"Until the sky rolls back like a scroll, I have failed nothing."
—Satan
"Until the sky rolls back like a scroll, I have failed nothing."
—Satan
So then we arrived right at the base of Big Brimston HQ. I stared at it wierdly, trying to think how I never noticed how it was actually there, even literal decades of living there. Must be magic, I decided at tat point. "So what do we need again?" I asked for a third time. "All we need to get to the top floor, Floor 666, and grab my sword, the Shard of Darkness." Derek expidited, also for a fourth time. "Once I have my sword back I'll get my full powers and we can escape. Once that happens we can go wherever we want since I can just kill people if they dont let us do what we want" He finalized. "OK, got it. Let's do this." I readied. Then we went into the lobby, and Derek cuffed me. "Hey!" I shouted, hurt and stung worse then that one guy I tricked in to swimming in bee-attractent. "Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… Trust me!" Derek whispered, so I did. The lobby was massive, marble, and literally gold-plated, and one on side a massive row of fireplaces crackled. Hundreds of pathetic, sad-looking people crushed into fat sardina lines taped in front of six massive stone desks. Massive stone pillers pillared up into the far-away-off ceiling. "What are tey doing?" I whimsied also, and then Derek said: "Signing contracts, making deals. None of them know their really actually giving up their souls, of ocourse…"He quieted, slightly more then bitterly. "HEY! What are you doing?" a guard complained, waddling over to us. "It's me, Derek. Just taking in the prisoner," Derek lied, and suddenly I undertood what he said/was doing earlier when he cuffed me. "Oh ok cool" the guard allowed, smiling. "Then we all got into the elevator, and Derek punched in 6-6-6. The elevator rubbled like a belly whale, rumbling and groring almost like it was as if a snoring whale."
The elevator dimmed and peed up, and then we got out. I saw the room we where in was actually a businuss men meeting room, and sure enough it was also actually filled with businessmen. "Oh look a little bitch! " One jibed, and another went like "Yes, that must be that bitch that what's caused Boss so much problems." Another seconded. Suddenly Derek jumped up on the table, and suddenly I noticed he had actually cut my cuffs—just so fast I hadnt even noticed. The businesmen all farted to grumble and be confused then, but then one of them asked "Hey, arent' you the CEO's Kid? David or something? Devil darkheart?" He wimbled stupidly (I mean his name is DAREK, I mean come on its not that hard!). Derek snorted at that guy, then he grabbed the freindly guard and killed him, dropping his ded stupid body on the businessbean who said had that.
"That's right bitch. I'm Darek FUCKING Darkheart!" Darek said wickedly, almost-not-quit-smiling(really more of a joyful grimace). Then he killed them, blasts of pure darkness ripping the flesh from their old ugly faces. "I'm bad to the bone and inside the marrow too!" He said flippantly in a kind of a bad-boy way. Meanwhile A businessmen yelled out in terror, stumbling for the exit. In one flude movement Derek leaped gracilly from the window, spinning right through the air like a dark angel of Death, jacket fluttering almost as if the dark wings of leatherly Death (allthrough not literally). Then his black sword slashed right through that stupid bitch and tore him in half. Hot blood sprayed every where, splattering my new outfit. "Wow Derek, that was…hot." I admitted. He sstepped up/down to me hotly, brushing some blood off off is dark gleaming leather jacket, smiling a dark secrete smile that I toatally new was literally just for me. He didnt say anything, but he did glower and smolder hotley towards my the rest of the business men wee totally sceaming and crying and freaking out hardcore like the weak little bithes they where. Darak cooly glsnced over them coldly, then looked at me like "it's totally up to you babe (allthough he didn't actually say babe, sadly)" "Shall we?" He inquired in a sinister way that was literally to hot. "Yeah, OK!" I giggled (not on like a cringe way tho(also see: Jenny and her "freinds") just like, "OMG I cant believe this shit is really happening!"). So then we finished killing the business men.
Out of nowhere, the elevator ruptured out a huge newslew of businessmen—only these businemsen werent actually businesssmen tat all but instead those same agent-type wierdos from earlier. I saw the red-blood-drop emblom slogo on their lapels…the very same logo that was also on the back of Dereks jacket. And so Thats when I knew for sure and beyond a shadeow of a doubt that he had been telling the truth earlier. Suddenly the elevator collapsed, roaring all the way down to the lobby before explodng so hard fire shot up into the room we were in, to. Instatnly six agents burned alive, screaming, and luckily they did cause they be shielded us from the flames. "Derek" Derek explained over the noise, then he stabbed another agent in the throat with his picketknife, kicking another out the window with a bang and a sharp crack as the window shattered all along the wall. Cold wind whipped in, shaking up derek's jacket, my hair, and the agents suits. Then they pulled out big guns and started blasting away: BAng, BANG, BANG-BANG-BANG! BANG!BANG!BANG! BANG-BANG…BANG! My ears instantly started to rang, and all a around big holes srarted popoing though the walls as the bullets hit them.
I DUCKED and rolled under neath a table before remembering I actually had shield powers and rolling back out the of the now-ruined table as it exploded foam the all the bullets. Ears tinging, I thrwe up,my hand and blacked the bullets, sending them all pinging off into the agents' with wet little pops and fat spurts of blood. THen I ran behind derek while he killed them. But just as he finished throwing the last guy out the broken window, a new squad burst in from the side doors, and these guys looked even weirder then the others. Magic and or demons or something, I assessed, correctly, and sure enough one of them turned into a giant flaming monster covered in spikes. "Hey! What's your name? Big Ugly?" I taunted, granning D's hand and running back the other way—but more suddenly more guard were there to. We where actually sirrounded it turns out.
Suddenly, just right when it sounded like all was lost, the figure appeared outof nowhere in a binding flash of whight brite light, kind of like how on the subway back in chapter IV. Instantly all the bad guys were blinded, and Big Ugly of gasped in a stupid kind of way, like as if he was a bigger and uglier goldfish (allthough not a a fish obviously). The light faded then and I could see who the mysterious figure actually was. It was Joshery! And actually Judy was also there to. He (Joshua not Juda) had on a stylish black eyepatch emblozoned with a golden symbol on it, a layered white Kimono decorated with golden thread that was woven in a reverse-chevron pattern, that was under a thick golven vest made out of rough golded fiber (I realzied it was prob armor), and a crown-like Portation Devorce (and accincidentlly his one had tactical-looking kind of anti-grabbing spikes around it so it looked like a spiky crown kind of). For shoes he had his signiature brown patent-leather sandals allthough these ones had been fittered with stylish, sweeping gold metal plates for kicking and stuff like that. Meanwhile he was also welding two golden clubs in each hand—bierfly I saw they each had a spike coming out on each side just below the top/bottom that shimmered with magic essence, makign them look slightly like bladed crosses even though that is not what they were. His hair looked different to, like he had shaved it though the top was still long to have his patent curls. "JOSHERY!" I aired in surperse, hocked. He smiled in a maniac, high-on-who-knows-what kind of what. "THAT'S RIGHT ON! I'M NACK, dude!" He claimed shoutingly, stabbing someone in the chest before cutting another guard-s head clean off with his other hand. Blood somehow didn't get on his clothes—Magic, I tjhought. Cool! I need to get some of that shit ASAP—as he used both his weapons to cut a third guard into four beefy pieces. "STEP OFF," hE roared, kicking a fifth guy into a nearby wall with a boom—I heard a crunch and the guards legs and back sagged like the last forgotten balloon in a terminal cancer patient's ICU room. He started to cry and scream but joshery just kicked him again so that his head flattened. "NO BAD VIBES FROM YOU" He screamed cheerfully, throwing the body across the room into the other guards with a thud. "Wow way to go josh, you totally saved the day plus our asses!" I pointed out. Suddenly Joshery started to get overwhelmed. "Look! Out!" I warned, but to late. A bodyguard suddenly charged into a huge demon that literally looked like Big Ugly's twin brother.* Josh seemed like he was going to be able to fight that off when soddenly Judy stabbed him in the neck, laughing evilly. "I was the traitor all along!" Judy cackled, laughing evilly and stabbing Joshry again. "UN…COOL!" Joshry strained—with the last of his stength he attacked Judy, ripping them up into bloody, gooey, screaming chunks. Then, Without warning the demon, or should I say incubim maybe, attacked Jeffry from behind and ripped his head clean off. A huge spurt of golden blood exploded from his severed neck-stump thing before he collapsed and then disappeared in a huge flash of light. "Noo!" I screamed, totally freaked and also truamatised. Judy had betrayed us, and Joshery was dead! "Come on!" Derek pulled me away from the chaos towards Satan's office.
We closed the doors behind us, and Derek locked them from opening by sticking a stick through the handles. Instantly banging began on the doors*, but they held. Must me magically enstrengthened, I wisely thought, quickly tho since we were in a dangeroush situation. "Well well well." The smooth, shaky, slithery voice came from behind us—instantly we whirled and also derek pulled out his pocketknife. Atall, dark, handsome man wearing a perfectly tailored silk suit (crimson with a textured black tie) and shiny black leather dress shoes stood just behind us. And who else was it but the Devil himself? (No one, it really was the devil). I noticed he was really hot (then it made sense why how come derek was also really hot to) and kind of gave me strong sigma energy. He actually looked alot like a Henry Cavill, just if he was a bit thinner and more handsome. "Stop right there, DAD" Derek defied, deftly. I sank to the floor, socked. "Well. You must be Chyleece," Stan commented, evilly, also continuing: "I've have to say, I've heard so very much about you…" "It can't be true! I shouted in totall disbelieve, but satan just nodded wickedly. "Oh yes it is. Where are my manners, afterall? Oh yes. I am Lucifer Darkheart, Derek's old man. Pleased to meet of you course,. But lets not get stuck up in simantics, You came here for the Shard, didnt you? Well you cant have it"" The devil declared, cultishly. I saw then the Shward was actually right there, locked up in a tall gass display-case standing off in one cornor of the office. Sawing us looking, Satan smugged then and giggled a little, like, "Yeah, check that shit out". I noticed Derek looked sulky then like may be he was done fighting or somethong, and tat me made made.
"BE CEAST!" I shooted, flaring my fingers and thusting my palm out ward in a Gesture of COMmand. Instantly Satan stuggered, stunned, floored even (not literaly though since he was def still standing. But it was literally so close!). "Wow Chyle," Derek praised, instantly inspired and also impressed. He threw his pocket knife into Satan's armpit—"OW, FUCK!"—and then kicked him in the knee so he fell to his knees before punching the knife again, sending it deeper into his beefy muscles. "OUCH! Stop it!" Satan swore, grainicing out of pain. "YOU stop it," Derek retorented, and he kicked the devil right in the balls. "OK, that's ENOUGH." Satan suddenly jumped ump, still cradling his bruised balls wincedly, but he neverless smacked Derek. It didnt look that hard but Derek flew backward, instantly kocked out. "Damnit!" Satan swore, and he rushed over towards Derek. "HOLD IT!" I commanded, and Satan fake-froze in mockery, turning around with a look like, 'Really? You think you han threaten ME?" Istantly how ever that faker freeze turned into a real-deal freeze when he saw me holding the black-bladed sword, also pointing it right towards at him. "That's right bitch," I taunted with as much venom and hatred and bitterness as I could find in my black withered soul. Satan looked confused then so maybe that worked, but irregardless I added: "Yeah, that's right. I'm in charge now. Go over there and kneel down with your hands on your head and also face the window so you cant see anything. Do it, OR ELSE!" I spat. Satan raised his lean sexy hands, perfectly taylored suit shifting slightly. "OK, OK. Just calm down. Do you even know what you hold in your hands?" He grilled. Meanwhile I was turning it over a bitty bit to look at it better. "It's a sword dumbass" I replied absently, admiring the dark black blade and the spiky silver grip area. Satan stomped his foot in frustration. "It's not just a sword, it's the SHARD OF DARKNESS!" He exasperated, opening his mouth again to talk a second time—intently I started insulting and berting him them: "Do what I said you little prick!", and finally he walked over and did what I said, still shaking his perfectly goomed head. "This is a massive mistake," The Devil warned ominoiusly: "You dont know what that sword can do!" "I know it could prob fuck you up," I countered, picking him with the point a bitty bit. "OUCH!" Satan swore, jerking. "Don't be a bitch," I told him. Than I swung the sord like a baseball bat and clubbed him with it. Somehow he actually was fast enough to get to his feet and almost even grab it from me, but I had started swinging while I was still talking in hope tat he wouldve been distracted, and apparently that worked cause I just barely was able to smack him with it—instantly he (satan) went limp lick a doll or something, flying backward as if dragged by his beautiful chisseleled head, and bounced off the glass with a thud before slumping on to the floor like perfectly-shaped demonic trash (which is about what he was ig). I clubbed him again to be doublesure and than ran over to Derek—the door buckled and banged as the guards outside hit it, wood splintering. Instantly I had a flashback of the mall with Ghab and Ghak. "Derek! Wake up derek!" Finally he woke up: "What…? Whatd I miss?" The door snapped, buckling almost off the hinges. "SHIT!" He jumped upward, kocking the lamp over so it fell downward, and took the shard from me. "Holy shit, that's it. That's my sword. Holy shit, how did you manage to take my dad out!? Your are really are something Chylce." He gushed. I blished a litty bit bitty meanwhile, but more importantly I handed him the Shard. "Totally, like, take it" I told, and finally he took it. "Here goes…"
For a few minutes nothing happend. But then Suddenly all the lights dimmed and all the shadows stretched and flowed towards us, gathered into a kind of a shroud of darkness gathered around Derek, fusing into his body, spooling out and pulsing around. When the darkness went back to normal, Derek had two massive wings covered in black inky feathers. His eyes were even blacker two. He held up the sword before stabbing through the door, and I heard screams of pain as Gig Bugly was dissolved into shadow. Then he threw it at the window—weanwhile the window totally shattered, each broken piece dissolving like melted ice in summer time—before flipping and catching it, wings flapping with a muted Wooosooooosh!. He offered out his hand, feathers (on is wigs, not on hisbody since he dint have those) rumbling in the breeze. "Cgluce! Grab take my hand!" He called, and in that same minute the door exploded off the its hinge and flew past be tween us into the open air. I saw Then I shivered and grabbed ahold of Derek , and instantly he jumped off the roof into the open air. I screamed—"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"—not in a lame way but more so out of excitment and also a biity bit of fear, and that was it. We were free!
*But not like that kind, stop making it weird!
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