The days blended one into another after that, until I could no longer tell what day it was, let alone what month. I wasn't allowed to have a calendar, and Mother made it clear from the outset she'd wipe my mind by force if she ever caught me trying to make sense of the days as they passed by. So I sat on my bed and stared at the wall, trying to keep my mind blank so Mother wouldn't have a reason to pry. I'd learned quite a lot during my two days at Jethro's packhouse, and whenever Mother dove into my mind, she found a facsimile of the thoughts and hopes she'd rummaged through on my return home. No matter how deep she dove, she was no longer able to get to the core of who I was, which meant my private self was safe from further invasion. With little else to do to fill the long days, I had more than enough time to perfect the skill Arrow had taught me, but I knew that eventually, Mother would break through.
Still, it gave me great pleasure to thwart her, though I knew the punishment would be horrifically severe the day she found out I'd been deceiving her.
Then Faith came home.
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I learned of Faith's arrival when the door crashed open, as it had done the day she'd come to the nunnery, and when she commanded me to turn and look at her, I read death in her eyes. "Mother is weak," she said angrily, slamming the door shut behind her. She stalked to the bedside and seized my hair, forcing me to look up at her. I blinked back tears of pain, and she slapped me hard, causing me to see stars. "I'm taking over your watch now. And you are going to drop this pathetic act! I know you're not innocent. You're a spoilt brat, and Mother was wrong not to wipe your mind when you came home. Too bad for you, you misbegotten freak of nature. I've chastised her for failing me, and she's agreed I'm the better one when it comes to reining you in. And rein you in I will. I know all about the little trick you used to conceal your soul from Mother, and she's very disappointed you decieved her in such a fashion. She wanted to punish you for that, but I told her I'd take care of it."
I swallowed hard, and earned another slap. "No more of that," Faith ordered. "You aren't going to show any emotion that isn't gratitude from now on, you little brat. You hear me?"168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZTbgPTncw
"I hear you," I said, as steadily as I could manage, and Faith slapped me again. I fought the urge to flinch, barely, and earned yet another slap. This time I held steady, refusing to give even the slightest reaction, and the final slap caught me a ringing blow that made me see stars once more.
"You're pathetic," Faith snarled, gingerly nursing her sore hand. My cheeks ached like fury, but I refused to let the pain show, and met her gaze steadily. "Gods above," she added, glaring at me in disgust. "Why Mother didn't drown you is anyone's guess. Oh well. You're going to learn to like the life I've planned for you. And you're going to be on bended knee every day, praising me for giving you the chance to live. You're going to grovel for my favour, and if I don't like it, I'll make sure you know all about it." She finally let go of my hair, but I kept my face level, refusing to acknowledge how sore my scalp was, and how relieved I was she hadn't torn my hair out by the roots. She grunted, but didn't hit me again, instead folding her arms and giving me a hateful look that singed me right to the core of my being. "Why any man would want to fuck you is anyone's guess," she said derisively. "Oh well. We can doll you up and make you as pretty as a picture, if that'll bring the men to our door. Don't think you'll get to fake your enthusiasim either. Since I can't conceive, I'm going to be riding every delicious moment, and you'll have no choice but to sit back and enjoy the show."168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDG6M4btH9X
Her gracious gesture allowed me to speak when she saw I had a question. I felt ill inside, but refused to let it show. "Why?" I asked.
Faith shrugged. "I don't need your mind," she told me. "I just need your body. Your interest in the matter is neither needed nor wanted, and to be frank, if you weren't needed to birth healthy cubs, I'd have advocated for your death a long time ago. But Mother needs you to breed the cubs we need to bring down Alpha Adam's pack, and since she is still the Luna, her word is law. Father won't oppose her, by the way, in case you were thinking you had an ally in this house. You don't, and if I had my way, you'd have no one at all. But you've still got me, so get used to it, sister." She smirked as she said this, before turning on her heel and leaving, slamming the door behind her with enough force to make the window rattle. But I could still sense her outside, and I had no choice but to keep my chin up, waiting for the moment when she'd leave so I could allow myself at least a few moments of peace.
But that peace never came, and by the time Faith finally gave me permssion to go to bed, long after the sun had gone down and stars filled the sky, I climbed under the covers and went to sleep, not even allowed the luxury of crying myself to sleep. Things had just gone from bad to worse.
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