x
天亮，上班。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD0tRAV2lsm
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwI4rcdbLaY
擠進人山人海的車廂，心竟是難得的平靜。看著人們專注把玩手中的電子玩物，我心中更覺異常的安全。畢竟，好不容易才能擺脫熟人的注意。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW8MT99GicX
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnyWABqEd19
車廂一如往常，平穩中帶輕微搖晃，教本已帶睡意的乘客更為昏昏欲睡。有些嘴饞的人不理會廣播的呼籲，繼續進食，令人側目。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvknNqU3Ew
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPf2wtQHd8Y
食物的細碎，像沙子一樣，在人們毫不注意的情況下，悄然掉在地上，再被無意地踏個粉碎。在接著的數個車站，人們再肆意加以踐踏，令碎粉再度粉碎。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFgqvH8AUs
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEHrMNupmC3
到站了，我有意無意地繞過人羣，「不經意」踏中那些有數隻小蟻的食物碎粉，心中是一陣少有的快意。幕門關上，我回頭望進車廂，想要看看被我蹂躪過的碎粉，但列車經已開駛。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkoyVkCDMBD
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXu2PPGDHwa
看不見，罷。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWylcPo9BPe
天黑，下班。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeR5goU7O0F
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8VLPjafVTK
身心俱疲。好不容易才與同路的男同事擠進車廂，繼續講上司的壞話。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKi7t5AL658
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMbBkTWfMjM
「有蟻。」男同事突然指著快由我鞋面爬到小腿的一隻小螞蟻。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrTwwd0RgfS
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjc9Jmb80Gp
我呆了。腦海中一片空白。不！有一個很遙遠的身影。那是誰？我看不見……我不想看見……197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH9U0Skc5Da
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ75C2GU5w53
「啪」的一聲，男同事一手拍在我的小腿上，那隻螞蟻——扁了。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhLKTpIvCVp
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvzfnDuHiE0
「沒事了！」他笑了笑，問我：「你很怕小昆蟲？」197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7nTUCX3OEo
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7XOMVFaBNX
「不，只是怕蟻。」我感覺到，我的唇還在顫抖，但卻仍勉力一笑。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6o6Xm7UVbA
公司，午飯時間。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKC2V1MD5F
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3sztAZ7SOT
甲小姐正在上網看劇；乙先生在打盹；丙小姐外出吃飯去；丁先生仍在享用他那巨型飯盒；戊小姐……197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUopoDOdTCf
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6nOvkThyfi
看著同事們的百態，我突然覺得自己和他們一樣，都是很渺小的生命體，小得……有點兒……像……螞蟻。這是我最不想要看到的事，尤其是發生在我自己身上。大家營役勞碌，不也是只為求兩餐溫飽嗎？那與盲目求存的螞蟻有何分別？197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzVwr6M06lJ
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIarGIr8ACW
驀地，我看見一隻螞蟻在我手背上路過，卻沒意識去按扁它。我把手輕輕放在枱面上，讓它自然而然的爬走。看著它在牆角消失，我感到自己也消失了似的。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZ8v3QKfjz
其實，真正的我只是一隻螞蟻，不過會偶爾做白日夢，幻想自己變成人類，過著那荒唐無稽的生活。那種生活，是有目的的付出，有希望的付出。每天朝著那所謂的「希望」跑，多奢侈！無他，這就是意義。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡasxYylYYUO
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVhEjEkNGHj
還是……197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG30jetsW3e
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡveT7rdStB9
其實，真正的我只是一個渺小的人類。不過會偶爾做白日夢，幻想自己是一隻蟻，過著那種沒頭沒腦的生活。那種生活很乏味，只懂一味尋找食物。無他，這就是生存！197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb0xXdYzKRt
公司，工作。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgVr9zuOgnW
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡllTyJOcbay
被上司罵個狗血淋頭。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyittpyjq68
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiHndjHy5y7
大家心知犯錯的不是我，奈何人是怕事的，只好把我推上斷頭台。事後，一句道歉或安慰也欠奉。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJPp7wOMYQ2
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZgh0zEIHfY
很難過。我只好躲進廁格稍作自我冷靜。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF7VyEVG2XF
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHuvtf29fb9
剛巧，一隻螞蟻經過廁格。我毫不猶豫一腳踏扁它。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbBGTIuVyDV
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8PjCS8sST8
快意，笑了。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8tc9PHRpco
酒吧，喝酒。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSSPzww81AD
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPIV7S1KJ3j
「你不是只怕螞蟻而已嗎？為何現在也怕酒起來？」男同事笑問。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8kiu3E5JgW
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLrg1Fghj8P
「其實，我不大好喝酒。」我怯怯的道。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlx7LPxgHnm
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ00LPoImx8v
「還是……你根本不會喝酒？」他哈哈大笑。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡipstBwcpy2
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFkyOZO7eF7
聽著他那豁然開朗開朗的笑聲，我突然變得不大抗拒，乾脆把小杯裡的酒一飲而盡。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ77zp4229YE
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX364BvGPWt
醉倒。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwzCOvnIOE
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuFxWYvnZJd
迷糊間，我看見男同事以螞蟻姿態爬上我的身體，不停遊走於每吋肌膚。他似乎沒停下來的意欲，想要到它的洞穴去……197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbk92V9uev2
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMpOvTOKNTG
「上天取走你的一扇門，定會留給你一扇窗。」197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiscuMKmCOn
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKGQ5c1oBV
今趟，上天留給我一隻螞蟻。我給其取名為「男朋友」。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBxz8SHWaOj
假期，醫院。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2EBb4SeCdt
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡadz53IuA3m
媽就在這間醫院裡。她患了甚麼病，還未明確，因為報告要待下星期才會完成。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2L0YKNuwk1
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOFbCN1rZ5H
看見媽的時候，家中各人都是淚眼漣漣，很憂心。這種氣氛令健壯的人也難免感到窒息。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEt87C5srTa
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2o9dy7pUsV
「我覺得……」近幾天，媽的話都變得斷斷續續：「自己……」197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8L9p5dHE4J
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHUF4tYBaB
大家都屏息靜氣，深怕這是她的最後一句話。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzTFJjWagJ3
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLENvDSL0oF
「自己是……一隻螞蟻……」她的聲音，輕如柔絲，但我知道大家都聽得很清楚。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMPr8CidT9u
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWcbNpMaN5o
死寂。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡryZwKqgQdU
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcOrAN42mUE
出乎我意料，這竟是她講得最清楚的一句話，不論是肉體還是心靈上。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡehoCNY6UCx
回家，晚飯。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7HFDc7X2xp
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY0fxh9ubYT
一枱六椅，異常的沉默。電視的聲浪，掩不住大家的咀嚼聲——大家口中的食物似乎比鋼鐵更硬。我裝作不以為意，繼續吃。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGp3O8uiGQ
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4pz89NlIM
「很難吃。」爸突然放下筷子：「不如外出吃飯。」197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnIEz5cEmJI
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ51xwZ799fS
妹放下筷子衝進房內，甩門；姨低下頭來，但她盯著枱上菜餚的怒目卻仍清晰可見；婆呆了，眼眶紅潤；我默默望著對面牆身上一隻偶然經過的螞蟻。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbJkN7dTmje
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo6q7oGQeSt
我心想：世界末日來臨後，地球會否只剩下這隻螞蟻？197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSqNTDytJi5
每次望著媽，心中都生起莫名的感覺。我的腦海裡浮現出一隻螞蟻的模樣，彷彿她根本就是一隻螞蟻。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVtTrlNeHAg
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ54Rjo5XvCD
一隻螞蟻在做菜煮飯、洗衣拖地、燙衫抹窗……多可笑！就是因為她是一隻螞蟻，所以我從沒有幫忙做家務的念頭，去減輕她的負擔。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb83aGdTGXo
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmTaik3EHtd
久而久之，我每次一見到她，便會掉頭走。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ23x1gjy1yo
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡga5v4ObJol
但我知道，我永沒能走遠。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ4s2tyuoM1
男友家，床上。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQcELkxrnW
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEOJ9DULyTB
前奏後，男友進入極度興奮狀態，沒注意到我正在放空自己。在他還在我身上冒汗之時，我的思緒又飛往遙遠的他方去了——産房。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKCxeucWEi6
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyQqYDpwKMf
産房內有一張床，床上有一隻非常細小的蟻后。她痛得不得了，是産婦們口中的十級痛楚。那表示，她要生産了。不消一會，整張床上都是幼蟻，恐怖非常。但她的身體卻沒停止的意識。現在幼蟻已攻陷整個産房、整間醫院、整個世界。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWJ8JQq4MAe
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsqGQACwu2u
我驚恐萬分之際，耳邊傳來蟻后的淒怨聲音：「他朝君體也相同！」197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ZGoIm3iGM
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUKB3HGVCX
床上的我驚叫。男友以為我也感到興奮，於是更用力……197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaEnq1FpMaX
舊生聚會，內地某酒家。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV70zx5YaBP
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUcqtF0cQd7
說也奇怪，舊生聚會竟會選擇在內地舉行。聽聞是聚會發起人的主意，說會給我們驚喜。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJcE1JDMqya
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPj6kgGzwVF
「蟻宴？」我呆了，但逃不了。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEeITbgCLqj
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnqmzzYCJOc
「你有收看《天與地》嗎？」舊生甲吃一口紅蟻炒蛋。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUC3qPbRCP
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFVUGE9hIzf
「有。人吃人那幕很震撼！」乙滿口黑蟻殘肢。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFv86Y8xt3
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLFojYWb6LA
「結局何如？」丙一口氣喝下半碗白蟻湯。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8VsUQYprn
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS8GulesMZK
「沒好下場！」丁邊說邊給我一碗黃蟻糖水。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx5EDOUX30L
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIXUVFOPyIR
「對！沒好下場！」我在心裡重覆著，衝到洗手間嘔吐大作。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYqo83Lp6QS
男友有很多恐怖的寵物：蛇、蜥蝪、蜘蛛……每次做愛時，他都會放一些寵物在床邊，以增加他的性趣。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN6FXfQiJiJ
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYdsQ19nL55
今趟，床邊竟無任何寵物的蹤影。我暗喜。完事後，我不經意的問道：「你的寵物呢？」197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmEjVx6PwPs
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOp7bUAewWv
「在你體內。」197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe4yniRvsx1
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJUz4GhrvHq
「甚麼？」197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK3SgqyMbSz
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOKkPfT9qI1
「蟻。」197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKLTyt5ZcAw
有一隻螞蟻住在我心內。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfCAbQSdNtj
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpYDJklwWLc
它平常會做甚麼？做菜煮飯、洗衣拖地、燙衫抹窗……嗯，它會做的事真的很多，但從沒理會過我的感受。它憑甚麼闖進我的心、我的生活！它最好立刻消失！197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvNXZu3Nr78
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2AnmYVRX8m
結果，我生命中其中一隻螞蟻真的消失了。我依稀記得它的名字是「媽」。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsU4yqUQv4l
靈堂上，我一再向來賓欠身鞠躬。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk5zjY8gCyw
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO6kmB9Iw4P
「她真的死了嗎？」某君的聲音傳到我耳邊，但我心知那不是靈堂裡的人。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK6dSpEC3uu
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpteWwDwcWj
「誰？」另一聲音反問。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiV8gq34zkg
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoO8kbP8XZ5
「二九三號表妹。」某君不耐煩的道：「她……」197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXioWLadA3N
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRaYCvUyHT0
靜。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBqRvM9aqIt
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJD1kLnWeU
我回過神來，低頭一看——我剛不經意踏扁兩隻小蟻。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgRuYtenWgv
我：「我的耳朵有毛病嗎？為何會聽到螞蟻講話？」197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMfnHH5O275
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUlzY7D68ml
醫：「不。是你的壓力過大，導致有幻聽。」197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTyD9krpaiE
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡddXHBDFamo
我：「我有精神病？」197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfJOje6k7oW
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfXI3K8VYVP
醫：「是情緒病。」197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdrvtovWh5y
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ3gArt3Az2
我：「怎麼辦？」197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYzI4RJuY5Q
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBHfwzKOUCe
醫：「我會處方一些藥物，你要按時服用；另外，你也要多休息……」197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡunn4vCPx4V
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp3nWjRATyY
我：「謝謝醫生。」197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0seVMfBEc8
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSGws0rUXMt
醫：「不用謝。」197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiw5pcVOomw
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ39g3ckWp7y
離開診所時，我回頭望一望地上的廣告牌——「馬義專科」。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53BAJTorhC
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNsI52EkFRf
不，我走近細看，是「虫馬虫義」專科。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvgRVQxmvdO
總覺得體內有東西在蠶食著我。是蟻？197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvvyrqaNROb
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8xC8jqCIo
醫生替我作身體檢查，一切正常；197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq67efrxRaq
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh4PiHpYbbR
男友向我解釋，螞蟻之說，純粹幽默；197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt4KQIo64Ge
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ80IA47AJ1Z
同事都勸我休息，減少工作量；197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoQph0T9ksb
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4LVURSTzl0
……197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbOTIkHu7bn
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvHngry3LgF
「真的有蟻在我體內！」我尖叫，奪門而出，從天台一躍而下，肝腦塗地。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJKrAWEM6Ho
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7EK3k8TuWx
臨死前，我看見那東西了——不是蟻，是……
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》。若此舉違規，煩請創挑主通知，願刪文。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkLR3cOlOXL
