Juggling Secrets
I stood out in the field, looking up into the deep blue sky. Slowly I began to walk backwards, never breaking my stare. I raised my arms . . . I had it; I knew I had it—but then the ball bounced on the ground right next to me. In shock I wasted precious seconds before running after the ball. Damn, damn, damn.
When I finally got to the ball and threw it toward the third baseman I knew it was too late. As I walked back to my position in the outfield, I waited for the jibes and comments from my fellow players, but received nothing. When I looked toward Thomas at second base, he just smiled and shook his head. My friends knew I was losing the game for them, but they didn't care. Part of me thought that it was a shame to be treated like a cripple, but mostly I was just glad to be there in the sun with people I care about, playing ball.
When my friends showed up at my front door that morning I was totally shocked. I am a Victor, local hero, most famous living person in District 12, richest person in town, and the town crazy who keeps getting caught talking to himself—what I am not is a simple District 12 boy. Everyone treats me different and never lets me forget what I went through; even my friends have treated me so differently that I haven't had a moment of pure fun since I returned. So it was a shock to see this group of old friends on my doorstep, all in their game clothes, with bats, balls, and gloves.
My old friend Thomas, the tall blond, said, "Hey, Peeta, did you sleep in? Where is your glove?"
I felt a huge wave of emotion, but I made an effort to control myself. "Hey, guys, come on in. The kitchen is that way—get yourself some drinks while I get dressed." I ran up the stairs; I had to get out of the room as quickly as possible so I didn't look too eager. The idea of being a kid again, of playing ball again, of being with my friends and just acting like the old Peeta was just so great!
Up in my room, I said to Katniss, "Can I have today to myself?"
Katniss smiled and said just before she disappeared, "Sure, you go have some fun."
Out in the sun with my friends was great, but different. Yes, they included me and tried to act like nothing happened, but they couldn't ignore the fact that I was doing a terrible job of playing ball. Maybe it was from not playing for so long, maybe it was my new leg—either way, I was not hitting or catching well at all. Worst yet, instead of yelling at me, they ignored it. I was being coddled, I knew it, but I could accept it as long as I got to play. I may wish things were the way they used to be, but I accept the fact that things have changed.
As we played the game we had a small audience: there are always a few small kids who watch the big kids play ball, but today there was an auburn-haired girl and one very large man watching too. While I awaited my turn to bat again, Thomas talked to me.
"I see your friend Tess is here," Thomas said as he pointed her out. "How did you two meet, Peeta?"
I paused for a second, considering what I should say. "It's complicated, but basically she and I just started talking to each other through letters."
Thomas smiled. "Well, she may be weird, but I like her. She heard I was one of your friends somehow and just showed up on my doorstep a couple days ago. She did the same thing to everyone here."
"She did? What did she say to you?"
Thomas got as serious a face as I had ever seen on him and said, "She told us we were failing as friends. She told us you needed us more now than anytime in your life, and we were just sitting on the sidelines."
It seems I have another thing to thank Tess for.
"So that's why you invited me back into the game."
"Peeta, she was right and we knew it. I'm not sure why we haven't invited you before, why we never came over . . . I guess we didn't know what to say to you. You went through so much—what can words do for someone who went through those damn games?"
By that point, I'd had enough of that serious stuff. "Thanks, I'm loving this. Now if only I could remember how to play," I said with a laugh.
Thomas snickered. "Like you were any good before."
"Oh, that hurts."
After the game I finally went over to see Tess. She had on her simple District 12 dress, though this one seemed a brighter green, unlike any other I'd seen here.
"Well, Tess, did you enjoy the game?"
Tess stuttered a little as she tried to avoid her native accent, "I am . . . I am sorry, I don't know this game. Who won?"
She was trying so hard to fit in and help me that you couldn't help but like her.
"We lost," I informed her.
"I am sorry you lost, but you had fun, right?"
"Yeah, I had fun, and they told me what you said to them. I thought I should say thank you."
"Peeta, I know how it is being rich and famous. I grew up with people avoiding me or just treating me weird. I use to sneak away with a couple of my friends into the city and pretend we were all just nobodies for the day." She stopped and smiled as she remembered. "Me and my friends had pretend names; we even managed fake IDs. Tom got really good at following me without being noticed back then. I so enjoyed talking to people and them just talking to me, or even telling me to shove off. That is one thing I really like about District 12: While everyone here thinks I am a crazy Capital girl, they don't know anything about my family, its wealth or power. I am just a very strange girl here."
I nodded in understanding. "I grew up here—these people have known me my whole life and now they think I'm weird too. They're all so kind, but it doesn't feel real anymore. They don't react correctly. They seem to want to honor me, even when I just want to talk."
Her face formed a serious frown as she said, "That is a good thing, Peeta! You went through so much and now you are starting to feel the urge to return to a normal life. You are healing. It is like the itching of a scabbed-over wound."
Before I could say anything she tilted her head and said, "Do you think you could teach me to play your game?"
"The game is baseball. And sure, if you want. I guess I could teach you, but it's not my call if you get on the team. Maybe we could start by just throwing the ball back and forth," I suggested as I tossed her the ball. To my amazement she easily caught it and just hurled it way up in the air; she then bent down, grabbed two stones that lay by her feet, and threw them up too. Soon I was just staring as she juggled them in one pattern to another.
A big smile spread across her lips as she said, "Well, I think I got this throwing and catching thing down pat."
She looked so cute there just juggling—it made me want to laugh.
"Now where did you learn that?" I asked, grinning.
Her smile became a little sly as she said, "My family spent a small fortune getting me the best private teachers they could find. Unfortunately for them I was more interested in the odd ball things the teachers knew. My old algebra teacher taught me a lot more about juggling than he ever taught me about the quadratic equation."
I took her unspoken challenge and said, "I've learned a couple tricks too." I grabbed one of her rocks out of the air and hid it in my fist. I put my hand right in front of her face so Tom couldn't see, and just pushed a little with my mind. When I opened my hand, the stone had become a rose. When I saw the big amazed smile on her face, I knew it had worked. I closed my hand and opened it again, and once again it was a rock.
Tess gave me a small joking shove. "Peeta! You do magic too! You have to teach me!"
"A good magician never tells his secrets. Come on home—I'm having a small party with my friends."
All the way home she juggled rocks and bugged me for my magic secret. Every time I assured her I wouldn't tell her how I do my magic she added another rock to her juggle and said, "How about now?" All I could do was laugh with amusement as we made our way through the district to my home.
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