“Do you think the dead come back and watch the living?”
– Rebecca, Daphne du Maurier
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"I love you, we love you more than anything in this world and any other out there, Signy. We fell for you the moment we laid our eyes on you. At that moment all I could think of was that I hoped you would accept as. Helios declared at that time he would use his authority on you and I had to fight him on that, we both agreed that we would wait for you and respect your decision." his brown and yellow eyes danced with affection "Thank you for choosing us, little mate. We promise to give you the universe if you asked us to".
Without meaning to, I slightly teared up and leaned forward to kiss him, he leaned in and our lips touched once again. Everytime I kiss him, it's like it's my very first time kissing him. The butterflies in my stomach swirl around as if my body turns into a field when he kisses me.
I love him so much.
We pulled apart as he rested his forehead against mine, a small smile playing on his lips as his eyes were conflicted over looking over my eyes, my face or my lips.
Involuntarily, my eyes teared up at the sight of him, knowing that there is no going back, that I needed to tell him as much as I could tonight.
It may as well be our last night together,
"I love you"
My cheeks slightly tinted as Cian's face lit up with the most beautiful smile I could have seen on Mother Earth. His perfect pearly whites tries to show on full display as Cian tried his best to not act like a child in front of me, it felt like he was trying to keep up his tough demeanor to display that he would protect me in any moment, he wouldn't let his guard down. I rested my palm against his cheek as his stubble grazed against my hands, these same hands that had killed many, I don't know how he would accept everything I would tell him now,
I locked eyes with him for a while then I dreaded the words that came out of my mouth, causing my smile to drop, Cian looked concerned once he saw my expression,
"W-We need to talk, Cian"
He nodded his head in encouragement, sitting up as I mirrored his actions. He held my hands in his for silent comfort, for both of us,
"Tell us, my queen, what has been bothering you"
I tried my best to hide my emotions and I hoped my eyes did not end up betraying me,
I made sure to contain eye context through the whole discussion.
I took in a deep breath and let it all out
"I am not a good person, Cian. And I don't think I deserve to be called the queen of this kingdom. You've built it perfectly, I would be a speck of dirt on it" he tried to cut me off to disagree with a frown but I shook my head "Cian, I have killed countless people. Not in war alone, but out of war too" his eyes were impossible to read at the moment, he and his wolf were silently fighting to be the one to stay on surface "Remember my father? The wanted man, dead or alive?" he nodded his head in recognition, that he had already known that my father was a criminal before we had been together "I killed him".
My eyes flashed in the slight excitement of remembering that I had rid the world of a disgusting creature like him, he who trafficked children, he who had sex with them too, he who ruined my whole life by growing me into a killing machine from birth, now killing was like second nature to me. The good thing is that I do have control on who actually deserves killing and who doesn't. I know that no one actually deserves to die, but I wasn't going to wait for the royalty to take care of the dirty work that they couldn't get to unless it was too late.
Cian's eyes was unreadable, I couldn't find any positive or negative emotion in them. He was only a listener at the moment, waiting for me to continue, he knew I didn't want pity, so if he did pity me, he wasn't showing it. And I appreciated him for that.
"I was ordered to kill the royalty by him. I was supposed to assassinate you, but that was my last straw, I ended up raising my twin blades on him, not on you." his eyes were about to soften up, but he had a strong grip on himself and his emotions,
He held my hands tighter in his, maintaining eye contact,
"You already know of the crimes he had committed, besides the family abuse of me and my brother and even my mother, he had killed our little sister in front of us to show us what it would be like to defy us like little sis did. He has mentally and phsycailly abused me, I was picked on the most in the family because it was his way of hardening me up for killing" I took in a shaky breath "There is more than I cannot talk about related to killings on my part, but I promise I will soon" my eyes widened in my assumptions "O-Of course that's if you want to hear more, and if you want it to be in court and such"
His eyes searched mine, I don't know what he was searching for, but we stayed like that for a while. I could feel his emotions the same way he felt mine through the mark. He felt disappointed, enraged, uncontrollably sad and was on the verge of the breaking into his wolf form.
I hesitatedly rested my palm against his face, he closed his eyes momentarily as he battled against himself,
He opened his eyes and Cian was gone, it was now just his wolf.
I understood why he was out, in court, Helios was the one who usually judged such crimes that I had done because he was harsher in punishment.
So they had already made their choice,
I tried to smile reassuringly at Helios,
His yellow eyes roamed over me as his deep growl shook the room, he was beyond angry,
He snarled as he marched over to me, I just stood there, I knew this day would come,
I accepted my punishment,
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