Chapter 21~ A Reunion
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I’d imagined what it’d be like reuniting with my father. I’d imagined it so much that the dream had strayed farther and farther away from reality every time I indulged. He’d see me and forgot about the past. He’d leave his murderous ways behind him. I’d run into his arms and never let go. We’d be a family again. We’d be something my mother could be proud of.
It most certainly did not play out this way.
After the fabulously rich Indian ships had been emptied of all their valuable contents, the remaining survivors were loaded aboard The Fancy as prisoners. When everyone was aboard, my father’s crew began ushering prisoners below deck.
Edmund and I lagged behind in the crowd, unseen and unheard. “Edmund, put me down,” I whispered, defiantly.
“No. If you keep walking, your foot will go out for good.”
“Let me go.”
“No-”
“Edmund Hemingway, I swear to god, if you don’t put me down right this second I will take a handful of your hair and rip out your scalp,” I growled, snatching a fistful of his bronze-colored hair from behind. He didn’t hesitate a moment more but gently stood me back up.
“What are you doing?”
I took a deep, shaky breath. There, twenty feet away, stood my father, talking aside to another crewman.
“I’m going to greet my father.”
“Wait-”
But I’d already started weaving through the crowd of men. Edmund shoved through, clawing in my direction and calling to me.
“Edmund, stop. This is something I have to do,” I said without another look behind.
There he was. My father.
“Stop!” called out the Cabin Boy. His hand shot out and grabbed my arm. I shook him off, glanced behind me, and suddenly tripped on other prisoners. My breath hitched in my throat and snatched up my heartbeat. With a pained yelp, I tumbled forward—out of the crowd, pulling Edmund out with me. Suddenly, I was on my hands and knees there before the captain.441Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWs2BkawvMn
The air stopped moving. Only our breaths remained anymore. There wasn’t a more intensified moment in all my life. Nothing, not even a fortune teller, could’ve prepared me for it. Hesitantly, I raised my eyes to my father and found his own staring back at me. I’d never seen such total shock on a person until that moment.
In a split second, four crewmen whipped out their guns and pointed them straight at Edmund and me.
I didn’t move. I didn’t stir. For, I was immovable at that moment, enthralled by that single, fleeting instance when the last few years had never occurred and I had never left my father’s side. And how he saw me! Like how a priest sees into the shattered soul of a sinner. Once the eyes attach, they never let go.
Edmund, stiff as a board, whispered in harsh pleads as if we were in the presence of the most unforgiving god. I still hadn’t made up my mind on that matter just yet.
“Constantine. Constantine, say somethin’. Say somethin’, Constantine. I’m beggin’ you. Say somethin’.”
His anxious pants soon died away as did the guns and the crew and, eventually, Edmund himself. Once again, I’d resumed a solid state of mind. But, I’d returned with words.
“Father.”
I’d said the damned words nearly a million times before, but suddenly this felt different, like ice upon my lips. A blessing or a curse?
His lips parted and his brow fell. “Bless my soul. Constantine.”
“Tad too late for that,” hissed Edmund.
A gun cocked, and my father instantly barked out, “Fucking lower your guns!”
As the weapons retracted back into the men, Edmund led me up, gently so as not to push me back into the pit of reality too quickly. My feet touched the cold deck again. I’d never been this close to my father’s height before. My father took a step forward, and another, until he’d reached me. He removed his hat and pressed it to his chest.
“I thought you dead,” he said. I drank up his gaze as if I’d never been had a sip of anything my entire life.
“So did I. But you came.”
“What?”
“You came. I was such a fool. I thought I would die there, Father. I gave up all hope that you’d save me. But, you did. You came back for me just like I’d prayed for. You aren’t what they say, Father. I thought I’d become nothing to you, once and for all. But, this was your plan, wasn’t it? I admit I don’t understand it all, but you—my clever, wonderful father—were coming for me all along. Oh, how I hate myself for doubting it. I guess I’ll just have to understand it in good time. Father, I…I’ve missed you more than any words can say. It was hell aboard that awful place. But, now…now, my life can begin—with you there. And I swear, nothing will ever separate us again. We can start over just as I’d said in all the letters I sent you. We can leave all this behind us—be a family again.”
I threw myself into my father’s arms and devotedly held on. The return of his embrace was weak and unsure. But, that hardly stopped me.
“What in the devil are you talking about?” he answered.
I giggled and smiled into the hug. “My kidnapping, silly.”
“What?”
As if every muscle in my body had gone limp, I slid out of the embrace and away from my father. My smile had left, and I quickly saw no one sharing that same glee. I looked at him with a certain hardness in my gaze.
“My kidnapping—what you were saving me from.” 441Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfyrrS12THv
“Where is your godmother, Constantine?”
And my blood ran cold. I could no longer meet this man’s eyes. Desperately, I tried to pick up the pieces.
“Thomas Tew. Thomas Tew sent you a letter. He sent you a ransom letter for me,” I sharply articulated.
“I never received any letter.”
“This isn’t funny.”
“Constantine, why the hell are you here?”
“This isn’t funny!!” I screamed with all my might.
The air remained unmoving. The only movement came from Edmund placing a hand on my arm which I quickly shook off. I had never before felt so red hot and ice cold at the same time. My entire body shook, quivered in rage.
“You came to save me from The Amity. I didn’t just sit around in denial and misery for months defending you, now did I? No. So, knock off the fucking child’s play!”441Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdU9Guf0jch
“I didn’t come for you!” my father shouted above me, “I came for the Fateh Muhammad. It’s what we’ve been searching for for months now. I don’t know what illusion you believe, but you belong with your godmother back in England—not here aboard my ship. So-”
“I left my godmother a year ago. You’d have known that if you’d bothered to write home.”
“Constantine-” he started.
But, I pushed back. Tears were already filling my eyes, and I could feel my pulse pounding out of every opening of my body. Pain was an understatement.
“I wrote to you all the time. I lived off of the street, starved, and barely survived. But, I was looking for you. I couldn’t just let you go. Because what am I without you? Then, I was taken prisoner by a man who made my life a fucking nightmare. I thought so many times, ‘death would be better than this unbearable hell I’m living’, but I never broke. I never betrayed you. I wanted so much for you to ride over the goddamn horizon and save me! You never came. You…You forgot me. You’re a coward. You’re a shell of a man, and I hope you rot in hell, you selfish son-of-a-bitch!!”
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By now, I’d become a mess and recoiled into the comfort of Edmund who hushed my sobs and let me bawl into his shoulder. My father was silent, struck down from his high throne at long last. He shifted uncomfortably before speaking again.
“I wasn’t meant to be a father, Constantine. Your mother thought having you would ground me—keep me from leaving home. But, being with your mother was never home for me. This is. But, you deserve better than me. You always have. That’s why I couldn’t stay with you, my dear. Every second away from the open seas—away from this life—was like daggers in my very soul. I hope you can, one day, find it in your heart to forgive me.”
I wiped away the tears, brushing aside the aching in my chest and suffocation in my lungs. I turned back to face the man I once knew as my father. And I said in the most unfeeling voice I could muster, “Men like you have no soul.”
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