Thursday, July 28, 2016 – Afternoon
Harry and Astoria sat on the terrace beside their house and looked out over Lake Geneva. They had been married for nine years and had moved to Switzerland. They had two handsome boys and Astoria was expecting her third baby.
Harry had known her for twenty years. She was one of the first people he met when he woke up. She had helped him learn to walk and talk. She had helped him to learn about his magic. His relationship with Astoria had begun slowly. He called her a cruel slave driver far more often than his loving girlfriend.
Harry had read about his life before losing his memories. It was like reading a biography about someone else. He didn’t remember anything about his life before waking up in the hospital in Paris. As he understood more about his own feelings, he was happier not remembering how he felt during some of those stories.
Today, he was waiting for a visit from two friends from those forgotten years. They were Luna Lovegood and Ginny Weasley. Luna had taken turns with her other friends in the reading roster. For years, Harry had enjoyed listening to his readings. The readings were simple books and stories at first. Then there were novels, and textbooks as the number of words he knew increased.
Ginny was different. She had started writing to him years later. She told Harry a lot of stories about himself. One story that Ginny often repeated was how Harry had saved her life in The Chamber of Secrets. The Greengrass Potions elves had taken photographs and measurements of the basilisk that they removed from The Chamber of Secrets. If they had not done that, Harry would have difficulty believing the size of it and he would never have understood the bravery he showed in killing the monster. Then he had to face the shade of Tom Riddle who was stealing Ginny’s life from her. Harry had trouble imagining how he managed to do that.
The guests arrived and were seated at a table. Cool drinks were served.
Harry wanted questions of his own answered. ”Ginny! How do you feel about that time? Did anyone ever talk to you about being trapped by that thing hidden in the diary?”
Ginny waited, looking at Harry. “I was kept in the infirmary for a while and then I was sent to St. Mungo’s. People kept asking me questions about the time that I was possessed. My honest answer is that I don’t remember any of it. It was like a story that I was not a part of. It didn’t worry me. It was horrible that I came so close to dying, but it was like a story about someone else.”
Harry thought about her answer. “That is exactly how I feel about the time that I don’t remember. It is like a story about someone else, and it doesn’t worry me.”
Luna smiled and placed he hand on Harry’s arm. He didn’t flinch or even twitch at her touch. Luna smiled again as she remembered how Harry used to recoil from any touch. Now, that reflex reaction was gone.
“Harry, you are ready to hear this. Apollo has told me that you do not have to have those memories back. They are not what makes you a person. You are the same Harry that we knew at Hogwarts, but you don’t have the same fears and nightmares. You are happy with what you have now, and that is good for you.”
Apollo had given the latest message to Luna. Luna had passed it on to the former vassals and Harry’s friends. Harry read the message again.
250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQybDyCzal
This is for all Harry’s friends. You will be contacted by the runaway vassal. You should be prepared for what you will hear.
You need to know about Hermione’s mental state
You have to understand what is going on inside Hermione's mind. Athena knows this sort of mind quite well and it can be a hard place.
Hermione thinks of herself as a 'GOOD' person. This is a BIG LIE. No one is that good.
When she was 15, she made a wrong choice. She rejected the supernatural in favour of the rational. A very common decision, which has driven her life since then.
Now, more than 20 years later, she has been shown the truth which she can't reject.
She now knows what it is to be guilty. From now on, for the rest of her life, she will be attacked by her own guilt feelings. She hurt her best friend for the wrong reason.
She may come back to Harry, beg to be forgiven, and even offer to submit to humiliating penance. But she will not forgive herself, ever.
This is what 'GOOD' people do. They are difficult to deal with.
The Gods know this and are expert at keeping the awful guilt thing going, just for Hermione. Nobody else will see it or hear it. If she doesn’t deal with it, she could be driven crazy.
She will have to accept that she is not a ‘GOOD’ person.
She will have to become suspicious of her own motives, and her most secret thoughts.
She will have to accept that her own mind will deceive and betray her and that this was always so. Being a ‘GOOD’ person is not enough. She has to acknowledge that she is flawed.
What Hecate told her is still available for her.
She has the promise of a long happy life if she accepts her own failure.
Then, she may be able to learn to live with herself.
Athena, Hera
Gods of Olympus
250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84SHeV9Bkx
Another visitor was shown to the terrace. Harry, Astoria, Ginny and Luna stood up to greet her. For the first time in more than twenty years, Hermione had come to talk to Harry.
She had been told the difficult truth. Harry would not remember her at all. He knew who she was. He knew exactly what had happened at Hogwarts, but it was all like a story that happened to someone else.
In the end, only Luna, and Ginny, and Astoria agreed to meet Hermione with Harry.
Harry watched Hermione approach. She gave no sign of what she was thinking or feeling. She stopped two paces away from Harry and waited. Harry did not reach out to her, not even to shake her hand. He motioned to Hermione to be seated at the table. Harry and the others took their seats.
There was silence for a minute. It seemed like an hour.
Hermione spoke. “A week ago, I received a packet of letters that you wrote to me during the Tri-Wizard Tournament. I understand that you don’t remember writing them. Is that right?”
Harry moved in his seat. “Yes, that is right. I don’t remember writing them, but I’m told that the house-elves reported that I did write them and kept them.”
“You knew that I was burning the letters that you sent to me. Is that right?”
“I don’t remember it, but I am told that it was happening.” Harry was glancing at Hermione and quickly looking away.
Luna gazed at Hermione. She noticed that her hands were shaking. It was the one of a few signs of stress from Hermione. Hermione’s hair had been cut and was in a much shorter style than when she had been at Hogwarts. She still nervously brushed her hair away from her face even though there was nothing out of place. Hermione stared steadily at Harry and did not look away.
“I read those letters. I want to apologize to you for rejecting your attempts to contact me.” Hermione’s voice had a faint quaver in it.
Harry looked steadily at Hermione. “I accept your apology, Hermione.”
“I apologize to you for accusing you of faking those Edicts. It is inexcusable. I’m begging for you to forgive me Harry, but I don’t see how you can. I can’t accept that any of you would really forgive me.”
“Hermione, I forgive you; for everything. Please let us talk about this. Talk about everything, there is no hurry.” Harry looked steadily at Hemione. Nobody was smiling.
“Tell us what you thought at the time.”
Hermione replied. “When I first read the Edict from Zeus, I hated it. I could not accept that anything like that could be genuine. I had read the claims that magic came from the Gods of Olympus, but I rejected that. I rejected any thought of there being any such thing as a God. I thought that magic came from nature. Nothing in our lessons at Hogwarts told us about the Gods.”
Hermione stared steadily at Harry.
“I was convinced that somehow someone working with you had forged the Edicts and falsely convinced the Ministry that they were genuine. I was being driven crazy by visits from the Gods in my dreams. You put it in your letters that the other vassals were confronted by the Gods in their dreams. They stopped after five nights. I was convinced that I was being attacked by mind magics being cast at me by a dark wizard working with you. When the attacks stopped, I was even more certain that dark magic was being used to attack me.”
Luna took a deep breath. “Hermione, only Ginny and I accepted that the Edicts were right. The other vassals thought the same as you.”
Ginny sighed. “I didn’t understand what it was about. I was really immature. I wanted to stay with Harry. I didn’t understand why. It was my mother and father who dragged me out of there. My father wanted to get my mother away before she did something silly.”
“What happened to the others to change their minds?” Hermione asked.
“It was the visits by the Gods in their dreams. It was frightening. Apollo, Hermes, Athena, and Hecate all visited them. Hecate terrified them.” Luna spoke quietly with no trace of dreaminess in her voice.
“They hated being vassals. They didn’t like Harry. They wanted to wake up from the nightmare and go back to their old houses. They didn’t say that because they were frightened that Hecate would come back. That was on their first nights.” Luna made a sad face.
“The new head of Merlin House arrived and set us to work. We were organized to go everywhere with Harry. We were told to never leave him alone. We realized years later that Professor Dawes was concerned that Harry would attempt suicide to escape. Us being with him all the time reduced the opportunities for him to do that. It is called ‘suicide watch’. That went on for weeks before it sank in that we were not vassals. We really had been released and Harry couldn’t order us to do anything. Harry showed that he hated the vassalages as much as anyone else did. He released all of us from the vassalages as soon as he could. Then we started to work out that Harry was the one who was trapped. He was locked into the Tournament and that was the last thing he wanted. Then we started to like Harry. Harry has something about him that makes people care for him. The constant snipping and hostility from the Gryffindors and the rest of Hogwarts brought Merlin House together.”
Hermione looked around. “How can you stand to sit here and talk to me so normally? I kicked Harry when he was down and ran away. I refused to listen for twenty years. Why aren’t you hating me?”
There was a short silence. Astoria answered. “We are the only ones who would talk to you. The others all asked to be left out. They didn’t trust themselves to be civil to you.”
Hermione stared at Astoria. “If I was you, I would be hexing me on sight. There would be no mercy.”
Astoria spoke again. “We are not being merciful.”
Astoria put her hand on Harry’s shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze.
Harry took a letter and passed it to Hermione.
“This is a message from Apollo, it came from Athena and Hera. I think that I mentioned in my letters that we were getting messages from the Gods. Luna is an Oracle of Apollo. She regularly speaks to Hermes and Apollo.”
Harry waited while Hermione opened the letter.
“We all got this message. It is necessary for you to read it and understand.”
Hermione read the letter. As she read her face darkened again.
“I don’t understand.”
Hermione frowned and looked up.
“I know that I failed. I’m admitting that. What else is there?”
Luna smiled and spoke with her dreamy voice again.
“People make mistakes. They are caught out. They apologize and then go on to make more mistakes. They often do not confront the thing inside themselves which drives them.”
Astoria spoke. “That is the Dumbledore way. He went on trusting in his own ability and magical power. He was powerful. He also made terrible mistakes which cost other people their lives and sanity. He apologized and used the resulting leeway he was given to go on and make more mistakes.”
Harry joined in. “Luna told us what happened to him. The Gods took him away and left him somewhere so that he could reconsider his life. If he ever came to understand, then they would allow him to come back. It has been twenty years and there is still no sign of him.”
“He is still alive.” Ginny said. “He owns the vassalage over the Weasley family. We are all his vassals. My great-great-grandfather’s debt was bought by the Dumbledores. They have owned us ever since. I discovered that when I started being paid for playing quidditch. A significant chunk of my pay was taken out and paid into his Gringotts vault. We all must pay Dumbledore to try to pay the interest on the debt. Weasleys have never been able to pay that interest. The debt keeps on growing. Dad has left his job to search for Dumbledore. The vassalage compels him to do that. Mum is on her own, living at the Burrow. The kids visit for an hour then we have to run away. She is demented, living in her own private hell.”
Luna was serious again. “Don’t let that happen to you, Hermione. Get your mind in order. You will get help. You must ask for it. If you want me to, I will write to you, as long as you take notice of what I say.”
Harry spoke. “You are forgiven, Hermione. Your magic will not be taken from you. You have a chance to recover. Let go of being a ‘GOOD’ person. Become an ordinary person who does not trust her own mind. Don’t let your life become your own hellish self-inflicted prison.”
250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe0zaBDhrEV
