beaten up," Faith said quietly, wringing her hands. "I understand if you think I'm a monster. But I just couldn't stand seeing you cry all the time, while asking what you did wrong and why all these people were after you. I couldn't answer those questions for you, but one thing I did know was that I had money at the time and Aaron had muscle--and a bat. So, I won't pretend I'm any better than you. Because I know that I'm not."
"Actually, I don't think you're a monster at all," Rowan clarified, and he actually seemed to mean it. "And even if you were a monster, it would be because I turned you into one. I filled your head with all my problems and crazy ideas and made them yours, instead of moving on and trying to fix them myself. If it weren't for me, you would still be on good terms with your parents and not owe Galanos all this money, or let alone know somebody like that at all."
"Well, it is what it is now. And even if you don't believe me, I really was going to tell you eventually. I just didn't expect you to find out so fast and so easily."
"Do you really think I'm stupid, Faith? That I don't notice things? Things like you not eating sometimes while always trying to make sure I have enough? I had to do something, because guys like Aaron Galanos don't let up until you pay them back, and then some. "
"I know that," Faith snapped. "I've seen it. The way he was beating up Agna that day, even before he got all that money and influence...that's how I knew he wouldn't treat a woman that much different than he would any man that crossed him, or was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. But that's not going to happen with us, and even if it did, getting away from him would be nothing compared to dealing with Spencer all these years. We'd think of something."
"Listen to yourself, Faith. This is no way to live--not for you. You should've just gone to your parents, because while they might not have helped me, they would've helped you."
"They probably would've made me cut all ties with you first," Faith said stiffly. "Either way, I wasn't about to let you see the inside of that police station again. Which brings us back to the question of where exactly you got those 25 bucks from. You know, at this point you're lucky I don't just check your room right now. I've spilled my guts and been honest with you about what I've done, so now it's your turn."
Rowan's face went pale, but the arrogant undertone in his voice remained. "I just didn't think having some extra money laying around would upset you so much."
"You took that 'boxing and delivery' job those people offered you, didn't you?"
"If I just go ahead and say yes, would it really make you feel better?"
"No...but it gives me a better idea of how to approach this," Faith replied, clenching her fists.
"Approach it by staying out of it as much as possible--please, for your own sake. I haven't officially gotten back with them, but I have been...thinking about it for a long time. And the money I gave you, I've actually had it for a while...before I broke my arm and you made me stay at home all the time. But I just got tired of both of us trying to hide everything from each other and always having to be so scared and secretive, so today I tried to get you to be more honest with me, but you just got all defensive. And I knew you might be upset by it, but I thought this would help you pay Galanos off faster, if just a little--"
Faith held her hand up. "Alright, stop. I don't want to hear you, or even look at you right now. I've changed my mind--no amount of explanation from you is going to make this go away."
Rowan laughed exasperatedly. "Wow... You're pathetic. First you say you're no better than me, and now listen to yourself."
"Go ahead and make your choice, like that man said earlier--it's me, or them," Faith continued coolly. "I already know what choice you're going to make, but I still want you to think about it long and hard."
"Believe me, I won't need long," Rowan muttered as he stormed down the hall and slammed his bedroom door behind him.
Maybe Faith had finally reached her breaking point, because the only two emotions she was feeling now were anger and hunger--she still needed to fix dinner, which Rowan could eat cold or even do without for all she cared. Even a few hours later when he would probably come out of his room and apologize, she didn't think she would be able to accept it. Or at the very least, it would take much longer for her to forgive him than it typically did. Did he even mean it anymore, anyway?
At this point, Faith was becoming less and less afraid of the police catching Rowan. She was almost willing to contact them herself, but there was just too much at stake--her reputation, her job, and staying on Aaron's good side, the latter of which likely involved as little police involvement as possible for now.
ns 15.158.61.48da2
