Phthalocyanine Blue
Venetian red, golden ochre, and phthalocyanine blue—such beautiful oils and many more were on my pallet. I dipped them on my brush, and they almost leapt onto the canvas. My brush flew at a speed that amazed even me. The works I made were so different than what I made before the Games; they were so exceptional, I didn't recognize them as mine. It was as if I was possessed by one of the old masters.
I was supposed to be painting the square in front of the Justice Building, but I had so many already, so instead I painted my new girlfriend Tess from memory. In my painting Tess had the yellow sundress on that I so adored, and her silly large straw hat she seemed to favor; she was just so cute. I loved Tess, but I also loved Katniss; I was a torn man. Katniss loved me, I knew, but she believed it was impossible for us to be together really, so she was okay with me and Tess. Tess accepted the fact that I also loved someone else; she imaged it to be like I was a widower, even though Katniss still lived with me. I knew we are all causing each other pain, but we each thought it worth the agony because of love. When I was with Katniss I loved to just look on her face and feel her love, and then I'd feel guilt for Tess's sake and vice versa. Love, then joy, then guilt happened again and again in endless circles.
I was supposed to be painting the square in front of the Justice Building, because I was there with Katniss on one of her spy missions into the building. We had gathered a lot of information over the months, though we hadn't found a good way of using it yet. Katniss told me all kinds of terrible things that had happened in other districts that she heard in there, and it made us both want to randomly kill Peacekeepers. Though I was just as angry as Katniss, I was always the one to say no. For one thing, I really didn't want to kill anyone. For another, while Peacekeepers are vile, ours seemed to be the most peaceful of all the districts. And lastly, the people of District 12 would be held responsible for our actions. Maybe they would be okay with our deeds; I had heard their anger many times, but I knew it would be dreadful for them. So I waited out there for more bad news, enjoying the memory of beauty, the soft touch of Tess' skin and the gentle touch of guilt again.
When I saw Katniss come out of the building right through a wall, I got a little upset. Every time something passed through her, or she went through a wall instead of a door, I felt a twinge in my belly.
She ran up to me and said, "Snow is coming. He is going to be here in two days to see you, just before you leave on the Victory Tour!"
The Victory Tour—what a misnomer. I'd dreaded it more and more, but now I had to deal with President Snow. I needed to talk to Tess and make some plans. President Snow considered Tess family, and Tess had already warned me that even though she loathed him, she played the loving grandniece when she was around him.
Two days later, when the day came, Katniss and I saw his large black car pull up in front of my house. Katniss ran out to meet the car even before it stopped. I saw her slip right through the car's door. In a minute two huge men with black suits came out of the car and checked around before opening the door for President Snow.
I waited for the first guard to almost get to the door to open it. I said with a smile, "Good morning! Come in, President Snow and company." The surprise on the two guards' faces was priceless; President Snow controlled himself and gave no reaction.
"It is a great honor to have you, President Snow, in my modest home. Let me offer you some food and refreshments," I said as I pointed to the fully stocked table in the living room. The table was covered with breads, cookies, tea, and coffee. That made it obvious that he was expected and put doubt in President Snow's mind about what I knew and what my intentions were.
Katniss came in. "Two agents outside, and then these two in here. He told them he only expects to be here about 30 minutes, and he doesn't expect any problems."
Originally the plan was to have Tess come in and gush over her "favorite" uncle at that point, but I decided later to leave her out of it. If he became suspicious of me, I didn't want the suspicion to spread to her. She agreed because she had to; I wasn't going to let her be part of it. His spies must have had reported on our relationship, but they couldn't know how serious we were.
"You are so gracious. It is almost like we were expected. Where are Mrs. Everdeen and her daughter?" Snow asked as the overpowering smell of roses faintly tinged with blood entered the room with him.
I felt silly saying such an obvious lie: "Oh, I'm afraid they are at school today. They volunteer to help out with some projects at the school. They are going to be so upset about missing you; I don't suppose you carry any pictures of yourself you could sign for them?"
Snow gave me a sly look, which I took as a compliment. It seemed like he was saying, "What a master bull-shitter I'm dealing with. I like you, kid." But what he really said was "No, I'm afraid not, but that is a good idea."
Just then two Peacekeepers came down the stairs and immediately got to attention. Their timing could not have been better. "Hail President Snow," they both said at the bottom of the stairs.
"Oh, I'm sorry, President Snow," I interjected. "I called these Peacekeepers over to search my house this morning. When I woke up I found a broken window in the basement and was afraid that someone might be hiding somewhere in my house." Hopefully their searching my house made it clear to President Snow that despite the fact I knew he was coming, I had no threat for him.
Snow was actively playing his part. "Well, men, did you find anyone?"
Both of the Peacekeepers seemed more scared than I was as the one on the left said, "No, but it does seem someone broke in last night, President Snow."
Snow looked bored as he waved away the Peacekeepers. "You two are dismissed. How about you and I go up to the study and have a serious talk?"
I led President Snow into the study and let him sit behind my desk; I pulled up a chair. "Okay, Peeta, I'm impressed. You figured I was coming, and you handled it very well. On the other hand, sending the girls away was a bit much."
We were playing a part inside a part, but I was game. "I was afraid your presence would make them so nervous it could be called torture. You have to remember: these people are not used to dealing with people of such high station, like you."
"And you are?"
I ejected some honesty into my next statement. "No, as a matter of fact, I'm not, but the net effect of the Games is to remove my fears." I hadn't thought about this before, but I wasn't ever afraid of President Snow. It's weird—downright irrational—to be this calm around him. I just can't imagine him doing any worse than he already has.
"Strange, most of the victors I have talked to have had the opposite effect. As a matter of fact, my people tell me you have insomnia, panic attacks, and terrible headaches, never mind your delusions," Snow said as he gazed intently at me to see how I reacted to an attack.
Katniss looked pissed in the corner and pushed over some books on the bookshelf, which made him jump, giving Katniss a small smirk.
I stared him down. "My physical problems are rather dramatic, but I wouldn't read too much into them."
Katniss came over next to me and got a wild look in her eyes. "You know, with him and you so close, I think I could just reach into his chest and stop his heart!"
It hadn't even occurred to us that she could kill him. Yes, she was able to move things, larger things every day it seemed, but cause a heart attack? That was a reckless thought! I fingered the "no" signal several times; Snow noticed and grew nervous. I tried to move the conversation along: "So, you came to wish me luck on the Victory Tour?"
"Yes, of course, I wish you a smooth tour, but I need to ask you a few things. First off, what are your intentions with my grandniece Tess Stone?"
At the mention of Tess' name I felt a little fear; she kept herself alive by kissing up to that man. I tried to put some distance between us. "Tess likes me, and we date sometimes. I think she enjoys my company. It's too early in our relationship to know where it will go."
"As you know, she is my favorite of my nieces, and you better treat her well. It would be unwise to break her heart."
"I can promise you that no matter what happens, I will be gentle and kind to Tess. She has been so gentle and kind to me."
He seemed relieved, either because of my assurances or because he had bigger issues. "Good!"
Then he put on his business face. "I don't know how aware you are of the effect of the 74th Games, but from my vantage point, the Games were a disaster. In the Capitol it caused the population to engage in romantic fantasies, and in the districts it promoted revenge fantasies. So now the Capitol people are emotionally attached to you and Katniss, thus threatening the natural political order. In the districts they see you and Katniss as indication they might prevail in conflict with the Capitol. The upshot is both of you are potentially a source of civil disorder."
I acted as if the topic was of no concern to me. "Tough problem, since Katniss is already dead, and my death really wouldn't help—the typical Capitol solution won't work. May I ask what you plan to do?"
Snow gave me a sly smile, letting me know it was going just as he thought. "My advisers say I should cut my losses and just get rid of you."
I could see Katniss' face light with anger, and I knew she would attack soon if I didn't defuse things quickly. "I assume you aren't here just to tell me I'm about to die."
He gave a calculated pause. What a showman he is.
"No, I was impressed with your innate knowledge of people and how to manipulate public sentiment. In many ways you remind me of myself at your age. I too went through an idealist stage. One day you'll free yourself of some of these weaknesses and become a great politician. Anyway, I think your ability to connect to the people can be useful for me. After the Victory Tour you'll come work for me as a spokesman."
I wish this wasn't my life! I wish I had better options! But for me and for the people I love this is what I was fighting for. "I have gotten use to people treating me as much older than I'm, but I should point out I'm only 16 years old."
"That is part of your strength, people foolishly equate youth with virtue. After the tour you'll spend about half your time in the Capitol helping me explain how wise my policies are to the people. Of course I will give you another even grander Capitol house and salary to ease the transition." Snow says with a smile that indicates he thinks I might actually be interested in money and position. I don't know if I understand him but he certainly does not understand me.
"Just to be clear, this isn't an offer—it's an order?" I said, even though I already knew the answer.
Snow stood up and shook my hand. "Good luck on your tour." Then he left with his two gorillas in tow.
Katniss got right in my face and yelled, "You can't do it! That S.O.B. is responsible for my, Rue's, and who knows how many other people's deaths! Let me kill him! I know I could do it; there will be no wounds, no poison, and his heart will just stop."
I grabbed a piece of paper and started writing. "I can't talk here; they may have added more devices while they searched the house. We can't kill him here—too much danger for Prim and Caroline. If we do that, it will have to be somewhere very public with witnesses, far from here." And then I lit the paper up and burnt it right on the floor.
I walked out the front door of my house and started toward the town. The day was wonderful with big puffy clouds and a deep blue sky. The winters were always a long gray affair in District 12. The day was a gift, a gift to a district of long-suffering people who deserved so much better than what they got.
The anger in Katniss' face was hard to look at. "Peeta, he is pure evil. He'll control you, use Prim and my mom to make you his puppet."
She just doesn't understand. "You wanted them to be safe, and they will be as long as I'm useful to him. This is what I've been working toward for months. Yes, he's evil, but I didn't create this world. I'm just trying to keep those I care about safe."
I saw a glimmer of understanding in her eyes, but she would not accept it. "So you're just going to get up in front of everyone and become his mouthpiece!"
I wish she understood what a sacrifice this is going to be for me!"That was the plan from the beginning—what did you think I was going to do? Overthrow the whole country?"
"We don't have to cooperate. I can kill him, and none of his guards are going to help one bit!"
I took a deep breath and explained, "When he dies, everyone will celebrate, but he'll be replaced by another dictator. I don't know who will rule over Panem after Snow, but none of this changes the relationship the Capitol has with the districts. The Games will go on, and I'll be used by whoever rules." When I said that, Katniss just stared with anger at me, but didn't say anything. I walked back to my house to prepare for my team to arrive in silence. I couldn't help but think, Wow, now I'm getting the silent treatment from a dead girlfriend! which gave me a grim smile.
I walked over to Haymitch's house to wake him. Only a couple of times had I been over to his house; it was always such an unpleasant experience. The house was a smelly mess, and he was always so drunk. Some part of me thought I should take care of him, but my plate was just so full I couldn't take him on. After a lot of effort, I woke him and I went back to my house.
In an hour Effie, Portia, my prep team, reporters, camera crews, Haymitch, Tess, Tom, Prim, my family, and Caroline all showed up with the big circus, which was the Victory Tour start. Portia brought along many new suits, all continuing the basic black theme with hints of flame, wonderful things, actually.
At the train station hundreds of people showed up to send me off. I tried to shake the hands of and thank as many of the people as I could. They were smiling to see me, and from having such wonderful weather in the middle of winter. I asked as many of them as I could what they thought of the weather. They all commented about the wonderful and strange color of the sky, and I told them all it was phthalocyanine blue.
Tess had her train car attached to the train, and we left. I saw Caroline, Prim, my friends, family and all the others wave us good-bye, and we were off. I watched the people slowly disappear in the distance, and it made me sad to think they would have to go to their homes under those dull gray skies. Still, I gave them a day to remember while I could. The whole day, and for the whole district I had made them all think it was a big blue sky, but now it was too far away. I have reached a new zenith in my abilities. I finally had the powers I dreamed of, now I needed to plot Katniss' return from the land of the dead.
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