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秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。她慢步於公園大道，有意無意踏在枯葉上。沙沙沙，聽來已然粉身碎骨，看來完好無缺。121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7xdyM9ecwV
121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv3BNEbLtZS
「完好？」現在的她問。121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJv1eszMBJX
121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnb3nRpwuky
「無缺？」曾經的他問。121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ50p56R450g
121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG4HxQt9fMV
很多人說他生活美滿。家境富裕，頭腦聰明，五官英氣，身材高大。聞言他總是假笑，笑對方客氣得過份。奈何對方從未察覺他的笑容雖假，情感卻是真實而強烈的：他的確認為對方很過份。他想要的從不是這種生活，可惜每次對此表示厭棄時，總有人批評他不知足。121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWQR76h3ze6
121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDb7X5eNUlB
輕嘆一聲，繼續前行。踏踏踏，沙沙沙，聲聲撕心裂肺。像父母的哭罵，令人痛，也令人愧疚不安。無論他們如何呼天搶地，他終究永遠不會回來。121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYEgX8ElCeB
121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSulYNSsJuO
遷入新居，展開新生。吃力，困難。已然表達得很清楚，對方還是假裝不知該使用哪個稱謂。有人說不介意，有人說很平常，話題和目光卻只停留在胯下之物。121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkXoGZL8eF
121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx7W2YW3Cju
無處訴說的孤獨日夜縈繞不散。曾發誓永不後悔，曾以為自己是多麼堅毅勇敢，曾相信世界其實不是那麼單一而絕情……121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLlY5OBD6Fc
121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu98s8OcUmL
步出公園，拐了幾個街口，來到醫院門前。121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIPLklK8PF9
121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZJ6j5p41F9
「醫生，早晨。」121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPzsgJV3b5p
121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbY2Xo5eEn4
「早晨。近來身體好嗎？」121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQiihyrAabv
121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvFetj0Pf2i
「好……不過……」121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlXM7tN0oXH
121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFG3rVEV7at
「不過甚麼？」121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOAnmbBISeP
121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡejlOqf1F4P
「我想再做手術。」121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdiDOjIH7GM
121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ31p9yJQJvT
「為甚麼？」121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpmb8OVuzNh
121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmfWdfnZoBv
「不適應現在的生活。」121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6EX4gxhfm
121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwKZooxipg3
「不適應身體的變化或是有其他困難？」121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmHBMLnKXKP
121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhy1z2s5GLZ
「是生活上的困難……其實我很滿意現在的身體，我覺得這才是真正的自己！過往的我根本不是我！可惜旁人都不是這麼認為……」121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqletxsRTuD
121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8z81p5ILSh
「所以你想要回以前的性別？」121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfCZbYTfURH
121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdFZ1402RSF
「不——我是不想要任何性別。」121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhdAI1fcclc
121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEy3dko9U1X
「噢……抱歉我還未能捕捉到你的思路。」121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5FSMWUbVFs
121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡleWXAZC9ie
「這些日子，我遇到的問題大都源於旁人無法定徹底認同我是男或女。如果我沒有特定性別，可以在『男』、『女』、『跨性別』、『無性別』幾個類別之間遊走，可能會更自由！」121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZRc9QJqq4D
121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfM7zHHl2mR
「依我看來，你再次做手術之後，將要面對的問題會更多更嚴重。」121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlk9GHA7od8
121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEdudX4E89K
「我理解你的意思，但我還是想要放手一搏——我堅信每次改變都會帶來新的可能、新的希望。」121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtAGMRSFHHh
121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡheCNs8uE4c
「既然你堅持，我會按程序寫信轉介你去心理輔導部門作專業評估。」121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiMS7j0dere
121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe1Bi2JbhZS
「謝謝你。」121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhRgZttqDWb
121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNA7dkHCnC6
跟醫生多聊一會後，她步出醫院，再次走經公園。121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUAVbbtXla
121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxIvr17ZP03
秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。她慢步於公園大道，有意無意踏在枯葉上。沙沙沙，聽來已然粉身碎骨，看來完好無缺。121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkrSdZYPxDv
121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfF6O5A11ed
「以前未完好。」現在的她說。121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWGmoaJ3bUX
121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvkCMLEAGKa
「將來會無缺。」曾經的他說。121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡba3yxmYQuz
121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsTXi2rQ6Bc
她笑了，笑自己傻，笑自己依然沉浸在幻想世界當中，相信自己的人生將來一定會變得完好無缺。121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Isnxc6tfm
121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4sBNpWu82u
明知無人能斷言明天一定會更好。121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjhsLy04VWG
121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZnoHNDtxl
奈何人總需要一個努力的原因、一個繼續活下去的原因。121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ8k42dW6hL
121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkv1mvUo3qd
那個原因名為「希望」。121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7XWJvhwkjC
121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwNn9TqOUpF
「我定要繼續努力。」現在的她說。121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgpaBJhIT7I
121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDiuTMtd2us
「好好活下去吧。」曾經的他說。121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡplL8tdAgr2
121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiHj4R33P0A
秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKaO3Jeiz71
121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwBn75UqHlX
她慢步於公園大道，放眼欣賞沿路風景，不再留意地上的枯葉。
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》
ns 15.158.61.48da2
