I am officially allowed to be on this site.
Of course, when has that ever stopped me? But now I am officially a teenager, and apparently I have reached the age of online legality? Is that how you say it? I don't really know.
Anyway, I am officially thirteen.
That's crazy even to say. I've been wishing to be thirteen since I was eight or nine, because to me, all my life could properly start at thirteen. And in a lot of ways, it's true. I'm now legally allowed to be on certain websites, and I feel older even though it's only been a couple of days.
Somehow, I feel different.
I've never experienced that with other birthdays. Often I waited for my exact time of birth (6:04am in French winter time) only to find that I felt exactly like I had a moment or a day before. But now?
Thirteen is such a miracle.
A couple of months ago, I was surrounded by a toxic friend group from school who constantly talked shit about me behind my back and then denied it. One of them was a girl that I have known for three years and that I considered to be my best friend. Obviously, I did not take it well at all. In fact, I'll admit that I did think about suicide seriously once or twice. To me, there was no point in my life except Quotev, but I was losing faith even in that. No one could help me apart from myself, but all I did was harm myself by staying in that toxic friend group.
Now, a couple of months later. I am in a great friend group at school who are super supportive of me and I am so grateful for them. Two of the people from the toxic friend group moved to England, and I blocked both of them. One of them stayed at school, and though she is part of my new friend group, I made it clear that I would take no more toxicity from her. Anyway, the two who moved to England were the real masterminds of the whole operation.
I have never self-harmed, but I admit that the beginning of 2024 was incredibly rough for me. Honestly, the only reason that I didn't actually harm myself is probably that I was too scared to do it. For once, I like the fact that I'm naturally a cautious person. I could've fallen really low.
So I'm grateful that I've reached 13.
To everyone who feels like shit because the people surrounding them, a word of advice.
Stay strong. Do not let them think that they've won by making you feel like shit. Brush it off. Act strong even if deep down, you feel like shit. Because you cannot let them think that they have the upper hand. Those kind of people will instantly pick up on that and make you feel even worse. Don't let them win.
Next, leave them. I know it's hard, but they aren't worth your time. Block them. Ignore them. Move on, because I bet that they'll move on from you fast. You don't need them in your life. You're better than them.
Stay strong, and remember that I am always here to hear about your problems. You can vent however much you want here. This is a safe space, and I want people to feel heard.
Signing out,
Alex <3
ns 18.68.41.175da2
