x
秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。她慢步於公園大道，有意無意踏在枯葉上。沙沙沙，聽來已然粉身碎骨，看來完好無缺。131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpStBQn4V92
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡayoovd8vDW
「完好？」現在的她問。131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2VLbQC6pmA
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyS8STvlRYX
「無缺？」曾經的他問。131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxZA44xfNWW
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡebvqKpr1wo
很多人說他生活美滿。家境富裕，頭腦聰明，五官英氣，身材高大。聞言他總是假笑，笑對方客氣得過份。奈何對方從未察覺他的笑容雖假，情感卻是真實而強烈的：他的確認為對方很過份。他想要的從不是這種生活，可惜每次對此表示厭棄時，總有人批評他不知足。131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoHbpU27uM6
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPpHvoVcaTL
輕嘆一聲，繼續前行。踏踏踏，沙沙沙，聲聲撕心裂肺。像父母的哭罵，令人痛，也令人愧疚不安。無論他們如何呼天搶地，他終究永遠不會回來。131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEU2stI0PI6
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCsQjV8oonK
遷入新居，展開新生。吃力，困難。已然表達得很清楚，對方還是假裝不知該使用哪個稱謂。有人說不介意，有人說很平常，話題和目光卻只停留在胯下之物。131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKeTi2WgQ8p
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJeR533QLk
無處訴說的孤獨日夜縈繞不散。曾發誓永不後悔，曾以為自己是多麼堅毅勇敢，曾相信世界其實不是那麼單一而絕情……131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡttjntoL0mb
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9BiH0JrNFY
步出公園，拐了幾個街口，來到醫院門前。131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0CKqB0HbO6
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtJpYDrOtU
「醫生，早晨。」131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC0dukx3x6z
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7PXvoM1gXe
「早晨。近來身體好嗎？」131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJRJJ38A0PB
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQUXBBkGfui
「好……不過……」131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLMAoH4sUv
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNnJKJz76Mk
「不過甚麼？」131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq924yJX9Bq
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgQYvnP2W27
「我想再做手術。」131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE911J1C5Sq
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtiPz5mVtSI
「為甚麼？」131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvUgDxIZgXc
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLxmgahL7Rr
「不適應現在的生活。」131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAsO3izKCMN
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdwEb3h1VKC
「不適應身體的變化或是有其他困難？」131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRXJ4psO7Gs
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR9hT6tkTzm
「是生活上的困難……其實我很滿意現在的身體，我覺得這才是真正的自己！過往的我根本不是我！可惜旁人都不是這麼認為……」131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNE8wycpYuF
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqZIBtpt2Ve
「所以你想要回以前的性別？」131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XyDJyUh0T
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMA8POImQ2
「不——我是不想要任何性別。」131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNGNHaQZMrV
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Nmd7LnzhZ
「噢……抱歉我還未能捕捉到你的思路。」131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡebqwRQtniy
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnk4EqgIWNx
「這些日子，我遇到的問題大都源於旁人無法定徹底認同我是男或女。如果我沒有特定性別，可以在『男』、『女』、『跨性別』、『無性別』幾個類別之間遊走，可能會更自由！」131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrEdyiint6W
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYE2oCfZ3sx
「依我看來，你再次做手術之後，將要面對的問題會更多更嚴重。」131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTXMd3yqsA0
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSGr3NaMp6t
「我理解你的意思，但我還是想要放手一搏——我堅信每次改變都會帶來新的可能、新的希望。」131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtmsFdMstgb
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdu7Jl4wXCk
「既然你堅持，我會按程序寫信轉介你去心理輔導部門作專業評估。」131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7GMavUEBro
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJ6P2Wy5hi
「謝謝你。」131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW3fZGQmDtA
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAn8os2SjHT
跟醫生多聊一會後，她步出醫院，再次走經公園。131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhniXt2QkSO
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAPFXI985re
秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。她慢步於公園大道，有意無意踏在枯葉上。沙沙沙，聽來已然粉身碎骨，看來完好無缺。131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ05dMTwTnB4
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn5cyi9oPWR
「以前未完好。」現在的她說。131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpb2iG2wCxW
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6iejZ3Lyg3
「將來會無缺。」曾經的他說。131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6utiL0JId
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH6HaA5CdfH
她笑了，笑自己傻，笑自己依然沉浸在幻想世界當中，相信自己的人生將來一定會變得完好無缺。131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxpAREonoiR
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxd5W0XMmff
明知無人能斷言明天一定會更好。131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAdBfhAQE5k
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ABFxLMTSQ
奈何人總需要一個努力的原因、一個繼續活下去的原因。131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR7Tn9m9l94
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhG1ja0xZ3
那個原因名為「希望」。131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvnwon0aOmJ
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8l10c4RqFU
「我定要繼續努力。」現在的她說。131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXUlnCQh1Vp
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9kTef7cSEH
「好好活下去吧。」曾經的他說。131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7EfWEK31Lx
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtheEIdFzqK
秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLnhqhFlJUK
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYphRI0ucsx
她慢步於公園大道，放眼欣賞沿路風景，不再留意地上的枯葉。
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》
ns 15.158.61.11da2
