“He struggled with himself, too. I saw it——I heard it. I saw the inconceivable mystery of a soul that knew no restraint, no faith, and no fear, yet struggling blindly with itself.”
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“My heart coked on pain that was not my own. Thats what love is.”
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“For the living, death is the only real relief. That’s because the only time you can’t feel pain is when you are dead”.
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Life was hell. Again. Every day I woke up, got up, dressed up, ate, brushed my teeth, went to homeroom, went to my classes, did all the homework easily in like ~% minutes, walked around the I sand, did some other shit I prob forgog, then literally collapsed back at dorm and cried four for hours.At least Josh was my only comfort………
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Meanwhile we where sitting in math class. “Hey, cheer up, rain clouds” Jennaphera inspired teasingly. Jeenapjaera was my new bestie and prob the only non-lame girl at Evervale. “Come on, seriously. I mean, idk why ur upset! You have the best grades, a totally hot boyfriend, plus you look so cool and sashionable” Jenna commented, but I sighed. And it was all true, but Derek was stil missing. “That’s all def true. It’s just…Derek is stil missing.” I explained sadly. Jennaphera sighed, like, “Oh jeez I dont get you but ur my bestie so literally whatev”. We both just sat there for a minute, me slumped at me desk, her tiwrling a pencil around with magic, both watching Mr. Weazle have a heart attack. “Well, you could, like, try Slimy Mike maybe?” Jenna suggested helpfully, after a mintue. “Mimey Mike?” I doubled, totally lost. “Slimy Mike. He’s like the resident nerd asskisser. He knows everything that happens here since he payed of all the teachers. Actually I think he’s kinda cute” Jenna admitted half-joggingly. “Really?” I exasperated, but she just shrugged like “What r u gonna do?” So I sighed and just went down to the cafeteria. I bragged a extra Bonus Bannana while I looked around for Slimy Mike. Suddenly Jenna points jim out to me————“There! See the short guy with the gib glasses?”. “Hey Mike!” I called, but he ignored me. I moved closer. “I know you can here me!” Still no answer. I noticed he had a bunch of assmisser kids all sitiing a round him like budget bodygaurds————one of them even bought him food. Well, that pissed me of. I ferockously whipped out my phone and, once I got his info from Jenna, started swiping with a vengeance:
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HEY NOT-SO HOTSHOT
LOOKING FOR DEREK DARKHEART
NEWSTUDENT LIKE ME
KNOW YOU KNOW SOMETHING
TELL ME OR ELSE
BTW DONT THINK UR WALMART ODYGUARD CAN STOP ME I ATE THAT SHIT FOR BREAKFAST
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At last Mike turned around and gave me a little flick like, “Well, come on over bitch”. That pissef me of even more. I stomped over, menacingly. “WHERE IS HE?!” I shouted/interragoted, totally ticked and also worried. The little dork twitched his mouth a bitty bit like maybe he was gonna talk————————————But actually he just smiled. “I don’t know,OK? So there,” He smugged, smorkly. His thuggy friends all laughed, meanwhile. What a little dickhead! I dropped my voice and leaned in real close: “OK, okay, I see how it is. But listen tho. Either do what I want, or I’m going to kindap you from your bed, tie you up, cover you in honey, and hit you with this mallet-” I hefted the mellet I had been carrying——”-until youre nice and tendy. Then I’ff feed you to the monkies, but I wont let them eat you all at once. Ill kept you in a cave, stick you out bit by bit, until your all gone. Then ill take whatev is left and flush it down the toilet.” The kid stretched his face from fear, and he literally cried a little. What a bitch, right? “OKkay, OK, ok!” he screeched fearfrilly, eyes even bigger then his fatass glasses. “I’ll talk!” And yo uknow what? He did.
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**
*
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“Josh, we need to talk,” I required needily (qlllthough not, like, to eedily to where it would be cringe). “OK” Joshery replied, succonctly. “Listen, I don’t think we…work right now, KAY?” I apologized. Meanwehile Joshery looked at me, a little smile playing around on top of his lips. “You smell that? That’s destiny, on, like, the wind. And you can’t hide from those things.” He slowly furnished, sagely. “Josh, I think…I…I think maybe…I hink may bye Deeark’s soul is damaged.” I worried all loud. At first Joshery nodded, then he just sat ther silently, but then he nodded again, golden curls jiggling. “I was never born without a soul.” He provided, chilly. I puzzled meanwhile over what they that might mean? I mean, like, huh? Of coarse, since its not like im dumb or something, I eventually got it: “Ooooh, I get it.”
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*
**
After my next class I quickly ran all over the school, gathering Josh and Jenna and doing a few other things I cant talk about yet. Once we were all together I said: “Guys listen. I found out where Derek is, but he’s totally way off campus. I need, like, a way to sneak off and get back too,” I requested, glancing around at each everyone. Jenna shook her head, blonde hair bouncing a bitty bit. “We have to wait for the student shield to go down, or else it’ll vaporize us.” Jenna warned. “Student shield?” I verified, confused. “It’s one of solomonon’s spells. It’s like a giant bubble that vaporizes anyone trying to get out during class peroids.” Joshery explained, jenna also nodding as well. “So that’s it? We just give up?!” I raged, sadly. “Well, your’right of course. We wont give up, OK? Let’s just wait intl the next time it goes down, then I’ll cover for you. But member, you guys have to be back in 1 hour or else the shield will kil you.” Jenna schemed. “Cool. Thanks,”
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“I’m depressed,” I declared, crying. Allthough I only cried a tiny teeny weeny bitty little bit, basically just one single teat that slid down my face. “I know Chylce. I’m sorry. I know its prob derek’s dissapereance that bugs you, right?” Joshery symped, thized, and I nodded. “Yeah, ” I supported, “yeah”. Josh rubbed his perfect shin wizenly, then said: “You know…there is still a way to find out where Derek went. But it would be a lot of trouble. Youd pretty much have to convert and everything.” He released, slowly. I looked at jim in suprise. “What are you, like even talking about?”, I laughed, but also eyeballing him so he knew I wanted a answer. “The Phrophecy,” Derek confirmed. “It’s like sort of like a giant prediction-type of thing, written down in magic language on a huge scroll. Supposed it has a answer to every question”, He defined vaguely. I finished laughing. “Oh, OK, so, like, I should convert or something?” I teased but only half-jokingingly “Nah, that’s not what I meant, O-K? Ideas like that are like way overrated, dude”, Joshery stamped quickl,y. But that didnt seem to work. “Are you totally sure tho?” I doublehecked, suddenly interested in convering. I mean, what would you do? This prohphecy shit seemed to have all the answers. Meanwhile Josh frowmed and also spoke while frowning: “Liste,n sister, I lived religion. I breathed it. For my whole life, even. Because I was desperate. Desperate to understand the Prophecy. So I took the plunge. And it, crossed me. Cost me deep. I can’t ever recover or come back from that.” He motioned with his toes as if they were hands. “Look over there.” I looked and saw a massive fountain a bout 4 stories tall I had never noticed before. “See how the water flows where it’s supposed to? Even though it wants to flow down into the earth, it actually just hangs out right there in the fountain.” He paused. “Im like the fountain and your like the water,” He completed. “Well that would make derek the earth,” I countered. “I dont know josh, I dont think this is going to work with us rn,” I also added, kicking a monkey away. Joshery frowned again and also spoke while ehe was frowning:
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“Listen Chylce. I’ve been around, more than you know. I’ve learned a lot, but if there’s one thing I learned the most, it’s that the only thing harder to stop than a river——” (meanwhile Joshery gestured at the streaming water) “——it is love.” He grabbed my hands in his, shaking his head, luscious, glowing curls bouncing bubbily. “And baby, you can’t stop this.” Then I was like, “Well, maybe…” but I really wasnt totally sure.
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He slightly tilted his head to one side, like a beautiful boulder slowly rolling down a small hill. “What is it?” He enquired gently but firmly. “Joshery, listen, I, like, really like you, like alot a lot. But I also def have to listen to my heart. And my heart says: “you totally have to get with Derek ASAP”. Okay? I’m sorry though. Maybe we can still be freinds and stuff, still? I dont want to hurt you’re heart Josh. It just has to be this way, Kay?” I blurted. Joshery’s eyes grew wide, like an old man past his prime who only eats burgers and shit but used to do keto——————onky his eye werent’ fat obviously. “Your delusional. Totally crazy! Derek is corrupting you! Why wont you sea that! Foolish bitch!” He screamed at me,roaringly. Then the boulder calmed down and shook back and forth: “Now I see. None of this stuff will leave us alone until our beef is settled. Than you’will be free of Darek and be free to be with me, like you should be, like its destiny to be.” I was a little shocked and confused at that so I just decided to ignore it.
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So then we went back to tracking. “Hold on, I thinks I foundsomething!s” Called Jennaphera, and I went”Cool what it is?” We all went over to check it out**. “It that…shit?” I increduled, beweilderilly. Well, it literalyl was. Squick, right? “Ewwww……” Cooned Jenna, totally squicked out.
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Joshery squatted down, examining the shit. Then he stuck his finger in it. “Hmmm………yeah, this is pretty much shit.” Derel meanwhile rolled his dark, captivating eye. “So what, everyone shits sometimes.” Derek quipped quickly and also cleverly. Than I laughed a bittle bit, but Joshery shot a quick comeback at Derek, glaring. He (J) shrugged calmly. “Not everyone has to shit. Remember who you’re with. Besides…” He took another bite. “This isn’t even human. This isn’t just any shit. It’s demon shit.” Derek immediately stood up on full alert, scanning the exits. I realized with a start that he had already pulled out his sword, so fast I hadn’t even noticed at all. One beefy arm twotched. “Daemons? Your sure?” Then Joshery nodded: “Sure as a stone falls off when I throw it off a morning cloud. So, like, definitely”. Derek glowered, glancing a round glaringly. “…shit.” “So do you thank may be thi smeans that the traitor was aworking with a demon?” “a Inbucim,” Derek korrected. “Right, whatever. Do you?” They both ponded for a splot second, them, “Maybe. Irregardless, it still means that theirs still here on campus.” “Whose still her?” I doubled fearfully. Josh clarified: “Traitors,”, Josh clarified. “Shit!’, I swore.
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“But where cold they even be?” Joshery was wondering all outloud to himself. “Idk” was the reply…
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Mewhile I was sneaking away, following a little set of feetprunts I had noticed just barely earlier a minute ago. They looked like…THree little claws, with a wideheel on the back…”Weed” I commented quietly, murmuring basically. Suddenly a huge roar roared out, rumbling my stomach worse then that time I eat Merleen’s “kooking”—————or what she had used to passed off as that, anyways. MEANWHILE THE MOSNTER WAS ABUOT TWELVE FEET TALL MAYBE AND LOOKED LIKE A HUGE, MUSCLEBONDED, BODYBOULDER, WITH HUGE RED AND FLAMING SKIN, SIX BIGASS GOATHORNS ON TOP, LONG BLACK CLAWS, AND GOAT LEGS DOWN BELOW. LUCKILY IT WAS WEARING SOME KIND OF ARMOR DOWN THERE SO I DIDNT HAVE TO FIND OUT WHAT INCUBIM JUNK LOOKS LIKE. “DIE you BITCH!” THe monster roared agian, and this time it swapped a huge claw toward my head. Dudging just in time I docked under it, feeling the air swoop through/past my ravened-darl waves.s “hELP!” I shuted, twrilign and dodging and duckign and jumping and flipping and somehow dodging the monster’s attacks. I heard running from behind me as Josh ran to help my:
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Suddenly Josh taunted up at the monster moudly: “YO, buzzkill! Down here dude!” Then Joshery whipped out his sword, robes flying in the breeze. “Holy shit, that’s huge,” I said, and it was. Almost longer than Joshery was tall and just about as wide, the gleeming sword was huge and gray and imposing, like an elephant’s ass. Instantly he swiped and swung in three quick motions, and then suddenly the mosnter’s arms fell off with wet glopping noises. At first I was pleasently suprised to see just burning ashes come out—————I was still wearing my nice outfit remember, normally I would be totally hyped for some gore—————but then a shittonne of blood shot out of the raged stumps, sturting all over the grass. Then it went back to ashes, and the monster raored: “OUch! That hurt you little dick!” He ran over towards joshery, horrifingly still fighting and walking too even tho without his arms even. He buckheaded Josh viciously with his jorns, sending him flying through a hedge————I saw some blood dripping from the meanly sharp horns-tips. The demon, I mean incubim damnit, stood there and cockled evilly. “Heh, heh, heh…so puny!” “Hey, mega-vet! OVer here!” I taunted, flipping him off. He looked over iritably, but not irritably enough, so I unleashed my main artillery. Let’s just say I lit him up, and when I was dumb he dropped his mouth in amazment. “Hey! My mother IS NOT A RETARD FACTORY!” He howled, a bloody tear rolling down his red cheek***. Then He bared his massive tusk-fang shit at me and charged. “NOWSERS!” I shouted commandingly, and instantly dozens of red-caoted monkies jumped the armless demon man. Wow. Woah, they were really into it*———gunshots and sword-shots rang out as they started all chipping him up into little monkey-sized chops: I laughed in surprise as they tore his (red guy) head’s off. I SIGHED A breathe of relief, also.
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Meanwhile Joshery was also pissing on the corpse. “Holy shit Josh, lirtally what r u doing?” I shouted. Joshery meanwhile looked backwards casually. “Peeing.” He glanced down at the body, realizition glowing his dreamy curl-framed face. “Oh, you mean, like, the body. It’ll get wet from the rain anyway, and the earth needs the sustenaince. Just the circle of life baby.” With that he finished and winched it back up into his pants, still dribbling. (By the way, NO, I DIDNT SEE “IT”, OK?!).eanwile Ollie the monkey ran over to me secretely just like I told it to earlier. “Hey, Miss Essastella! I got the info you wantedd! Derek is at the top of 665th place in downtown dearwood, across from B.B.I. Tower.” As payment I handed him the bonus banaana from the cafeterhea. He practically exploded with excitment, bouncing up and down. “Hey, how’d you even get that guy to talk, anyway?” I asked Ollie, curios depsite meself.. The monkey smiled through his bannana. “You don’t wanna know.”
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** * * *
* *
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I rusheied through the rest of my day, scouring me homework faster than a mcdolands line cook bucking for a promotion scours the grill. Then I got a cab to downtown Wallavale. The driver blinked in amazement when I handed him the gold coins that were also Everemorne’s Isalnd’s main currency. “Step on it!” I told him, and he did. It still took so long that By the time I got there and stepped out onto the pacement, the sun was going down. I entered the foyer of 664th place and hurried to the service stairway-well, sneaking by a fat nasty guard on the way. I hurried up the flights (of stairs, duh), panting a little by the time I got to the top. It was a lot of floors. The last door oomed down at me, rusty and shitty just like my day. I shoved it open, and…
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Finally, and at long last, I had finally had found derek, and he was sitting all by alone right on the edge of the buildingtop. He was actually sitting right on a gargyole-type scultpure. I almost broke down right here, but I tell myself I have to keep going, so I take another step. The wind gusts suddenly, almost tripping me over, and I gasp again. Then I take anther step again.
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Derek swore, still as a statue. “Fuck, I wish I could kill myself.” He swung his sneakered foot idly, dark jeans darkly stark against the poen air. “I’ve, tried, you know. Jumped off off this ledge a few times.” He laughed darkly. “I should have known it wouldn’t work…” He trailed off, voice more bitter then James Hoffman dark coffee. I glazed qoazzically at him. He flapped his hands like they where little wigs. “”Fallen angel” and all that shut.” That’s horrible! Wait, he’s a fallen angel?! “Oh Derek, that’s terrible! Wait, your a fallen angel?!” I copied, allthough with some additions of mine own. “Yeah, I am.” He admitted comm entarily. “I’m sure you think I’m a total freak” But I shooj my head, actually. “Actualy I don’t, derek. I thnk your actually totalyl hot.” I added, but he still looked doubtfully, so istead I also said: “And, plus, I dont even like Josh!”
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“Don’t lie!” Derekscreamed.“IcanseeintoyourheartlikeaWINDOW!” We both creid them, and then I said, “Yeah, OK, that was a lie. I guss I do. But what I saidbefore still counts/1” erek then looked hopefull then, but then he shook his head again. “No. It’s too late. My heart…it’s filled witjh darkness.” He revealed, secretley. But I was confused: “But why?” “Fuck! Because you were my light!” He cried out, crying. I did a little flutter thing with my hands then and then said: “How big, Darek? How big is the darkness in your heart?” He shook his head, dark mysterious hair shaking. “Too big for you too ever know.”, he blockaded, but just like a high college kid in his dad’s ferrari, I refused to be stopped. “Let me know! Let me inside!” I begged, pleading. Derek thrashed, turning away. “NO!” He screamed, totally tortured. “But the where does it come from? I mean, why cant you just live here with me?” I postulated beggingly, almost crying again***.*
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DRrk huffed then in a irritated and bitter way. “Where do you think darkness came from? Satan’s asshole? No. Humans.” He spat barbedly. “Wow derek, that;s…deep. And also totally sad.” I sympathised sadly. He kicked at the gorgoyl’s ear idly. “Now you now. I can’t live here. I can’t be with you. And I can’t let the darkness out.” DArek said darkely… “But why not Derek?” I assdked, totally in a emotional way. “Because if I do…” Derek looked darkly, deep into my eyes, and his deep wells of pain and darkness glittered, glassy-smooth. I knew then he was baring his dak totured soul too me, and than I also knew that every word that his silky tongue wrote was True. “…you’re all fucked.” he famished, darkely. Then he went backto being depressed, and that made me deressed.
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“Liberally why did God have to make me so, like, hot?” I wondered internally in my inner boice, and it wasnt even like in a pridefull way or smn like that. I literally just hated seeing how torn up hot guys got over me! “Oh Darek, why did Satan have to make you so totally hot and gorgus?” I sighed, and he also sighed then after that: “Oh I don’t know, why did God have to make you so much totally more hot and gorgous?” He countered wittily, and then I sighed again, and then we just swpent the rest of the night staring romantically into heach others eyes. It was literally so romantic.
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But then of course I remembered: Something bad was going to happen. “OMG the bubble-shield-thing! Come on!” I yelled, dragging derek towards the edge. “No stop” he said, and I did. “We have to huurry back!” so we did, running down the stairs, across the lobby and into the uber I got while we where running. But the stupid idiot uber driver was literally so bad wasn’t made it back in time no matter how much I threatened him. Finally we got back on the island, and we were running right for the exit. But it was to late————the shimmering bubble suddenly began to grow around the school again, and then it vaporized us.
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But at the last minute I threw up ,somehow that locked it! I saw in amazement as the bubble dodged around my hands to dodge us. We had survived! But suddenly solomonon arrived out of thin air ina bright flash of light, and also everyone else did to. “HOW DARETH THEE POP MINE BUBBLE!” He roared magically loudly, filling the air with tembling noise. “It was the last of its kind!” He shouted as a afterthought, sadly. Than he roared more towards us and also a little queter: “THEE LEAVE ME NO SUCH CHOICE…THY AND THEE BOY-SPY DEREK ARE HEREBYHENCETH OUTCASTS! That means scram you little shts.” Slimy Mike and a few others actually started laughing, meanwhile Jenna and the other cool students covered their mouths in shock, like “No!” and A few started crying even. Joshery, to my shock and horror, just frowned a tiny bit tho. “That’s it! ” I shouted! “Fuck you solomone, and fuck you slimy mike, and fuck you gorge clooney and fuck all you losers. Everyone who’s cool is chill tho————I’ll be back, dont worry.” I proclaimed. Then I turned to Derek. “I totally am into you Derek,” I told him. THen we klissed, and it was literally so hot omg. Suddenly a roar of pure emotion broiled out from be behind us: “HOLY SHIT I’M GONNA KILL MYSELF, HOLY SHIT I’M GONNA KILL MYSELF!” Joshery screamed, flailing to the ground, clawing at his dreamy blue eyes. He was miserable, tortured even. “NO, FUCK……NOOO…WHYYY…” He screamed, thrashing and sobbing——meanwhile I sat in sunned stilence, totally horrifed——“NOOO! KILL ME!” Joshery screamed, and suddenly he tore out one cackling blue eye, its wierd core-tail thing dangling, blood spluttering out of his empty eye-scocket and the from the eye to, and I noticed the blood running down his seaxy ripped arm. “Joshery, please, no!” I bregged, butt he had allready run away from me.still dreaming and dobbing and flailing around in total dagony. So in stead of that I just sat their, devasted, crying, docked to my fore. Joshery was gone, and he was definitely never ever coming back.
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***
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After we had left, I was feeling seriously depressed allthough luckily I had Derek still. “Listen Chylce,” He implored beggingly, and so I did, still sad tho. “Yeah what?” I returned sadly, examinining my fignernails in a sad way. “I know theirs still away to get back our school and every thing. Are you in?” I looked over at old shitty graywall. Yeah, I’m in. “Yeah, I ‘m totally in. What’s the plan?” First derek smiled. “First we need to get to Big Brimston HQ.”
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*NOT LIKE THAT!
**Stop/1 it literally wasnt in that way obv…
***The one on his FACE, duh!
****It’s not lame, like I said this is a big moment OK>? It would be cringe other wise tho
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